White Flower Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I'm afraid I cannot "blame" somone (the OP) for falling for it ONCE! this guy was a practiced groomer.. he knew what he was doing. She still doesen't fully understand what happed. Without intent, there cannot be blame. I admit that 26 is a little old to be falling for this stuff, but obviously it happens. I've known of other even more mature ladies falling for a crud-dud like this guy. Hopefully it only happens once. I think if you've never come accross one you just don't recognize them when you see them...at any age. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I think if you've never come accross one you just don't recognize them when you see them...at any age. yup, just as you responded to me on another thread - it takes practice and experience to detect the superb actor and consummate liar Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 yup, just as you responded to me on another thread - it takes practice and experience to detect the superb actor and consummate liar I know & I still cant believe the way he has turned out - showing his true colors now after being so 'nice' for a whole year. I feel like such a fool - hanging on to his every word. I guess just because I would not do this to someone else does not mean they will not do it to me. I find it hard to come to terms with. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I know & I still cant believe the way he has turned out - showing his true colors now after being so 'nice' for a whole year. I feel like such a fool - hanging on to his every word. I guess just because I would not do this to someone else does not mean they will not do it to me. I find it hard to come to terms with. heart, live and learn sweetie - it's the eternal cry of the "wronged female" - "I thought you were different - I thought you were a NICE guy" and then they wonder why so called "nice" guys end up finishing last, perhaps because we've learned not to trust their "niceness" Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I know & I still cant believe the way he has turned out - showing his true colors now after being so 'nice' for a whole year. I feel like such a fool - hanging on to his every word. I guess just because I would not do this to someone else does not mean they will not do it to me. I find it hard to come to terms with. It is not easy to come to terms with. Now that you know what type of a man he is, forget him and move on with your life. It's not easy but you gotta do it - he's probably moving on now. Wouldn't it be nice when he contacts you and you can tell him that you've moved on and do not need him anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted July 11, 2008 Author Share Posted July 11, 2008 It is not easy to come to terms with. Now that you know what type of a man he is, forget him and move on with your life. It's not easy but you gotta do it - he's probably moving on now. Wouldn't it be nice when he contacts you and you can tell him that you've moved on and do not need him anymore? I am trying to move on with my life - I did manage to keep my job & Ive started going out with friends again. But its just so hard. Despite MM proving himself to be an ***hole these last few weeks the times we had together did feel special & when I think of how we kissed etc I still feel very turned on then deeply saddened because its just gone now & I cant get that magical feeling back. No one has ever turned me on like this guy. Its very difficult to go from being absolutely head over heals in love with my MM to actually disliking the guy for what hes done. As for meeting another guy...well Ive never actually felt a connection with anyone like I did with MM & it saddens me the way its turned out as I really did believe there was a good chance we would be together one day. Cant imagine feeling this strongly about anyone else. Well its doubtful he will contact me again now but if he does hopefully I will have the strength not to fall for it & tell him I have moved on & dont need him anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 stay strong. knowing that he was married - you were willing to take a risk for the time that you had him in front of you. the outcome disappoints you - but hey - he's married. you are young and this is a good life lesson to take with you. learn from it. you will connect again with an available man on an intense level sometime through the years. don't let this unavailable man close your heart to the possibility of happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 If this had happened to my daughter, I think I would have throttled this grand liar and manipulator. Sweetheart, women much older and more experienced than you have fallen prey to predators of this kind. Do not internalize this and blame yourself. You were targeted and taken advantage of. You are young and beautiful and life is full of exciting possibilities for you. Cry not another tear for this poor excuse of a human being. Take Lakeside´s advice and reach for those stars sparkling above you..and for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Well after nearly a month of NC (his choice, he just cut me out without a reason why & no closure) was starting to feel stronger & getting my life back on track - have been out clubbing a couple of times & have met friends for coffee etc & although still quite raw from it all am crying alot less. But today I saw him driving in his car although he did not see me as I was on the bus. My heart was beating real fast & I felt really upset as it all came flooding back. Not excactly back to square 1 but felt awful. I just hope I dont have to see him even from a distance, but if I actually bumped into him face to face in the mall or wherever it would be so awkward & extremely upsetting for me as I dont know how he would react to me & I will re live all the pain esp. if he is rude/ignores me. I guess it will happen sooner or later though as we do still live in the same town But hes definately the one making everything awkward like this as he should have given me closure & not just completely cast me aside when I didnt deserve to be treated like that. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Heartbroken, he doesn't owe you a damn thing. You're giving him the power to determine your own value as a person. STOP IT!! NOW!!! You're the only one who can put your foot down on this. He has no bearing, no say, no NOTHING on you. Why are you thinking that he does?? If you don't believe me, then look into the face of a friend. Or (if you have children) your child's face. That reflection coming back at you? That's YOU, my dear!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts