NatoPMT Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 things will work out for you, you sound sooo much better! go girl! i read tarots, and mine told me what was going to happen and how i was going to feel - cant work out if i created a self-fulfilling prophesy but i reckon is was going to happen any way - i can do you a reading via the atlantic (i HATE that stupid ocean) so let me know if you want me to do one for you - will type it out. Its cool you can find something to relate to with it as they just offer you advice, usually the advice you deel down know is true anyway. the good news from my side is that i am 8 vodkas down the line and downloading stuff like Chaka khan - i SO have my dancing pants on. i cried on the bus on the way home AND in the supermarket but i am finding it amusing now - the people on the bus always look at me sympathetically when i get on now. Mad bird with spotty bag who cries on the number 25 - thats me. i might throw my shoes at them next time a la jerry springer. i think i am through the worst of it now, the only obstacle i have to deal with is the noone-can-possibly-compare-to-him thing, he was so perfect and beautiful, he made me laugh and everyone else seems so dull and boring next to him. i felt a connection to him like nothing i have experienced before, he was so pure and just plain wonderful - and with hindight, hes still wonderful. I would console myself with the he made me feel bad thing if it was true, i wasnt happy but i could have been. i am so stupid!!! oh dear back in the bad place again. i know hes thinking of me, and i know that when he watches Friends (he thought i looked like jennifer aniston - bargain!!) he'll think of me. waaaiiiilllll - noone will ever tell me have have nice legs again - my legs are horrible, but he LIKED them. noone will ever have the warmth he has. i am going to ignore that for now because of course i'll never find anyone like him, but i iwill survive tomorrow. hopefully. how do you feel now lectric? you sound so much more optimistic, i think you are a very positive person usually - and that you are becoming yourself again. oo thats good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author electricshores Posted October 5, 2003 Author Share Posted October 5, 2003 Man, today has been a slammer. One thing after another. I really need something to give or i am going to break. Work sucks, its been sucking for the past 2 weeks. I havent been sleeping, i'm still broken hearted, and my car is now not working. What am I to do? I'm all alone 1100 miles from my family. I get in these pathetic, self-loathing ruts lately-I hate it because i know deep down i have the potential to be happy. Big-you sound okey-dokey. I'm sure i will be too... Hold my hand girlie! xoxo Link to post Share on other sites
laine Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 [color=blue][/color] I`ve just found this site, for the same reason as you. As i read your pain I knew exactly what you are going through. Everyone, that has relplied to you, are right. The hurt does get fade, maybe not straight away and maybe not completely, but it becomes bearable. You are lucky you have friends, who care about you and are going through the pain with you, lean on them, they love you and will support you. There will be times that you hurt so bad it cripples you and there will be times that you can go nearly a whole day without thinking about him. Cry when you need to cry, get angry if you need, it`s your right. Look forward to the future, and remember it`s his loss not yours. This does make you stronger and wiser, we have to go through these experiences to make us better people in the future. I know I`m going through it now, I think most of us are, but you WILL be OK. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
mewbomb Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 from the looks of the originaql post here, i really feel for you!!! my post is up there somewhere and i don't seem to be getting any better as the days go on. Its only been a few and i still can't believe what has happned! my aim is "a 007 friend" hehe... im always on so if anyone wants to chat, ill be around. I love to get this stuff out in the open. makes me feel better. I have to say... if it wasn't for the Loveshack, i don't know what i would do. I talk to friends/family but i hate laying this S*** on them, ya know. Sometimes i think i want to move far away and find a new job, just to get rid of this. But i know it wouldn't help. Just my two cents.. oh.. please hang in there girls... i know you can do it and i know that i can too. I work in the greatest city in the world and now, im not going to get out of the city so quick... maybe ill stick around now and then and see whats around... i still love her so!