Update: The Aftermath... A very changed life.

[Findingme]

I won't lie and say my energy level is the same. However, before was not normal. I do compensate with caffeine and nicotine. Quitting next week though because my women's soccer league starts up soon. Soccer motivates me to quit and then after the season is over I'm alway back

 

The creative side is far from gone. However, you will notice that you actually prioritize the things that you are creative / passionate about. Now I focus on the activities for myself that I love the most. Theatre, soccer and reading. I play the occassional video game, watch a tv show here and there and movies only when I really had time. I used to try to fit everything in at once. The things I love, I'm just as good at as ever.

 

I've told my boss, coworkers and friends that have been around me the most the last 6 months about my diagnosis and that I am being treated. They noticed that I was not myself and knew something was really wrong. I was truly manic. Fast speech, 1-3 hours sleep per night etc... If you haven't experienced this yet, believe me that you NEVER want to. I know that mild manicness is so pleasant, you feel more creative etc... but it does get worse eventually. The risk is that it can get out of control so quickly that its ridiculous. They all understand and inevitably have a family member or friend with the condition as well. There really isn't stigma like there used to be. I wouldn't worry too much about that. Anyway, no need to tell anyone unless, like me, you have telegraphed it to everyone... sheesh... boy did I.

 

Go to the doctor and talk about it. Get a therapist. Can't hurt.

 

I will definatly admit to the manicness. And yes it does feel so good, ALMOST but not quite like my meth days YEARS ago. It's why I did the stuff because it made me feel soooo ALIVE and that's how this makes me feel, but like meth it seems to be out of control!

I CANNOT go without sleep however when I do sleep I am constantly dreaming, seriously, no matter when I get woke up, I always get woke up from a dream. Every once in a while, not often though, I will sleep without dreaming and it seems to be the BEST sleep. It just doesn't happen very often. For the last few months I do have trouble sleeping, I might get to sleep but wake up after a couple of hours not able to sleep again for 3-4 hrs however I am a wreck without sleep.

In the last year my life has been turned upside down. I am not going to blame everything on this because the problems started a long time ago however I seemed to have a bit of control. Then last june, my 17th wedding anniversary my daughter came over for what I thought was an anniversary say hey to Mom and Dad only she handed me 3 pregnancy tests and asked me what does this mean? I said Jess, this means exactly what it says..... pregnant! Girl I felt like I needed to sit down and put my head between my knees or I would faint. Since that day many things have happened. We had to plan and pay for a wedding in 2 months time, then I bought my new truck, then I changed jobs AND went to nights from days, part time to full time, WINTER is always hard on me but this was so baddddd! Saw my childhood boyfriend I haven't seen in 20 years, THAT was HUGE, he was my first love and I never got over him. Then my daughter had my new grandbaby, then I started an email affair (Dang I can't believe I actually admitted that's what it was) with my first love. That got WAYYY out of control and very quickly. Both of us not happy with our spouses, you know the deal. Then started talking to a guy at work and that escelated out of control. I knew it while it was happening but seemed like I could do nothing to stop that trian wreck. No we never had sex but we did kiss. I like the guy and he is a friend and we do have fun together laughing but I am NOT in love with him, it was purely physical. I do care about him and like him a lot but that's it. This was only supposed to be a distraction because I knew I was getting too emotional about my first love and it didn't feel good. He is married, loves his wife and neither of us are/were prepared to leave our spouses for each other. I found myself getting depressed if he didn't write or sounded distant, or whatever.

Then about 2 weeks ago, maybe even less, I have so totally lost track of time with this shift. My husband found a letter I'd written saying I was unhappy. It's gone downhill from there and VERY quickly. He somehow was able to get into that alternate email account, read the emails, talk about humiliating! Oh MY GOSH....... they were REALLY bad! I admitted to him about the guy at work. He knows everything now! In some ways I wish I hadn't told him because he's so paranoid now but with reason.

I am still talking to the guy at work because he is my friend and I am still emailing my lost love BUT the emails are vastly different now. He knows I am trying to make my marriage work and so is he but we are STILL friends, above and beyond anything else he was and still is my friend.

