Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

[movingonandon]

Pragmatically speaking, if it's only about getting off, why shell out money for something you can do for yourself?

 

There's a strong psychological element for men who use or have used hookers. Sure, there's the element of the forbidden but there's far more associated to it. I strongly agree that men who use hookers, don't much like or respect women.

 

Well that's just insulting (and uncalled for). You base your conclusion on research, or that's the way you "feel"?

Have you thought of the alternative? (The alternative being that, for example, I have treated (the limited number of, thank you very much) hookers I've seen with no less respect than any other woman (or a man) i'd encounter in other circumstances.). I'm not saying that there are no perverts, but they'd be perfectly happy to assault any other woman, if given the opportunity.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

There are many, many men who love and value having sex with the women they love. There are many, many, men who are in love with their wives, girlfriends, etc and enjoy being in relationships. These people described in the Smith and Doe book are only two people, for God's sakes. I'm sure if you took a sampling of men's attitudes towards women, relationships, and love, and you interviewed men from all walks of life from all parts of the country, or the world, you would get a lot more variety in their answers.

 

Those two guys work in the MOVIE BUSINESS? In Hollywood? Hardly a representative example.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Although I have never been with an escort or prostitute, I can see why men prefer it. Less hassle, one off payment, enjoyment, excitement, meeting new women. There are many perks, but not enough for me to risk my own health.

 

How much of a hassle is a one night stand? Is it that awful to spend the night with the woman you just had sex with? Yeah, there is something f***d up about that. Sorry.

[Trialbyfire]

Well that's just insulting (and uncalled for). You base your conclusion on research, or that's the way you "feel"?

Have you thought of the alternative? (The alternative being that, for example, I have treated (the limited number of, thank you very much) hookers I've seen with no less respect than any other woman (or a man) i'd encounter in other circumstances.). I'm not saying that there are no perverts, but they'd be perfectly happy to assault any other woman, if given the opportunity.

Answer these questions. Why would someone pay hundreds of dollars to get off, when they can wank off on their own with or without a little bit of free porn? There's plenty of porn that's considered "forbidden" enough to make it "erotic".

[Lizzie60]

Anecdoetal Lizzie...

 

To use your own logic, you don't really know the guys you do. You have no idea how they interact with their women at home. No one can know anyone, when their relationship is purely sexual. For that matter, unless you can read someone's mind, you cannot know anyone. You can only go by the fantasy they create for you.

 

The same goes to you.. how can you say you know how these men act with their W or OWs...

[cutegirl]

There are many, many men who love and value having sex with the women they love. There are many, many, men who are in love with their wives, girlfriends, etc and enjoy being in relationships. These people described in the Smith and Doe book are only two people, for God's sakes. I'm sure if you took a sampling of men's attitudes towards women, relationships, and love, and you interviewed men from all walks of life from all parts of the country, or the world, you would get a lot more variety in their answers.

 

Those two guys work in the MOVIE BUSINESS? In Hollywood? Hardly a representative example.

 

Yes, I actually bought the book, it was so interesting... I know Smith and Doe are just two guys... but things a lot of men have told me in real life and things

that I have observed from people around me have affirmed for me that there are SOME truths to what Smith and Doe are saying, although I'm sure a lot of the things they say are exaggerated for dramatic effect.

 

All the people around me are all NORMAL people (all college educated, with good normal jobs, white-collar professionals) and most cheat... For example my friend was dating a guy who is an engineer and very successful; we found out he travels all the time and whore mongers plus he also has a gf that he hid from her...

 

My ex's brother in law cheats on his wife all the time and goes to massage parlors (even after she gave birth, actually especially after she gave birth cause she couldn't have sex).

 

My friend's co-worker's dad has a SEPARATE FAMILY with another woman. One of my uncles (who is a doctor and went to an ivy league school) had sex before with hookers in Amsterdam. I know because my dad slipped up once when I was a child, he thought it went past me but trust me, it didn't....

 

My friend's father cheats too, he goes back to his home country to do it sometimes (it's a third world country with cheap hookers) and probably cheats here too.

 

I know A LOT of guys who have been with prostitutes. These are NORMAL guys with good jobs, they are not actors, they are not famous, they are just regular people. I have never heard of a guy who doesn't cheat... I really never have.

