Art_Critic Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Oh and my husband is extremely high drive by the way. I don't know what you're trying to imply with that last comment. Of course he does.. he has to be banging his assistant.. .. then he comes home and does you... wink..wink...
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 All men compartmentalize. Sorry, its true. Men make millions of sperm a day. Its genetic. Evolution. Spreading the seed. They don't have the natural instinct to protect one egg a month as women do. Men do have the natural basic instinct to have sex. Wanting to have sex is not a bad thing. If they repress this urge then they are "creme de la creme"? Perhaps some men are shy and fantasize while playing with themselves. Does that make them "creme de la creme? Or they have NO OPTIONS to have sex. Does that make them creme de la creme? Or they simply lie about their desires and fantasies. So your husband had hot women throwing themselves at him, and he was "saving himself" for love?
Author Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 So again, assuming he was only looking for sex - which we don't know, and I honestly really don't care if that was the case - why is that MY fault? Isn't it f'ed up to say you want to settle down and ask me to devote myself to you and not my job if your ONLY intent is to get laid by your best friend's best friend (Scott is both my good friend and Justin's good friend)? How is ANY of this my fault?????
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I guess I am more old fashioned. Since you cannot come out and say to a woman "So are you coming over for sex", for many men it is an unwritten rule that sex is a definite possibility if a woman wants to come to your home. The way we know that is because 90% of women say no. So if you are on a date, and he says "Want to go back to my place"? You think he is just being cool and wants to watch tv? If he invites you over (even without the date) that doesn't change. He is a man and views you as a woman. He didn't view you as a "friend". I am just saying it sends mixed signals to go to a mans home on a second date. If you dont want sex, then keep it in public. That way there is less confusion.
Touche Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Of course he does.. he has to be banging his assistant.. .. then he comes home and does you... wink..wink... OH yeah! Duh...I'm so stupid. (P.S. I'm his assistant!) Bones, honestly I don't know where you're coming from. My husband had other relationships before me. He was even married before me. What does that have to do with the topic at hand? He tells ME his fantasies now. He doesn't repress any of his "urges." He just said he wanted to wait when we were dating. To make sure we were right for each other. What's so wrong about that? Oh and yeah...if he represses his urge to have sex with everyone he finds attractive and only has sex with me then YES, of course he's creme de la creme. He's not like MOST men. NOW, do you get it? Sheesh!
Author Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Since you cannot come out and say to a woman "So are you coming over for sex", for many men it is an unwritten rule that sex is a definite possibility if a woman wants to come to your home. The way we know that is because 90% of women say no. If NINETY PERCENT of women say NO, how is sex a "definite possibility"????
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 fwiw Star - been there done that (and he sounds grossly creepy - nothing worse than someone you don't fancy at ALL groping and coming at you with tongue) I don't think this is a red flag as much as a WTF was I thinking moment.......
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 If NINETY PERCENT of women say NO, how is sex a "definite possibility"???? presumably the 10% that say okay, ARE up for sex ? (these are men remember)
Touche Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 If NINETY PERCENT of women say NO, how is sex a "definite possibility"???? Please, this guy makes no sense whatsoever. Don"t even try to figure him out. He says for "many men it is an unwritten rule that sex is a definite possibility if a woman wants to come to your home." What? A definite possibility? Oxymoron anyone? Ridiculous. And you say for "many" men. Yeah, the ones I wouldn't have anything to do with, remember? We go back to the "creme de la creme" again. The EXCEPTIONS to that rule. When my man asked me over it was to watch a movie or to have a pizza or to talk, etc. NOT to have sex. And I knew that about him right away. It's what made me want him even MORE. Some of you guys will never get that concept will you? Ever heard of being a "gentleman?"
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Please, this guy makes no sense whatsoever. Don"t even try to figure him out. He says for "many men it is an unwritten rule that sex is a definite possibility if a woman wants to come to your home." What? A definite possibility? Oxymoron anyone? Ridiculous. And you say for "many" men. Yeah, the ones I wouldn't have anything to do with, remember? We go back to the "creme de la creme" again. The EXCEPTIONS to that rule. When my man asked me over it was to watch a movie or to have a pizza or to talk, etc. NOT to have sex. And I knew that about him right away. It's what made me want him even MORE. Some of you guys will never get that concept will you? Ever heard of being a "gentleman?" you rock touche
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 LOL Touche.. Your logic is FLAWED.. He was interested in YOU. He married YOU. Who is to say he NEVER invited a DIFFERENT woman over just to have sex? If he did, then he is not "creme de la creme"? 90% of women will NOT go to a man's house for a first or second date , as they understand what the men most likely expect! UNLESS they want to have sex too.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 90% of women will NOT go to a man's house for a first or second date , as they understand what the men most likely expect! UNLESS they want to have sex too. Clearly I've been the exception to your "rule" with every single guy I've ever dated, including two on this board.
