Girlfriend kissed another man.

[amerikajin]

I am sure everyone has experienced this kind of thing and I am thankful for the advice. I cannot sleep or eat for the past two days. That is probably normal, right? Because my mind is thinking about it all the time, which is causing my heart to beat out of my chest, keeping me awake, and not having an appetite.

 

Is it okay for your girlfriend to go on a vacation without you? This one was a running race and many jock men there. Apparently this guy had a girlfriend and those two broke up. Also, is it okay to sleep on a guy friend's couch (not the guy she kissed but another "friend").

 

It disappointed me that the next night, the night of the day she told me, she went again with the guy friend. They tried to call the guy who kissed her to all hang out again a second night. I can't help imagining that something would have happened again, and probably gone further this time. This is after her remorse from that morning. I tried to talk to her that same night, when she was waiting to go out for a second night, I was hurt and needed to talk, but she was cold and said that she needed to go to this festival. She said that if I didn't want her to go, that she wouldn't, but I couldn't do that, she would have resented me. It is good thing that the guy she kissed didn't answer his phone (he was in the process of getting dumped by his girlfriend). She still stayed back and talked to this guy friend over some drinks and talked about their relationship problems. I think she means her uncertainly of being in a mature, committed relationship, because otherwise our relationship is really great except for the long distance.

 

Is it okay to expect your significant other not to get drunk when away, especially around other guys?

 

Btw, another thing that bites, is that the guy that kissed her doesn't even pronounce her name right, which usually annoys her. So he can compliment her and make her feel good, but doesn't even care enough to say her name right. ****, sorry for venting. I probably deserve to read the comments you're going to give me.

 

Ok, now that I've read this post, I think I'm getting a better idea of where you're coming from here.

 

Frankly, I think this chick is more trouble than she's worth. You could go non-exclusive and just date her, but why would you really want to hang on to someone like this? What's her real contribution to your relationship? It seems like you're the one doing all the work. This "great" relationship is probably great in your eyes, but in her mind, she's getting loads of attention from other guys. It's clearly attention that she's after. If she was after exclusivity, she would probably not put herself in a position to jeopardize that -- certainly not on repeated occasions.

 

If you really want to hang on to this relationship, then you will need to start showing her that you are the man in this relationship. You'll need to start growing some b@lls and start taking action. Don't ever complain or whine to a woman about how she's upsetting you in this situation, because she'll just disrespect you even more. Lecturing a girl in this situation is about is useful as lecturing a disobedient dog. You don't lecture, you simply discipline. You accomplish this by establishing self-control. You don't get mad. You just start pulling back out of the relationship. Do not -- I repeat -- do NOT call her. In fact, if she calls you, just tell her you'll talk when she gets home. Don't even talk to her when she's gone. When you do finally talk, you just tell her that she needs to decide what she wants. Just be prepared to hear a response you might not want to hear. She might not want to be with you anymore, but at least you'd know that. But if she wants to be with you, then you just tell her straight up that you're not putting up with it anymore. Don't raise your voice, don't go into an extended lecture and don't let her drag this out into a discussion. Say it once and if she starts talking sh*t then remind her what you said the first time. Take control, bud.

[electric_sheep]

I am sure everyone has experienced this kind of thing and I am thankful for the advice. I cannot sleep or eat for the past two days. That is probably normal, right? Because my mind is thinking about it all the time, which is causing my heart to beat out of my chest, keeping me awake, and not having an appetite.

 

Perfectly normal for someone who is still crazy in love.

 

Jealousy and love are inextricably linked in my experience, though most people don't want to admit it. At least, jealousy and that "crazy" brand of love.

 

There are many possibilities. So much unknown. The truth could be far more innocent than you imagine, or more sinister. Only you know this girl. You should trust your instincts. Whatever you decide, stick to it and make the best of it, and throw the rest up to the wind.