lkjh Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Ejc, yes people change but they need motivation to change. If the cheat and do not pay for their mistake, why would they change? Your mentally about this is so wrong. You do not turn your face and pretend its not going on. This idea solves nothing. Being passive does help in situations like this. People change but only after a lot of work Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Johndoe, I would not mess around with these deals. Tell her that you feel undermined and that you DO NOT trust her anymore. She should give you any password that you require. If she rejects the offer please make sure that telephone/car is bugged and that the keyboard already has a keylogger on board. A risky move is to give them a choice divulge or divorce. This does work for folk that have not established a secondary choice. A less risky option is to say that say that you cannot control her movements but that you obviously cannot trust her in her future activities. Do ensure that surveillance equipment is in place. Link to post Share on other sites
leftovers Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 theres no easy way out.....any way you take it, its goona hurt.... Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Sadly, the knock on is inevitably more depression for those left in the wake with regretful memories of a genuine loving relationship destroyed. Why do you think they do it, in the first place? If they're not happy in their own relationship or if they cannot find love altogether, then why not try an destroy someone else's relationship when they start to have problems? Lose-lose my friend, unless you have strong will power. Anyway, hope your wifey comes around. Link to post Share on other sites
merlin2 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 You already said you were working long hours etc to try and provide for your family.That's admirable but with two young kids, your wife has obviously felt the romance going from the relationship.That's NEVER an excuse to do what she did-she should have tried to talk to you before going down the selfish route. Now she has you have to play her at her own game.Let her know you will leave her if you even get a whiff of something going on with another guy,Now is not the time to be forgiving-if you dont lay down the law this will escalate and you better be prepared for it. If she loves you but knows you wont put up with any crap, she will nip this in the bud. Maybe it was her way of getting your attention,you seemed to accept her sleeping in another room, no questions asked.I think the warning signs were there all along. Your wife isn't here to defend herself at the end of the day. Why dont you get a babysitter, sit her down and ask her outright her feelings? Men seem to forget when they are 'out providing' that their partner is at home wanting to be acknowledged.you did it for all the right reasons,I just think there has been a lack of communication here bigtime. I think what has happened is that your wife is sending you a message-pay me some attention, if you dont, someone else will.that's all. Stop being so apathetic to her,show some emotion and get your marriage back on track!She just wants to know you actually care about her.It's a shame as you are so loyal and the rat who's texting her makes her feel good as he's probably a womaniser.Dont forget-making money isnt everything-us women need to know we matter-actions,words, doesnt matter.Romance is highly underestimated! Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Ejc, is right on the money. We're not talking about catching them doing the dirty, just a couple of texts, which she apologized for and promised not to do again. Take her at her word, but be aware. The old saying " forewarned is forearmed". Y Link to post Share on other sites
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