Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 He's going to stick his finger in! :sick:You're ruining the romance, Dumble! Stop it. Now I can't get that dirty image out of my mind. Anyway, I wish she'd hurry up and post already. I'm dying to know what happened in that conference room. I just hope no fingers or honeypots were involved.
Author spookie Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 The morning didn't start out like planned. I overslept, and then it took me too long to decide what to wear. I tried on about a dozen sexy sweaters, but settled on the most business-casually outfit I could find, a striped dress shirt and slacks, figuring, even if all this went badly, I'd probably still have a career to salvage - cross fingers. Our meeting was first thing in the morning. We went through our usual weekly crap as I psyched myself up to say it: Jack, can we talk privately? It didn't really feel like a panic attack, but once I blurted that out, things started seeming really surreal. "Of course," he said, "this is your time. Do you want to go somewhere private?" "Yah, that'd be good." I nodded. I limply followed him down the hall, my mind burning, where he found a room for us. "What's up, Spooks?" he asked. I took a breath. "I was hoping I could talk to you in confidence," I started, "about the possibility of a transfer." He raised his eyebrows. "A transfer?" he asked. "Yah," I said. "How does that whole process work?" He explained that rotational program was pretty informal, but usually occurred past at least the 1-year mark of employment. "Why, do you want a transfer?" he asked me. "Yah," I said. "It's not cause of me, is it?" he asked, half-joking. "It is," I said. He got more serious with me, explaining that nothing I said would ever leave this room, and that he wanted me to be honest with him. "It's nothing," I said. "It's more of a personal issue?" The space between us stiffened. "May I ask what that is?" I nodded. "May I not answer?" "Yah," he said, "but if it's a personal issue, and you want a transfer... I want you to know that I, and all of the other people here, think you have a lot of potential, and would be more than willing to accommodate you so you feel comfortable, but if you don't tell me what's going on, I can try to help you, but I might not be successful." "Ok..." I said. I took a moment to breathe deeply. Then I looked straight in his eyes. "I'm attracted to you." "Ok," he said. His facial expression blanked from surprise, but after a couple of moments, I noticed a faint smile seeping in. "And it's just become really stressful for me to work for you." He nodded. "I understand." "And I know that's probably a pretty stupid reason for a transfer - " "-No, not at all," he cut me off. "But on the other hand, I don't feel like I should be stressed at my job because of something like this, and it's gotten to the point where I thought it was appropriate to speak up." Without skipping a beat, he went on a 15 minute rant about what a good employee I was, and how impressed he was with my honesty, and appreciated my coming to him, before promising me that he'd act in the best interests of my career - and if that meant getting me somewhere I'd be more comfortable, he was supportive. For the rest of the day he was friendly, and made it a point to go out of his way to check up on how I was doing. I have no idea how to read that.
johan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Hey, Spook. How does this compare to what you wanted to happen? I think he handled it well, to be honest. It's what you should have expected.
Author spookie Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 Hey, Spook. How does this compare to what you wanted to happen? I think he handled it well, to be honest. It's what you should have expected. What I really wanted was for him to give me some indication that he felt the same way, but I didn't really expect that to happen in that setting, under those circumstances. Later on in the day I definitely kept getting he-likes-me vibes from him, but he could have just been trying to make me feel comfortable? He said a couple of things during the meeting that sort of threw me off. One, he asked if I wanted to still stay in our division, if I could work for someone else, which struck me as odd, because if he were planning to reject me, he should probably know I'd feel uncomfortable being that near him, and if he wasn't, wouldn't he not want me in such proximity, either? The second thing was when he was telling me how impressed/ glad he was I came to him. He said he hoped I'd always feel comfortale trusting him, and that even after I got a trasnfer, he hoped I could come to him. (This sounds like he wants to be a father figure to me, not a boyfriend; but it's also unfair to take implications out of unrehearsed things.)
johan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 It's good that he cares about his career more than he does about getting your clothes off. You need to cool it for a while. Try to any way. Just do your job and look for distractions (healthy ones) outside the office.
Author spookie Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 It's good that he cares about his career more than he does about getting your clothes off. You need to cool it for a while. Try to any way. Just do your job and look for distractions (healthy ones) outside the office. Yah, I'm not going to do anything as long as he's still my boss. I had that decided a long time ago and it was the reason I didn't go the care-to-join-me-for-a-drink approach route like everyone suggested. At least he doens't think I am crazy, or creepy!
