Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

[OpenBook]

Ok, I will go into statistics later but first from what I observed.. My ex was into it. His best friend is still into it and goes to massage parlors all the time even when he has a gf. My best friend's father is like what, somewhere between 55-60 I'm guessing and he goes all the time...

 

For men using prostitutes on a regular basis, I would think that kind of activity would taint their view of ALL the women in their lives... they'd start looking at YOU funny. Or they would start "compartmentalizing" women - e.g., the W is the mother figure; the prostitute is the sexual figure; etc. They would be unable to view a woman as someone who spans all those feminine aspects; they'd throw every woman they met into one category or the other, and be unable to see any other side of her.

 

Am I way off here?

[cutegirl]

For men using prostitutes on a regular basis, I would think that kind of activity would taint their view of ALL the women in their lives... they'd start looking at YOU funny. Or they would start "compartmentalizing" women - e.g., the W is the mother figure; the prostitute is the sexual figure; etc. They would be unable to view a woman as someone who spans all those feminine aspects; they'd throw every woman they met into one category or the other, and be unable to see any other side of her.

 

Am I way off here?

 

No, I think you are completely right. I think it's "not normal" if a guy has sex with hookers all the time. I think it's normal if they had a one night stand, at least there was mutual attraction...

[fral945]

That's not true, I don't like romance... I don't want dinner or candlelights...

 

What if I WANT to pay the guy so I can degrade him and humiliate him? Make him do something he might not like? Whoever pays has the power. It's a sign of financial power. It's saying that women are on equal par as men...

 

It's not about getting laid, it's about POWER.

 

Then go pay for a male hooker. I think you are just playing devil's advocate, though. Power may be a factor, but IMO it's mainly about sex.

[Lizzie60]

There are different kinds of hookers and as many different reasons for men to have sex with them.

 

First, all hookers have sex for money.

 

Some hookers do it to pay for their addictions.. etc... they are the 'thrashy' kind... they would do just about anything (even if they are totally disgusted, painful stuff, etc.) with anyone (old, disgusting, perverts, etc) because they are in dire need of some money.

 

Some hookers will do it for the sex. They will not do what they do not want to do... they will choose the men.. they do not necessarily need the money.. it's 'gravy'..

 

Why men choose hookers.. some have no choice.. they are sooo disgusting, they would never find a woman 'instantly' when they need one.

 

Some have fetishes that their W would never ever fulfill, and those fetishes are not always 'extravagant' .. some W refuse to give oral, role play, etc.

 

Some men do not want the drama.. they have no time or just cannot take any chances (married ones) to go look around for a woman. This is convenient for them.

 

I see different type of 'clients'.. the rich, sucessful, good looking men who will not go with the 'street trashy hookers'...

 

Some hookers are better in bed.. not all.. I would think.. some perverts would take any hookers just to fulfill their disgusting fetishes and do not care what the woman feels or if he hurts her.

 

Some hookers are better in bed because they know what the man like.. they know how to perform.. they take care of themselves, they are sexy (lingerie, men love that)... clean, classy... they don't have the 'thrashy hooker look'.. and they develop some kind of relationship with her.. over the years..

 

If the hookers were not good in bed.. I doubt the guys would pay for them.. unless he's desperate.. but the 'good ones' (attractive, rich) are not.

 

I think that all women, at some point, have had sex for some money or some kind of 'favour'.. they just won't admit it..

 

Same as stats.. how can they combine stats on men who pay for sex... most, and I mean MOST, will never ever admit it.. because of the 'reputation' hookers have and the 'reputation' of the men who use them have..

[madgun68]

Doesn't matter if you pay for sex or not. You will not truly be in control nor have the power. Why?

 

ANY time you are paying for goods/services, the person providing it/them may choose to stop doing so. Just like anything else, people think "the customer is always right" but forget the clause "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." You step outside the comfort zone of the prostitute and you'll be reminded that you have no power and are not in control as everything comes to a screeching halt.

 

You want to dominate someone, there are communities where like minded people can find one another. You need not pay someone for something someone else is willing to do for free.. Not that there's anything wrong with prostitutes, but it just cracks me up how people find all these BS excuses as to why they enlist in their services.

