I don't know anymore

[dylanatalanta]

Hi

 

I started having an affair with my MM 9 months ago, he is 13 years my senior.

 

He has been M for 26 years & has 2 grown children that live away from home.

 

We have know each other for 4 years & a mutual attraction was always apparent but nothing happened until October of last year, we started talking on e-mail & after many, many e-mails he invited me out for a drink, I refused at first & after a few more invitations I foolishly accepted.

 

I asked him on our first date why he was doing this & he replied that even though he loved his W they had been unhappy for the last couple of years.

 

Within a few weeks I was besotted by him & him by me.

 

We talked for hours on the phone every day, several txt messages daily, up to 90 txt messages on weekends, & endless e-mails.

 

He said that he would leave his W in April on the return of their holiday & after his daughters graduation.

 

At xmas I sent him an innocent txt & his W found it, the day after he rang me & told me he had told his W that it was just a friendship, she was upset but believed him & sent him out to phone me & tell me our 'friendship' was over, when he returned to work after the xmas holidays we continued our relationship.

 

In March I was on a girls night out & I txt him, the next morning (Mothers Day) his W rang me & told me she had found the txt & wanted to know what was going on, I told her that I had been having an affair with her H since the November, after several phone calls from him & her that day he came round on the evening & told me she had told their children & they had basically disowned him, ther had been screaming & shouting all day, he told me that his heart told him he wanted to be with me & that he would go home, try & calm his family down & he would be back, the following morning he rang me & told me that he realised how much he loved his W & that it was over between us.

 

Two weeks later I received an e-mail from him & our affair continued albeit mainly e-mails & phone, his W had made him change his number & to this day I still don't know it.

 

At the end of March they went on holiday & on the day of their return 3 weeks later I received a txt from his W warning me to stay away from her H & implying that I was no more than a prostitute, I did not retaliate but I did tell her that her H had contacted me & that he told me he would always love me.

 

On the 1st May he contacted me again & again our affair started, 2 weeks later he told me that he could not live like this & had made a decision to be with me, he said he could not have an affair & until he was with me could not have a physical relationship. He said that he would leave his W on the 1st July, which true to his word on the 1st July he showed up on my doorstep with all his belongings, he had left his W & children letters explaining what he had done.

 

After a couple of hours his W started calling him & I could hear her on the phone begging him to go home & that unless he did she knew my address & would come over, he said that he had to go & see her face to face & that he would be back later that evening, I knew if he left he wouldn't come back but didn't want to stop him, 3 hours later he rang me from an un-known number & told me they had talked & that he loved her & that we were over.

 

Again a week later he has e-mailed me & we have met several times, he has told me he can't commit, stupidly part of me is hanging on just in case, maybe next time he'll stay!!!

 

He says as he has done a hundred times before that he can't live without me.

 

For the last 9 months I have felt ashamed of myself for what I am doing to another woman, but I'm into deep I love him & can't walk away.

[wildsoul]

Hi there. Welcome to the club. There are nice people here, providing cookies and strong advice. Please have a seat.

 

What you've been through sounds like hell. Heartbreaking to read, actually. I don't know how you managed to get through that July 1 incident. I think that would have killed me.

 

It's good you are brave enough to get past the shame enough to reach out for support. There's a ton of info in these posts. I'm new here too, but what struck me most is how almost all the stories are the same. Sure, there's a couple variations on the theme. But you'll soon realize, if you haven't already, that these A (affair) dynamics run in consistant patterns. Starting to see that helps a lot. Because unique as your story might seem, it's not really. So us newbies can learn from the others who've already been down these roads.

 

(((hugs)))

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

OMG this must be sooooo confusing for you - I cant believe the guy actually turned up on your doorstep with his belongings then still went back to the W!

Must have been like going through absolute hell - so near yet so far - almost being together properly. I really feel for you.

Sounds like its his wife he cant really live without as he always seems to end up going back to her like a boomerang. Either that or he is too cowardly to leave her for the unknown. Or maybe just doesnt know what he wants.

I know it would be very hard to finish it for good with the MM as you love him so much but how long are you prepared to be left hanging on? Its not fair on you, this could go on forever - if he seriously wants to leave her tell him next time he turns up on your doorstep he needs to show you his divorce papers!

[SeaBrooke]

I can't imagine it getting any more painful than that. I am so sorry for all the hurt and pain you are going through.

[Kamikaze]

Hi

 

I started having an affair with my MM 9 months ago, he is 13 years my senior.

 

He has been M for 26 years & has 2 grown children that live away from home.

 

We have know each other for 4 years & a mutual attraction was always apparent but nothing happened until October of last year, we started talking on e-mail & after many, many e-mails he invited me out for a drink, I refused at first & after a few more invitations I foolishly accepted.

 

I asked him on our first date why he was doing this & he replied that even though he loved his W they had been unhappy for the last couple of years.

 

Within a few weeks I was besotted by him & him by me.

 

We talked for hours on the phone every day, several txt messages daily, up to 90 txt messages on weekends, & endless e-mails.

 

He said that he would leave his W in April on the return of their holiday & after his daughters graduation.

 

At xmas I sent him an innocent txt & his W found it, the day after he rang me & told me he had told his W that it was just a friendship, she was upset but believed him & sent him out to phone me & tell me our 'friendship' was over, when he returned to work after the xmas holidays we continued our relationship.

 

In March I was on a girls night out & I txt him, the next morning (Mothers Day) his W rang me & told me she had found the txt & wanted to know what was going on, I told her that I had been having an affair with her H since the November, after several phone calls from him & her that day he came round on the evening & told me she had told their children & they had basically disowned him, ther had been screaming & shouting all day, he told me that his heart told him he wanted to be with me & that he would go home, try & calm his family down & he would be back, the following morning he rang me & told me that he realised how much he loved his W & that it was over between us.

 

Two weeks later I received an e-mail from him & our affair continued albeit mainly e-mails & phone, his W had made him change his number & to this day I still don't know it.

 

At the end of March they went on holiday & on the day of their return 3 weeks later I received a txt from his W warning me to stay away from her H & implying that I was no more than a prostitute, I did not retaliate but I did tell her that her H had contacted me & that he told me he would always love me.

 

On the 1st May he contacted me again & again our affair started, 2 weeks later he told me that he could not live like this & had made a decision to be with me, he said he could not have an affair & until he was with me could not have a physical relationship. He said that he would leave his W on the 1st July, which true to his word on the 1st July he showed up on my doorstep with all his belongings, he had left his W & children letters explaining what he had done.

 

After a couple of hours his W started calling him & I could hear her on the phone begging him to go home & that unless he did she knew my address & would come over, he said that he had to go & see her face to face & that he would be back later that evening, I knew if he left he wouldn't come back but didn't want to stop him, 3 hours later he rang me from an un-known number & told me they had talked & that he loved her & that we were over.

 

Again a week later he has e-mailed me & we have met several times, he has told me he can't commit, stupidly part of me is hanging on just in case, maybe next time he'll stay!!!

 

He says as he has done a hundred times before that he can't live without me.

 

For the last 9 months I have felt ashamed of myself for what I am doing to another woman, but I'm into deep I love him & can't walk away.

 

Wow! I know just how you feel. I had been with my MM for 29 years! The W found out twice and both time guess what? He went back to her. My MM reason was his grown kids - not living at home - but, they too told him that they would never speak to him again if he left their mother.

 

Your married man - He is NOT going to leave her. So, you must decide if you can live with what you have been doing with him forever - or if you want more.

 

I am married also and have decided to get a divorce and live alone. But, this is my choice. I do not know how old you are. I can tell you - no matter how wonderful you think he is - there is someone better for you - because there is someone who is not married.

 

The next time you talk to him tell him that you deserve more. Then cut off ALL communication with him. Change your phone number, email, everything. Disappear from his life. If he contacts you - tell his wife.

 

I would not tell you to do this if I did not know that this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Next, find a therapist and find out what needs this man met. There is something missing from your life - then, find a different way to have these needs met.

 

We are all here to help you and all you have to do is post. It is hard hard hard! You will think you are going crazy - you will not!

 

Kami

[bentnotbroken]

Why does this story sound familiar? Kind of like Shellz.

[troubadour]

Bentnotbroken, they all sound familiar because stupidity is a quite common thing... expecially when it comes to love.

[me003]

Sorry to hear your story, All stories have the same pattern with few variations. my xMM would make me feel bad whenever I broke it off. He always did things to make me go back. I would be miserable having to even say the words that I was breaking up, and then to just cry again because he told me how much he loved me and couldn't live with out me. How I made him so happy, How I was his sweet distraction, How he was giving me HIS free side. That he rather spend his free time with me instead of doing things for him (This always made me melt like an idiot)

 

Truth is, he will always go back to his W. No matter what, W will be it for him, unless SHE chooses to kick him out on his a$$.

