Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 LOL, yeah. I can see the turning hour glass now... I thought that was... "As the stomach churns" Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Yeah, but I'm curious how mature you presented yourself when dealing with his friend by saying things like this: I'm curious what word choice you used in communicating this to him? In other words, why didn't you have the conversation Walk suggested to begin with? Don't.You.Get.Bored.Being.The.Dog.With.The.Bone? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Don't.You.Get.Bored.Being.The.Dog.With.The.Bone? Half the time I have no clue what the heck is being said. What does this even mean??? Speak english man. English! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If you're going to attempt to make peace with the friend, make certain it's a three-way conversation with your b/f involved. What you don't want to do is to allow your b/fs friend to manipulate your b/f, afterwards, by twisting your words. This friend is already playing the emotional hostage game. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Half the time I have no clue what the heck is being said. What does this even mean??? Speak english man. English! Ok.I.Will.Speak.English.When.You.Reach.16,000.Posts.On.Loveshack.Until.Then.Suck.My.*******. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I only asked because as we've seen it play out over the past year, LB usually gives one point of view (hers) at the beginning of the thread to paint her BF or friend or whomever as a bad guy, only to later find out additional details or context that changes the situation substantially. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I only asked because as we've seen it play out over the past year, LB usually gives one point of view (hers) at the beginning of the thread to paint her BF or friend or whomever as a bad guy, only to later find out additional details or context that changes the situation substantially. All women do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If you're going to attempt to make peace with the friend, make certain it's a three-way conversation with your b/f involved. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 I'm just telling everyone the story. Simple as that. Anyway, yeah I suppose we could put the phone on speaker phone and talk to him that way. Then nobody can say anything mean or nasty about each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I'm just telling everyone the story. Simple as that. Anyway, yeah I suppose we could put the phone on speaker phone and talk to him that way. Then nobody can say anything mean or nasty about each other. I'd just send him an email. Write it out, show your bf, get his feedback and then send it to the friend. Talk to your bf about how you two want to handle the situation if the friend decides to try use the email against you. Either let your bf handle things from that point out, and back him up on it.. or whatever you two decide. I think since the friend confronted you by email, that an email response is acceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Look at it this way, now there will only be 6 drunk morons in your apt instead of 7. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If it were me, I wouldn't bother "making peace" with the upset friend. What's the make peace about, he's basically having a temper tantrum. I wouldn't make peace with a child stomping his foot and crying because he doesn't get his way - that would just make him feel like his behavior was acceptible. The nerve of some people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 I'd just send him an email. Write it out, show your bf, get his feedback and then send it to the friend. Talk to your bf about how you two want to handle the situation if the friend decides to try use the email against you. Either let your bf handle things from that point out, and back him up on it.. or whatever you two decide. I think since the friend confronted you by email, that an email response is acceptable. Yeah, you are right. That's a good idea actually then my boyfriend can see exactly what I wrote also. Man this is suck a sticky situation, thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I'd just send him an email. Write it out, show your bf, get his feedback and then send it to the friend. Talk to your bf about how you two want to handle the situation if the friend decides to try use the email against you. Either let your bf handle things from that point out, and back him up on it.. or whatever you two decide. I think since the friend confronted you by email, that an email response is acceptable. If you've ever seen a work generated email battle, you'll find that emails can get pretty heated because people are at a distance. The friend is holding everything hostage so he can get his way. I'm not convinced he's capable of being mature enough to suck it up and act like the man he should be. If anything, the ensuing drama from an email could be interesting. If you beard him through a three-way conference call, anything he agrees to, he'll have to man up to an extent. Whatever way you choose to handle this LB, your approach should be conciliatory, in that you're sad that it had to come to this and as expressed by Walk, that you're not trying to kill their fun, but that you have every right to have access to your home. Perhaps you can let your b/f make the decision of whether to return an email, have a conference call or not bother. You might find that your b/f selects the latter, since he wants to stop the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If it were me, I wouldn't bother "making peace" with the upset friend. What's the make peace about, he's basically having a temper tantrum. I wouldn't make peace with a child stomping his foot and crying because he doesn't get his way - that would just make him feel like his behavior was acceptible. The nerve of some people. I'm with B_O on this one... Why bother making peace.. you have done nothing wrong and it is your apartment and your BF is fine with what you both worked out... Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If it were me, I wouldn't bother "making peace" with the upset friend. What's the make peace about, he's basically having a temper tantrum. I wouldn't make peace with a child stomping his foot and crying because he doesn't get his way - that would just make him feel like his behavior was acceptible. The nerve of some people. I third that. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 If anything, the ensuing drama from an email could be interesting. If you beard him through a three-way conference call, anything he agrees to, he'll have to man up to an extent. I agree email can create problems. I actually don't feel that LB will make any head way with this friend. I also think the the friend will take anything LB does as a direct attack on him because of his lack of maturity. But for the sake of the relationship, and for her bf, I think it'd be wise of her to make at least a token effort at keeping the peace between her and the friends. Just enough to say 'here's the olive branch, now its your turn to be a better friend for (bf name)'. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Well you could get the police involved, that's a lot of fun....especially when staying in the next hotel room smell pot drifting from under the door and call you in. You are the true empitmy of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Even just talking with both of you on the IMs might work, but you wouldn't be able to hear inflections. Always a downside. I'm glad your bf stood his ground when you told him what was up. The friend is a jerk for the way he acted. Unfortunately, most of us have a jerk or two for friends. I know I do. He's not even allowed to be anywhere within a mile of my wife. I hope you can work this out. Just make sure you tell yer bf he's a good boy Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Umm, yeah, getting arrested for pot and losing my job as a result would be a lot of fun. Who said anything about smoking pot? You go to the extremes like an evangelical, therefore you are a snooze, I bet your girlfriend enjoys time with you. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 No, I'm a woman. I am fun, but you mentioned the drugs. My point is you can have fun without going over the top to the point where the neighbors will call you in. Give me a break. I am just thinking men in the adult world who would get so wild as having the guys livein girlfriend there would be a problem....hmmm, maybe they need to grow up a bit and leave the frat boy days behind. So we're having like, 6 guys sleeping on the floor of this guy's apartment where he lives with his girlfriend? This is not how adults do it past the fratboy times in college. Well I'm young and can act like that and when I meet a woman who drains the life out of me, forces me to date her, move in with her, marry her and have kids with her, then I'll stop the "frat boy" lifestyle, whatever the hell a frat boy is. We use fun time charlie here in Mary Poppins land. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 No one can force you to do anything. I guess you should just stay celebate your entire life. Have fun. Ha! Whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 Wow I'm good at starting threads that generate a lot of responses aren't I? Anyway I wanted to update everyone: My bf talked to his idiot friend today. He says he "might" come he's not sure. My bf didn't go into to much detail regarding their convo, so I suggested that maybe I could talk to him. He said that probably wouldn't be the best idea, as the friend is still pissed off. He told me to let it go, he thinks his freind will cool down by this weekend and show up. Not that I want the little shiat in my apartment but I know it would make my bf happy if his friend came, mainly because they don't get to see each other very often. The next time he will see all these friends is in Sept for the Vegas trip. So I'm not sure how this is going to play out. I've decided to just dis-involve myself at this point. Yes, I suppose I run the risk of his friend trying to manipulate the situation, but I trust my bf and I know he would NEVER do anything to hurt me or make me feel bad. And he said that he certainly isn't going to let anyone else do the same. (that was a direct quote that he told me, he's so sweet). It would have been so much easier if this kid would have just told my bf his concerns in a responsible adult-like manner and this whole mess probably could have been avoided. You'd think a 26 year old would be a little bit more mature than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Let it go, LB. Stop thinking of the guy as the idiot manipulator friend, otherwise you'll NEVER make peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Yup, let it go. Sounds like your b/f has it well in hand. If the friend chooses to continue acting childishly, he's only punishing himself now. Link to post Share on other sites
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