[cutegirl]

That site has a message board or at least it used to. I haven't been there in months and I don't plan on going back.

 

I just found the message board now, I didn't see it before... am browsing it now... Lol these women are pretty scandalous, especially in the "for women only forum" wtf... these women are just as bad as men...

 

The forum isn't very active tho... it's kinda dead .. in the main forum there were topics started in august and then october, but none in September.... I think it's very rare for women to post on these boards.. on the hooker boards for men its non-stop posts... its a lot more active.

[OpenBook]

ANY time you are paying for goods/services, the person providing it/them may choose to stop doing so. Just like anything else, people think "the customer is always right" but forget the clause "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." You step outside the comfort zone of the prostitute and you'll be reminded that you have no power and are not in control as everything comes to a screeching halt.

 

Really? What if the "john" gets angry when the prostitute cuts him off - and he beats her up? Can she go to the police? Can she go to her pimp? If she doesn't have a pimp, who does she go to for help?

[madgun68]

Really? What if the "john" gets angry when the prostitute cuts him off - and he beats her up? Can she go to the police? Can she go to her pimp? If she doesn't have a pimp, who does she go to for help?

You can't be serious.

 

Battery is a crime. The prostitute, regardless of profession, has just as much right to press charges against the so-called "john" as any other female that becomes the subject of abuse.

 

That's completely overlooking the fact that the profession itself is highly dangerous even when not factoring in sexually transmitted diseases.

[OpenBook]

You can't be serious.

 

Battery is a crime. The prostitute, regardless of profession, has just as much right to press charges against the so-called "john" as any other female that becomes the subject of abuse.

 

That's completely overlooking the fact that the profession itself is highly dangerous even when not factoring in sexually transmitted diseases.

 

Yes, and the profession is also ILLEGAL in most places. If she went to the police she would get herself in trouble as well. YOU can't be serious, sir.

[SushiX]

I love prostitutes, hookers, whatever you want to call them. And No i'm not an ugly guy that can't get sex. lol I perfer prostitutes sometimes because I feel control and feel I could do whatever I want with them and not feel guilty about it, afterall I am paying them.

 

Sex with them is usually great for me because its a big turn on for me that she's slutty and willing to do anything with no strings attached and no drama. It's just awesome!

[kashmir]

Seriously, though, it's funny because we all know that just a decent looking woman could have sex with almost any man she wanted without any money, time, or effort. Just walk into a room full of men, grab one you like, and say "I want to have sex with you". Unlikely you find much resistance.

 

For a guy, even if you're tall, dark, handsome, smart, successful, funny, rich, and famous, you've still got to put in the time, effort, and money to court and win over a woman. Then there is no guarantee you'll get laid, even if you say and do the right things.

 

Yeah, that's the really disappointing truth. It's what makes women think they have power over all men. It's what makes them think men are disposable and worthless, since they can pretty much get any one if they wanted to.

[kashmir]

This is a bit of a loaded question because hookers do this for a living and get a ton of practice doing it.....plus they will do anything....it is their job.

 

Civilian women, on the other hand, are more likely to not give you a disease and some of them are just as freaky....it all depends on the woman and if you find the right one you don't need more than one to get variety......plus sex was not made to be devalued like that anyway.

 

Rochelle

 

Well, sex wasn't MADE to be anything, but because you brought it up...the whole primitive idea behind it is to have as much of it as possible with as many females as possible. The more prostitutes you supposedly impregnate, the more genetic data you pass on. So it a way, it was meant to be devalued.

[JamesM]

Interesting thread.

 

First, as Lizzie said, hookers have to be better than the average woman for a couple of reasons...one, if they are bad, they cannot charge as much nor will they get clients; two, they have plenty of practice with many guys who have many ideas of what feels good.

 

Second, guys like hookers because:

 

They pay them for sex, and they go home afterward. There is no need to be emotionally polite, and it doesn't take work.

 

They like the variety. It is porn in real life.

 

There is the thrill of the hunt.

 

There is the thrill of knowing you have a secret life.

