would you befriend a fat person?

[daisydufas22]

For me, it was actually worse being friends with overweight/obese women. What a sleazy manipulative bunch. They tried to take advantage of me. I avoid the single, divorced, and disgruntled variey like the plague.

I sincerely believe overweight/obese is a mental issue, and I try to avoid negative people when possible.

 

I never had a problem with the happily married ones.

 

Trying to get a reaction from me, huh? Well, well done for NOT reading my WHOLE POST.....

[nana yaw II]

I am just going to be honest. I expect not too many people will appericate this

 

1. Yes, I would be friends with a 'fat' person. However, I would be cautious!

 

2. I have been friends with overweight/obese people and it's always been the same story..... they become jealous! The last person asked me to help her lose weight (NOTE: I did NOT bring up the topic) and I said yes. She claimed that she could not join a gym cause of the cost....I paid for a year membership for her and guess what? She does not want to go anymore. She gave up after weeks.

 

I used to be obese....I am now 17% body fat, so I hold nothing against large people. However, (like I was) most THAT I HAVE COME ACROSS eat their feelings and are insecure. It can drain a friendship and then there's the whole jealously thing!

 

I am NOT saying all obese people ...... I am saying those I have developed friendships with and how I USED to be!

 

Hence, I would be friends with a overweight/obese person because NOT all overweight/obese people are like that.....I just have not meet the ones that aren't like that yet.

 

3. Strange but true..... I find overweight guys more attractive than normal weight guys!

 

All obese persons have issues of envy and resentment.

 

I think in US society, obese persons are despised and detested, and for good reason. No one wants to associate with another who is so weak and jealous. Jealousy from obese persons towards the skinny is a sign of being mentally subnormal.

[Lizzie60]

I think in US society, obese persons are despised and detested, and for good reason. No one wants to associate with another who is so weak and jealous. Jealousy from obese persons towards the skinny is a sign of being mentally subnormal.

 

Ouch!!!! I wouldn't go as far as saying that overweight people are despised and detested.. Most of Americans would be..

 

I agree though (and experiments were done) that obese people do not get the same treatment in society as fit people do.

 

I agree that most obese do have emotional issues, self-confidence problems, envy (sometimes).

 

I have a friend (walking buddy, not really a friend) who is overweight.. I have some problems with her.. but I tend to avoid discussions about her issues.. I have no patience anymore with 'weak' people, especially when they know their weaknesses and don't do a thing about them.

[Phateless]

I'd known some people say that being fat brings negative energy to others. And that being fat means others would look down on them since they overeat or don't care about themselves. Do most people choose not to befriend fat people?

 

I'm an active and physical person. I would be friendly and I could enjoy hanging out in certain circumstances, but I don't think we'd have much in common since I'm a health/exercise nut.

[nana yaw II]

 

Ouch!!!! I wouldn't go as far as saying that overweight people are despised and detested.. Most of Americans would be..

 

 

i think they are. i'd think that slim people have more friends and get more dates in general.

[You'reasian]

I'd known some people say that being fat brings negative energy to others. And that being fat means others would look down on them since they overeat or don't care about themselves. Do most people choose not to befriend fat people?

 

This is a silly question.

 

I don't care how fat someone is. When it comes to friendship, character matters the most. As does interpersonal reaction - do you share interests? Can you get along? Can you laugh - at each other?

[nana yaw II]

This is a silly question.

 

I don't care how fat someone is. When it comes to friendship, character matters the most. As does interpersonal reaction - do you share interests? Can you get along? Can you laugh - at each other?

 

why is it silly?

 

prejudice against fat people is common for a reason.

[You'reasian]

 

prejudice against fat people is common for a reason.

 

Yes.

 

People are visual and being fat is not really the thing right now, although in some circles "curvy" is - that is large (not obese) but carrying the weight well and people know when they are curvy versus fat.

 

The answer to the question falls on you.

 

Are you going to judge someone who has a weight problem as someone unworthy of your friendship?

[nana yaw II]

Yes.

 

People are visual and being fat is not really the thing right now, although in some circles "curvy" is - that is large (not obese) but carrying the weight well and people know when they are curvy versus fat.

 

The answer to the question falls on you.

 

Are you going to judge someone who has a weight problem as someone unworthy of your friendship?

 

yes. I see no reason why i should not.

[RecordProducer]

It wouldn't bother me one bit. However, it might bother the overweight friend that I am thinner than she is or if it's a guy, that I am not interested in him. I've dealt with girlfriends' jealousy for many years, so this is a big issue to me. If a woman is jealous of my looks or anything related to my life, and if I have a gut feeling about this (which I've learned to discern in no time), I would have a problem. But if I have a fat friend who is a lovely person and treats me nicely - absolutely I would love their company! Their weight is their business, unless they try to impose their weight problem on me and hate ME for their own obstacles. Nonetheless, I am not prejudiced about this and I would give the friendship an equal try as I would with any other individual. I speak in conditional tense ("would") because I've only lived in the US for less than three years and don't really have any friends here. In Europe, obese people are very rare.