OpenBook Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Yah, I'm not going to do anything as long as he's still my boss. I had that decided a long time ago and it was the reason I didn't go the care-to-join-me-for-a-drink approach route like everyone suggested. At least he doens't think I am crazy, or creepy! And thank God for that! Smart move, Spookie - I really admire the way you handled it. And I think he does too. His subsequent behavior tells me that he is RELIEVED that you are handling this so professionally, and not flipping out on him. From what you've posted about him, he has probably gotten LOTS of offers before... and I bet none of them handled it as well as you did. Keep up the good work!
D-Lish Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Spooks, he sounds like a consumate professional... Someone that doesn't mix business and pleasure. Do you feel like he was actually surprised by your confession? Like he didn't see it coming? I doubt, that being in a position of power, that he could tell you anything about how he feels or doesn't feel. He has to tread carefully being in the position he is in. I'm not surprised by the lack of repsonse- simply because he needs to be careful about boundaries.
johan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Not creepy at all. A little crazy. But you knew that. I hope you can relax now and look past some of this. Things balance out. Someday you'll be the boss and there will be a hot, young kid there dying for you.
Isolde Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Well, I bet you made his day anyway. I agree though; you should probably cool it off for a while. Give yourself a pat on the back for being honest and gutsy, and then maybe at least try to find a second crush??
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Good for you, Spookie, for getting this off your chest. I hope it goes your way.
JamesM Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Spooks, he sounds like a consumate professional... Someone that doesn't mix business and pleasure. Do you feel like he was actually surprised by your confession? Like he didn't see it coming? I doubt, that being in a position of power, that he could tell you anything about how he feels or doesn't feel. He has to tread carefully being in the position he is in. I'm not surprised by the lack of response- simply because he needs to be careful about boundaries. I would go with this as the probable reason. He did everything to keep it as professional as possible. He went out of his way the rest of the day to keep everything as normal as possible. He wants to avoid being uncomfortable with you and he wants to make it so that you have no reason for a lawsuit. If he made a move of any sort...verbally or physically, then he could easily find himself in a bad situation. If he distanced himself from you and made you mad, then he may find himself in a bad situation. This one is a "walk the line carefully" situation. He is doing well. His reaction says nothing about his feelings for you IMO.
Dumbledore Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Good for you, Spookie, for getting this off your chest. I hope it goes your way. Seems promising. Tonight he'll likely be back on her chest. This is a repeated process of embracing the feelings, then gradually letting them go - in, out, in, out, until you get this incredible sensation of release.
Storyrider Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Wow, this is almost the best outcome one can possibly imagine. You handled it well; he handled it well. Not creepy at all. I was wrong!!! Hopefully you really do want the transfer though, cause it sounds like you're going to get it. It is hard to tell whether he was smiling in surprise and embarrassment, because his ego was so thoroughly stroked, or because he was picturing you naked. In any event, good job! I'm glad you did it your way.
Dumbledore Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Wow, this is almost the best outcome one can possibly imagine. You handled it well; he handled it well. Not creepy at all. I was wrong!!! Hopefully you really do want the transfer though, cause it sounds like you're going to get it. It is hard to tell whether he was smiling in surprise and embarrassment, because his ego was so thoroughly stroked, or because he was picturing you naked. In any event, good job! I'm glad you did it your way. Don't you just love a happy ending. Nobody is riding into the sunset just yet, but at least we can all sit back and sing songs around the campfire.
confused_2008 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I'm surprised spookie isn't blowing up this thread with her analysis. Maybe she's just mentally exhausted. Good job though, spookie. I bet you feel so much better.
imani Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Don't you just love a happy ending. Nobody is riding into the sunset just yet, but at least we can all sit back and sing songs around the campfire. Kumbaya, anyone? I'll lead off...
Storyrider Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Don't you just love a happy ending. Nobody is riding into the sunset just yet, but at least we can all sit back and sing songs around the campfire. And watch the drama unfold. I sincerely hope this isn't the end. That would be boring.
Dumbledore Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I sincerely hope this isn't the end. Yes, I hope this isn't the end. Or even the beginning of the end. Let's all hope it's just the end of the beginning.
imani Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Yes, I hope this isn't the end. Or even the beginning of the end. Let's all hope it's just the end of the beginning. I'm glad he's being professional and not reacting badly one way or another. He's not leading her on and he's not acting as if she has two heads. It also doesn't appear he is holding any other office drama with the other coworker against her. At the end of the day Spookie, at the very least he knows you like him. Who doesn't like knowing they are liked?
Dumbledore Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Kumbaya, anyone? I'll lead off... Is that a marshmallow on the end of your stick?
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Hmmm this makes me want to tell my boss how I feel but he is married so I guess that is different... BTW excellent job spookie, I'm sure that now he won't be able to get you out of his mind. Good you went with "I'm attracted to you" rather than "I'm in love with you". Also sounds like he never would have initiated anything so this is your only chance. The ball is now in his court.
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