Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 This is either "trolling" or just plain insanity! I too have my medical card so, nothing from me on that. but, I ALSO have a job and don't want to nor do I live with my parents. You two thought about setting up shop and peddling that smoke? You could be like the show "weeds"..haha!and Now ALL her supporters are running for the hills also..this threads full of CRAZY!!! Actually, my son rented the whole series of Weed and watched it. He insisted to go to Oaksterdam University to learn about the science of cultivating weed, but I discouraged him because the courses were 500 dollars for a weekend. And he also wanted me to go with him to manifest for that Canadian guy that sold seeds in the US, Marc Emery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 I think it's important for you to realize that if you do not get yourself in order, you might doom not only you but your son as well on a terrible path. Yeah, we'll see. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I have read somewhere that around 70-80% of people have smoked weed at some point in their life. Do you seriously think that A's son would have never smoked weed if it wasn't for A? At least she can monitor him at home and he doesn't get up to anything. I don't think that weed, by itself is such a huge deal. I would love to see A's life take a more positive turn but am not sure how to help except for being her friend and being there for her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 I would love to see A's life take a more positive turn but am not sure how to help except for being her friend and being there for her Is ok, I live on the edge. And thanks. :love: Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 The problem today Ariadne is the edge isn't a good place to be while you are Unemployed, Stoned all day and have a son who has no motivation to get a job as well because you have him stoned all the time too.. Neither of you will move your life forward in a positive manner unless you put the smoke down and get real about the situation your life will become when your unemployment runs out. You can sit there and debate weed's effects till the cows come home but believing that weed should be legalized and not finding work while toking more weed is only going to go in one direction.. down.. Since weed takes away your motivation and you want to veg out then go figure that your son sits there all day on a video game. Weed isn't the worst drug in the world but it will be g** damn destructive to you and your son's life while they are in this fragile time and the last thing you both should be doing is putting a drug in your bodies that takes away your drive and initiative which you so need right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I would love to see A's life take a more positive turn but am not sure how to help except for being her friend and being there for her Try some non enabling behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Neither of you will move your life forward in a positive manner unless you put the smoke down and get real about the situation your life will become when your unemployment runs out. Yeah, I gotta say I agree. There's a difference between muddling through in a way that doesn't seem to make sense to someone else, and actively making decisions that aren't in the best interest of you or your son -- especially when the situation you're in is already unstable. Now I don't think there's any point in telling someone they should-or-shouldn't-have done something, because you can't go back. But the reality is unfortunate, and I hope you & your son can find your way out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Try some non enabling behavior. I do not believe in tough love. Me and A have some similarities in our personalities and I know tough love has never worked for me. In fact, when tried on me it made me become even more self destructive. I believe that unconditional love and acceptance can achieve a lot more here. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Me and A are willing to listen and consider any advice that doesn't go the simplistic route: stop smoking weed, get a job, move on from DG. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I'm not talking tough love.. you can be a good friend to her and not enable her behavior all at the same time.. There is a difference with "it's okay Adriane.. that is the way you are" and "Ariadne.. you need to think of the serious consequences of your actions regarding your son and the damage you are doing to him" One is an enabling and the other isn't and the one that isn't is not tough love Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Me and A are willing to listen and consider any advice that doesn't go the simplistic route: stop smoking weed, get a job, move on from DG. What exactly would you have people offer other than those three? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Me and A are willing to listen and consider any advice that doesn't go the simplistic route: stop smoking weed, get a job, move on from DG. What do you mean ME and A ? Is this thread about you ? Are you her son ? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 What do you mean ME and A ? Is this thread about you ? Are you her son ? I was wondering the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 What do you mean ME and A ? Is this thread about you ? Are you her son ? LOL, no AC. I am her close friend. I meant me and A because we can discuss the advice offered in private and see if it's suitable. I want to help A and am willing to consider better ways of helping than what I have been doing so far. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 LOL, no AC. I am her close friend. I meant me and A because we can discuss the advice offered in private and see if it's suitable. I want to help A and am willing to consider better ways of helping than what I have been doing so far. Have you considered that your way of helping A is actually hurting her? Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I'm not talking tough love.. you can be a good friend to her and not enable her behavior all at the same time.. There is a difference with "it's okay Adriane.. that is the way you are" and "Ariadne.. you need to think of the serious consequences of your actions regarding your son and the damage you are doing to him" One is an enabling and the other isn't and the one that isn't is not tough love I think that she already has a friend and her parents that say exactly this. It doesn't seem to be working. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Have you considered that your way of helping A is actually hurting her? I have..it just hit me....I think that might be something to look at SAC.. SAC.. if you think that Ariadne isn't capable of accepting advice without you then I can guarantee you that you are enabling her behavior and doing her more harm than good. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Have you considered that your way of helping A is actually hurting her? Yes, it is possible. What do you suggest that I do? Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Ariadne, when was the last time you felt motivated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 The problem today Ariadne is the edge isn't a good place to be while you are Unemployed, Stoned all day and have a son who has no motivation to get a job as well because you have him stoned all the time too.. Yeah... The whole thing is a fantasy. Right now he is with the gf in his room, and she came to spend the weekend. I just went to buy Indian food, and served them in a tray the different samples. Life is good, but who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I'll get a job, last time I was unemployed for three years. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 LOL, no AC. I am her close friend. I meant me and A because we can discuss the advice offered in private and see if it's suitable. I want to help A and am willing to consider better ways of helping than what I have been doing so far. Maybe you should try and listen to some of the advice that is given without your own filter on.. It seems you have rose colored glasses on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I have..it just hit me....I think that might be something to look at SAC.. SAC.. if you think that Ariadne isn't capable of accepting advice without you then I can guarantee you that you are enabling her behavior and doing her more harm than good. It's not that she is not capable, but I think it's helpful to have someone to discuss offered advice if she wishes to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 But the reality is unfortunate, and I hope you & your son can find your way out of this. Thank you Pink. It's even hard to talk to my parents lately, because for them is all bad news. We don't even have relatives here, friends, or medical or dental insurance either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 What do you mean ME and A ? Is this thread about you ? Are you her son ? SaC is a good friend of mine and we are very similar, like twins. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Yes, it is possible. What do you suggest that I do? I can start by telling you what not to do. Stop telling her it's all ok and its true love and that it's okay. It is not okay to obsess over someone who does not respond to you for years on end, it is unhealthy and damaging. It is not okay to sit around and smoke weed while your out of a job and worried about where you will live next month or next week. It is not okay to build these relationships with your child where you are helping to influence them toward unhealthy life-style choices. STOP telling her it's all okay... Say A... This is not OK. How can I help you not to do this anymore? NOT OKAY. What do you need to be able to move on? Does she need someone to talk her through times when she wants to contact DG? Does she need help finding the nearest NA program? Do that for her if you are her friend. The only reason to keep telling her that it's okay is if you want to see her fail in life. Link to post Share on other sites
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