DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I meant to post this topic in this forum but I posted it in the wrong one. I have a voice in my head that FORCES me to be good and not do bad things. I have the opportunity to cheat on my girlfriend with a very very very beautiful girl but the voice will not allow me to hook up with her this weekend because I am in a relationship. I don't want to tell the beautiful girl "no" though so I am just ignoring her, and I don't feel all that bad about just ignoring her for seemingly no reason. (As in thats what it seems like to her). Is this a conscience? Or was I just cursed with "Good" voices in my head... and the absence of empathy.
Frankasy Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Usually when I come across your situations like having the opportunity to cheat on my gf, I just think of the consequences before I do something or sometimes I just rush and do something without even thinking at all but no voice. Sometimes when I fail somewhere(Usually dating) in my mind I say to myself stuff like "You failed, not good" or "Well going there" and some swear words behind those if that's what you mean.
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 No. The voice is like "No, don't do it. You can't lie to her behind her back. It's not fair." What the **** is the definition of a conscience? Someone describe their conscience.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Is this a conscience? Or was I just cursed with "Good" voices in my head... Neither. A "good voice" would not only tell you to not cheat, but would direct you to tell the other girl that you're in a relationship and not interested in her. and the absence of empathy. This, however, IS true... you've demonstrated as much in your other thread.
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 That makes no sense. If I have no conscience or empathy, I'd gladly cheat without caring because I have the opportunity to. Try again
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 The voice is schizophrenia... It's good that you remained faithful, but my question is why didn't you say no to the beautiful girl Is it because you didn't want to sound rude or impolite and didn't want to potentially ruin the friendship? Or did you not say no because you want to always have that option if things go sour with your current girl friend?
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Combination of things kdark but good observation. I don't want to offend her, probably because I don't want her to disappear forever. Plus I don't want an awkward situation. It's easier to just ignore... it'll have the same outcome. Keeping an open option is something everyone usually does. 90% of people are this way, so I fall under that 90%. Of course having an option if things go sour, isn't unusual
The Collector Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I have a voice in my head It's Satan. Quick, hit him with a hammer.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 You may only do good things in the hopes that someone sees you and tells you "good job, you did the right thing, Tom." And you may avoid doing bad things only out of fear of getting caught... After you turned this girl down, are you going to/ already have told your girlfriend about it? That will give you some insight into why you do good instead of bad...
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 It's Satan. Quick, hit him with a hammer. LMAO. Collector, you are the man.
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 You may only do good things in the hopes that someone sees you and tells you "good job, you did the right thing, Tom." And you may avoid doing bad things only out of fear of getting caught... After you turned this girl down, are you going to/ already have told your girlfriend about it? That will give you some insight into why you do good instead of bad... LOL. So basically I am a psychopath who chooses to do good? That's a pretty awesome combination. And if I was really only concerned with people patting me on the back, I'd never have made this topic, which puts me under fire.
2sunny Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 the "open option" leaves you with the choice to contact her this weekend when you've ignored her all week. men are weak when it comes to women - and you know you will call. ask Lizzie....
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 No, i will not cheat. I cannot do that to my gf even though we've only been official for 11 days. And hey, just because I ask for a definition of a conscience, doesn't mean I don't have one. I'm just curious. And I do not have schizophrenia, I can tell you this for fact. If you notice the DSM in my name, you will notice that I know something of psychology. I do not match even 2 of the many symptoms of schizophrenia. I think this is a conscience, and I just want to dissect it and see your opinions. Not trying to label myself with a cluster A-C disorder.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I never said you were a psychopath, even if we do disagree on abortion... As you would say, 90% of the population does good because they like the praise they receive when they are seen doing good things. How many people actually donate to charity's anonymously, without the intent of writing it off as a tax break? Not many i would presume... Does that undermine the fact that they still donated? I don't think so... And how many people volunteer at soup kitchen's because it makes them feel good inside? A lot. They are still getting something out volunteering, just not material. Does that make them any less compassionate? I personally dont think so. I only posed those questions so you could try to see for yourself your motivation in turning down the beautiful girl. In the end, you DID turn her down, and you should be proud of that.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I was only joking with the schizo comment... Sorry to offend. I shouldve put a smiley next to it, but its really hard to on the iphone...
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Thank you for your opinions and insight kdark. You are a cool person and I like reading your replies a lot. You speak the truth. I don't know where you got the 90% of the population does good things just for praise, though. I think 90% of the population hides a lot of their real feelings in fear of being negatively judged, whereas on the other hand I just say it and don't give a ****. (Which is reminiscent to what Eminem does). I think a lot of people really are good and do good because they want to. I've done good things knowing full well no one would ever know. Like I peed on a toilet seat at college and knew someone would have to wipe it off if I didn't. So I wiped it off. They would've never known it was me, but I was empathetic enough for that person, that I did it for them. Lol. I did it without thinking, but after I did it I dissected my actions. The fact I keep dissecting things is driving me insane and making me question everything, both good and bad. Someone put me on meds for dissection of introspection.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 the "open option" leaves you with the choice to contact her this weekend when you've ignored her all week. men are weak when it comes to women - and you know you will call. ask Lizzie.... Every man has a code. I won't EVER cheat. I was in the exact same situation as Tom. I had a two week old relationship, i was really drunk, and a girl who could have been a model wanted to pull me alone into her room to have sex. I turned her down. I think Tom would agree with me on this.