[Taramere]

In Europe, obese people are very rare.

 

Don't know about that, RP. I think there are a lot of myths there. You get these books all about how to eat like a French woman, French Women Don't Get Fat etc...then when you visit the rural areas of France you see fatties waddling all over the place.

 

It's maybe a higher class of fat, though. Brie and wine induced rather than brought on by millions of Big Mac meals. I'm going to write a book called "How to get fat like a Frenchwoman. Mon Dieu! I carry a few extra kilos it is true, but this meat on me is of the highest quality. When I die, I donate my body to the best culinary academy in France so that students may practice their carving skills on my body."

 

Re the subject....I have a few friends who are overweight. One lost a whole load of weight recently and is looking fantastic. Another one was delicately gorgeous when she was a teen, and I get a pang when I look at her now. I wish she'd make a bit of effort to lose weight, but food is too important to her - and I'd never tell her she should diet. She's not an idiot. She knows she's overweight, but it obviously doesn't bother her enough to do something about it, and if she's happy to live with it then it's none of my business.

 

I don't think I would want to get romantically involved with a grossly obese man, but never say never. With everyone having to tighten their belts, fat may soon become a symbol of great status and beauty soon. When most of us are creeping around like Ethiopians in the height of the drought season, enormous people who currently need cranes to lift them out of bed might well be having the last laugh.

[RecordProducer]

Don't know about that, RP. I think there are a lot of myths there.

Oh, trust me there are not myths. I was born and have lived in several European countries for 30 years. I see more obese people here in one hour at the mall than I've seen in my entire life in Europe. In Europe, probably over 95% of people under the age of 25 are skinny. When I first came to the United States, I couldn't stop looking at the severe obesity that I had never ever seen before - and especially not in such large number.

 

So don't think those are myths. I've noticed though that in Manhattan people in the streets are mostly slim, so if you live there, you might have a clear picture of the rest of America. I am in Philly.

[norajane]

Oh, trust me there are not myths. I was born and have lived in several European countries for 30 years. I see more obese people here in one hour at the mall than I've seen in my entire life in Europe. In Europe, probably over 95% of people under the age of 25 are skinny. When I first came to the United States, I couldn't stop looking at the severe obesity that I had never ever seen before - and especially not in such large number.

 

So don't think those are myths. I've noticed though that in Manhattan people in the streets are mostly slim, so if you live there, you might have a clear picture of the rest of America. I am in Philly.

 

Young people in Europe are skinny. Some are way too skinny, like undernourished skinny. But they all seem to pack on some pounds as they age. By the time they're in their 60's, there are lots of rotund Europeans. However, you hardly ever see morbidly obese Europeans. And you rarely see any fat teenagers and young adults, very, very rare.

 

When I lived in San Francisco, I didn't see so many obese people as I do in the Midwest.

[You'reasian]

yes. I see no reason why i should not.

 

Then why start this thread. You've already decided that you choose not to associate with fat people. That's your preference, perhaps this is a normal thing where you are?

[nana yaw II]

Oh, trust me there are not myths. I was born and have lived in several European countries for 30 years. I see more obese people here in one hour at the mall than I've seen in my entire life in Europe. In Europe, probably over 95% of people under the age of 25 are skinny. When I first came to the United States, I couldn't stop looking at the severe obesity that I had never ever seen before - and especially not in such large number.

 

So don't think those are myths. I've noticed though that in Manhattan people in the streets are mostly slim, so if you live there, you might have a clear picture of the rest of America. I am in Philly.

 

i was born in the UK and lived there until recently and obesity rates there are quite high. it's a worldwide phenomenon.

[Taramere]

So don't think those are myths. I've noticed though that in Manhattan people in the streets are mostly slim, so if you live there, you might have a clear picture of the rest of America. I am in Philly.

 

I'm in Europe. My feeling is that in the nice parts of cities all over the world you see slim people, but once you move towards the outskirts and the poorer areas you get a truer picture. For that reason I suppose I'm less equipped to comment on Americans, as I've tended (in my visits there) to visit cities.

 

From what other people have described, I understand that the phenomenon of people being so large that they can barely leave their beds and are therefore classified as disabled is more common in the US. Whereas in Europe I'd agree with Norajane that it's more a case of a lot of people carrying a bit of extra weight but nothing life threatening. And more in the Mediterannean countries (ie the phenomenon of people being skinny and delicate when they're younger, but becoming round with age).

 

A gym instructor told me last night that in his view most people are obese. I said I was surprised as I don't feel, when I'm walking round town, that the majority of people are noticeably fat. He said the key is "noticeably". That many people disguise it very well with clothes - and that they might just classify themselves as a little overweight, whereas he would categorise them as obese. But he's training himself to avoid using the word obese on the basis that it's counterproductive. Telling someone they're obese is liable to demoralise them and result in them going home and comfort eating.

