Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

November 23, 2008

Well, for one, it's a high risk STD scenario. No matter how well you armour yourself, nothing's foolproof. Sure, there are women who aren't hookers where the risk is also high. But...it's fact that your average hooker has done way more men, than your average woman, therefore, you're playing russian roulett...for what?

So you have to ask yourself, why would you be willing to go where every man has gone before?

There are guys on the hooker boards who admit to have had bare anal sex with a hooker with no condom and there are guys who have performed oral ON a hooker

It is my opinion that guys can get so horny that they can for one brief moment lose all common sense... They would even risk their own life for one moment of gratification, most cannot control themselves.

November 23, 2008

I don't believe I have any special powers because I have a pussy. I do believe that sex is for enjoyment, and frankly, a guy in a ONS isn't likely to get me off, as that's been my experience. They don't know my body well enough, and they're too much in a rush to get theirs. Which is why I stopped indulging in "just sex" ONS's back in college. Guilt has nothing to do with it. So stop speaking for me and all the other women who can't be bothered to waste their time with dude who isn't capable of getting us off. And that's where I DO feel empowered - I don't have to settle for crappy sex.

And, that's exactly why men who frequent hookers are sooooo unappealing. They go because when they pay for it, the sex is all about them, and has little or nothing to do with wanting to please a woman or being a sex connoisseur. Why would I find a guy like that appealing?

In my entire life, from my ONS's to my marriage, I've NEVER been with a man who was in "too much of a rush to get theirs" to take the time to get me off. Ever. That's why I tend to believe Lizzie when she says men are "caring" - at least during the sexual act.

But I'm also leaning with cutegirl about the saying, "They pay hookers to walk away when they're done."

I believe that men are typically very generous in bed. And very stingy out of it, if they detect any emotional dependencies in the woman forming toward them afterwards. They like it cut and dried.

And that may be the bottom-line draw for them, toward prostitutes.

November 23, 2008

There are guys on the hooker boards who admit to have had bare anal sex with a hooker with no condom and there are guys who have performed oral ON a hooker

It is my opinion that guys can get so horny that they can for one brief moment lose all common sense... They would even risk their own life for one moment of gratification, most cannot control themselves.

cutegirl, that's assumptive. Not every man has impulse control issues. Sure, there are men like that, sure, there are men who get stinking drunk and lose control. But...there are men who aren't like that. It takes all kinds.

November 23, 2008

I don't believe I have any special powers because I have a pussy. I do believe that sex is for enjoyment, and frankly, a guy in a ONS isn't likely to get me off, as that's been my experience. They don't know my body well enough, and they're too much in a rush to get theirs. Which is why I stopped indulging in "just sex" ONS's back in college. Guilt has nothing to do with it. So stop speaking for me and all the other women who can't be bothered to waste their time with dude who isn't capable of getting us off. And that's where I DO feel empowered - I don't have to settle for crappy sex.

And, that's exactly why men who frequent hookers are sooooo unappealing. They go because when they pay for it, the sex is all about them, and has little or nothing to do with wanting to please a woman or being a sex connoisseur. Why would I find a guy like that appealing?

Fair enough (and I didn't want to get personal). but a quick analysis of all the response to this thread will make glaringly obvious two pronounced trends:

- the majority of the guys here admit that the most appealing part of hookers is jut the no hassle sex, that's it

- if you read women's posts however, they are all peppered with accusations of guys wanting control and power etc.

So i can't help it by ask myself how come it is the women that view this in terms of power and control? This is an anonimous forum. There is no need for me to pretend that i don't like "power" if that's what I was after. Maybe women are indeed concerned about the obvious fact that the availability of hookers does diminish their ability to manipulate men with sex? So yes, it is empowering, but only in a sense that I do not feel compelled to put up with any **** from the women I contemplate dating in hopes of getting "some" eventually. I want to be in a good, real, relationship, and when I am in one, I'm the most faithful guy around. But when I'm not in one, i appreciate the opportunity of not having the pressure to go through all the courting rituals just to have sex. When i do go through them, it is because i want something more than just sex. So there you have it.

November 23, 2008

Everyone makes choices in their lives. I could easily get into a pissing match with you about everything but I won't.

I'm expressing my views on men who want or need hookers. You're welcome to internalize that or not.

Yes but my point is .. you don't know what you're talking about..

Have you ever talk to a guy who used a prostitute.. have you ever been with a guy who used a prostitute ... of course you don't know that..

You also don't how these men act with prostitute.. unless you WERE there...

I know what I'm talking about.. that's the difference...

I laugh when I see people argumenting about a subject they have no idea what they're talking about.. unless someone has been a parent, they can't know how a parent feels or how they can raise their children.. unless someone has been sexually abused, they can't say how a victim feels.. therefore their advice has not much weight.. unless you've been cheated, someone can't tell how the BS feels.. this goes for ALL subjects..

November 23, 2008

Maybe women are indeed concerned about the obvious fact that the availability of hookers does diminish their ability to manipulate men with sex? .

Why do I see this attitude over and over again from some posters on LS?

Honestly, how many women view sex as a means of manipulation? Some, yes, but I would venture to say that most of us do not view sex through that lens. Sex is fun, sex is the glue in a relationship, sex is good for you. A healthy sex life makes you happier.

A lot of men here seem to be obsessed with women using sex as tool for manipulation. I just don't see that as the dominant reason we like sex.

November 23, 2008

- the majority of the guys here admit that the most appealing part of hookers is jut the no hassle sex, that's it
- if you read women's posts however, they are all peppered with accusations of guys wanting control and power etc.

So i can't help it by ask myself how come it is the women that view this in terms of power and control?

But aren't the two really the same thing? YOU are the one calling the shots in the hooker encounter. YOU dictate that it's just no-hassle sex. When you pay, you dictate the terms of the relationship. Just like my boss at work dictates our professional relationship and the tasks I perform... all strictly because he's paying my salary. I gotta do what he says, or I lose my job.

I want to be in a good, real, relationship, and when I am in one, I'm the most faithful guy around.

Well, no offense, and I don't want to get personal here, but that's really not very comforting, considering the high incidence of infidelity in general.

November 23, 2008

Well, for one, it's a high risk STD scenario. No matter how well you armour yourself, nothing's foolproof. Sure, there are women who aren't hookers where the risk is also high. But...it's fact that your average hooker has done way more men, than your average woman, therefore, you're playing russian roulett...for what?

So you have to ask yourself, why would you be willing to go where every man has gone before?

Actually, the prevalense of STDs among prostitutes (and HIV) is no higher than the prevalence among women in the general population. Sure, I've thought about the risk, but the worst you could get is probably herpes, and 25% of the population has it anyway. moreover, I would think that precisely because these girls are in "this line of work", they'd be particularly festidious about sexual health. Most hookers would cut your d**k off before even contemplating having sex with no protection...

As for going where everybody has been... It's rather easy not to think about it, all i see is a girl having sex with me

November 23, 2008

Yes but my point is .. you don't know what you're talking about..

Have you ever talk to a guy who used a prostitute.. have you ever been with a guy who used a prostitute ... of course you don't know that..

You also don't how these men act with prostitute.. unless you WERE there...

I know what I'm talking about.. that's the difference...

I laugh when I see people argumenting about a subject they have no idea what they're talking about.. unless someone has been a parent, they can't know how a parent feels or how they can raise their children.. unless someone has been sexually abused, they can't say how a victim feels.. therefore their advice has not much weight.. unless you've been cheated, someone can't tell how the BS feels.. this goes for ALL subjects..

Who's talking about hooker-to-john interactions while they're together? I could give a rats arse about that.

My point is that there's something askew about the hooker-john relationship. It's not just about getting off.

November 23, 2008

Actually, the prevalense of STDs among prostitutes (and HIV) is no higher than the prevalence among women in the general population. Sure, I've thought about the risk, but the worst you could get is probably herpes, and 25% of the population has it anyway. moreover, I would think that precisely because these girls are in "this line of work", they'd be particularly festidious about sexual health. Most hookers would cut your d**k off before even contemplating having sex with no protection...

As for going where everybody has been... It's rather easy not to think about it, all i see is a girl having sex with me

Really? I somehow doubt there are any realistic statistics about hookers in general. It's an underground trade that's not exactly well documented.

November 23, 2008

Why do I see this attitude over and over again from some posters on LS?

Honestly, how many women view sex as a means of manipulation? Some, yes, but I would venture to say that most of us do not view sex through that lens. Sex is fun, sex is the glue in a relationship, sex is good for you. A healthy sex life makes you happier.

A lot of men here seem to be obsessed with women using sex as tool for manipulation. I just don't see that as the dominant reason we like sex.

Also fair question. The word "manipulate" is too strong, and certainly does NOT apply to all women, it is just very obvious when it does happen. I don't think men are obsessed with the rare instances of actual manipulation, but with the inherent imbalance in sexual relationships. So even when cool girls to not explicitly try to manipulate, they are at least aware of said imbalance, and so are the guys. In my experience this is a true issue either in the very, very, very early stages of a relaitonship (courting), or after a looong time in a relationship. I was blessed to be in a long relationship with a girl who certainly did NOT EVER view or use sex as a power tool, but some dating experiences (and experiences of my friends in relationships) after that showed me the alternative scenarios, which was very unsettling for me (especially after such a long time in equal rights land).