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Damn kdark you're my boy. Clearly we both have morals. I follow my morals so heavily that it's a fault.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I believe the majority of the population does good things because of a fear or being judged, whether by parents, spouses, or god, or whoever, and because it is a simple fact that it is easier to live in a good world than a bad world. The toilet seat thing sounds like you did it because you wouldn't want to have clean something like that up yourself, so you empathized with the person who would have to clean it up, and did it yourself... The golden rule we all learned in kindergarten, "treat others how you want to be treated" is my moral compass for most situations...
Author DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Very wise words. btw, kdark you spoke of your crazy ex's. That's your biz, but if you ever kill 'em, I'll show you where the ocean is.
kdark Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I've done a lot of growing up in the last two years, and have had a lot of time for reflection on my actions...
Green Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 For so much of my life I had no gf at all. I would go through life like some lone wolf any time a girl would come into my life it was usually quick, not much sex and no love. Well I also recently started dating a girl and we've grown close fairly quick. And it is so great to be getting laid on a regular basis and to have an attractive girl in my life who enjoys spending time with me. I was on the internet just being stupid, saw a girl who I had liked and it said "blank" is now in a relationship... So for who knows what stupid reason I decided to send her a msg saying congrats on getting into a relationship... well one thing led to another and it turns out shes broken up with that guy and now wants us to hang out this weekend said she'd send me a txt where shed be and asked for my number and I gave it to her. In my case the reason I will most likely not do this isn't about being good. Its about whats right for me, and seriously I don't need the stress of worying about what might happen with me and my gf who I like just for the potential fun I could have with a hot girl... I'm not the kind of guy who can just cheat on a girl. In fact I think its imposible for me to cheat unless of course you count what I already did as cheating... but seriously I shouldn't have to yell I have a gf I have a gf any time I talk to some one
MN randomguy Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I have a voice in my head that FORCES me to be good and not do bad things..... Is this a conscience? Or was I just cursed with "Good" voices in my head... and the absence of empathy. Yep, you have a conscience. Is this the first time you've heard it?? I don't understand the absence of empathy comment. So, this chick wants to get laid, she's hot. She's probably found some other dude. I don't think you've shattered her world. If this is the first time she's been rejected and it makes her think, well, now she can think about what life is going to be like in 30 years and her looks are gone. I don't know where you got the 90% of the population does good things just for praise, though. I think 90% of the population hides a lot of their real feelings in fear of being negatively judged, whereas on the other hand I just say it and don't give a ****. (Which is reminiscent to what Eminem does). I think a lot of people really are good and do good because they want to. I've done good things knowing full well no one would ever know. Like I peed on a toilet seat at college and knew someone would have to wipe it off if I didn't. So I wiped it off. They would've never known it was me, but I was empathetic enough for that person, that I did it for them. Lol. I did it without thinking, but after I did it I dissected my actions. The fact I keep dissecting things is driving me insane and making me question everything, both good and bad. Someone put me on meds for dissection of introspection. 1. About the 90% comment. 70% of statistics are made-up on the spot. I'd like to see references to scientific research on that one. 2. Telling this girl that you think she's attractive, but you're just too much of a sensitive guy to get with her. Would be social suicide. This is why you're avoiding her. Can't say yes. Can't say no. Some day you'll commit to a path and either tell women like her yes or no. You're not crazy until you reply to the voice. Of course if you do, maybe you'll get an answer. "Who are you" "I'm your mutha f*ck'n conscience!":cool:
Rebellious Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I'd say it's your personality, with some honor and good upbringing thrown in. I always try to do the right thing no matter what others think. The ultimate test is if you'll do the right thing even when it is against your personal self-interest to do so. Your new girlfriend just struck gold.
Trimmer Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 That makes no sense. If I have no conscience or empathy, I'd gladly cheat without caring because I have the opportunity to. Sure, but that doesn't prove the converse: that NOT cheating demonstrates a conscience. The choice to not cheat could well be out of pure self-interest. "If I cheat, I'll likely lose what I have, so for the moment, the equation to maximize my own return falls on the side of not cheating." Now notice I said could. My point is that not cheating doesn't prove a conscience one way or the other. It could be that you have a conscience, or you could still lack one, but have decided not to screw up your current relationship. Not the same thing. I am still very interested in why you didn't "tell the beautiful girl 'no'..." I tend to agree with this: A "good voice" would not only tell you to not cheat, but would direct you to tell the other girl that you're in a relationship and not interested in her. Not wanting to tell her 'no' sounds like you're keeping your options open, which would be consistent with making decisions based primarily on self-interest, and not very convincing evidence that you are standing on principle or being guided by "conscience." So what does that say about your conscience?
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