 

And there is the thrill of throwing around money. Unfortunately, some men throw around money that is needed for the family.

 

Third, most guys do NOT want a hooker. They may act interested, but when it comes down to it, the actual event would not really be of interest. There is too much risk.

 

Fourth, while most men on the boards post, not many actually are regular clients of the escorts. Having said that, many visit on a basis that would shock you. Once I decided to see if I could get some numbers. So, I asked that question at the end of the year: How many times in the past year did you visit escorts, AMPs, etc., and how much did you spend? I kept the results in a notebook file on my computer.

 

Here are some actual answers:

 

I average about $1,200 per month. Average 4 appointments.

$2-2.5 ea. and I treat myself to duos frequently.

Mostly out of state, but I am planning to change this.

Found a set of sweetheart sisters that I enjoy.

Maybe I need professional help!! One month hit $1,700.

 

Wow, you need professional help! I try to keep mine between 500 and 750 per month.

 

Probably around $4000 yearly. I will spend $200 to $250 for the right "date" and have had a few over the years that were quite pricey, one a porn star in California that was quite popular and I do fantasize about our date whenever I see her do an interview on tv or see her performance on a dvd, but it did kill my budget for about 3-4 months. Best value in my travels is Ontario, CA, from Windsor to Niagara Falls, but avoid the upsell in Toronto. In the states, mid-south from the Carolina's to Kentucky is the best value. Florida is nice, but I don't believe you can experience the true GFE "date" there. Arizona sucks and for the most part, California is pretty pricey. Stay clear of Vegas...disease and a lot of upsell around the strip and brothels are definitely over priced. I get to Detroit about 18 times annually and party maybe every other time. I never party at home, except with the SO and at our ages, (early 50's), not as often as I wish. All in all, I consider the value in Detroit to be quite good.

 

on a good month it can run $1500, but i try to hold those good months down. lol

 

I figure that I'm pretty cheap..........I'm getting by spending about 650/mn, seeing 2.24 SP's. (Information taken over the last 4 months I've been back in the hobby).

 

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately Grin, I'm seeing more ladies, sooner, as time goes by, so I expect that I may have to start watching my budget.

 

Being "downsized" 4 times over the last 15 years has kept me rather low in $. I had a higher yearly earning thirty years ago, before I "moved up" in the companies I've worked for.

 

I saved up while I was off field for close to 20 years. After I reavaulated my life in 1999, I decided to go out with a smile on my face. So when the doc said I could go out and play again this year, I took him up on it.

 

My friend builds & collects trains that you can ride on. A single engine costs a minimum of $50K. This hobby is darn cheap compared to his.

 

No such thing as a hobby budget any longer. Two kids in college and another one on the way at the end of this school year precludes me from participating as I would like. I now have to squirrel away whatever I can so it is not noticed until I have enough for one day of fun.

 

When I could participate more freely I would try to see one to two ladies a month. Probably averaged about $4K a year for the first couple of years in the hobby.

 

Seriously, I spend about $150 to $250 in a typical month, and that includes hobby related expenses, not just the lady's rate

 

I don't really keep track, but I think it was probably between 12 and 15K each in 2003 and 2004 including numerous trips to Vegas and Florida each of those years with lovely ladies. This year it has been much less, partially because of time constraints, but mostly due to a severe, unexpected business hit that has eliminated about 70K of annual income.

 

I tend to have between 12 and 18 visits a year.

 

about 1/2 to 2/3 are lovelies from the board.

 

the remainder are typically visits to a parlor now and again or something out of town.

 

I seem to average about $210 per visit from the board lovelies and about $175 for the others.

 

If you said $$ per, that would be between $2,500 and $3,500 or thereabouts.

 

Add in the occasional increase for a duo, extended stay and tips, I am in the $4,000 range.

 

between strip clubs and sp.s and massages at least 3 to 4k per month, the strip clubs are a tax write off. now if i can only find a sp that will take a credit card i will write that off as well.

 

It used to be around 1K per month, last several months approaching 2K per month. Im trying to pick up the pace realizing that im nearer the end of the road then the beginning.