About the meds, I worry that I will lose the energy, I NEED that energy, I work a high energy job and I can't slow down. I won't say what I do but I NEED that energy. No I am not a dancer or stirpper or anything even remotely like that... HAHAHA...... I just have a job that has to be done by a certain time every night.

I don't think the depression part of it effects me that much HOWEVER at that time of the month LOOK OUT, I become like jeckle and hyde, a raging maniac. Last month I swore at my supervisor, she could have put me off the clock but she didn't. The next night I did appologize for my behavior but while it was happening I knew I needed to just shut up but I was in such a rage and the only thing that set me off was I was a minute late and she didn;t ask if I wanted annual or LWOP and that it was even an issue because of the weather we'd been having. Even during Christmas which is our WORST heavy season I didn't stress that bad. It was just insane!

Another thing, I don't see the elevated self importance, in fact quite the opposite, for the most part I feel very inadequit. As if someone will realize I don't quite measure up and I am just as stupid as other people they say have no business working there. They will see my chunky spots, will think I am fat, too skinny, ect. I see my faults as elevated. I am afraid of being laughed at or rejected. It's like my lifelong dream has been to photograph for National Geographic, yeah I know, HUGE dreams and it wouldn't happen but even going to school for it scares me because I am so afraid of failing. When I got divorced from my ex I stayed away from home because I was a failure.

Now to top all this off as if this isn't enough, my daughter tells me they are moving to Wyoming! I almost lost it! I am so sad about that!

Ok, enough for now, this has gotten WAYYYY too long. Sorry!

[BetrayedMM]

You may feel you need to be manic, but I guarantee no one else needs you to be manic! Not even your work. I'm very sure your job performance and efficiency would increase if you were stable.

 

And, with 2 simultaneous EAs going on and you not willing to end it, you are dooming your marriage.

 

Do something.

[Findingme]

You may feel you need to be manic, but I guarantee no one else needs you to be manic! Not even your work. I'm very sure your job performance and efficiency would increase if you were stable.

 

And, with 2 simultaneous EAs going on and you not willing to end it, you are dooming your marriage.

 

Do something.

 

It's not the manic I need, it's the energy and upbeat attitude I USUALLY have. Actually my job proformance and efficiency are fine. I get my job done on time, usually early every night and done correctly. I asked my hubby if I am correct in this assumption and he agrees with me, he works there too.

As far as the affairs go (weird to even say that about me), I admit now that I did have an EA with my lost love but that is over and we both know it. The emails aren't 5 a day like they used to be, now they are maybe once a week at most and usually very short. No sex in them at all, no love talk, we actually talk about the good things going on in our marriages. Like I said we are friends.

As far as the one at work, it's not like we hang out, we talk to each other at work, our machines are right next to each other, would be VERY hard to avoid contact! We have to work together without conflict for the next 20+ years.

[EmotionallyYours]

You may feel you need to be manic, but I guarantee no one else needs you to be manic! Not even your work. I'm very sure your job performance and efficiency would increase if you were stable.

 

And, with 2 simultaneous EAs going on and you not willing to end it, you are dooming your marriage.

 

Do something.

 

You have been IN (are in) manic episodes. I know that it seems that you will always be able to "pull it off"... but you won't. It will (it is really) all come crashing down. I think you are manic now (or when you posted) in fact. I can tell by your writing style. If you look through my posts, you can tell when I am. You may even be "cycling".

 

FIRST. If you can, take a bit of time off. If you can't, it is imperative that you sleep normally and do whatever you can to get in 8 hours. Try over the counter sleep help if you have trouble until you can see someone.

 

SECOND. Take everything out of your life that you don't absolutely have to do. Do not try to solve everyone's problems and just deal with what you have to.

 

THIRD. Try to avoid contact (email/phone/in person) with any EA. This is always the hardest I'm sure, but it seems that since your H knows it will be easiest.

 

FOURTH. Actually this is 1st... do it while doing everything else... make an appointment with a behavioral health Dr./Therapist.

 

It won't be that bad. Doing 1 - 3 will have some immediate positive results. The 4th one will give you long-term results and help you monitor your health.

