Angel1111 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I will say that you will become more emotionally involved. It is a woman's nature, I am sorry. That was my dilemna - he paid a lot of attention to me, re-arranged his schedule to be with me, and I got more and more emotionally involved. But I couldn't get past feeling insulted that he didn't choose to be with me, and I couldn't get past the guilt. No matter how I tried to rationalize being with him, it never lasted for long and I always ended up right back at the same place. I finally realized that I was just not cut out for that kind of relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim666 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 I believe a man can handle this and an older man who has been through a very long marriage.... A woman, no. Every woman wants the pedestal, every woman wants the devotion and committment, every woman wants the he who chose her. Lizzie60 is fooling herself on this site, always has and always will----and by the way, what is with all these breast-shot-of-the-day avatars??? Insecurity?? Kim, I appreciate where you are coming from, what happened to you, and what you are now experiencing. I have known this in other forms, not OW (rather Long-Distance). I will say that you will become more emotionally involved. It is a woman's nature, I am sorry. DOM I don't think I want to be on a pedestal...I never have and never wanted to be...I am human and I am who I am, nothing more. I don't thnk I will become more emotionally attached...I spent 2 years with my MM before I left him to find what I thought I need a husband and someone who would be there for me always. It never hurt, never bothered me, we had both known from the beginning we could or would end it when either of us chose to. We have picked back up where we left off...I had more conversation with this man in 2 weeks of on and off again phone calls and the one Saturday then I did in my entire marriage to my husband. I made a mistake thinking I needed more then what I had before I left my affair. At the time I listened to people who were telling me some of what has been said here...you need more, you are a home wrecker, you need a man who will always be there. Know what??? I don't. I like things this way, it may sound strange to a lot of people and yes prehaps some will say I am fooling myself, but I am happy the way things are with no pressure and no hassle. Thank you Lakeside for showing me the other side and for realizing that there are others like me who can be happy in one of these relationships without looking for more. Link to post Share on other sites
blueberry Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Lizzie60 is fooling herself on this site, always has and always will----and by the way, what is with all these breast-shot-of-the-day avatars??? Insecurity? DOM WOAH! Back off with the personal attacks. Lizzie60 IS. That doesn't need justifying to you. Link to post Share on other sites
blueberry Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Lizzie60 is fooling herself on this site, always has and always will---- DOM "Always has always will" eh? Sounds like you know her? Must be, because you sure haven't been here long enough to judge Mr "joined Feb 08". Back it up a little yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
loveORlogic Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Angel you are probably right ... I am there because it is safe. I know from past experience that he would never lay a hand on me or say a harsh word to me. As for the you loveORlogic...you seem to "assume" I do not know what I am doing or the consequences of my actions, that is where you are very wrong. I have no problems admitting that what I am doing is wrong or will probably hurt others but at the same time it is where I need to be. As for settling, I am not settling for anything, I am exactly right where I want to be..with someone who will let me live my life, someone who will never lay a hand on me, say a cruel word to me or do anything to hurt me physically or mentally in any way. I am sorry if you think that is settling but after being in a place that was extremely horrible for a very long time this is where I want to be. I can honestly say that I never want to marry or even live with a man ever again. If that makes what I am doing wrong, so be it Yes you got it right, i did assume that you didn't fully understand the damage you were spreading to others to achieve your own and personal happiness. Just because its hard for me to accept that someone can find happiness when this happiness its tied with making others suffer. I guess i have nothing more to say after being cleared you dont care what you doing to others while achieving your own comfort out of their suffering. I just hope some day you will change this attitude. Sincerly, loveORlogic Link to post Share on other sites
agate Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 CONGRATULATIONS! i'm glad you are now in a R That makes you happy, regardless of the negative social stigma attached to it. That stigma is taught, not born with us and many different cultures have, and do, have a completely different take on it. i have a nasty x as will, and an in a fabulous A. i'd also like to say that just because i have fallen deeply in with my mm in no way means i want him to suddenly get a D etc. I am perfectly happy the way things are. do what is right for you and be happy Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I don't think I want to be on a pedestal...I never have and never wanted to be...I am human and I am who I am, nothing more. I don't thnk I will become more emotionally attached...I spent 2 years with my MM before I left him to find what I thought I need a husband and someone who would be there for me always. It never hurt, never bothered me, we had both known from the beginning we could or would end it when either of us chose to. We have picked back up where we left off...I had more conversation with this man in 2 weeks of on and off again phone calls and the one Saturday then I did in my entire marriage to my husband. I made a mistake thinking I needed more then what I had before I left my affair. At the time I listened to people who were telling me some of what has been said here...you need more, you are a home wrecker, you need a man who will always be there. Know what??? I don't. I like things this way, it may sound strange to a lot of people and yes prehaps some will say I am fooling myself, but I am happy the way things are with no pressure and no hassle. Thank you Lakeside for showing me the other side and for realizing that there are others like me who can be happy in one of these relationships without looking for more. I think you know exactly what you want and are very happy with this situation. Sometimes I wish I could've been that way but I know myself too well. You have no delusions about him leaving his marriage, or anything along those lines. After your awful marriage, you deserve this happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim666 Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Yes you got it right, i did assume that you didn't fully understand the damage you were spreading to others to achieve your own and personal happiness. Just because its hard for me to accept that someone can find happiness when this happiness its tied with making others suffer. I guess i have nothing more to say after being cleared you dont care what you doing to others while achieving your own comfort out of their suffering. I just hope some day you will change this attitude. Sincerly, loveORlogic I am not sure why you feel the need to be so hostile. Everyone has their own reasons for doing things and I am wondering if there is not something that you have done that other people would consider wrong by society's standards. I feel no need to change my attitude I am for the first time in a long time happy and if you for one second think I am doing something that is hurting someone else you are wrong. She chooses to stay..in case you forget the W has rights to and can leave just as well as the H, since she knows about me and has known about the others, whom am I hurting. I want to thank the others for their kind words and support. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I am not sure why you feel the need to be so hostile. The best way to handle these kinds of people is to simply ignore their posts whenever you see their name. Don't read and don't engage in these discussions. It's a free world - they get to say whatever they want, and you get to ignore it. Link to post Share on other sites
loveORlogic Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I am not sure why you feel the need to be so hostile. Everyone has their own reasons for doing things and I am wondering if there is not something that you have done that other people would consider wrong by society's standards. I feel no need to change my attitude I am for the first time in a long time happy and if you for one second think I am doing something that is hurting someone else you are wrong. She chooses to stay..in case you forget the W has rights to and can leave just as well as the H, since she knows about me and has known about the others, whom am I hurting. I want to thank the others for their kind words and support. I am sorry, i dont mean to come out as hostile,but maybe you right and i do come out as hostile. You are indeed hurting the W, but has you said he can also leave the marriage, for some reason she is not leaving, and i find it hard to believe that him cheating her is not hurting her, i don't see a reason for her to stay unless for hope of him to change is ways. Link to post Share on other sites
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