November 23, 2008

But aren't the two really the same thing? YOU are the one calling the shots in the hooker encounter. YOU dictate that it's just no-hassle sex. When you pay, you dictate the terms of the relationship. Just like my boss at work dictates our professional relationship and the tasks I perform... all strictly because he's paying my salary. I gotta do what he says, or I lose my job.

Well, no offense, and I don't want to get personal here, but that's really not very comforting, considering the high incidence of infidelity in general.

No..no.. it doesn't work like that.. they don't dictate anything.. (except some perverts/jerks) they are mainly 'normal' men.. who wants 'normal' sex ... the only difference is that they're paying for it.. it's that simple.

November 23, 2008

But aren't the two really the same thing? YOU are the one calling the shots in the hooker encounter. YOU dictate that it's just no-hassle sex. When you pay, you dictate the terms of the relationship. Just like my boss at work dictates our professional relationship and the tasks I perform... all strictly because he's paying my salary. I gotta do what he says, or I lose my job.

Well, no offense, and I don't want to get personal here, but that's really not very comforting, considering the high incidence of infidelity in general.

I'm not calling anything. I'm procuring a service, but on her terms. She sets her price, and the circumstances and the rules of the encounter. Hookers do have boundaries. Sure, not the boundaries everybody in the mainstream agrees on, but "I'm not doing X", means "No", and you could get in trouble if you ignore it. When such boundaries are ignored (as i'm sure it unfortunately happens), it's called rape, and the illegality of the whole thing probably reduces the instances when such offences are prosecuted.

Are you not a willing seller of your undifferentiated time and effort to your boss? Are you not going to sue his ass if he oversteps his authority and asks you to do something that's not in the contract?

November 23, 2008

The title of this thread is rather funny as if prostitutes are not considered "civilian" same goes with the men that pay for their services. We become ugly, disgusting low-lives who can't find sex anywhere therefore we must pay for it..sighh.

November 23, 2008

The title of this thread is rather funny as if prostitutes are not considered "civilian" same goes with the men that pay for their services. We become ugly, disgusting low-lives who can't find sex anywhere therefore we must pay for it..sighh.

Hahaha... so true.. but that's typical from people who think they know everything.. and has absolutely no idea of what they're talking about..

November 23, 2008

Why do I see this attitude over and over again from some posters on LS?

Honestly, how many women view sex as a means of manipulation? Some, yes, but I would venture to say that most of us do not view sex through that lens. Sex is fun, sex is the glue in a relationship, sex is good for you. A healthy sex life makes you happier.

A lot of men here seem to be obsessed with women using sex as tool for manipulation. I just don't see that as the dominant reason we like sex.

It's generalization, just like this thread is generalization. Not all men have or will use hookers. Not all women have or will use sex for manipulation. To qualify the statement about women using sex for manipulation, it's more perspective than anything else. For example, a man wants sex with a woman. She's not ready for it. You'll find some men who feel they're entitled to it, therefore, immediately view it as a form of manipulation.

Each person has to decide what type of person they want to accept as a sexual partner or not. Myself, any guy who has, is or will use a hooker isn't someone I would consider...ever...

November 23, 2008

I second that!

November 23, 2008

Each person has to decide what type of person they want to accept as a sexual partner or not. Myself, any guy who has, is or will use a hooker isn't someone I would consider...ever...

May I ask why? Why are you so sure that this is, in some obviously negative way, a reflection of his character? Would you prefer somebody whose full time job was being a playa and picking up chicks at bars?

This thread has been very interesting to me, mostly because the trenghts of the opinions on both sides seem to originate from deeply held beliefs that have rather little to do with the nature of the prostitute/client encounter. The opponents are just appaled at the thought of having sex for money, period. The proponents dismis it as a transaction no different than any other purchase.

As usually, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. I would not go as far as to say that prostitution is completely harmless. But I would also refrain from making a character judgements based on whether or not one has partaken. In any case, the illegality of it only amplifies its negative sides.

Precisely because the issue is so controversial, people need to have a choice. What happens however is that there is always a group of people that somehow feel that their choice is superior and therefore has to be enforced on the other hald. Well, I resent somebody telling me that my choices are inherently "bad" (and that, by extension, I'm a bad person. Well, I'm not. My mom raised me to be a gentlemen, and any woman I've interacted with - prostitute or not - would be able to confirm this.)

November 23, 2008

I have a strong belief about having respect for your body. This encompasses men of interest. Not only do I perceive negative emotional and mental issues associated to the hooker-john relationship, I also want a man who values sex as the natural progression in a situation of strong, emotional connection.

