Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 but even the worst case scenario is more appealing to me than just waiting and waiting and waiting. Well there's your answer. As to the rest, you're so funny! I loved it all! But you know you exagerated big time on both sides. I think you know better. Even if the attraction isn't mutual (unlikely) so what? You're embarrassed for a little while...big deal? After that, hold your head high and be proud that you were true to yourself and followed your heart. Go back to being friendly but professional. He'll admire you for it if nothing else. (And you may get higher raises!) So let us know how this goes, ok?
zenith Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 but even the worst case scenario is more appealing to me than just waiting and waiting and waiting. Exactly. Just do it!
Author spookie Posted February 2, 2009 Author Posted February 2, 2009 I sure wish this wasn't happening at work so I could get drunk.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I sure wish this wasn't happening at work so I could get drunk. Hey listen, if I could ask my boss out stone-cold sober you can too! Right after that you can get drunk! No, you want to do this in your right mind. It's real and it's true. It's not clouded. This is WAY healthier than some of your other choices and decisions, spook. Don't you agree?
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I think you should definetly do it. There have been few times where I have told guys how I feel and EVERY SINGLE TIME I was very releived afterwards. Even in the cases when feelings weren't completly recirpocated. Nothing bad really comes from being genuine and true to yourself, it's when you pretend that you are something that you are not when bad stuff happens. This is the mature way to handle this situation and nobody could fault you for speaking up. But I have a strong feeling that you aren't going to be rejected.... It might be easier to tell him via e-mail (I'm a big beleiver in "it's the message that counts and not how it's delivered") but this way you miss out on the look in his eyes and the body language which will give you more clues. Good luck!!!!
johan Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Maybe try not to make such a big deal out of it. Just ask him if he's available and if he'd like to get together. If he says no, then the rest is up to you and doesn't really involve him. If he says yes, then you can go from there. All the transfer stuff is more than required. It may not be necessary to even say it. I think it would make you seem a little over the top. And it will put a lot of pressure on him, which would make me become tentative with you. You don't have to put your job on the line.
D-Lish Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 He doesn't even know how you feel? You've never told him?
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Maybe try not to make such a big deal out of it. Just ask him if he's available and if he'd like to get together. If he says no, then the rest is up to you and doesn't really involve him. If he says yes, then you can go from there. All the transfer stuff is more than required. It may not be necessary to even say it. I think it would make you seem a little over the top. And it will put a lot of pressure on him, which would make me become tentative with you. You don't have to put your job on the line. I agree 10% Forget the transfer stuff. Just put it out there and let the ball be in his court.
jerbear Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Forget the transfer stuff. Just put it out there and let the ball be in his court. He should already have balls in his court. I still say request a transfer and still talk to him.
underpants Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 This has zero to do with this guy. It is all about getting to the next low. When you get there you give yourself permission to do anything, and that is freeing. Spooks, you haven't even exited your previous cycle so you are compounding. Clinically it is rather interesting. You feel so strongly, because on some level you know it is a bonehead move. However, full steam ahead. Paddles ready.
Storyrider Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I really don't think you should present this to him as a deep, heavy issue. If he was just a friend and you approached him this way, it would be creepy. I think it is going to come across as too intense and, as I said, creepy. Why not just say something like, "I've thought more than once of asking you out for a drink, but I know you're my boss and I shouldn't so..." and then pause and see what he says.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Nice to know I have your support. Ooops! Funny! Ok, sorry. You know I meant 100%. Hahaha! Freudian Slip maybe?
shadowplay Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I kind of agree about not bringing up the transfer. Do what Story suggested.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Yep, or just do what I did. One day after work just walk up to him and ask him out for a drink. Say: "Ugh, I really don't feel like going home to my apartment right now. Do you feel like having a drink with me before you head home?" Just do that. I mean you don't have to reveal too much but he'll know you're interested. And if he's not, no biggie. You just say "ok, well have a good night, see you tomorrow." There'd be nothing awkward about that. I mean if he's interested he's not going to turn you down. Trust me. And if he isn't no big deal, right? Just act all casual and normal after that. Like you never asked.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I kind of agree about not bringing up the transfer. Do what Story suggested. Yes. Keep it simple.
Ariadne Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Say: "Ugh, I really don't feel like going home to my apartment right now. Do you feel like having a drink with me before you head home?" Just do that. I mean you don't have to reveal too much I could never pull one of those because by the time it got to that point I'd already know his address, driven by his house, know where he lunches, etc.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I could never pull one of those because by the time it got to that point I'd already know his address, driven by his house, know where he lunches, etc. You're a professional. Do it properly, or not at all. You got my respect.
Ariadne Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 You're a professional. Do it properly, or not at all. You got my respect. Well, it works pretty badly really. When I like a guy I really like him and want to know all about him. So I'm at a disadvantage usually when I meet someone I like because I'm much more invested. I don't become interested in strangers either, it is usually someone I know from a regular basis.
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Well, it works pretty badly really. When I like a guy I really like him and want to know all about him. So I'm at a disadvantage usually when I meet someone I like because I'm much more invested. I don't become interested in strangers either, it is usually someone I know from a regular basis. Yeah me too. I either like a guy to the point of obssesion or not at all. So guys that I like generally get scared off by my intensity. Guys that I don't like would describe me as cold and heartless. Guys that I do like think that I am overly emotional and clingy. I have never been able to have the healthy attitude of "he is kind of nice, let's see where this goes".
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Yep, or just do what I did. One day after work just walk up to him and ask him out for a drink. Say: "Ugh, I really don't feel like going home to my apartment right now. Do you feel like having a drink with me before you head home?" Just do that. I mean you don't have to reveal too much but he'll know you're interested. And if he's not, no biggie. You just say "ok, well have a good night, see you tomorrow." There'd be nothing awkward about that. I mean if he's interested he's not going to turn you down. Trust me. And if he isn't no big deal, right? Just act all casual and normal after that. Like you never asked. This is what I would do.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Today's the day. Crunch time is almost upon us. Will he be sticking his finger in the honey pot? Please stay tuned for the latest developments.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Today's the day. Crunch time is almost upon us. Will he be sticking his finger in the honey pot? Please stay tuned for the latest developments. Honey pot?
Author spookie Posted February 2, 2009 Author Posted February 2, 2009 I did it. I actually did it, my way. I'm still in shock. It turned out well. Update later (still at work and don't have time to write.)
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I could never pull one of those because by the time it got to that point I'd already know his address, driven by his house, know where he lunches, etc. You forgot "bought the binoculars":p:p Spill it spook!!!! I can't wait to hear how it went. I knew it would go well. I just had that feeling. Good for you!
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