 

Notice that they compare this to a hobby....as if it can be compared to model trains. (BTW, and SP is a code name for an escort. This is an acronym for Service Provider.) Every quote is a different guy. And while they don't all say it...some imply it, almost all are married. I have read threads where they discuss how they can keep the "hobby" from their wives or girlfriends. I wished that I had kept some of those posts, too. Every once in awhile, a wife would catch the husband, and it would make for a good story. The refrain was always..."Lie,lie,lie." And if you were caught with your d*ck in her, then lie and say it wasn't yours. Seriously. And escorts would occasionally tell how they received angry calls from wives.

 

I know that this board is now defunct and the postings are not accessible.

 

I do remember how men "squirrelled" money away by different methods. Part of their checks were put into a separate account. Bonuses were never reported to their wives, or these men controlled the finances completely. It was important to have separate bank accounts and cell phones. Special places for condoms and other "hobby materials" were needed. And on it went. The lies and deceit that was needed to keep the hobby secret was incredible. The energy that it took would give me a heart attack.

 

One guy was real organized, he said,. He kept accounts of every visit with an escort with the time spent, money spent, and his opinion of her. Anyone who had that notebook could nail him. I do know he said that he kept in his briefcase, and his wife almost found it. She would have had a shock as he was one of the biggest spenders on the board.

 

The sad thing I found as I "learned" from them is that it almost seems normal after reading about it for so long. I think that this is how many are attracted into "the hobby." For me, I became quite disgusted with these supposed men. While I understand their motivation in some sense of the word, I abhor the idea of such a secret life. The risk for STDs is very high (many men will only see women who agree to no condoms,, so in effect, the risk for all men becomes greater), and the risk of getting caught by LE and wives gets greater the more visits these men make. There is the drama of the escort's life. She may be a drug user, have a husband or boyfriend, and children. Some women actually get these men to pay for things for them and use sex as incentives for their "charity."

 

Even if one forgets his wife, his own health and reputation should be enough to eliminate such enjoyment in "the hobby."

 

When I came here, I was surprised at how few women even knew of such "hobbies." Based on my research, I am willing to say that there are some here whose husbands are one of these men.

[SushiX]

JamesM. This is not a hobby of mine like most of those men, but I do rely on these escort services sometimes when I'm on a business trip. Just because I call up an escort service, doesn't mean I'm looking for sex. Sometimes work could be stressful and I just wanna have fun with good company. Traveling expenses which includes "misc expenses" prepaid by the company helps too. I think the company understand that people get lonely when traveling away from family/friends hence the "misc expenses" lol. Do they know what I do with the money? Probably. Do they care? Probably not. So why not live the life?

[JamesM]

JamesM. This is not a hobby of mine like most of those men, but I do rely on these escort services sometimes when I'm on a business trip. Just because I call up an escort service, doesn't mean I'm looking for sex.

 

The question is...do you use these women for sex?

 

How do you define "fun with good company?" And why pay at least $200 an hour, when you can go to the bar and meet someone for some conversation and "company?" How does it feel that have a fun time with someone who really doesn't look at you as a fun time but as a way to pay her bills?

 

What is the power in that?

 

Based on your earlier post, I am guessing that your time includes sex even though it is illegal. And since you are using company money, having sex on their money would be quite frowned upon. I am guessing that if they caught wind of you using their money for illegal activities, the least that would happen is...you would be fired. Having worked in an Accounts Payable Dept for a couple of years, I am surprised that your company does not do some sort of audit of trip expenses. We knew everything our employees did, Where they went, and what they ate and drank. Granted, we only have a couple of hundred to worry about, but still an expense to an escort agency would have been a red flag.

 

Truly I am not meaning to be critical...I am just asking questions. As I said, I do understand the need for them.

[Lizzie60]

Oh come on James.. if someone wants to scr*ew the company they'll find a way.. and the company will never find out..

 

Some companies do not really care what the employee does with the allocated expenses.. they are giving it to the employee.. ex. for meals.. they are allocated so much.. if the person doesn't eat,.. the company still pays.. and they don't ask ... not all companies / gov't agencies ask for receipts..

[JohnnyBlaze]

Cute, here's my theory on your question.

