bish Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 What if a spouse has that entitlement attitude without cheating? Do you think that can ruin a marriage if it is not resolved? If she did not cheat, then there wouldn't be any entitlement. The entitlement comes from her feeling that she deserved to have an affair. Now if she didn't cheat but still deserved to have an affair, then ya, it WILL ruin a marriage. But then again, if they want to cheat, its already ruined. Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_99 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 >Ok after reading this little excerpt I think I know what the problem is. You are martyring yourself. You have been this angel/saint and you feel unappreciated. Gee, I put my kids and other things before my needs and wants too. I have sacrificed everything for my family, but you didn't see me going out and sticking it to other women.< I have to say that in a way this can be true, it was when I started my A, I felt like I had always put everyone else first and I was finally going to do something for me. BUT I think you are oversimplifying it too. Nothing in human relations is EVER so cut and dried. Beleive me that I wish it were. People have needs and if they aren't being met they will find outher outlets, sometimes you don't know HOW to ask for those needs to be met, sometimes you might not even realize something is missing until you go to far. I do agree: >Now if she didn't cheat but still deserved to have an affair, then ya, it WILL ruin a marriage. But then again, if they want to cheat, its already ruined.< There are exceptions to every hard and fast rule, but if you can go as far as having a serious A, I think that the isues in the exsiting relationship are usually beyond repair. And even if they are not, the A will cause it's own set of issues even if the other marriage partner never knows about it. Divorce isn't always the answer, but neither is an affair. I think it's important to look into yourself as to WHY you do the things you do. ask yourself if it is toxic to your mental and emotional health. If it is toxic WHAT can you do to get yourself healthy, and then find the courage to make the changes to your life that are neccassary so that you can really find some happiness. My first suggestion would be to just start being yourself around your hubby. ~99 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts