I need a NC buddy.

[marmaliade]

Sometimes I feel as if I am in my own private Hell. Tomorrow marks 14 days in a row that I kept NC. I was hoping by now it would be much easier. The crying fits are less frequent, but when they come they are strong and hard. They take so much out of me. They drain me.

Today I started NC too. What's your story. As i see you're hangging on there pretty good. Just hold on

[maria_patheticsoul]

Gee i was dumped by my live-in partner last Friday and he asked me if i still want to be his friend and i said yes. He needed space so i gave in when he asked me and my daughter to leave his place. I don't contact him at all but he sms me everyday and even calls me and i always answer his sms and phone calls. Is it not right to do this? He asked for space and yet he still talks to me. I am really confused about the character of this guy...he is so complicated and hard to analyze at all.

[moo]

Today I started NC too. What's your story. As i see you're hangging on there pretty good. Just hold on

 

Marmaliade, thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate it. I don't want to go into too much detail because I talked about this before. Briefly, I was with a man who put no effort into the relationship because he was having so many problems with his personal life. I made excuses for him again and again. I accepted his bad behavior because I thought once he got himself together, things would change. He treated me like an inconvenience when he had all his personal troubles. He threw a coworker in my face that had a crush on him. There were rumors about them circulating at his job. Even with this, he chose to be friends with her and spend time with her and I did not want to tell him what friends he could and could not have, so I kept my mouth shut.

 

When things got better in his life and it calmed down a bit, he devoted his extra time to other things and other people not me. He still made more excuses....I lived too far away, etc. (I only lived an hour away). Then he took up with another woman, left me...cut me off. I was completely blindsided. That's the gist of it without the hurtful, painful details. I was very alone in the relationship and instead of trying to nuture it or going to couple's counseling, he made it seem like it was my fault because I didn't have confidence in the relationship. He never gave me anything, never tried to make me feel special, and when I didn't want to have sex, he became nasty and obnoxious, even if I was in pain from menstral cramps. There's a ton more, but as I said, that is the gist.

[DustySaltus]

I'm trying to really go cold turkey today. I just screwed up and looked at a picture of her. She tried to get me fired from my job (see second chance thread-get back on plane for full story), was checking my emails behind my back, won't give the ring back after I traveled 5000 miles to live with her. Why the hell am I thinking about contacting her at this point??? Oh yeah that's right, I have a hero complex....i try to save our relationship when I should really be saving myself. She sure looked great in that picture though, I mean we were supposed to get married..now its all over. I need to find the strength, still searching for it.

[moo]

I woke up angry and upset. I thought about contacting my ex because I was angry and I wanted to tell him how much he hurt me. Hmm, I guess that would be for the 7th time.

 

But I did not. I gave myself a silver star for today and tomorrow to encourage myself not to contact him. If I contact him the stars will have to come down. I went over things in my head. Things he said and did to me that were so selfish. All the lies he told. Stringing me along for soooo long, and then breaking up with me behind my back. Not being man enough to tell me he was going to start a relationship with someone else...just doing it and then making excuses for it when he tells me about it.

 

I wish I could break NC every day and just scream and torment him for the rest of his life...but that is unhealthy and maladaptive. Time and his own personality will take care of him...his life is a mess. The whole time I knew him, there was one month when his life wasn't a mess, unless you count the fact that his ex implied that she was going to have him killed.

 

Well, I guess you could say that the whole time I knew him, his life was literally a mess. Three legal problems in a year...health problems, health problems, and more health problems, switching money around from bank account to bank account...Three different permanent places to live in 15 months, not even counting all the times that he lived with other people-going from house to house and sometimes sleeping in his car. Getting fired from his job. His friend getting in trouble with the police for drugs. His friend's husband robbing people at knife point and getting caught by the cops. His other friend, gambling to pay rent...gambled one time for 7 hours and said "this is personal."

Pretending like his life just became messed up when he met me, then confessing a year later that he's had other periods in his life that were so bad, the girlfriends he had left him. What a complete loser. I'm so glad I'm sticking to NC.

[moo]

Still sticking to NC, but having a little trouble today and yesterday with my emotions. Before it was great anger and sadness. Now, more sadness than anger. Every now and then, the "Whys?" hit me.

[ssj4trunks09]

This is my 3rd day doing NC and it's already killing me lol. I NEARLY called her yesterday when I saw her myspace, till my friend came to the rescue. She's only called 3x since then.

[moo]

Last night was very difficult for me. I didn't do my PM CHI (Chinese Yoga that makes you sleep peacefully). I wanted so badly to break NC. I had such a strong urge, but I didn't give in. I have tears in my heart. Sometimes I can't believe the person who I loved the most in this world, was actually a monster. Once I stopped making excuses for him, only then did I realize what a monster he was to me before and after he left.