Dreameasy Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I have kind of been dating this girl since last may. We rarely saw eachother since we lived in different towns and were never physical until New Years night, when we had our first kiss. Two weeks later we had sex for the first time. I just don't feel appreciated in this relationship. She calls me two times a day and sends me text messages every few hours. We live in the same town now, so things have been getting serious. We have known eachother for years now, and it was never physical. She dated my room mate my first year of college and we have been friends ever since. We also when to the same elementary school, middle school, and high school; though we were never friends. March she broke up with her boyfriend and we started seeing eachother regularly. I'm head over heels in love with this girl. I tell her about once a month, but only because she has never said it back to me. I have two problems with this. One she still talks to her ex-boyfriend - what I can imagine is about once a week, maybe more. The second problem is if she doesn't love me I don't want to be with her. She is a lot less independant than I am, but I can't help but wonder if she is just using me for sex. I'm willing to walk away from this situation but I know she won't even think about it unless she has some other guy she can run to. I don't really know what to do. Any ideas on the best way to go about telling her I'm not happy with the situation without sounding too insecure? I'm considering just breaking it off - but so close to valentines day seems heartless and my birthday is right after that, the 23rd. I suppose she could return a gift if she has bought one. Any insight or advice would be helpful.
kdark Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I held off on breaking up until after christmas so I could get gifts once... I felt kind of heartless afterwards... But they were really great gifts! Why don't you feel appreciated in the relationship? Is it solely because she doesn't say i love you back? Or is there more? Getting texts from her every couple of hours sounds like something someone would do if they really like you... If you haven't been dating very long, she may feel smothered because things progressed so quickly... She may also just not feel it with you, and is stringing you along. Talk it out with her and find out
norajane Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Why don't you feel appreciated in the relationship? Is it solely because she doesn't say i love you back? Or is there more? Getting texts from her every couple of hours sounds like something someone would do if they really like you... I have the same question. I didn't read anything in your post that would indicate she doesn't appreciate you. I can't help but wonder if she is just using me for sexHow can she be using you for sex when you didn't even have sex until a couple weeks ago? I have kind of been dating this girl since last may. We rarely saw eachother since we lived in different towns I think you're asking for too much when you want her to say I love you. It sounds like you were "dating" long distance and didn't see each other much. It takes time to develop real love. She's not necessarily in love with you yet, although it seems like you two have just gotten started, so give it time. Are you sure you're really even dating? Also, if you're not happy, then you need to talk to her. She's not a mind reader, especially if you don't see each other much.
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I have the same question. I didn't read anything in your post that would indicate she doesn't appreciate you. How can she be using you for sex when you didn't even have sex until a couple weeks ago? I have the same questions. I think you're asking for too much when you want her to say I love you. Are you sure you're really even dating? Agreed. You had your first kiss just weeks ago. How can you expect her to LOVE you yet?? Also, if you're not happy, then you need to talk to her. She's not a mind reader, especially if you don't see each other much. Again, agreed. Given what you've posted, how would she even know you're unhappy??
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