Mary3 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 If NINETY PERCENT of women say NO, how is sex a "definite possibility"???? No they dont want sex or No they don't to come over ?
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Mary, Perhaps i wasn't clear.. Most women will not go back to a mans house if they do NOT want to have sex with you, or are not ready to. So when a woman wants to come over, men tend to think she might want to at least fool around. Why would a woman go to a mans home who she is not even attracted to? And then call him a creep for trying. If he wasn't 60 pounds overweight, and he was cute, perhaps you would have went further. So don't play the "i am a good girl" game. You had no business being there if you had no attraction, or had no idea if you were attracted.
Touche Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Thanks, LF! You're a sweetheart. And yeah, Art I knew you knew I was H's assistant. I still don't completely get your point, Bones.
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Touche... You keep saying how your husband did not try to have sex with you while you invited him over to your home. So you KNOW he is "creme de la creme" My point it, obviously he felt YOU were special, and proof of that is that he married you. However perhaps he invited different women over during the course of his lifetime just to have sex. Just because he didn't view YOU just for sex, doesn't mean he never compartmentalized. Or did he want to marry every woman he ever met and want to wait for sex??
Touche Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Touche... You keep saying how your husband did not try to have sex with you while you invited him over to your home. So you KNOW he is "creme de la creme" My point it, obviously he felt YOU were special, and proof of that is that he married you. However perhaps he invited different women over during the course of his lifetime just to have sex. Just because he didn't view YOU just for sex, doesn't mean he never compartmentalized. Or did he want to marry every woman he ever met and want to wait for sex?? No. I already answered this in the other thread. We all grow and go through different phases. By the time I met him he was past the phase of just wanting sex. He wanted more.
StartingOver07 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You want "old fashioned gentlemen".. But realize old fashioned women didn't go to mens homes and watch tv for a second date. I agree with much of this. It's one thing if you already know your date is a gentleman and you make plans to get take-out and watch tv at home and something else if the man in question has already displayed questionable behavior and you've had a less-than-stellar first date followed by text tomfoolery. Given that he initially offered dinner and a show which then become an evening at his home based on your desires, I do see where he may have gotten a mixed signal about your intentions.
Trialbyfire Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I agree with much of this. It's one thing if you already know your date is a gentleman and you make plans to get take-out and watch tv at home and something else if the man in question has already displayed questionable behavior and you've had a less-than-stellar first date followed by text tomfoolery. Given that he initially offered dinner and a show which then become an evening at his home based on your desires, I do see where he may have gotten a mixed signal about your intentions. Any mixed messages should have been negated by her attempts to push him away. That he continued to try with less than acceptable tactics, makes him nothing but a pig.
bones1 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 LOL yes but she stayed! A. I wouldn't go to a womans home whom I am not attracted to. B. If she made a move, I would be out the door.
Krytie TV Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Geez, I don't want to start a fight over this, but: Any mixed messages should have been negated by her attempts to push him away. That he continued to try with less than acceptable tactics, makes him nothing but a pig. However, anything short of her immediately leaving the situation by going home basically says "I'm playing hard to get... just keep trying". I'm not saying this is what was in SG's mind, but as presented, that is what message was being sent to him. She tolerated his behavior without repercussion... that says nothing to a man on a mission.
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Geez, I don't want to start a fight over this, but: However, anything short of her immediately leaving the situation by going home basically says "I'm playing hard to get... just keep trying". I'm not saying this is what was in SG's mind, but as presented, that is what message was being sent to him. She tolerated his behavior without repercussion... that says nothing to a man on a mission. No, it just means she's too nice for her own good (in her personal life at least)
StartingOver07 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Any mixed messages should have been negated by her attempts to push him away. That he continued to try with less than acceptable tactics, makes him nothing but a pig. I'm not disagreeing with his "yuck" factor. But women need to apply common sense as well as expect men to be honorable. This guy had already established himself as someone who did not exhibit appropriate behaviors. So expecting this to change (on his home turf, no less) is pretty unrealistic, imo. It doesn't change the inappropriateness of his actions, but it might have been more sensible to simply avoid the situation. Would you have gone? I doubt it.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Geez, I don't want to start a fight over this, but: However, anything short of her immediately leaving the situation by going home basically says "I'm playing hard to get... just keep trying". I'm not saying this is what was in SG's mind, but as presented, that is what message was being sent to him. She tolerated his behavior without repercussion... that says nothing to a man on a mission. If you had been a fly on the wall, it would have been very obvious to you that the message I was sending was, "Back the eff off, as soon as DeAnna Pappas chooses her suitor, I'm outta here!"
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