 

Save your self further pain, It may feel like you can't possibly feel anymore pain, but when you see years and year go by, letting wonderful possible partner pass you by, you will see just how you were under a dark cloud.

 

Please , just get out NOW while you can. PLEASE just get out of it for you.

[White Flower]

Bentnotbroken, they all sound familiar because stupidity is a quite common thing... expecially when it comes to love.

Oh come on, be nice:p

 

dylanatatlanta,

 

Drama, drama, drama! Go rent....Rent! or something! Just kidding, but this guy sounds wishy/washy to the extreme. What are you getting out of it? Is it the crash hot sex? The drama? The illicitness? Or do you really love this guy?

 

Maybe there is a draw to him because of the severity of his actions. Him trapsing accross town to your place and announcing it to his family maybe made you feel special? And to take the special feeling away the very same night on his return home.......did that feel like a slap in the face? I'll bet it made his W feel special; the chosen one? Your story is the exaggeration of most of ours.

 

Like Kami says, decide what it is you are getting from this R and try to get that elsewhere. Good luck.

[dylanatalanta]

Wow! I know just how you feel. I had been with my MM for 29 years! The W found out twice and both time guess what? He went back to her. My MM reason was his grown kids - not living at home - but, they too told him that they would never speak to him again if he left their mother.

 

Your married man - He is NOT going to leave her. So, you must decide if you can live with what you have been doing with him forever - or if you want more.

 

I am married also and have decided to get a divorce and live alone. But, this is my choice. I do not know how old you are. I can tell you - no matter how wonderful you think he is - there is someone better for you - because there is someone who is not married.

 

The next time you talk to him tell him that you deserve more. Then cut off ALL communication with him. Change your phone number, email, everything. Disappear from his life. If he contacts you - tell his wife.

 

I would not tell you to do this if I did not know that this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Next, find a therapist and find out what needs this man met. There is something missing from your life - then, find a different way to have these needs met.

 

We are all here to help you and all you have to do is post. It is hard hard hard! You will think you are going crazy - you will not!

 

Kami

 

Hi & thank you!!

 

I have told his wife in the past, when she found out in March & he had decides to stay with her she rang me & told me he had never loved me, I gave her my e-mail log-in & password details so she could read for herself, there was quite a bit of pillow talk but mainly plans of a future together, 99 out of 100 was signed off from him I love you more than anything. She is never going to kick him out, why I don't know especially after finding out 3 times that he has returned.

[dylanatalanta]

Sorry to hear your story, All stories have the same pattern with few variations. my xMM would make me feel bad whenever I broke it off. He always did things to make me go back. I would be miserable having to even say the words that I was breaking up, and then to just cry again because he told me how much he loved me and couldn't live with out me. How I made him so happy, How I was his sweet distraction, How he was giving me HIS free side. That he rather spend his free time with me instead of doing things for him (This always made me melt like an idiot)

 

Truth is, he will always go back to his W. No matter what, W will be it for him, unless SHE chooses to kick him out on his a$$.

 

Save your self further pain, It may feel like you can't possibly feel anymore pain, but when you see years and year go by, letting wonderful possible partner pass you by, you will see just how you were under a dark cloud.

 

Please , just get out NOW while you can. PLEASE just get out of it for you.

 

Thanks

 

I can't believe the hold he has over me, feel crap admitting to that!!!!

[dylanatalanta]

Wow! I know just how you feel. I had been with my MM for 29 years! The W found out twice and both time guess what? He went back to her. My MM reason was his grown kids - not living at home - but, they too told him that they would never speak to him again if he left their mother.

 

Your married man - He is NOT going to leave her. So, you must decide if you can live with what you have been doing with him forever - or if you want more.

 

I am married also and have decided to get a divorce and live alone. But, this is my choice. I do not know how old you are. I can tell you - no matter how wonderful you think he is - there is someone better for you - because there is someone who is not married.

 

The next time you talk to him tell him that you deserve more. Then cut off ALL communication with him. Change your phone number, email, everything. Disappear from his life. If he contacts you - tell his wife.

 

I would not tell you to do this if I did not know that this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Next, find a therapist and find out what needs this man met. There is something missing from your life - then, find a different way to have these needs met.

 

We are all here to help you and all you have to do is post. It is hard hard hard! You will think you are going crazy - you will not!

 

Kami

Oops sorry I'm 33 & he is 46 his W is also 46

[dylanatalanta]

Oh come on, be nice:p

 

dylanatatlanta,

 

Drama, drama, drama! Go rent....Rent! or something! Just kidding, but this guy sounds wishy/washy to the extreme. What are you getting out of it? Is it the crash hot sex? The drama? The illicitness? Or do you really love this guy?

 

Maybe there is a draw to him because of the severity of his actions. Him trapsing accross town to your place and announcing it to his family maybe made you feel special? And to take the special feeling away the very same night on his return home.......did that feel like a slap in the face? I'll bet it made his W feel special; the chosen one? Your story is the exaggeration of most of ours.

 

Like Kami says, decide what it is you are getting from this R and try to get that elsewhere. Good luck.

 

Head over heels for him!!!!

 

Yes it was def a slap in the face & it stung big time!!

 

Part of me feels (the bitchy side) that she won & is laughing, she txt me a couple of times when she found out in March & told me he never loved me, I felt like telling her it didn't seem like he loved her very much either!!

 

That's the thing, in the beginning I felt really bad for what I was doing to her M, part of me still does & part of me hates her!

[greengoddess]

She didn't win anything and she is not laughing. She is hurt beyond belief.

 

She is 46 years old. 26 plus of those years were spent with him. More than half her life and you hate her?

 

She has built a life, a family, a home and probably plans for a retirement with this man. She has known him inside and out for 26 years. You have been sneaking around with him for less than a year. He has gone back and forth to you for less than a year and you have taken him back each time knowing he was lying to be with you. You have not kicked him to the curb when you have had him in your life for such a short time and you wonder why she has not kicked him to the curb when she has been with him more than half her life and has children with him?

 

You are something new, something exciting and something fun but he obviously does have love for his wife or he wouldn't run back to her. STOP the pain for everyone, yourself included and stop talking with him. If he loves you more and is willing to risk the life he built with his wife then he wil come for you in the open not snuck behind closed doors. Have some self respect and don't let him treat you like this.

 

Oh and if you think you hate her imagine how she feels about you after 26 years of marriage being threatened by your presence in their relationship. Leave them be.

[dylanatalanta]

She didn't win anything and she is not laughing. She is hurt beyond belief.

 

She is 46 years old. 26 plus of those years were spent with him. More than half her life and you hate her?

 

She has built a life, a family, a home and probably plans for a retirement with this man. She has known him inside and out for 26 years. You have been sneaking around with him for less than a year. He has gone back and forth to you for less than a year and you have taken him back each time knowing he was lying to be with you. You have not kicked him to the curb when you have had him in your life for such a short time and you wonder why she has not kicked him to the curb when she has been with him more than half her life and has children with him?

 

You are something new, something exciting and something fun but he obviously does have love for his wife or he wouldn't run back to her. STOP the pain for everyone, yourself included and stop talking with him. If he loves you more and is willing to risk the life he built with his wife then he wil come for you in the open not snuck behind closed doors. Have some self respect and don't let him treat you like this.

 

Oh and if you think you hate her imagine how she feels about you after 26 years of marriage being threatened by your presence in their relationship. Leave them be.

 

Everything you say is right, I hate myself that I have those feelings & feel ashamed that I have done what I have done, I feel bitter & twisted over all of this.

 

I have a six year old daughter, I split from her father when she was 6 months old & have, apart from a few dates, not been bothered about having a relationship, one of the things that hurt so much was that he met my daughter & drove us both to show us where we would end up living. He promised me a future with him & he promised in his words that he would put my daughter on a pedestal. I believed him & can assure you that I very often felt & still do feel extreme guilt because I have wrecked another womans life.

[greengoddess]

Everything you say is right, I hate myself that I have those feelings & feel ashamed that I have done what I have done, I feel bitter & twisted over all of this.

 

I have a six year old daughter, I split from her father when she was 6 months old & have, apart from a few dates, not been bothered about having a relationship, one of the things that hurt so much was that he met my daughter & drove us both to show us where we would end up living. He promised me a future with him & he promised in his words that he would put my daughter on a pedestal. I believed him & can assure you that I very often felt & still do feel extreme guilt because I have wrecked another womans life.

 

 

I'm sorry. That must be so so painful. Especially involving your daughter. He was painting a beautiful picture for you. Living a fantasy, a new life and you were part of it. Protect yourself and your daughter. Get away from him. Don't listen to his words. It's action. Unless he is willing to present you out to the public in an open relationship don't speak with him.

 

If you get this man, you will have a long battle with a lot of baggage. A long drawn out divorce with bitter children involved too. He will be depressed and needing to reevaluate his whole life. It will not be a pretty picture. Is this what you want for your daughter? Is this what you want for her future? This middle aged guy with all his baggage.

 

Look at the course of your life for the last nine months. I bet you have had more pain than happiness and so has his family. The only one having fun is him escaping his life and responsibilities for a little bit with you.

 

Walk away for your own sanilty and your daughters future. Is this the behavior you want her to learn from? Love should not hurt.

[bentnotbroken]

Thanks

 

I can't believe the hold he has over me, feel crap admitting to that!!!!

 

 

 

No he doesn't have a hold over you, you have the hold. Holding on to something that isn't going to happen. Move on and get a to the job of living.

[Owl]

This will last for as long as YOU let it last.

 

He's got all the power simply because YOU ARE GIVING IT TO HIM.

 

Take it back.

 

Take control of your own life.

 

You don't like what's going on? Don't like what this is doing to you, what its doing to his wife?

 

Then just STOP it. Put an end to it...today...RIGHT NOW.

 

You deserve better. You know that. While settle for the crumbs he's dishing out to you, when you deserve the whole five course meal from someone who can make you FIRST in his life???

 

Tell him its over. Change any and all points of contact and communication that you and he have shared...and make it CLEAR to him that he's no longer welcome in your life.

 

And while you may be hurting from that, you can hold your head up high knowing that YOU took control back of your life, and YOU made the right choices.

[Tomcat33]

Hi Dylanatalanta

 

Yes he does have a hold on you, and how could he not, with all this back and forth it is very hard to break free of that you are 100% under his power. But it is also in your control to allow him to control you, right now you are thinking with your heart not your head which is why you are not taking control. That's understandable.

 

Your story sounds eerily similar to mine, from the moment my ex moved out we started dating and his W found out about us, I can recount the steps almost exactly like yours.

 

Let me tell you what happened in my story.

 

He moved back home as soon as she found out, she confronted him and did a number on him guilt-wise and he dumped me with the excuse that he had not been fair to his W that though his heart was with me and I was his true love he and he was destroyed by having to do this he owed it to his W to give it another go given how much he had hurt her. Seeing her so hurt when she found out he was dating me really opened his eyes. We broke contact for a month of course I was devestated and fell into a deep depression unlike anything I had experienced before. A month later he showed up at my house to beg me to give him another chance to tell me he could not live without me that every single day that went by he could not stop thinking about me that he was repulsed by his W and there was no use staying with her, he felt like someone had ripped his insides out, he was the walking dead. He said this time it was for real he was not going to go back and of course since I was so inlove with him I took him back,

 

Well he was honest about that he did stay away and we did give our relationship a go but she kept on begging him to go back home and calling his house threatening suicide, I saw the emails she sent him guilt tripping him and begging him and he went into a depression, I saw him deteriorate infront of my very eyes. She was very manipulative and I was pressuring him to D and she was pressuring to move back home and ultimately this did us in and any chance at us having a relationship was shot. (obviously!!)

 

We broke up again so that he could have some space to work through his things/emotions etc and without me pressuring him. Only to find out three months later that he had moved back home to be with his W again, this time I ended it for good and when he came to see me to tell me he was still so inlove with me after three months of bieng apart and wanted to be with me but could not leave his W high and dry since now she had gone into a depression and the pressures he felt, I picked up the phone, called his W and told her to keep him the hell away from me. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. It took me three months to gain some clarity and start to make some sense of it all for him to want to see me only to tell me I love you and I am dying without you but I moved back home.

 

Anway long story short I completely cut all contact with him., for almost a year after that he continued to try to contact me one way or another always telling me how devestated he was how he could not stop loving me no matter how much he tried culminating in him telling me he was finally D'ing. And he did.

 

I am sharing this with you because what he tells you may be true, it may be true that he feels you are his real love but unless he has something to prove to you that he is real about wanting to do something on what he feels, he is as good as a liar and nothing more in terms of how you should see him.

Also, I know my ex's W had a big influence in his back and forth, rightly so, had I not seen the emails and witnessed the manipulative phone calls of suicide threats etc. I would not have thought so.

 

But it wasn't until I backed completely off for that year that he was able to see his situation for what it was, and realise that he was not only being manipulated due to her own insecurities of not wanting to be left alone and having to lose her marriage and start all over again, that he was not going to force something he just did not want anymore. He was finally able to do what he needed to stand up for what he had wanted all along on his own and without any sort of influence from anyone else.

 

In a time of no contact with you they either go through with what they wanted all along or they realise it is NOT what they wanted at all. In my case it is what he wanted all long and he did go through with it. Mine has not kids so I think that also made it somewhat easier.

