mclovin Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I got divorced about 8 months ago (mid-May 08). My x-h and I remained friends as did our families. We even dated on and off during the summertime, but I decided to move on by dating others, which I was ready to do. However, our friendship remained. Not long after, I was in a relationship again. As mentioned in one of my prior threads, there was an age difference which bothers me (8 yrs he is 21 and I'm 29) eventhough he is VERY mature for his age. My new bf treats me VERY well and is a great best friend and lover. My new bf wants to get married and it wouldn't suprize me if it happened soon with the way he's been talking and acting. Here's the problem though....I still feel the following emotions: 1. I still have momments of saddness about my xhusband. Not to mention our families were close and still are, so certain times like holidays and other related events are difficult. 2. Although I am pleased with how WONDERFUL my current bf is, when he mentions marriage (frequently), I am unsure of what direction I choose to go in the future. This doesn't mean never or definelty, it means more ambivelance towards me making a true commitment. 3. With my current bf, I find myself believing there is some dependancy he feels towards me amongst love. He has the usual insecurities which can be quite annoying at times, but sometimes I feel this from him. 4. if I were single, I'm almost certain I would not want to get back with the ex (as he still wants to reconcile and has not pursued dating or moving on). He was a good guy overall but showed no interest in sex, conversation or anything social (his family even suspected he had borderline Asperger's and it's a possiblity since I teach in that specific field). 5. I have a vision/dream/idea of the "right" person. Not a clairvoyant thing-more of an I know what I want thing, I guess I'm not finding it or seeing it at this point. So are these feelings unusual?????
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 No. All they're telling you is don't get married.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Geisha beat me to it. It sounds like you've already made your decision.
Author mclovin Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Thanks for the advice...that's what I thought, buit was just kinda stumped.
Rebellious Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I got divorced about 8 months ago (mid-May 08). My x-h and I remained friends as did our families. We even dated on and off during the summertime, but I decided to move on by dating others, which I was ready to do. However, our friendship remained. Not long after, I was in a relationship again. As mentioned in one of my prior threads, there was an age difference which bothers me (8 yrs he is 21 and I'm 29) eventhough he is VERY mature for his age. My new bf treats me VERY well and is a great best friend and lover. My new bf wants to get married and it wouldn't suprize me if it happened soon with the way he's been talking and acting. Here's the problem though....I still feel the following emotions: 1. I still have momments of saddness about my xhusband. Not to mention our families were close and still are, so certain times like holidays and other related events are difficult. 2. Although I am pleased with how WONDERFUL my current bf is, when he mentions marriage (frequently), I am unsure of what direction I choose to go in the future. This doesn't mean never or definelty, it means more ambivelance towards me making a true commitment. 3. With my current bf, I find myself believing there is some dependancy he feels towards me amongst love. He has the usual insecurities which can be quite annoying at times, but sometimes I feel this from him. 4. if I were single, I'm almost certain I would not want to get back with the ex (as he still wants to reconcile and has not pursued dating or moving on). He was a good guy overall but showed no interest in sex, conversation or anything social (his family even suspected he had borderline Asperger's and it's a possiblity since I teach in that specific field). 5. I have a vision/dream/idea of the "right" person. Not a clairvoyant thing-more of an I know what I want thing, I guess I'm not finding it or seeing it at this point. So are these feelings unusual????? No, it's very common for girls to think that no guy is good enough for her.
Geishawhelk Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 By girl, you mean Woman. By Guy you mean "boy"? That would be more accurate.... Back atcha....!
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