pkn06002 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 One more thing to add about becoming "just friends". You will get to hear things that will make you question what you meant to the other person. You will start to question the whole relationship because you now mean less to that person then you did. All hard things on the ego that most people cannot deal with. All along you will foster a feeling of hope that your "friend" will come back to you and not be "just friends" anymore. Short and long just walk away, it is not worth the pain it causes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sigh Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 Look, he does not want to be friends, you can trick yourself into believing that your friendship means so much to him but it doesn't. He just wants to keep you around so one day he can get some action on the side. Everyone always warns women that the guy is not just a friend but you all never get it. That's a whole lot of effort for the possibility of one day getting some action on the side again when he can just have one night stands for some action on the side. He put a lot of effort into our friendship for a long time before anything ever got physical. I'm sorry, I just don't think that someone will do that just for a piece of *ss that might never pan out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sigh Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 My head knows that friendship wouldn't work any time in the near future. It's my heart that's being a whiny little baby. My head needs to beat my heart into submission with a big stick. The pain is so immense that I know I have to just let it go completely for my own sanity. It's funny how the person that you used to run to to help ease pain could cause you so much of it and not even realize it. Why does something that is best for you have to be so hard? I'm afraid that I don't have the strength to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Sigh, but things HAVE changed between you two. It isn't like it was before. ALOT has happened. I mean, this man who didn't cheat and betray his wife before, IS a liar and a cheater now. HE has changed, HE isn't the person you once knew years ago, when you two were 'just friends'. Lines have been crossed, things have happened and been said. You can't be friends with him, it's not fair to you, to him or his wife, especially if he is choosing to stay at home. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 I'm afraid that I don't have the strength to do it. Is the alternative any better? Which is worse? Having him as a friend, knowing the feelings are there, but you can't do anything about it? Can't talk about it, can't express it physically? It's become a selfish friendship now, and I DO believe you're more scared of letting go and dealing with the pain, but what you don't realize is, once you let go, you can start to heal and focus on a goal. Which is healing and getting over him. It's better to hurt because it's a final goodbye, time to move on than deal with the pain of never having him, but having to be in his life for a long time. As I said before, it'll prevent you from opening your heart to someone else and you'll stay as the OW, the rollercoaster ride and all that pain that an A brings along. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 That's a whole lot of effort for the possibility of one day getting some action on the side again when he can just have one night stands for some action on the side. He put a lot of effort into our friendship for a long time before anything ever got physical. I'm sorry, I just don't think that someone will do that just for a piece of *ss that might never pan out. Its not that much effort, we keep girls around with the hope of hooking up with them one day. Where is the effort? Plus he probably thinks he can get with you a lot quicker than "one day". Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Sigh its not a whole lot of effort to be in touch with you. He likes you and he is trying to worm his way back in. And even if he never gets to sleep with you he enjoys the "game". Youve come this far. Dont let this man manipulate you any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sigh Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 I am not going to try the friendship, it will be to hard on me. jj33, you are a good convincer It's going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I have to. I am pretty sure that he only said it to end things smoothly and I will never hear from him again, which is good for me because initiating contact is not my problem, my problem is not responding when he contacts me. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 I am the same. I am pretty good at keeping it to all business but when he contacts me about something personal which is so so rare... I always rose to the bait and communicated tho I did not get back into it. I dont think he will do that anymore. I have warned him off within an inch of his life so I think that chapter is closed. It takes time but you have to start somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 That's a whole lot of effort for the possibility of one day getting some action on the side again when he can just have one night stands for some action on the side. He put a lot of effort into our friendship for a long time before anything ever got physical. I'm sorry, I just don't think that someone will do that just for a piece of *ss that might never pan out. Its not about the piece of aZZ . its about the chase.... Link to post Share on other sites
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