Also, risk takers have downsides to their characters. There are calculated risk-takers, risk-averse men and high risk-takers. My perception of men who are willing to risk life and limb for something as pedestrian as a night with a hooker, are not only high risk-takers, they're also prime candidates for impulse control issues.

November 23, 2008

I have a strong belief about having respect for your body. This encompasses men of interest. Not only do I perceive negative emotional and mental issues associated to the hooker-john relationship, I also want a man who values sex as the natural progression in a situation of strong, emotional connection.

Also, risk takers have downsides to their characters. There are calculated risk-takers, risk-averse men and high risk-takers. My perception of men who are willing to risk life and limb for something as pedestrian as a night with a hooker, are not only high risk-takers, they're also prime candidates for impulse control issues.

Ah, much better this time: you would not associate with such and such guy because of particular qualities, the presence of which *might* be correlated with/indicated by having visited a hooker, not because of unshakeable assumption that he's a piece of trash. But then again, leave yourself some wiggle room / margin for error .

P.S. Also note that i presented my case from the perspective of a currently single guy - the risk, no matter how you measure it, is pretty low in this situation. I've not once advocated the clearly problematic cases of guys cheating with hookers or probably the worst - married men putting it all on the line because of hooker obsession...

November 23, 2008

Are you not a willing seller of your undifferentiated time and effort to your boss?

Yes, under the terms of my employment contract.

Are you not going to sue his ass if he oversteps his authority and asks you to do something that's not in the contract?

Well, I COULD sue his ass, because my professional contract with my employer is LEGAL... and I am legally protected by the laws of my country. Can a prostitute sue a john for raping her, or beating her up?? I have never heard of this happening. (Have you???) Even if it were possible, I don't see how it would hold up in any sane court of law.

There's a good reason why prostitution is illegal. It endangers the health and safety of both the provider and the consumer. It's deliberately risky behavior, and therefore impossible, IMO, that the parties that engage in it could be effectively protected by the government.

And I believe that sharing one's precious body with hundreds/thousands of strangers is a soul-killing activity... but that's not my call, for anyone but myself.

November 23, 2008

not because of unshakeable assumption that he's a piece of trash.

Well, straight up, men who have, are or will have traffic with hookers, are negated from my dating pool, bar none. However you choose to interpret this, is your choice.

November 23, 2008

And I believe that sharing one's precious body with hundreds/thousands of strangers is a soul-killing activity... but that's not my call, for anyone but myself.

I also believe this, and this is probably the source of a lot of the discomfort I have with the activity.

November 23, 2008

There's a good reason why prostitution is illegal. It endangers the health and safety of both the provider and the consumer.

The only reason it endangers them is because it's illegal. Same goes for violence against women in the profession: the longer is stays illegal, the longer such violence will be under-reported and under-prosecuted.

Prostitution is legal and regulated (or at least deciminalized) throughout most of Europe, which in itself is a deterrent against violence against women, plus it greatly facilitates the work of law enforcement in prosecuting such instances and against human trafficking etc. Also, can't resist to also point that the attitude difference is not limited to prostitution: most europeans don't give a rat's ass about issues such as abortion, gun's rights, "abstinence only" education etc. hardcore christian fundamentalist seem to hold a lot more sway in the US than anywhere in the civilized world.

So, where does this leave us? Keeping prostitution illegal is much stronger evidence of hatred against women than anything else said or implied on this forum.

November 23, 2008

Pragmatically speaking, if it's only about getting off, why shell out money for something you can do for yourself?

There's a strong psychological element for men who use or have used hookers. Sure, there's the element of the forbidden but there's far more associated to it. I strongly agree that men who use hookers, don't much like or respect women.

I totally agree, TBF.

And by the way, if a guys is good looking and charming, he usually has no problem scoring with the ladies and does not need to pay for sex. I'm willing to bet that a lot of men who use hookers don't do that well with women in real life, therefore they need to have this sort of arrangement. Of course, there are the guys who can get the ladies, but enjoy the power they feel when using hookers.

For some men, it is probably true that they have no (or very few) other options, so they need a prostitute if they want to have sex.

However, the couple of men I talked about this, said that the money is just the price they pay for some convenience. Those men also had ONS's and said that having sex with the prostitute isn't really different from a ONS, except that the prostitute gets paid. Sex is better than jerking off and that was the reason why they had ONS's or paid prostitutes.

With the ONS, they exchanged sex for sex and with the prostitute, they exchanged money for sex. Some men are simply lazy and they consider the money for a prostitute well spent. If you want people to do your laundry or clean your house, you have to pay them too.

Not that I agree with them, but if you view sex as just sex, I can see how these men came to those conclusions.

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Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

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