Friend Duty

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I actually LIKE friend duty! It makes me feel good to be a useful friend. I also always show up a few hours before their arrival and turn the thermostat on a comfortable setting. If they've been gone for a while then I also stock the fridge with fresh milk, bread, lunch meat and fruit so they have a few days to recoup before heading to the store. If I happen to have a meal I've prepared and frozen then I'll take that over as well so that they don't have to cook that evening! As a child my father and some of the other men in the neighborhood would team up and mow the lawn of a family that was returning from a trip. Things just aren't the same these days I guess.

 

 

Ofcourse, I'm the neighbor that will wave down the trashman when I realize that someone forgot to put their trash out the night before. Maybe it has to do with being born and raised in the south.

[Trimmer]

OK. I am sorry too that I got it the wrong way. It happens on these forums all the time. Especially early in the morning, at 11,30 a.m.

Yeah, I like to be up and going by the crack of noon! All good then...

 

I actually LIKE friend duty! It makes me feel good to be a useful friend. I also always show up a few hours before their arrival and turn the thermostat on a comfortable setting. If they've been gone for a while then I also stock the fridge with fresh milk, bread, lunch meat and fruit so they have a few days to recoup before heading to the store. If I happen to have a meal I've prepared and frozen then I'll take that over as well so that they don't have to cook that evening! As a child my father and some of the other men in the neighborhood would team up and mow the lawn of a family that was returning from a trip. Things just aren't the same these days I guess.

 

 

Ofcourse, I'm the neighbor that will wave down the trashman when I realize that someone forgot to put their trash out the night before. Maybe it has to do with being born and raised in the south.

I'm kind of the same - I'm glad to step in for my friends, although most of those for whom I would do that are similarly willing to do it in return. And I don't think any of us would just assume we were entitled to the service; it's more like "If you're around and you have time, could you..."

[donnamaybe]

Maybe several friends could each take a week's worth of duty. That way YOU aren't stuck with this the entire time he's gone.

[RecordProducer]

Maybe several friends could each take a week's worth of duty. That way YOU aren't stuck with this the entire time he's gone.

 

So, now Johan has to make a list of all their mutual friends, call them, make a watering schedule in Windows Excel, forward it to everyone, call to make sure they got it; then make another schedule, in case somebody can't make it. He also needs to communicate with everyone to see if any of the mail people collected needs urgent attention.

 

Johan - the plant manager.

[donnamaybe]

So, now Johan has to call all his friends, make a schedule in Windows Excel, forward it to everyone, call to make sure they got it; then make another schedule, in case somebody can't make it. He also needs to communicate with everyone to see if any of the mail people collected needs urgent attention.

 

Johan - the plant manager.

 

I don't think it would have to be THAT elaborate a plan. And of course it would be up to the guy going on vacation. All Johan need know is which week is his and who to give the key to when his week is up. Of course some might think it's better to just tell his friend to f off. I don't know any friends of mine who would act like that.

[RecordProducer]

I actually LIKE friend duty! It makes me feel good to be a useful friend... Maybe it has to do with being born and raised in the south.

If any of your neighbors are selling their house, I'd like to buy it.

 

Yes, local mentality has to do with "neighborship." I knew a woman whose neighbors would knock on her door and tell her "X told me your TV was broken, let me try and repair it." But these same neighbors, on whom she could always count, would knock on her door anytime about anything, except if she had guests at home. She craved privacy. I am not saying that's how it goes in your area though.

 

In NYC people don't even say "hello" to their negihbors, which I find pretty odd and cold. Nonetheless, my first neighbor and I never say hi to each other. We would if we would come close, but if he is in his driveway and I am getting in my car, he ignores me and I don't mind. I like privacy. My neighbors who live two houses away, told me one day "We saw your brother-in-law the other day." I said it wasn't my BIL, it was the neighbor across, who came to ask my sons to go out and play with his son. They said "Oh! Handsome guy!" Well, trust me, I was thinking that I should probably invite him in the house, but then thought to myself that the neighbors will start making up stories that we're having an affair or something, so I didn't. Apparently, I wasn't far from the truth. The guy is married with two kids.

 

If a neighbor becomes my friend, that's fine. I invited a neighbor to visit me twice, but she never did. I prefer that to her coming over to my house whenever she's bored. If somebody has a pool, every kid from the street has a "free membership" there throughout the summer. That doesn't work for me.

 

I don't think it would have to be THAT elaborate a plan. And of course it would be up to the guy going on vacation. All Johan need know is which week is his and who to give the key to when his week is up. Of course some might think it's better to just tell his friend to f off. I don't know any friends of mine who would act like that.

I was just joking. The idea is actually good.

 

I wouldn't mind watering neighbors' plants, but I would mind something annoying. I know a person who asks her friend to walk her dogs 3 times a day when she's away. They are good friends, but this woman leaves for a couple weeks and the other one walks 10 minutes to her house (she doesn't drive) to walk her dogs. That's around two hours per day invested. I think that's a little bit too much. No, she can't afford to pay someone for the service, she is broke (the dog owner). Her friend actually doesn't mind it or at least doesn't complain, but I would mind it.

[Nemo]

the two of you are insulting me personally,

No, just me.

[donnamaybe]

I was just joking. The idea is actually good.

 

Sorry. Getting close to PMS time.

[Trialbyfire]

What I'm curious about with johan, is if it's a situation of:

 

1. Assumption of obligation.
   
2. The obligation itself.
   
3. The time and effort it takes to perform tasks, where that wastage could be put towards something more productive within his own sphere of influence.
   
4. A differing view of what friendship entails.
   
5. A disinterest in helping others in general.
   
6. Personal disgruntlement over self, being unable to say no.
   

A combination of some or all the above.

[Nemo]

Talk about a ridiculously long-winded analysis!! He's just lazy, people. The energy expended on this trivial thread could have watered 1000 flower gardens. Take a seat, have a cup of tea, and wind back down.

[donnamaybe]

Talk about a ridiculously long-winded analysis!! He's just lazy, people. The energy expended on this trivial thread could have watered 1000 flower gardens. Take a seat, have a cup of tea, and wind back down.

 

I'm going on a month long tour of Europe and need someone to scoop my litter box, feed my cats, collect my mail, and water my plants. Want the job?

[Trialbyfire]

Nemo, it took about 2 minutes to come up with the analysis. Not a big deal. It took me longer to continue amending this post to you, so it falls within LS guidelines.

 

johan usually posts either things that bother him or what he finds ironical. It appears that this thread encompasses the former.

[RecordProducer]

No, just me.

Hahah!

 

Sorry. Getting close to PMS time.

Neah, maybe I came off as if making fun of your idea.

 

C'mon, we PMS (that's a verb ) 365 days per year. The PMS was invented by men who needed to blame something for their ladies' bitchin' (cuz of course, it's not their fault).

 

 

We LS-ers always complicate things. A woman comes to the forum and wonders if her husband is having an affair because he quickly closed the Outlook window when she approached him. The advice is usually: hire a PI and consult a lawyer. People forget that she first needs to repair her credit score and take a loan in order to pay the PI and the lawyer!

(26 posts later, her husband moves in with his pregnant mistress and the wife really needs a lawyer)

[Nemo]

I'm going on a month long tour of Europe and need someone to scoop my litter box, feed my cats, collect my mail, and water my plants. Want the job?

Sorry. I considered it, just because it's you, but then I had to face reality. I'm too lazy. I would need some sort of incentive.

[RecordProducer]

What I'm curious about with johan, is if it's a situation of:

 

1. Assumption of obligation.
   
2. The obligation itself.
   
3. The time and effort it takes to perform tasks, where that wastage could be put towards something more productive within his own sphere of influence.
   
4. A differing view of what friendship entails.
   
5. A disinterest in helping others in general.
   
6. Personal disgruntlement over self, being unable to say no.
   

A combination of some or all the above.

Wow! The formal language is soooo cute. Seriously.

 

 

Johan, you could use this for your job resume, especially this part: A disinterest in helping others in general.

 

Talk about a ridiculously long-winded analysis!! He's just lazy, people. The energy expended on this trivial thread could have watered 1000 flower gardens.

Hahahahahaha! :lmao:

[jerbear]

 

Johan, you could use this for your job resume, especially this part: A disinterest in helping others in general.

 

You mean political career?

[RecordProducer]

Sorry. I considered it, just because it's you, but then I had to face reality. I'm too lazy. I would need some sort of incentive.

I think many people (not necessarily in this thread, just in general) are not honest with themselves about their interest in helping others.

 

For example, my husband once asked his brother to baby-sit our kids for an hour and on the same day later, his wife (SIL) tells me NOT to ask her to baby-sit my kids (I didn't ask her). A few minutes later, she tells me "I always try to help if I can and I never ask for favors." Note that my husband has baby-sat her children many, many times. So he was good to baby-sit her kids for years, but the moment he got kids, she can't return the favor. Yet she talks how SHE helps and never asks others for help.

 

I guess lying is the cheapest way of creating a good image.

[RecordProducer]

You mean political career?

They would probably tell him "Your skills do match our requirements, but your honesty speaks of insufficient experience in the political sphere."

[Trimmer]

Nemo, it took about 2 minutes to come up with the analysis. Not a big deal. It took me longer to continue amending this post to you, so it falls within LS guidelines.

!!!!!! LMFAO !!!!!

[Trialbyfire]

Wow! The formal language is soooo cute. Seriously.

Try growing up with an English teacher for a mother and then partnering with two Securities lawyers. Their English Nazi-ism doesn't allow informality unless you sneak in the odd eff u, in white font!

 

!!!!!! LMFAO !!!!! :lmao:

Nemo likes to give it, hence it never hurts for him to receive it up the butt. Return of services is what friendship is all about.

[Nemo]

Nemo, it took about 2 minutes to come

I have to admit, that's very impressive.

 

Anyway, I apologise if you felt I was telling you where to get off. You obviously know your way around, and your analysis has yet again proven to be right on the money.

[Trialbyfire]

Nemo, you're a genius when it comes to humour. You have my admiration in this respect.

 

If you could take it as well as you enjoy dishing it out, as a friend, you'd be an even greater genius. Razor sharp humour is really double-edged.

 

It seems that everyone has their own interpretation of a friend, whether it's as an acquaintance, a friend of convenience, a close friend or a co-dependent situation.

 

johan, maybe that's what you need to clarify with your friend. What type of friendship you want.

[whichwayisup]

I have a friend who is leaving the country for several weeks. He needs someone to check his mail and water his plants while he's gone. I honestly don't want to be bothered with it. I did it before, and felt is was ridiculous. I think if you're going to plan something like that, then you should be self-sufficient about it and not make it everyone else's trip, too.

He can deliver the plants to your house so you can water them, and ask a neighbour to take in his mail. Or he can go the post office and cancel his mail for afew weeks.

 

I understand that you can't be bothered, but how close does this guy live from you? If it's really out your way, I can see why it's a pain...But if he is close by, what's the big deal? Why did you feel it was ridiculous?

[Touche]

It seems that everyone has their own interpretation of a friend,

 

So true, so true.

[Mary3]

you should get at least a box of chocolates out of it. Maybe even a blowjob.

 

lol .....................