Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Why? It doesn't seem to be a moral issue for you. Given your other threads about purposefully choosing to "date down" out of insecurity, I can only assume you don't want to date a guy who is experienced because you're afraid of how you'll compare to his previous lovers? Ok, that's part of it, because of how I will compare with others from his past and also because of retroactive jealousy. I don't really want to "date down" anymore because I did that already and it didn't work out so I might as well "date up" now. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Ok, that's part of it, because of how I will compare with others from his past and also because of retroactive jealousy. I knew it! Where does this insecurity come from, CG? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 I knew it! Where does this insecurity come from, CG? I just want a guy that takes sex more seriously and not just as a recreational activity. It bothers me when guys THAT I LIKE are promiscuous, because it makes me feel like I am not special and that I am another notch on his belt. Most women want to feel special, like they are "the only one". Is that so bad? I don't want to be girl #50 or #100 or whatever. Also, I haven't been with a lot of guys, I only want someone who is SIMILAR to me because I think we would get along better. I don't know where my jealousy comes from. I have no idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I have some info for you: A guy who's slept with more than 2 women at 30 years old isn't promiscuous. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I didn't send spies. She saw them and told me without me asking. She is related to him and always at his place. Then wouldn't she know his dating habits? Why not just ask her if he sleeps around a lot, is always dating some new girl, or if he has had steady relationships. Having condoms around doesn't mean anything. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 It matters because I like to know what kind of person someone is before I date them. I don't want someone promiscous. I am not dating him yet.but I could be soon because we are talking and he is showing an interest in me. I wouldn't see it as a marker of his promiscuity, rather a marker of his responsibility and ability and willingness to practice safe sex. I'm not sure why you think it shows that he sees sex as something not to be taken seriously. I would think he wouldn't have condoms around if that were the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Ok, perhaps I am crazy but I am irritated that a guy that I am not even dating has condoms in his room, I know he has them because a relative of him who is my friend told me she saw them. Ok, so the guy is 30 and I am around the same age. He is single so he can do whatever he likes. I suppose its normal for grown men to have condoms just "in case" whatever that means. I can't help but be super annoyed tho. It means that he's been banging someone or is planning to and makes me think he's a player. I'm jealous! Oh and I'm not even dating him, I have a crush on him but knowing he has condoms turns me off, I don't want him banging anyone. Am I totally insane and ridiculous? Wow.. I had to read your post again.. cause I was sure you were about 17-18 yrs old.. I was shocked.. you're 30.. wow.. and you think that guys that age do not have sex???? geeezzz... he's not even your bf and you're concerned? You should read more about male psychology.. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Ok, perhaps I am crazy but I am irritated that a guy that I am not even dating has condoms in his room, I know he has them because a relative of him who is my friend told me she saw them. Ok, so the guy is 30 and I am around the same age. He is single so he can do whatever he likes. I suppose its normal for grown men to have condoms just "in case" whatever that means. I can't help but be super annoyed tho. It means that he's been banging someone or is planning to and makes me think he's a player. I'm jealous! Oh and I'm not even dating him, I have a crush on him but knowing he has condoms turns me off, I don't want him banging anyone. Am I totally insane and ridiculous? What you are is jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Ok ok I had a feeling I was being ridiculous but it helps to see it in writing from others in order to reinforce that fact. I won't worry about it anymore now because I don't want to be a total psycho. Do u guys think it's possible though that he has condoms but isn't even having sex but just has them? I mean having sex at this moment. What difference does it make? Whether he has condoms or not is none of your business. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Here's an idea. Go ahead and start dating him. Then, when you've done the deed, count the number of condoms in the box. Then, the next time you do the deed, count the number of condoms in the box again. If they've reduced between times, you've got your answer. Most men don't masturbate with a condom on, since the sensation is less. And you're an authority on men? The sensation is less during intercourse. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Of course he is allowed to have a prev relationship. Its just that I don't want to be with guy who has had lots od sex partners and casual sex. He hasn't been in a super serious relationship recently. Its just a prerequisite I have for guys. I don't want to date male sluts. I want someone who is similar to me. I have only been with two guys my entire life. The way you are talking is more aligned with that of a psycho... In other words, someone no guy would want to get involved with. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I am looking for someone who doesn't have casual sex or a lot of partners, someone similar to me. It's one of my prerequisites in a partner. I would rather pick a guy with less partners. Well at 30 years old I think you have got no chance. Link to post Share on other sites
AussieJack Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Unless you have a penis how on earth would you know? TBF is the "expert in residence " here on all matters, and especially those in which she has no knowledge or experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 No, it doesn't mean that he is a male slut. It's that he hasn't been in any SERIOUS relationships recently, more like "dating" so that means that he is having casual sex (I think). I could be wrong but that's just what I think. Why else would he have them? It would be different if he had them and if he just got out of a serious relationship, but he hasn't. There are so many guys out there that have condoms in the hope that they get laid. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 There are so many guys out there that have condoms in the hope that they get laid. I have two boxes in the drawer of my night table.. just in case.. and I'm a single female.. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I have some info for you: A guy who's slept with more than 2 women at 30 years old isn't promiscuous. I'd slept with more than 2 women when I was 30 and I was very promiscuous... and loving it! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I think it is ok to have condoms in his room, it is his room. He might have to spend his FSA money, didn't hide it becuase you are a friend of his or any other reason. Right now I have stuff like that in my room. I recently bought an assortment of stuff because I needed to spend my FSA money. I have condoms, feminine products and an assortment of other things. So in my single guy's case, I had to spend the money. FYI, the feminine products are not for me, they are for a friend of mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I have two boxes in the drawer of my night table.. just in case.. and I'm a single female.. You have two boxes? I'm good but I don't think I could go through 12 in one night! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 You have two boxes? I'm good but I don't think I could go through 12 in one night! two boxes.. that makes it 24.. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 two boxes.. that makes it 24.. Yeah, I know... 1 box is more than enough. Well unless you have some ribbed and some ultra thin etc etc... some with ticklers... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 I wouldn't see it as a marker of his promiscuity, rather a marker of his responsibility and ability and willingness to practice safe sex. I'm not sure why you think it shows that he sees sex as something not to be taken seriously. I would think he wouldn't have condoms around if that were the case. BECAUSE HE IS NOT IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!!! The last one he had was over one and half years ago and I'm SURE those condoms are not from back them. So that's why it means he is promiscuous!! It means he could be having sex with people he is not in a serious relationship. That's not the kind of guy I want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Wow.. I had to read your post again.. cause I was sure you were about 17-18 yrs old.. I was shocked.. you're 30.. wow.. and you think that guys that age do not have sex???? geeezzz... he's not even your bf and you're concerned? You should read more about male psychology.. Not all guys have casual sex. Some actually only have sex in serious relationships and not just one night stands. I just want a guy who hasn't had a lot of partners! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 BECAUSE HE IS NOT IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!!! The last one he had was over one and half years ago and I'm SURE those condoms are not from back them. So that's why it means he is promiscuous!! It means he could be having sex with people he is not in a serious relationship. That's not the kind of guy I want. Well then you got your answer.. now's the time to move on.. simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Not all guys have casual sex. Some actually only have sex in serious relationships and not just one night stands. I just want a guy who hasn't had a lot of partners! Well good luck with that... Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 BECAUSE HE IS NOT IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!!! The last one he had was over one and half years ago and I'm SURE those condoms are not from back them. So that's why it means he is promiscuous!! It means he could be having sex with people he is not in a serious relationship. That's not the kind of guy I want. You're living in cuckoo land. Link to post Share on other sites
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