MimiMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 While I appreciate the um...advice...I guess my question is not should I wait, but who on here has waited on what was the outcome. I am resolved. He truly loves me and takes care of me the best he can, even though he cannot legally call me his wife. He has even written me into his will in case something should happen. :confused::confused: I've heard it all!! get yourself some legal advice! I am sorry LAL, but how long has this guy been married?? He has kids as to what I've read. Have you helped this guy achieve anything other than an affair???? I know that you perhaps make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside- but for someone that calls herself very "loyal" it's like you are also cheating his family out of what is really theirs.
MimiMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 You are so cool Mimi! When are you going to get that divorce and call me and tell me that you're free? WHY does the D matter? LOL! Would that make me a "cake eater" if I didnt get one? wtf?! I am sentimentally single and sleep alone every night! that wouldn't be cheating on my stbxH.... Ok, let me start feeding you the same nonsense all these cheaters feed... LOL! Honey, the divorce is coming soon and when I get it, you and I will be Immortal and we will live happily ever after. BTW, I got paper ($) so dont let me give you the run that we are having economical issues. LOL!
nadiaj2727 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 He wrote you into his will? So, with a $5 bank account, if he dies in a car wreck today, you, his wife, and each of his children will get a dollar. Ha ha, $1 each. But seriously LAL, what comfort is it to you that he wrote you into his will if he only has $5 in his bank account? His house and other possessions will most likely go to his wife since they're married and living there together, and to his children since they're his children. So what is it that you are getting in his will if he should die while still married to her? I'm confused. And do you feel you have a right to get any of his money if he dies married to someone else that he has children with? Some people on here say "a spouse is not property" blah blah blah. But the fact is, they've built a life together and any money they have is a combination of mutual efforts. They DECIDED to get married and build such a life together, built on mutual efforts and sharing mutual (or soemtimes individual) struggles and rewards... including the financial benefits that come from being married (at least in the U.S.). Until they decide (or HE decides) to get divorced, they are still a part of a marriage and a joint life. I know this sounds harsh but you are a third party and if "his" money is going to you, it is being taken away from his family. To me that is not an attractive quality -- in my opinion he should divorce her before he leaves money in his will to another woman.
nadiaj2727 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 WHY does the D matter? LOL! Would that make me a "cake eater" if I didnt get one? wtf?! I am sentimentally single and sleep alone every night! that wouldn't be cheating on my stbxH.... LOL, "sentimentally single", that's a good one. My xMM used to swear to me that he wasn't married because he didn't "FEEL" married in his mind. I was like then why are we still in hiding??? Then he tried to tell me his therapist agrees with him that he's not married. She said separated meant not married. I said, your therapist's delusional. Separated means not divorced just as much as it means not married. You can "FEEL" you're not married as much as you want, but the law -- not to mention your wife -- obviously sees it differently. And it was an insult to me that he thought I would go along with what he feels and thinks instead of what I could see for myself (rings on her hand, no one else knowing they're separated let alone thinking they're not married, etc.) to be the truth. That was one of the final straws. Where do these guys get this stuff and why did I ever believe any of it?!?! It's like, welcome to Delusion Land, your ticket costs you eight months of your life in reality LOL.
MimiMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Ha ha, $1 each. But seriously LAL, what comfort is it to you that he wrote you into his will if he only has $5 in his bank account? His house and other possessions will most likely go to his wife since they're married and living there together, and to his children since they're his children. So what is it that you are getting in his will if he should die while still married to her? I'm confused. And do you feel you have a right to get any of his money if he dies married to someone else that he has children with? Some people on here say "a spouse is not property" blah blah blah. But the fact is, they've built a life together and any money they have is a combination of mutual efforts. They DECIDED to get married and build such a life together, built on mutual efforts and sharing mutual (or soemtimes individual) struggles and rewards... including the financial benefits that come from being married (at least in the U.S.). Until they decide (or HE decides) to get divorced, they are still a part of a marriage and a joint life. I know this sounds harsh but you are a third party and if "his" money is going to you, it is being taken away from his family. To me that is not an attractive quality -- in my opinion he should divorce her before he leaves money in his will to another woman. Where's the "LOYALTY" factor here? Jeez, what kind of world is this??? Nadia, wanna be my maid-of-honor?
Cagney Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Honey, the divorce is coming soon and when I get it, you and I will be Immortal and we will live happily ever after. BTW, I got paper ($) so dont let me give you the run that we are having economical issues. LOL! What about the will? Oh wtf, I don't care. We don't need much money honey! We can take the bus to Micky D's We can each have one hamburger, split the fries and a coke. Probably can't afford a shake, though. We'll live happily EVEN after
Cagney Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 ... what comfort is it to you that he wrote you into his will if he only has $5 in his bank account? I'd prefer it if you wouldn't point these things out quite so clearly! I was sort of wondering how far I could get if I had a few wills printed up. I was going to put Mimi into one of them.
MimiMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 LOL, "sentimentally single", that's a good one. My xMM used to swear to me that he wasn't married because he didn't "FEEL" married in his mind. I was like then why are we still in hiding??? Then he tried to tell me his therapist agrees with him that he's not married. She said separated meant not married. I said, your therapist's delusional. Separated means not divorced just as much as it means not married. You can "FEEL" you're not married as much as you want, but the law -- not to mention your wife -- obviously sees it differently. And it was an insult to me that he thought I would go along with what he feels and thinks instead of what I could see for myself (rings on her hand, no one else knowing they're separated let alone thinking they're not married, etc.) to be the truth. That was one of the final straws. Where do these guys get this stuff and why did I ever believe any of it?!?! It's like, welcome to Delusion Land, your ticket costs you eight months of your life in reality LOL. And not like you get a refund or store credit for the next time around... more like damaged goods in the next life time with all the bad karma! ha! my stbxH obviously considered himself a "not married in his head"... He left me so I am "sentimentally single" lol! I'm not going to be the W that sits there and allows this kind of behaviour (and I did for 3 yrs but I woke up and smelled the coffee!!) hoping that he's going to change blah blah blah blah... I have a life to live and deserve the right to be loved, respected, and appreciated. IF I am not going to EXCLUSIVELY be in your heart- I dont want to be there at all!! Even if I am the one that you're exclusively signed up with. F THAT! Ya heard Cagney! LOL!
MimiMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I'd prefer it if you wouldn't point these things out quite so clearly! I was sort of wondering how far I could get if I had a few wills printed up. I was going to put Mimi into one of them. LMFAO!!!! :lmao: You're stupid!!! I prefer Wendy's rather than Mickey D's. Get ready to step up your game, I am high maint. LOL! We are not allowed to post email addresses so you're assed out on the pic. That's another thing... LAL, a will can be changed at any time!! Don't be gullible and let this dude take you for a ride. I know love is love, but most marry in "love" and look at what happens.
Cagney Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) My xMM used to swear to me that he wasn't married because he didn't "FEEL" married in his mind. I was like then why are we still in hiding??? I thought I was the only dumb one That's what my exMW used to say! I was like - then why do you tense up whenever he rings your phone? BTW and FWIW: I think all this is still on topic and all part of the answer to, "What is the longest you waited?" Edited March 24, 2008 by Cagney
Lookingforward Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 He truly loves me and takes care of me the best he can, even though he cannot legally call me his wife. He has even written me into his will in case something should happen. Ummm, would that even hold up in court if he is still legally married at the time of his (unfortunate) demise ?? What would you say in defence of your claim to his estate? It was for 'services rendered' or what ? Just pondering here
Lookingforward Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 I prefer Wendy's rather than Mickey D's. You don't have Denny's in NY ?
MimiMe Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 You don't have Denny's in NY ? not in NYC though...
Lookingforward Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 shoot...and there I was thinking NYC had EVERYthing
GreenEyedLady Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Havent well all had that one person that we really thought it was the "one", it hits the fan and he/she not the one anymore!! Happiness is temporary... not a living soul has experienced it from beginning to end. So sorry that you're at a low point in life... Keep your chin up! Life is full of surprises!!! (It might help you if you weren't so pessimistic, though...FYI)
MimiMe Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 So sorry that you're at a low point in life... Keep your chin up! Life is full of surprises!!! (It might help you if you weren't so pessimistic, though...FYI) And you know me from?? Please! It's called "TRIAL & TRIBULATIONS"... I am sure you're familiar with them. Glad to see that you live in the moment though... very mature and optimistic. Tomorrow you can wake up and not be in the same great place as today. Don't go padding yourself in the back till your journey called "life" is over. Life is not always pink- that's why they sell rose colored shades!
KnownTruth Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I have been the OW for a year now. I am confident that one day we will be married, but as the approximate date we set for this is approaching, and will likely pass without any change (both of our choice), I am seeing a long wait as a very real possibility. Right now, I am a little daunted at the idea, but what can I say? If he wasn't the most incredible man ever, and our relationship one of those once-in-lifetime things, I would move on...but I won't until I have to. So...my question is...What is the longest you , as the OW or OM, waited to be together? And did you give up waiting, or did it end up the way you hoped for? Thanks for your input! It is nice to have a place where other good people who are in a situation like ours can understand each other. I gave MM about 10 months before I decided to end the affair. His wife found out about us 4 months ago and she told him to go with me if that is what he wanted. Of course he told me that he wanted to be with me, but it wasn't that easy to leave. He was worried about losing his house and kids. He was suppose to decide with his wife if he was going to leave or not, but they just didn't talk about it or at all and it got swept under the rug. I figured that MM had is chance at that moment to leave his wife and he didn't . I felt like I got thrown under the bus. He still wanted to continue our affair and kept telling me that we would be together one day. About 2 months ago I got tired of the whole thing and the guilt and ended it once and for all. I told him I was not going to be sloppy seconds anymore and that I needed to move on with my life with a single available man. We are still email pals(so far one email nothing mushy, just clean conversation) but that is it. Lesson learned and I am over it.
moon&stars Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Oh my gosh, no one wants to read a full page story in one whole paragraph. It is too hard to read! Break it up. so that we can read it!
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