 

I agree with that perspective. My gym's friendly and laid back, which makes it easier for people who might be really intimidated by gyms to take that first step towards losing weight. People need friendly encouragement to take that first step towards losing weight, rather than feeling that they'll have to run a gauntlet of intense ridicule the moment they try to do anything about it (eg by going to a gym or a swimming pool, or jogging round the park).

 

I think the airbrushed media images of beautiful models and celebrities don't help. If someone weighs 200 pounds and they're presented with endless visions of impossible beauty, they're more likely to think "I'm never going to be even close to looking like that - so why bother at all?"

 

Women's health and fitness magazines (the ones here in the UK at least) seem very clued into that. They tend to use models who are attractive, slim and healthy - but not impossible looking. People who look real, and who emanate an aura of achievable beauty. I think a bit more of that in the media would motivate people to be healthy.

 

As it is, the emphasis on beauty requiring plastic surgery, fad diets, liposuction etc probably alienates some people to the extent that they just opt out and comfort themselves with food.

[Kasan]

When you judge and choose not to associate with someone based on their looks, you lose an opportunity to meet someone who could enrich and/or challenge how you live your life.

 

Everyone, everyone has something of value to contribute. Why limit your life experiences?

[nana yaw II]

Then why start this thread. You've already decided that you choose not to associate with fat people. That's your preference' date=' perhaps this is a normal thing where you are?[/quote']

 

I think it's a normal thing in society.

[nana yaw II]

When you judge and choose not to associate with someone based on their looks, you lose an opportunity to meet someone who could enrich and/or challenge how you live your life.

 

Everyone, everyone has something of value to contribute. Why limit your life experiences?

 

all persons hold the right to associate with whom they choose, and on any reason they choose. moreover, we also hold the right to determine how we live our lives and what "life experiences" we choose to experience or engage in. Some persons choose to travel the world while others don't, yet many people are happy by "limiting" their life experiences in this way. Some may not have the means to travel. Others may feel travelling is not for them. Others still may not even care.

 

I just don't like fat people. It sounds bad, but that's just how I perceive things. As aforementioned, I hold the right to choose with whom to associate and what i want to do with my life.

[Kasan]

all persons hold the right to associate with whom they choose, and on any reason they choose. moreover, we also hold the right to determine how we live our lives and what "life experiences" we choose to experience or engage in. Some persons choose to travel the world while others don't, yet many people are happy by "limiting" their life experiences in this way. Some may not have the means to travel. Others may feel travelling is not for them. Others still may not even care.

 

I just don't like fat people. It sounds bad, but that's just how I perceive things. As aforementioned, I hold the right to choose with whom to associate and what i want to do with my life.

 

Of course, you are correct in your right to associate with whomever you wish..... or not.

 

Why do I feel that we have "been there and done that" in society? The concept of what you embrace, sounds eerily familiar.........KKK, Gay bashing, and ahhh yes, the skinheads.

 

I sincerely hope that you never become, what you so dislike and shun. You could find yourself on the outside looking in.

[nana yaw II]

Of course, you are correct in your right to associate with whomever you wish..... or not.

 

Why do I feel that we have "been there and done that" in society? The concept of what you embrace, sounds eerily familiar.........KKK, Gay bashing, and ahhh yes, the skinheads.

 

i don't understand this point.

I sincerely hope that you never become, what you so dislike and shun. You could find yourself on the outside looking in.

 

i guess absolute certainty doesn't exist...

[wierdmunky]

all persons hold the right to associate with whom they choose, and on any reason they choose. moreover, we also hold the right to determine how we live our lives and what "life experiences" we choose to experience or engage in. Some persons choose to travel the world while others don't, yet many people are happy by "limiting" their life experiences in this way. Some may not have the means to travel. Others may feel travelling is not for them. Others still may not even care.

 

I just don't like fat people. It sounds bad, but that's just how I perceive things. As aforementioned, I hold the right to choose with whom to associate and what i want to do with my life.

 

 

That's alright I guess. Although I'm not on the bandwagon on hating obese people. What if you were obese, what IF, and all the people that hated on you were suddenly your friend when you lost all that weight. It's just as superficial.

[BobSacamento]

I used to be fat. So yes. In fact I would have been my own bestfriend.

[lino]

some of my friends are fat, but like someone else said it depends on what you consider to be 'fat'

I make friends with those who are friendly with me and care about me, I don't care whether or not they're fat, skinny, well-built, etc

I'm much more concerned that my own physique stays in good shape.

[whichwayisup]

To be honest, I would rather be around heftier people that are kind hearted, nice and fun than be with a group of skinny folks who are snobs and materialistic. I prefer people who have the same values as me, looks and size don't matter to me when it comes to friendships.