 

Men do it predominantly for the following reasons:

 

• Positional Variety - Despite your own sexual openness, unfortunately for us men, women don't walk around with a sign on their necks saying "I do anal". A guy could waste all night getting close to a girl, only to find out she won't do anything other than missionary with the lights off. And even mentioning a golden shower would make most women run screaming. A prostitute wouldn't even flinch; she'd just say "okay, but it'll cost you $__ more". Prostitutes are a way to explore sexual boundaries without having any long-term impact (other than medical, which if you're smart, you've got covered anyway - no pun intended).
  
• Partner Variety - some guy's been married for 10 years and hasn't done a college girl in the last 15. He just wants something different.
  
• Covertness - There's the whole 007 feeling, sneaking around behind the wife's back, having hidden bank accounts and secret stashes. It gives the guy who sits at a desk all day a little rush in his life.
  
• Control - even if the guy's in a diaper being bull whipped by a girl in a leather halter, it's because he asked for it. He gets to call the shots and doesn't have to even consider her enjoyment.
  
• Relaxation - some guys who've had a rough day just want to hear a girl moaning on top of him and don't want to go through the whole song and dance at the club to get there.
  
• ROI - $200 to a prostitute guarantees that he'll get laid. $200 on a date only guarantees that she'll eat dinner and have some drinks at the club after. Plus, it's a clean break at the end of a ONS. Prostitutes never call the next day.
  

 

No, I have never used the services of an escort/prostitute/whatever-they're-called-in-your-area. Yes, I had a ONS...kind of. It was meant to be a ONS, but we ended up dating for a few months after that, so I don't know if it counts.

 

And although there aren't any brick & mortar "showroom floors" to showcase male escorts like there are for women, they're certainly out there. I just googled "male escort" and got 4.2 million hits. Of course, since you seem to be open about most other things, sexually, you could always try a woman. It'll let you feel exactly what a guy goes through (well, with one or two differences ).

 

Yes, and the profession is also ILLEGAL in most places. If she went to the police she would get herself in trouble as well. YOU can't be serious, sir.

It is, but generally prostitution isn't one of the more heavily penalized crimes out there. I used to date a stripper who had some friends in the escort business; if they were getting pushed around by a john and they didn't have their own muscle, they wouldn't think twice about going to the cops. Besides, without any evidence (as I'm sure the girl won't say "yes, officer, I'm a hooker"), they can't charge her with anything, even if they know full well how she makes her money (she could easily argue it was a free ONS). But most girls have somebody's arm around them; scores can be easily settled without police intervention.

 

As to the legality of prostitution, it's only illegal in some places (like most US states) or in some forms. Example: In some places like Nevada and the Netherlands, it is entirely legal and regulated. In Canada, you can't say you're a prostitute who charges for sex. But it IS legal to say that you're an escort who charges for companionship...and happens to like anal and facials. Yes, it's saying the same thing in a different way, but we all know wording is everything in the legal system these days!

[SushiX]

The question is...do you use these women for sex?

 

How do you define "fun with good company?" And why pay at least $200 an hour, when you can go to the bar and meet someone for some conversation and "company?" How does it feel that have a fun time with someone who really doesn't look at you as a fun time but as a way to pay her bills?

 

What is the power in that?

 

Based on your earlier post, I am guessing that your time includes sex even though it is illegal. And since you are using company money, having sex on their money would be quite frowned upon. I am guessing that if they caught wind of you using their money for illegal activities, the least that would happen is...you would be fired. Having worked in an Accounts Payable Dept for a couple of years, I am surprised that your company does not do some sort of audit of trip expenses. We knew everything our employees did, Where they went, and what they ate and drank. Granted, we only have a couple of hundred to worry about, but still an expense to an escort agency would have been a red flag.

 

Truly I am not meaning to be critical...I am just asking questions. As I said, I do understand the need for them.

 

I normally see the same people almost every time. I enjoy their company and that's all that matters to me. Normally I don't have time to hang out at the bars. If I did then I wouldnt have the need to call on these escort services. My boss says I could do whatever I wanted with those misc expenses, and he meant anything because he does it himself. lol I don't know how AP works but my boss handles all the expenditures for me so that works out fine.