[Humbleman]

How much of a hassle is a one night stand? Is it that awful to spend the night with the woman you just had sex with? Yeah, there is something f***d up about that. Sorry.

 

I have had one night stands with women who then wanted a second and third one night stand, they would litter my phone with texts to the point where I threatened them with legal action in a desperate attempt to push them away. I wouldn't have had this problem had I hired out an escort, because the few women I had a one night stand with who were total pyschopaths cost me more than money, my sanity!

[OpenBook]

--"Man spends his life in one of two basic states: loaded or unloaded."

 

Wow, this is essentially reducing men to no more than animals. Most of the men I know have a lot more to them than that. This seems to me about as unfair as labeling a woman with whom you just had a ONS a 'skank-ho'.

[Lizzie60]

Yeah, well there is Charlie Sheen...I'm sure he could pick up the ladies.

 

So why would a guy who could meet beautiful women and have free. casual sex pay for it? Why would Charlie Sheen, a Hollywood star, pay for all those hookers from Heidi Fleiss?

 

What's the motivation?

 

It could be a zillion things.. do YOU know what his motivation was?

 

We can only assume.. but to say that men do it for control is totally false.. they can just want variety..

[cutegirl]

How much of a hassle is a one night stand? Is it that awful to spend the night with the woman you just had sex with? Yeah, there is something f***d up about that. Sorry.

 

I don't think it's that F'ed up... Some guys just want to sleep alone I guess. They just want to have sex and then have the girl go home. Everytime I read guys posting about hookers they always write : "I'm not paying for sex, I am paying her to go away!" So I guess for some guys it IS such a hassle to have her around, such a hassle that they would rather pay to have her go home.

[Trialbyfire]

The same goes to you.. how can you say you know how these men act with their W or OWs...

As I said, I've used your own logic.

 

Ask yourself why young men need to shell out money, to get off. No matter how incredible a hooker is, looks or performance, there's something "off", about men who need hookers.

[SushiX]

I totally agree, TBF.

 

And by the way, if a guys is good looking and charming, he usually has no problem scoring with the ladies and does not need to pay for sex. I'm willing to bet that a lot of men who use hookers don't do that well with women in real life, therefore they need to have this sort of arrangement. Of course, there are the guys who can get the ladies, but enjoy the power they feel when using hookers.

 

It has nothing to do with looks or because he has problems scoring with the ladies. This is way far from the truth. Look, I've done it a few times and here are some reasons I do it.

 

1. Curiousity

2. Rite of passage for some men (Bachelor party anyone?)

3. uninhibited raw sex

4. power, control

5. Boredom

6. loneliness

7. Variety

8. Fantasies

[movingonandon]

Answer these questions. Why would someone pay hundreds of dollars to get off, when they can wank off on their own with or without a little bit of free porn? There's plenty of porn that's considered "forbidden" enough to make it "erotic".

 

No problem: masturbating is fine for the most part, but then again, my hand has hard time competing with the curves and the softness of a girl, so occasionally it doesn't seem like such a bad idea. So contrary to the popuar wisdom, even for men sex involves more than merely ejaculating. Related, visiting a hooker can be a horrible or a great experience - it depends chiefly on her mood/attitude. Most girls who work in this business understand this and are very pleasant to hang out with. So there you have it.

I am actually quite surprised by the apparently widespread perception that interacting with a hooker is some sort of evil transgression completely outside of the realm of the "normal society". As somebody else here said: most hookers are completely normal girls and if you encounter them in "real life" you will have *no idea* what they do for living.

[cutegirl]

Wow, this is essentially reducing men to no more than animals. Most of the men I know have a lot more to them than that. This seems to me about as unfair as labeling a woman with whom you just had a ONS a 'skank-ho'.

 

Of course men are complex creatures and are able to reason logically and know the difference between wrong and right. It's just that men are more likely to cheat when in the "loaded" state I guess. Of course not ALL men would cheat when "loaded" but it's more likely vs if he just had sex 10 minutes ago...

[Lizzie60]

Charlie Sheen is a sex addict. You'll find a percentage of the male population who are, like the guys you read about on LS, who are addicted to porn.

 

Care to back up your statement..

[Lizzie60]

Answer these questions. Why would someone pay hundreds of dollars to get off, when they can wank off on their own with or without a little bit of free porn? There's plenty of porn that's considered "forbidden" enough to make it "erotic".

