Brady_to_Moss Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Thats how i feel right now. I always have to make the first contact with her in the day and what not..shouldnt the girl do some of it? I have a feeling she doesnt like me anymore so that could always be it to.
movingonandon Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Depends how serious you are dating. If you're already going steady - hell yeah, bitch should call you every once in a while . If not, then you can't expect too much contact from her. And it is a *good* thing (would you prefer the other extreme, the "where is this relationship going" stuff?). The girl I'm dating right now almost never calls me (though emails or texts occasionally). Under other circumstances that would have irritated me, but since I'm not looking for anything particularly serious with her right now, the current system works just fine for now.
sid3 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 It all comes boils down to her interest level. That's it. Not whether she's shy, playing hard to get etc. It's all a crock of sh*t. The bottom line is when someone is equally interested they'll make the same efforts as you are making. Sure I agree, it is the man's job to intitiate in the beginning, but after that if you find yourself having to chase (always intitiate contact) then you'd be wise to move on. When a person shows interest but makes little to no effort, IMO they are trying to maintain the control/power. Screw that. Find a girl that is wicked into you instead. You'll see the difference instantly. Not only will you be happier, you'll avoid the mindshagging that comes with the head games some people can't help but play. Don't forget that regardless of what you see on the outside, inside she could be emotionally unhealthy= bad for you. If I remember correctly, your at the age where you have more options now than you'll ever have.My best advice would be to only invest emotionally what you feel your getting in return.
runner Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 i don't think it's anyones job. dating should be fun and communicating shouldn't feel like a chore. my rule of thumb is to show interest, match her level of interest (more or less), and not be in her face all the time. now if i started to get the impression that i was always the one making the effort, i'll start thinking that she just isn't that into me and i'll go be flirty with someone else.
Confusedalways Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Depends how serious you are dating. If you're already going steady - hell yeah, bitch should call you every once in a while . If not, then you can't expect too much contact from her. And it is a *good* thing (would you prefer the other extreme, the "where is this relationship going" stuff?). I definitely agree with this. I would need to know how serious you guys are before I determine whether or not she should be contacting you.
carhill Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 It appears to be one intense high energy month of dating, mostly on the part of the OP. Read his past threads. All the info is there. My bet is she's worn out. I'm high energy and I'd be worn out. It's the holidays OP. Give it a rest
Sw3etdev1L Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 I can project, I am like that... I don't like calling boys so much...not if there is not still a lot of trust. why? because I don't want to seem, I am already fallen forthis guy, I am measuring his interest in me...If he calls me, a lot!.. then I might call him, or if he says that he wishes me to call him more, then I'll do it, and I'll know...it's cause there0s some guys who don't like them to be called after so much because they start feeling trapped, some like it, some don't...she doesn't know which type of boy you are.
silverbunny Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 my ex never called me cuz he didn't like talking on the phone. i settled for texts, msn, and seeing/talking in person. so i think it has some to do with personal liking for contacting. i wish he woulda called me but a) i live in a valley and calls drop frequently and it got very old talking with calls dropping left and right and b) he said when there was nothing to talk about he got upset... why i don't know. so that's what i think. but i do think communication should go both ways. otherwise it seems like one is more attatchy/clingy than the other.
Star Gazer Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 It appears to be one intense high energy month of dating, mostly on the part of the OP. Read his past threads. All the info is there. My bet is she's worn out. I'm high energy and I'd be worn out. It's the holidays OP. Give it a rest I wouldn't even call it intense for HER, just the self-proclaimed "obsessive" OP. I don't think she's worn out, I don't think she was really into it to begin with (hence why she didn't want to be his GF) and has tried to ween him off contact. "The fade away."
carhill Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Gauge better; pursue less .... Perhaps, let the inspiration (the energy of your interest and attraction) speak in other parts of your life Test S_G's hypothesis: go silent.
xjadex Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I can project, I am like that... I don't like calling boys so much...not if there is not still a lot of trust. why? because I don't want to seem, I am already fallen forthis guy, I am measuring his interest in me...If he calls me, a lot!.. then I might call him, or if he says that he wishes me to call him more, then I'll do it, and I'll know...it's cause there0s some guys who don't like them to be called after so much because they start feeling trapped, some like it, some don't...she doesn't know which type of boy you are. I'm the same. I like to measure the interest in me. And if he's calling or texting a lot, then I know there is interest. I reciprocate his interest, by always picking up and replying to his texts and sending the occasional text that lets him know I'm thinking of him. I only show as much interest, as he's showing in me. I know that the guy I'm involved with however, has said that it's always him texting or calling...and says I never call or text him hardly. But some of my texts to him do go unanswered and I tend to back off when anything goes unanswered and I will await him contacting me...which he always does eventually.
kashmir Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I'm the same. I like to measure the interest in me. And if he's calling or texting a lot, then I know there is interest. I reciprocate his interest, by always picking up and replying to his texts and sending the occasional text that lets him know I'm thinking of him. I only show as much interest, as he's showing in me. I know that the guy I'm involved with however, has said that it's always him texting or calling...and says I never call or text him hardly. But some of my texts to him do go unanswered and I tend to back off when anything goes unanswered and I will await him contacting me...which he always does eventually. This is understandable, but let me say something from a guy's perspective. I don't want to come off as too desperate or needy, and in my mind at least, me always having to initiate calls/texts and keeping them going is investing a bit too much effort into one girl. The only girl I've ever contacted daily is a very good friend. Even if I was madly attracted to a girl I'd only contact her once every few days at the most, and usually just for a minute to say hi. I don't mind initiating, but if I'm doing it the first 3, 4, or 5 times with minimal response from her then I assume she isn't interested and will cut off contact. If I call or text and she doesn't answer then I usually won't call again and will even delete her number to seal the deal.
510 Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 When a girl sees herself as a woman, confident and does not get caught up in what others think, she won't mind calling. As a woman I'm still unclear why certain women still play that game.. I find it more with those who are fairly young, early 20's because they are not comfortable with who they are and are still caught up in role definition. Men, love to get attention as well and they love to know that someone cares about them. The phone calls, as well as paying for dates should be reciprocated. 510
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 I wouldn't even call it intense for HER, just the self-proclaimed "obsessive" OP. I don't think she's worn out, I don't think she was really into it to begin with (hence why she didn't want to be his GF) and has tried to ween him off contact. "The fade away." I know how you feel...Dont have to repeat yourself every time i post with something. I am not listening so why bother with me?
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