[CandyGirlXO]

This thread is very interesting but it depresses me! Makes me feel like I should/want to be single for the rest of my life!

[ipetree]

Not sure why some women are shocked by the fact that men like sex with women, lol.

 

Is it partially because you do not have full 100% control over the sexual life a all males? Such as making them jump through hoops,loving you, entertaining you, buying you things, just to get laid?

 

And cutegirl.. You could go online, find any of the "hottest" guys, and chances are you could have sex with them. But you do not, because for all of your talk, you are a female, and empty sex is a turn off for you. Or, you would have slept with 500 men by now if you truly want no strings sex.

[movingonandon]

I don't have too much "experience" with this, but I can tell for sure that hookers are NOT better in bed and NEVER will be, since the overall interaction is such a big part of having sex.

 

None of the reasons you list makes them particularly attractive. They are better in a sense that having this type of sex is exactly what sometimes you crave: straightforward, absolutely no hassle, no second guessing, no baggage. I would not visit a hooker when I have a girlfriend, but sometimes I've wanted to. A hooker is perfectly willing to sleep with you as soon as you show her the money. A girlfriend can be upset with you for no apparent reason at all, which obviously affects the desire to even try to have sex. As an added bonus, some hookers have great personalities and are actually a pleasure just to hang out with.

[movingonandon]

and what kind of advantage they have over normal women.

 

I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but i will point out anyway that hookers ARE normal women, and just because they've decided to screw around for money does not mean that they deserve any less respect than anybody else.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Well I care because most guys enjoy hookers and if I were to ever date again, it would be something I would have to look out for and be aware of.

 

My ex used to have sex with hookers all the time... I found numbers and I am such an internet sleuth that I was able to pinpoint the numbers to the exact listings on Craigslist... It has a search engine and I would type in the number and I was able to find out exactly which prostitutes he responded to....

 

I think a lot of guys are into prostitutes, especially guys who TRAVEL a lot, its a big red flag, especially if they like to go to Brazil, Thailand etc... I think it's something women need to be more aware of. A lot of women probably have no clue their husbands/bf's are out there having sex on the side... It's important to know how it all works so I have a clue when it happens again...

 

A lot of men are into these things nowadays, it's one more thing to be aware of if you are even considering dating or having any relations with a man.

 

 

Well....wow...

 

I honestly think that if you have to worry about the men you date going off with prostitutes, Id say I would try to up my standards on the kind of people i date instead of worrying about what is it that prostitutes do.

 

Ive known many men, as I usually get along better with men than women, and of all these guys, ive known maybe 2 or 3 that have been with a hooker... One was a very young guy when he did it, the other two were kinda crazy and out there, not many morals to speak of. The others find it dirty and just plain gross, also they've told me its an insult to themselves. they are bassically saying they cant get it unless they pay for it....

 

So again, dont worry so much about what do prostitues do, and worry instead on the kind of men you are attracted to.

[movingonandon]

That's not true, I don't like romance... I don't want dinner or candlelights...

 

What if I WANT to pay the guy so I can degrade him and humiliate him? Make him do something he might not like? Whoever pays has the power. It's a sign of financial power. It's saying that women are on equal par as men...

 

It's not about getting laid, it's about POWER.

 

THis is a myth. It is all about getting laid with no hassles. Short of a small number of actual perverts, nobody goes to hookers to degrade them. People of all walks of life pay for sex. Our society has trouble digesting the idea that there is nothing particularly degrading about sex for money between two consenting adults. If anything makes it risky and dangerous, it's the illegality of it, which only increases the likelihood of unreported violence against women, without doing anything to curb it.

[kashmir]

Cutegirl, to address your original post,

 

It seems like everyone is taking this thing a notch farther than I was thinking. They're saying men go to prostitutes because they want to try new sexual positions and fetishes. That's implying that they get sex without a problem...they're just bored of it.

 

I would think guys go to prostitutes to either get away from their wives (married guys only) or because they can't get laid. I know I've certainly thought about getting an escort just to be sexually satisfied for a while getting, sex off my mind for the next few months.