jalexy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I wanted to get more thoughts on this subject, again. I am dating a guy and tonight will be our third date. How many dates should I just let him pay? Should I offer every time to pay? If he lets me pay what does that say about him? I am just really confused on the whole issue. Sure its amazingly nice to be paid for, and I like to bring him a present here and there for doing so. i will admit I hate paying only because its nice to be "taken care of". Should i still offer, i just fear he will let me pay.....cause I keep getting it slammed into my head that hes no good if he lets me pay. - thouroughly frustrated! Link to post Share on other sites
vixen Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 your going overboard. (in my opinion) Let him pay if that's what he wants, if it makes you feel that bad offer to pay your own way, if he shrugs and says ok, there's nothing wrong with a dutch date. Maybe he's been running low on cash, and your paying your own way he appreciates becouse it's like a mini gift. So what if you pay your own way when you insist. After all you insisted. It's not his fault. If he insisted you paid your own way then that might be a diffrent story, but a story that would have to watch the tones and body languadge that went with it. I myself am oober broke all the time, i have a sucky part time job, that gives me like 8 hours a week, so jon always pays. Food, pool, movie, what ever he pays. I still scrape and save to give him a presant when a month aniversary comes round. Every 20th we give little gifts. Heck last 20th i gave him the family guy dvd. (oops off subject) My point is don't make a big deal out of it. don't even mention it. If he heads for food, asks you what you want, simply go, wan't me to pay? (and if he says yes, then do it. he pays for you, relationships are a 2 way street.) but likely he'll go no it's ok, i got it. Or, could you get yours this time i'm short. If he insists on paying every time, give up. He likes it, it makes him happy, if it bugs you mention it to him. Go, i feel guilty you pay for dinner all the time, you know i appreciate it right? and so on, let him know your indepandent enough to pay for yourself, if he simply goes i know, or the like, then it's just that he wants to do something nice for you. Don't kill chivolry when you find it. And promote it when you do. I make it a point, that if we are heading to the car, (on a first date) that i stand at the door waiting to be let in. (if it's his car, it would look silly if it's mine) and if it is my car, i let him in. turn about is fair play. Or do on to others as you would have them do on to you. So right from the start, my open door for me, conditionning, (for lack of better word) lets them know i'll take no bull, I'm a lady and expect to be treated like one. At anyrate, I hope my advice helped. But remember it's just advice.. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 hm...i dunno! Link to post Share on other sites
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