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*cry...darn it, i've pulled through


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serenityprayer

So we've all dealt with some sort of heartache of being dumped, having someone cheat on us or being the cheater, perhaps a death, or verbal/emotional abuse-the list goes on.

 

Today I have the privilege of sharing my utmost accomplishment with you. I've been struggling to get over my first love for two years. Getting to a point where I do not feel hurt when I think about him was a long process, but I've made it. The two years were very difficult. I'd find myself crying and wanting to be held by him badly, but knowing he's with another, perhaps making love drove me nuts. I couldn't exactly say that I loved him-sure in the name of love I'd profess I longed for him, but deep in my heart, it was a control issue. Control issue of simply wanting something I cannot have. And today, I set myself free, taking control of my decisions and taking a stance on what I truly want in life.

 

Yesterday all I wanted was for him to commit and be close in proximity. Yesterday all I wanted was to be his.

 

Today, I don't want anything to do with him. I am so genuinely happy.

 

I didn't get over my heartache in a heartbeat. It took 2 years. Perhaps I'll encounter a relapse and long for him. But I know that even though I do, I'm going to pull through, Again, and fight for my internal happiness.

 

To Him: Thank you for everything we've shared. I finally set you free willingly. As I venture through this exciting life, I give you my blessings. I'll pray for you from a distance. I've come to accept that our relationship came to an end a long time ago and I'm at peace with it. I'm genuinely happy. Good bye.

 

'What is Faith? It is the confident assurance that something is going to happen> It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead."

-Hebrews 11:1

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