[BetrayedMM]

I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

The affairs are on the back burner, not ended. A safety net maybe? As far as the work, frankly, I bet there are others who are quite capable of doing it without being manic, why would you be any different?

 

It makes me sad, because I've seen exactly where hanging on to mania can lead. It's dangerous. It almost seems as if it takes an absolute disaster to see it that way though. I just feel sorry for those who will be included in the eventual catastrophe if you must learn the hard way, yeah, you'll deserve it because you are fully aware of what you are doing, but will they?

 

My story and EY's story are very strong warnings and examples of what I mean. Think about it, please.

[EmotionallyYours]

Forgot to mention. Extreme stress in your life absolutely is a trigger for manic episodes. For me it was having a high-stress job and getting my first role in a play (the lead) during the busiest time at work. You have multiple stress factors PLUS the sleep pattern change. The perfect storm my dear... that's how mine started too.

[Findingme]

You have been IN (are in) manic episodes. I know that it seems that you will always be able to "pull it off"... but you won't. It will (it is really) all come crashing down. I think you are manic now (or when you posted) in fact. I can tell by your writing style. If you look through my posts, you can tell when I am. You may even be "cycling".

 

FIRST. If you can, take a bit of time off. If you can't, it is imperative that you sleep normally and do whatever you can to get in 8 hours. Try over the counter sleep help if you have trouble until you can see someone.

 

SECOND. Take everything out of your life that you don't absolutely have to do. Do not try to solve everyone's problems and just deal with what you have to.

 

THIRD. Try to avoid contact (email/phone/in person) with any EA. This is always the hardest I'm sure, but it seems that since your H knows it will be easiest.

 

FOURTH. Actually this is 1st... do it while doing everything else... make an appointment with a behavioral health Dr./Therapist.

 

It won't be that bad. Doing 1 - 3 will have some immediate positive results. The 4th one will give you long-term results and help you monitor your health.

 

LOL I tried to go back and edit but my post was already responded to so I couldn't so it REALLY sounds out there. Yes my mind is all over the place and it's been like that for YEARS. I hate that bouncing crap! Can't finish 1 thought before another 1 starts. it gets to be just too much sometimes.

 

I have told hubby I NEED that sleep and it seems we start talking and before I know it 1/2 the day is gone and with it my chances for 8 hrs sleep. I've always been pretty worthless without at least 7 hrs and the thoughts just seem to come faster the more tired I am.

 

I am unable to take time off work at the moment but am taking a week off in July, yeah I know it's 3 months away but we have to put in for annual leave in Janurary and that's when I was able to get it.

 

The contact has been answered in the post before this one.

About seeing a Dr, honestly I think that will be the hardest one to do because of my phobia about mental health issues. SCARY SHT!

 

youa re simply amazing! THANKS!

[Findingme]

Forgot to mention. Extreme stress in your life absolutely is a trigger for manic episodes. For me it was having a high-stress job and getting my first role in a play (the lead) during the busiest time at work. You have multiple stress factors PLUS the sleep pattern change. The perfect storm my dear... that's how mine started too.

 

HAHA, I had to laugh at this post because I figured this out yesterday. All those fast thoughts aren't always crazy! HAHA

 

By the way, one of the reasons my other post was all over is that I am tired and haven't been to bed yet. It's my night off THANK GOD so I will get rest.

 

You aren't kidding, the perfect storm just about explains it!

 

Before this winter I could usually control things for the most part by going to the tanner once a week or so but going months not seeing the sun at all just REALLY got to me! For most of this winter I haven't been able to go because of the weather, my hours, hubby needing my truck ect. Going tomorrow though. YEA!

[EmotionallyYours]

HAHA, I had to laugh at this post because I figured this out yesterday. All those fast thoughts aren't always crazy! HAHA

 

By the way, one of the reasons my other post was all over is that I am tired and haven't been to bed yet. It's my night off THANK GOD so I will get rest.

 

You aren't kidding, the perfect storm just about explains it!

 

Before this winter I could usually control things for the most part by going to the tanner once a week or so but going months not seeing the sun at all just REALLY got to me! For most of this winter I haven't been able to go because of the weather, my hours, hubby needing my truck ect. Going tomorrow though. YEA!