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author electricshores Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 So yeah. Havent posted in for-ev-er, and i am so sorry. ****e went down, i am back in philly, and no less heart-broken than a month ago. So here it goes... At my going away party, i was talking to this guy... who knows a girl... who used to hang out with my ex [before the breakup... ] and HE said that SHE said that my boyfriend was a total 'horn-dog'. hmmm the guy went on to say that he didnt think they had sex but was pretty sure they'd messed around.... Now, this is hear-say.. and also 3rd party. But i trust this guy - and i know this girl. And seeing my ex's recent slut behavior, i really wouldnt doubt that he was cheating on me for the last 2 years - at least. How will i ever trust again???????? Am I over reacting? I've been more depressed recently since getting this news than i was before... and just as i was starting to make progress too. SIGH. I guess i should use it as fuel to get on with my life and be better than he'll ever be. Is it wrong of me to want him to eventually be sorry he ever broke up with me? I want to rub it in his face that i was the best he ever had/will have and that he cant have me back. Why? Because hes a cheating a**h*** who smashed my tender heart to pieces. In closing for tonight, i shall quote Shakespeare [which i never do because I hate shakespeare] ... "All the old knives that have rusted in my back, I drive in yours" Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Am I over reacting? No How will i ever trust again???????? Yes, unless you want to miss out on the best things in life! Don't let your past dictate your future. Don't let Mr. Wrong shut out Mr. Right. Don't hold new people accountable for old people's issues and problems. Let the new people in, and let them earn your trust and love. And don't become jaded, because fate dealt you a good hand. You found out about him before marrying the schmuck or having children or wasting 20 years with him. Link to post Share on other sites
shopgrl Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 I just found this thead because, well like all you girls, I'm going through the same thing. My story is posted somewhere on this site and it's too long to get into. But basically, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years tore my heart out and ripped it in two about 3 weeks ago. We planned on getting married soon (what a joke!!). Granted I agreed that we needed a "break" from one another but not a full fledge "break up and move on" (even though I led him to believe that the break up and move on was mutual). I am going through the same anger, resentment and pain that you girls are experiencing and it sucks so bad because I've never felt so hurt before. I would do anything to just be over this guy now!!! I too want to call my ex so bad although I don't even know what I'd say to him because at this point, I really think Im going to be fine without him once I get out there and start meeting other guys. One thing we have to remember though is that our ex's are hurting too and from what I've learned and read, it takes guys longer to get over break ups than it takes girls to. How true that is, I don't know== it probably varies from person to person. Also, every relationship happens for a reason, whatever it may be. My suggestion to everyone on this site is to forget about your ex's (or at least try to), concentrate on yourself, go out, have a good time, flirt with other guys and enjoy yourself. Sooner or later, your ex's will be back. From my experience (and my mother's wise words), if a guy truly does care about you and loves you, regardless of why you broke up or what was said during the break up--- when he actually has time to miss you, sees that you can live without him and that you are moving on and dating other guys, he suddenly wants you back. And then everything is in your hands.....would you take him back? Lectric-- girl-- don't get yourself worked up over the rumors about your ex cheating. It's not worth it. Plus you can't believe everything you hear anyway. And even if he was cheating on you -- that should just make you stronger and make it easier to forget about him and be thankful that you are no longer with the jerk. And just think(if he was cheating on you), even if you guys never broke up and were still together today, someday you would have found out that he was a cheating a**hole and you would've gotten rid of him anyway. So in a sense, he saved you alot of wasted time by breaking up with you now. Be happy-- your young, you sound like a smart and a wonderful girl and you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
dinkey Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 It is a bit of comfort to hear that there are other girls out there curling up and crying. I too am finding it impossible to bear, really impossible. All I do is think about every tiny detail and cannot make myself go out, phone people, go for a walk, do anything at all. The thing about never ever being with someone so so wonderful in every way is how I too feel. Chainsmoking and drinking at night to numb myself. One thing that really bothers me is the hurtful things I have said to him. You all seem to be really nice people. I know I am, but I feel really uneasy that I have said regrettable childish things. In response to being rejected my reaction has been to let rip and say either calm negative things about him, or even foul hysterical things to him? Have any of you done this or have you all been able to stay controlled? Link to post Share on other sites
