sweetmind20 Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 i could use an opinion here. my boyfriend and i have been together for two years. we are in our early twenties. (he is 22 and i am 21). we love each other very much. we have been through many ups and downs but we have still worked through things. after a major break-up after losing our baby, we got back together a couple months ago. he just asked me to move in with him, and he's talking non-stop about having a family. we have a great sex life and we get along great. but he hasn't asked me to marry him. i didn't want to bring up the subject just yet because we were in the process of reconciliation but now that he is bringing up the living arrangements and kids aspect, i have to pause and wonder. he asked me to marry him about a year and half ago, but we were young and not ready so that quickly fell by the wayside. now that we are more mature and have been together longer, i think the prospect of marriage is good. i want to. taking everything into account, do you think my moving in with him would be like the saying "why buy the cow when the milk is free"? or is this talk about starting a family a guy's way of saying i want to cement this relationship? i could use some advice. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 gosh, i just really feel that there is a lack of communication in your current situation. i think when it comes to family and wedding and moving in together, you could be more sure. the fact that you are unsure about this worries me. why does he want to move in together if you two are still reconciling? i think you need to ask him what his goals are here and why he is pushing so hard for a family. are you two secure in your financial situation? does he consider that or is all he wants is a kid and thinks of nothing else- he might want to think of sleepless nights, bills, sickness and the stress it can put on both of you. sure there are many great things, but this dude seems kind of impulsive. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 maybe he thinks you're on the same page as him, and that marriage is the next natural step in your relationship? You need to ask him/talk with him about this, instead of try to second-guess what he means. you'll save yourself a lot of grief with a direct line of questions, I don't think he'd be put out about them. my condolences upon losing your baby ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetmind20 Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 thank you for your help everyone! i really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetmind20 Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 the thing is, i asked him about marriage and he says he loves me but there are no guarantees in life. that made me feel like crap actually. he does have trust issues, and his parents just recently went through a horrible divorce, so he hasn't had any really good examples of a healthy marriage. i know that may sound like a poor excuse. i don't know what else to say. i love this person, and i am aware that he has self-esteem issues.. but having shared a point in my life in which i did create a child with him, made me aware of just how much i care for him , and want him in my life. he was thinking of buying a two bedroom house, but then paused and asked me if i thought it was enough room because what if there was more than one kid. he has said things like that to me that make me think he is planning on a family with me. i know one should be able to communicate with their partner. .. i guess i'm just scared. i lost the baby, and i don't want to lose him, too. anyway, thanks again you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
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