 

WOW..just WOW...

[norajane]

I'll ignore the first part (for no reason other than the fact that this is just another predictable rationalization of said sexual opression and quilt).

 

As for the second part, that's yet another overgeneralization (bordering ona myth) and additional evidence that many girls simply can't let go of the opressing idea that sex can't be taken and enjoyed in its own right, but always needs to be a part of a larger 'game'. Let me ask you this: after so many years of emancipation and equality in the workplace, are there no other sources for women to feel empowered? Isn't it about time to come to terms with the idea that sex gives no "special powers"? It's just sex. It's much better when it's with someone you love, but it's not that bad even when you do it for the sake of it. Hence, no need to transfer your guilt on men. From guys point of view, a woman who goes to bed on the first night may or may not be a skank. It depends on the context of the encounter (and well... on the fact if she's actually a skank). But no sane guy will consider a woman a skank JUST BECAUSE she felt like having sex that night and did it. How's that for a change?

 

I don't believe I have any special powers because I have a pussy. I do believe that sex is for enjoyment, and frankly, a guy in a ONS isn't likely to get me off, as that's been my experience. They don't know my body well enough, and they're too much in a rush to get theirs. Which is why I stopped indulging in "just sex" ONS's back in college. Guilt has nothing to do with it. So stop speaking for me and all the other women who can't be bothered to waste their time with dude who isn't capable of getting us off. And that's where I DO feel empowered - I don't have to settle for crappy sex.

 

And, that's exactly why men who frequent hookers are sooooo unappealing. They go because when they pay for it, the sex is all about them, and has little or nothing to do with wanting to please a woman or being a sex connoisseur. Why would I find a guy like that appealing?

[cutegirl]

Care to back up your statement..

 

He's known to have slept with over 5,000 woman. Obviously he is some kind of addict, that's a rather excessive number...

[Trialbyfire]

Care to back up your statement..

Find something that refutes my statement. Not only is he considered a sex addict, he is/was a drug addict. Sounds to me like he's just, plain got issues, the typical hollywood actor who risk takes and seeks greater and greater dysfunctional stimulation.

[movingonandon]

As I said, I've used your own logic.

 

Ask yourself why young men need to shell out money, to get off. No matter how incredible a hooker is, looks or performance, there's something "off", about men who need hookers.

 

There is a subtle, but important distinctioin here: there is a *huge* difference between "NEED" (hookers) and "WHY THE HELL NOT" (see a hooker). Like anything else pleasurable (e.g. drinking, eating, gambling), obsessing with hookers can ruin lives. But to base your general assessment of this line of activity on the inevitable pathologies is like wanting to outlaw McDonalds because of the few chumps that don't understand the concept of enough is enough.

[Trialbyfire]

WOW..just WOW...

It bothers you, doesn't it? Does it erode on self?

[Humbleman]

Lizzie seems to understand men more than the other women in this debate, who seem to think every man is a dictator. I often just throw women out when I wake up after a one night stand, they always shout profanity at me, but its like "haven't you got a home to go to?"

[Trialbyfire]

There is a subtle, but important distinctioin here: there is a *huge* difference between "NEED" (hookers) and "WHY THE HELL NOT" (see a hooker). Like anything else pleasurable (e.g. drinking, eating, gambling), obsessing with hookers can ruin lives. But to base your general assessment of this line of activity on the inevitable pathologies is like wanting to outlaw McDonalds because of the few chumps that don't understand the concept of enough is enough.

Well, for one, it's a high risk STD scenario. No matter how well you armour yourself, nothing's foolproof. Sure, there are women who aren't hookers where the risk is also high. But...it's fact that your average hooker has done way more men, than your average woman, therefore, you're playing russian roulett...for what?

 

So you have to ask yourself, why would you be willing to go where every man has gone before?

[Lizzie60]

It bothers you, doesn't it? Does it erode on self?

 

Not one bit.. I rather be what I am than 'constipated' and lonely..

[Trialbyfire]

Not one bit.. I rather be what I am than 'constipated' and lonely..

Everyone makes choices in their lives. I could easily get into a pissing match with you about everything but I won't.

 

I'm expressing my views on men who want or need hookers. You're welcome to internalize that or not.