tealeafbud Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 We've all been through the NC period. We know that we shouldn't contact the other person. We know that it's part of the healing process. We know that we need to be strong and shouldn't give into weakness. We know that it sets us back. We know that it's only going to torture ourselves. I'm generalizing here, but I'm going through a NC period and would like to ask the community: What does your NC period feel like? What should the NC period feel like? For me personally, it sometimes has a nervous feeling, an anxious feeling, mustering all my strength to NC the other person. I personally want it to feel more effortless. Thanks for reading.
sigma Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Im on day 4 of NC. I've done a pretty good job of forgetting about it. I guess since I've been so busy with finals and end of term stuff, as well as work, I haven't had a lot of time to dwell on things. I still think about her, but have done my best not to contact her. It definitely an anxious feeling, wondering if they will call or try to initiate contact. Is it like a blinking war? Personally Im glad Im in a position where I don't care. I have no regrets, I gave everything I could give, and I think I was the better person in the relationship. I have no "if onlys" or "what ifs". So I look at it as my partners loss. good luck with your NC. It's not easy, sometimes we want to go back to that familiarity. It's not easy wandering into the unknown, but sometimes what glimmers isn't' always gold, and what's best for us isn't always easy.
Ofleg7 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 it's hard.. but easy at the same time. I know that totally doesn't make any sense. I think about her a lot, a flip of a lot, even though I've been trying hard to take my mind elsewhere. Not contacting her is relatively easy as I don't have her phone number anymore.. but I do secretly hope that she gets in touch with me. Even if it is just to say hi or something. All we can do is smile and keep going, better days are coming
LuCidiTy Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 i've been pretty much NC for 28 days. it was never really that hard for me. i contacted him once in an offline IM to vent when i hit the anger phase...don't know if he got it or not and don't care. at this point, he feels like a stranger. i don't have anything left to say to him and no longer think about him contacting me. i've accepted both that it won't happen and that i don't want it to. i'm past denial, anger, and onto acceptance i guess. must be working. i have no idea what it "should" be like.
Far Behind Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 i've been pretty much NC for 28 days. it was never really that hard for me. i contacted him once in an offline IM to vent when i hit the anger phase...don't know if he got it or not and don't care. at this point, he feels like a stranger. i don't have anything left to say to him and no longer think about him contacting me. i've accepted both that it won't happen and that i don't want it to. i'm past denial, anger, and onto acceptance i guess. must be working. i have no idea what it "should" be like. There is no "should"...everyone's feels like their own. There is no comparing. What feels right for me may not feel right for you, and so on.
LuCidiTy Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 yeah...it depends on so many things...the situation, the people, who's leaving who, who still cares, and the list goes on and on. i'm sad that he feels like a stranger to me now, but it's a different kind of sad than the last few weeks. i guess it's helping me let go.
NickP Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 NC's something that's easier said than done. n you can never explain how it feels. it's full of ups and downs. it's easier when you've got distractions, yet it's the sorta thing that makes you want to be alone. it makes you want to change your mind so many times because ur mind gets really clouded by what ur heart feels. it's hard. but if you get thru it (and im proud to say i did, which was for my own good), then you'll be doing somethin good for yourself. you'll feel proud of yourself. you'll never stop wondering if you made the right decision, but that answer will come with time. the way i see it is, if you love yourself, you have to use your head to make the right decision for your heart. gd luk.stay strong!
Far Behind Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Yeah, getting the heart to pay attention to the brain is vital!
Meaplus3 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 We've all been through the NC period. We know that we shouldn't contact the other person. We know that it's part of the healing process. We know that we need to be strong and shouldn't give into weakness. We know that it sets us back. We know that it's only going to torture ourselves. I'm generalizing here, but I'm going through a NC period and would like to ask the community: What does your NC period feel like? What should the NC period feel like? For me personally, it sometimes has a nervous feeling, an anxious feeling, mustering all my strength to NC the other person. I personally want it to feel more effortless. Thanks for reading. In the early stages I was a wreck. I had trouble sleeping, eating, concentrating, and I cried a ton. For me the temptation was so very high as xmm lived right nextdoor. I'm not sure how exactly it should feel like for you, however based upon what you stated that sounds very normal. I will tell you the longer you keep up with NC.. the more effortless it will become because in the process feelings will diminish. Best wishes. You can do it. AP:)
becky001555 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I was NC with my ex for four days and then for some unknown reason i got a text from him today, dunno if it means anything or not. But for just those four days NC was so hard! the temtation just to text or e-mail is ridiculous! i was having what i can only explain as anxiety attacks where my heart was beating so loud in my chest, my breathing was faster and my mind was coming up with so many ideas of 'whose he with, whats he doing.' so so hard but i guess its worth it in the end, now im gutted that iv got to go back to all that and start from square one as he broke NC!
Far Behind Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I was NC with my ex for four days and then for some unknown reason i got a text from him today, dunno if it means anything or not. But for just those four days NC was so hard! the temtation just to text or e-mail is ridiculous! i was having what i can only explain as anxiety attacks where my heart was beating so loud in my chest, my breathing was faster and my mind was coming up with so many ideas of 'whose he with, whats he doing.' so so hard but i guess its worth it in the end, now im gutted that iv got to go back to all that and start from square one as he broke NC! Ah, the anxiety...it does SUCK. I have become a xanax-popping bowl of jelly, but now feel on the mend. Today I felt almost normal again while I was at work. Took xanax anyway becaise that way I know I will sleep through the night.
sedona Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Today it's been two weeks of NC. For me, it involves a disconnect between the heart and the mind. My brain tells me that I just wasn't important enough to him and that I deserve to be with someone who unquestionably KNOWS that he wants to be with me. My heart loves him though and can't grasp that it's over. At some point, i hope that NC helps me gain true acceptance of the situation -- something I couldn't possibly attain when I still had contact with him because all contact generated hope. I constantly ask myself all those stupid unanswerable questions about what's going on in his head right now. Still hope that he'll call and we'll work things out. Again, that's my heart. My brain tells me that it's over. My brain prevents me from contacting him. A real struggle.
Chinook Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 THIS (the first post) is what my no contact felt/feels like. Even now... nearly 10 months later, it's still painful. Not as much as it was and I don't think about him as much as I did. But the fact I shared my life with that person, and he's now gone... that still hurts.
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