 

You sound OK now, but do take the steps I suggested. Please. You have a lot more going on than what your originally posted and you are going to spiral if you don't take care now.

 

If you want to see more of the ugly aftermath as a deterrent, I'm starting a thread or two over in separation and divorce. You can focus "pain" elements of consequences as preventative therapy.

[Findingme]

You sound OK now, but do take the steps I suggested. Please. You have a lot more going on than what your originally posted and you are going to spiral if you don't take care now.

 

If you want to see more of the ugly aftermath as a deterrent, I'm starting a thread or two over in separation and divorce. You can focus "pain" elements of consequences as preventative therapy.

 

Yeah I do have a LOT more going on but there just isn't enough room in cyber space to put it all and I am sure you have much better things to do than keep reading about my emotional baggage.

I am definatly taking to heart what you have said. You just don't know what a relief it is to see there is a name for what is going on with me, weird I know but I have always had to compartmentalize everything after I've analized it to death that is. HAHAHA

I will read your other threads as well. The only major differences in our stories are hubby doesn't throw fits, I've decided on a different route in that I am going to try to make my marriage work and I am not an actor. Other than those I was totally shocked at the similarities as was hubby.

[EmotionallyYours]

The only major differences in our stories are hubby doesn't throw fits, I've decided on a different route in that I am going to try to make my marriage work and I am not an actor. Other than those I was totally shocked at the similarities as was hubby.

 

I'm glad for your decision. Not an actor? I didn't know I was one until last year. Never know until you try! Oh god, I'm trying to pull you in too.... AHHHHHH

[45Reverse]

Wow...I got 'deleted'...and I didn't even use full cuss words. I guess I must have pissed off the moderator<?>

 

Many times people with the emotional characteristics of common cheaters would rather "Delete" the truth from their lives than face it. You think I have a good case for suggesting that's happening here w/ my posts?

 

I had a valuable point to make regarding the divorcing wife introducing the kids to the OM and the potential for her to cause some serious emotional hurt to kids....You know, the same kind of hurt she complained that her STBX was inflicting on her....And it got deleted. That says a lot about you people.

 

I challenge anyone here to come up with a set of reasons for introducing them to the OM that TRUELY keep the kid's best interests in mind.

 

I'm waiting....

[Darth Vader]

I have been honest with him truly. He knows we are over. I've been out of the house since Thanksgiving and have let him know that I am much happier this way. The therapy session I attended with him was to help him through the divorce process by talking out what the problems were with someone there to kind of mediate. We will be filing within the next two weeks and have the Marital Seperation Agreement pretty much finalized.

 

I've told him the truth about everything including the mild EA I had about 7 years ago that I did not act on. I've discussed at length the intimacy, communication and anger issues that were a combination of both of us. The worst is that he thought it was all the bipolar and had a very hard time accepting that our relationship underneath didn't work either. I am far from stringing him along. The only things that I have held back (which I may have mentioned earlier or on another thread) are the things that seem to attach him basic character. It would seem that way (like attacks) to him, but in reality may be traits and interests that would match perfectly well with another woman. Also, after I told him everything, he somehow figured out my password to my alternate email account and not only had the basic details, but the intimate ones as well. He knows the full story beginning to end.

 

 

Um, OK. How hubby handling it? Is he mad, PISSED?

[Darth Vader]

I will definatly admit to the manicness. And yes it does feel so good, ALMOST but not quite like my meth days YEARS ago. It's why I did the stuff because it made me feel soooo ALIVE and that's how this makes me feel, but like meth it seems to be out of control!

I CANNOT go without sleep however when I do sleep I am constantly dreaming, seriously, no matter when I get woke up, I always get woke up from a dream. Every once in a while, not often though, I will sleep without dreaming and it seems to be the BEST sleep. It just doesn't happen very often. For the last few months I do have trouble sleeping, I might get to sleep but wake up after a couple of hours not able to sleep again for 3-4 hrs however I am a wreck without sleep.

In the last year my life has been turned upside down. I am not going to blame everything on this because the problems started a long time ago however I seemed to have a bit of control. Then last june, my 17th wedding anniversary my daughter came over for what I thought was an anniversary say hey to Mom and Dad only she handed me 3 pregnancy tests and asked me what does this mean? I said Jess, this means exactly what it says..... pregnant! Girl I felt like I needed to sit down and put my head between my knees or I would faint. Since that day many things have happened. We had to plan and pay for a wedding in 2 months time, then I bought my new truck, then I changed jobs AND went to nights from days, part time to full time, WINTER is always hard on me but this was so baddddd! Saw my childhood boyfriend I haven't seen in 20 years, THAT was HUGE, he was my first love and I never got over him. Then my daughter had my new grandbaby, then I started an email affair (Dang I can't believe I actually admitted that's what it was) with my first love. That got WAYYY out of control and very quickly. Both of us not happy with our spouses, you know the deal. Then started talking to a guy at work and that escelated out of control. I knew it while it was happening but seemed like I could do nothing to stop that trian wreck. No we never had sex but we did kiss. I like the guy and he is a friend and we do have fun together laughing but I am NOT in love with him, it was purely physical. I do care about him and like him a lot but that's it. This was only supposed to be a distraction because I knew I was getting too emotional about my first love and it didn't feel good. He is married, loves his wife and neither of us are/were prepared to leave our spouses for each other. I found myself getting depressed if he didn't write or sounded distant, or whatever.

Then about 2 weeks ago, maybe even less, I have so totally lost track of time with this shift. My husband found a letter I'd written saying I was unhappy. It's gone downhill from there and VERY quickly. He somehow was able to get into that alternate email account, read the emails, talk about humiliating! Oh MY GOSH....... they were REALLY bad! I admitted to him about the guy at work. He knows everything now! In some ways I wish I hadn't told him because he's so paranoid now but with reason.

I am still talking to the guy at work because he is my friend and I am still emailing my lost love BUT the emails are vastly different now. He knows I am trying to make my marriage work and so is he but we are STILL friends, above and beyond anything else he was and still is my friend.

About the meds, I worry that I will lose the energy, I NEED that energy, I work a high energy job and I can't slow down. I won't say what I do but I NEED that energy. No I am not a dancer or stirpper or anything even remotely like that... HAHAHA...... I just have a job that has to be done by a certain time every night.

I don't think the depression part of it effects me that much HOWEVER at that time of the month LOOK OUT, I become like jeckle and hyde, a raging maniac. Last month I swore at my supervisor, she could have put me off the clock but she didn't. The next night I did appologize for my behavior but while it was happening I knew I needed to just shut up but I was in such a rage and the only thing that set me off was I was a minute late and she didn;t ask if I wanted annual or LWOP and that it was even an issue because of the weather we'd been having. Even during Christmas which is our WORST heavy season I didn't stress that bad. It was just insane!

Another thing, I don't see the elevated self importance, in fact quite the opposite, for the most part I feel very inadequit. As if someone will realize I don't quite measure up and I am just as stupid as other people they say have no business working there. They will see my chunky spots, will think I am fat, too skinny, ect. I see my faults as elevated. I am afraid of being laughed at or rejected. It's like my lifelong dream has been to photograph for National Geographic, yeah I know, HUGE dreams and it wouldn't happen but even going to school for it scares me because I am so afraid of failing. When I got divorced from my ex I stayed away from home because I was a failure.

Now to top all this off as if this isn't enough, my daughter tells me they are moving to Wyoming! I almost lost it! I am so sad about that!

Ok, enough for now, this has gotten WAYYYY too long. Sorry!

 

 

OMG! Was that a Manic episode? I'm not making fun here, I sorta know someone who may think they have it! I thought I might have it, but the part about getting 2-3 hours sleep a night killed it for me, I sleep way more than that! Whew! Dodged that bullet! Now I know pretty much what it is, and what it ain't!

[BetrayedMM]

OMG! Was that a Manic episode? I'm not making fun here, I sorta know someone who may think they have it! I thought I might have it, but the part about getting 2-3 hours sleep a night killed it for me, I sleep way more than that! Whew! Dodged that bullet! Now I know pretty much what it is, and what it ain't!

 

Yep. That's what a manic episode looks like.