shopgrl Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 dinkey- I don't know how long ago you and your ex split but by reading your post it sounds like it was recent. Despite what your feeling inside, don't talk bad about him. You will only give him the satisfaction of knowing that you still care. He will also get the impression that you want him back. You have to show him (or at least pretend) that you have no hard feelings, that you're ok, you're moving on and living your life without him. When I'm out with my friends and people ask what happened with my ex I say-- irreconciable differences-- it just didn't work out. I say that he is a great guy but this is the best thing for us. I never get into detail because well, it hurts too much and on top of that it is no one's business. Also, I never mention we broke up until someone asks. I haven't had the opportunity to see my ex out yet but shortly after the break I saw some guys that he works with (who are total gossipers). When I walked in the bar, I pretended I didn't see them and went directly up to some guy friends and began talking and laughing with them. I could see my ex's friends out of the corner of my eye looking at me. Funny but they left shortly after seeing me. I know that they ran back and told my ex everything (it's happened before) and I'm happy. I want him to know that I'm fine without him and moving on. I would never, ever want him to think I'm miserable. I believe this will make me so much more attractive. I hate games but sometimes you have to play them. I cannot wait to see my ex out. When I do, I will just say "hi, how are you" in passing and go directly to guy friends and begin having a good time. My only fear is that he will be with another girl (that would suck) but I would still stick with my plan. Of course my very close friends know that I'm hurt and I've said some bad things about my ex to them just never to anyone else. Dinkey-- I know it's easier said the done but get up, go out and enjoy yourself. And who knows, Mr. Right could be right around the corner. Oh and as for regretting some hurtful things you've said to him-- Don't. I started doing the same thing and had to stop. Hasn't he said some hurtful things to you? Like I wrote in my earlier post, if he truly loves you, regardless of what was said, he will be back. In the meantime, enjoy yourself and date other guys! Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Dinkey - you want childish, look in my direction. and my ex is MUCH younger than me, so being called a baby by someone who was in nappies when i was at secondary school is sooo not good. i felt like a right plum. it did do me good though in retrospect, i have made a pact with myself on this. i have since have numerous chances to redeem myself, prove i have thought long & hard about this, which clearly i have, and started to change my behaviour. not started actually, i have. i have done myself proud. 6 weeks down th eline, i am a much more controlled, considerate person. its your choice how you react to this, people lash out when they are hurt, its the easiest reaction, but its counter productive and just pushes the other person further away. and regardless of whether they could ever come back or not, and i do agree with shopgurl that men take longer to get over things than women, although thats a blanket statement, you can certainly do things to start redeeming your self esteem, and i reckon that starts with doing the right thing - and for me doing the right thing was examining myself and working out a way to stop my repetitive behaviour of jumping straight into the next relationship to salve my wounds. getting out and enjoying yourself sounds good to me, it takes a while before i could, but its coming, slowly. and i cooked for the first time tonight - and i even put loud (happy!!) music on and danced as i chopped. that was fun. made me see that being on my own doesnt have to mean an end to the silliness i had packed away in a suitcase with a big sticker on it saying 'misery' good luck girls xx (and mewbomb!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author electricshores Posted October 31, 2003 Author Share Posted October 31, 2003 Well, long time no postie. SORRY! I'm in pa and doing ok. Talking in rhyme a lot today. Haha Havent heard from my ex since my birthday and he was rather civil. Just sent me an IM saying hi and stuff.... Bah. Bastid. How is everyone doing? I promise to post a looooooooooooong essay as soon as i possibly can love to all 'lec Link to post Share on other sites
BraveGirl Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Dear All, First I;m sorry I seemed to hijack your thread a bit Electric (as dinkey). Was new to this, have now learned the etiquette! My own thread is similar 'How do you cope with missing him so much') Re reading it all now, the hurt of it all is so real and I admire you all for expressing it so well. Well done for feeling better, and let us into the secret of how to be strong...! I thought things were getting better a couple of days ago, now I have forgotten the reasons I should be cross with him for hurting me, and am idealising him completely. Does there ever come a time when you don't want to call him up and remind him of the wonderful things you had? But as I lie there crying like I have done esp these last 2 days, you know that is exactly what he would hate, and then comes the selfloathing.. Tell me not to call/ email him!!! I am so on the point of it all the time. How are you all coping?? Link to post Share on other sites
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