 

Take your control back dylan and free yourself from his grip. Nothing will ever progress if you keep letting him know he can count on your when he reaches out with nothing to offer you in return. Stop the cylce, and take that control back. You'll be much better off for it in the end no matter the outcome.

[dylanatalanta]

Dear e-mail contact

This morning someone cut my Right Arm off, this was the best friend I ever had.I'm missing it like crazy so if you find it can you tell it that I hope it finds the happiness it so much deserves and just to let me know how it's getting on every now and again !!!!

 

This morning I told him it had to end, as I do most weeks, the above is what I have just received from him..............it's hard to ignore

Thank you for your story, in a strange way it gives me some comfort.

[noforgiveness]

That's a horrible email? Did you take that as loving? Total avoidance is how I see it. he does not talk to you personally. Calls you basically an it. If you see "it" tell "it".

 

Not very loving at all. Ignore it and ignore him. You did the right thing. You were apparently just an appendage to him and nothing more.

[SeaBrooke]

Dylan,

 

In one of your comments here you said you feel extreme guilt that you wrecked another womans life.

 

I don't think you did. I think married people have a responsibility to each other to see the marriage stays healthy. They both dropped the ball here.

 

He feel in love with you, because you are loveable and a good person. i believe he really wanted to leave her or he wouldn't have.

 

But they have a huge mess to clean up, however they chose to do that.

 

I hope you are more like myself and feel thankful that you at least only have your own emotions and thoughts and feelings to cope with. Imagine how it is to be on the married side of this equasion. Facing each other day to day. The tension and all those years of the good the bad and the oh so ugly to sort through and make sense of, even if it ends in divorce.

 

When a person is the OW/OM... We are adults and we know the risk we take with our hearts going in. I know I did, I took the risk anyway. Stats show it seldom goes in the favor of the OP. Somehow, it doesn's seem to stop us though. We've risked our hearts anyway. The MP risk the world blowing up in their faces and the loss of their spouse, the OP or even both.

 

Most people don't like being alone, especially during life changing events be it good or bad ones. Often times people have someone else in their life when they get a divorce or before they break up with someone. If not shortly thereafter they do. So don't beat yourself up about being there for him when you were. Don't feel guilty that you love him. I am sure he has good things about him or you wouldn't have fallen for him at all.

 

However, right now. I do think you need time alone, to heal your heart and your mind. July 1st was not so long ago. It's not even realistic to think your feelings are like a switch you can turn on and off. People don't really work like that.

 

Right now I am looking at why I would risk my heart in an affair, what made me want to do that when I had live some 45 some odd years and never had been willing to do that before?

 

He gave you hope of a future, you were not settling for crumbs here. Not from what I see. He knew you for 9 months? Felt he loved you enough to want a life with you. A better life than he had for 26 years with her. My point is you bring a lot of good qualities. It's easy to forget those things when you are beating yourself up. So I'm trying to remind you not to forget that about yourself.

 

This distance will give your perspective some much needed clarity about your own needs. That is never a bad thing.

 

If you do end up being with him, it is much healthier for all of you especially kids if the drama is not played out under your roof, but under their own.

 

Take Care of Yourself and I wish you all the best.

[dylanatalanta]

That's a horrible email? Did you take that as loving? Total avoidance is how I see it. he does not talk to you personally. Calls you basically an it. If you see "it" tell "it".

 

Not very loving at all. Ignore it and ignore him. You did the right thing. You were apparently just an appendage to him and nothing more.

 

 

Hi

 

I would think the same as you if I didn't know & just read that, he always refers to me as his right arm & honestly that is all he means.

[noforgiveness]

Hi

 

I would think the same as you if I didn't know & just read that, he always refers to me as his right arm & honestly that is all he means.

 

 

So does that mean his wife is his heart and you are an appendage? Honestly I don't like that at all. You should not just be his right arm. you should be more than that. He can certainly live without a right arm. Now his heart that would kill him. Sounds like you were just a crutch, a support, a marital aide. sorry to be so blunt but you need to wake up and get out of this situation.

[dylanatalanta]

So does that mean his wife is his heart and you are an appendage? Honestly I don't like that at all. You should not just be his right arm. you should be more than that. He can certainly live without a right arm. Now his heart that would kill him. Sounds like you were just a crutch, a support, a marital aide. sorry to be so blunt but you need to wake up and get out of this situation.

 

No problem honestly!!!!! I think I need a good kick up the backside to be truthful!!!!