 

The stbx will go thru that and crash repeatedly throughout a single day if unmedicated or on ineffective meds. But, rapid cyclers are rare, the cycle can be YEARS long in some cases.

[Darth Vader]

Yep. That's what a manic episode looks like.

 

The stbx will go thru that and crash repeatedly throughout a single day if unmedicated or on ineffective meds. But, rapid cyclers are rare, the cycle can be YEARS long in some cases.

 

 

WOW!:eek::eek:

[Darth Vader]

Wow...I got 'deleted'...and I didn't even use full cuss words. I guess I must have pissed off the moderator<?>

 

Many times people with the emotional characteristics of common cheaters would rather "Delete" the truth from their lives than face it. You think I have a good case for suggesting that's happening here w/ my posts?

 

I had a valuable point to make regarding the divorcing wife introducing the kids to the OM and the potential for her to cause some serious emotional hurt to kids....You know, the same kind of hurt she complained that her STBX was inflicting on her....And it got deleted. That says a lot about you people.

 

I challenge anyone here to come up with a set of reasons for introducing them to the OM that TRUELY keep the kid's best interests in mind.

 

I'm waiting....

 

 

I had Posted a comment simular about posting the truth or something and the truth getting deleted, that post is still there!

[Findingme]

OMG! Was that a Manic episode? I'm not making fun here, I sorta know someone who may think they have it! I thought I might have it, but the part about getting 2-3 hours sleep a night killed it for me, I sleep way more than that! Whew! Dodged that bullet! Now I know pretty much what it is, and what it ain't!

 

I have no idea, until a few days ago I always thought bi-polar was being deeply depressed and moody. I am not that. I thought I had OCD and think too much. Because the thoughts would be racing all the time, couldn't finish a thought before another came along. I usually sleep 8 hrs a day, I like to sleep too much not to BUT the last few months I go through periods where the thoughts won't stop long enough to actually fall asleep or I wake up and can't get back to sleep because of the thoughts and at other times it's because hubby and I are talking again trying to work through all this crap. Believe me, those times aren't my idea but I also can't sleep if things aren't "right". And if by going to sleep instead of talking is going to be a deal breaker with my hubby then I go without sleep because even though my head is all screwed up right now I do love him and do want it to work.

[EmotionallyYours]

I have no idea, until a few days ago I always thought bi-polar was being deeply depressed and moody. I am not that. I thought I had OCD and think too much. Because the thoughts would be racing all the time, couldn't finish a thought before another came along. I usually sleep 8 hrs a day, I like to sleep too much not to BUT the last few months I go through periods where the thoughts won't stop long enough to actually fall asleep or I wake up and can't get back to sleep because of the thoughts and at other times it's because hubby and I are talking again trying to work through all this crap. Believe me, those times aren't my idea but I also can't sleep if things aren't "right". And if by going to sleep instead of talking is going to be a deal breaker with my hubby then I go without sleep because even though my head is all screwed up right now I do love him and do want it to work.

 

Make sure your husband knows how important the sleep is. Without it, you will get worse faster or you could even have a worse manic episode. Some even have delusions during these phases. The lack of sleep can push you that way. If he wants you to get better, he can smooth things over until you two can take the proper time to talk. Not being able to fully sleep because of thoughts racing is also disturbing. That is how I am at my very worst times. The times where I've made my worst decisions. Do see a doctor.

[Findingme]

Make sure your husband knows how important the sleep is. Without it, you will get worse faster or you could even have a worse manic episode. Some even have delusions during these phases. The lack of sleep can push you that way. If he wants you to get better, he can smooth things over until you two can take the proper time to talk. Not being able to fully sleep because of thoughts racing is also disturbing. That is how I am at my very worst times. The times where I've made my worst decisions. Do see a doctor.

I've told him, even before all this happened that sleep is extremely important. I really have a hard time thinking straight without sleep. When we were going through the worst of everything I almost wanted him to just go ahead and leave so I could sleep and get my head together!

 

The last couple of days since I've been getting sleep my mind is MUCH calmer, I was able to take my kids to dinner and focus more on THEM. They really enjoyed it and I could tell they felt special because Mom finally took some time to pay attention to THEM!

 

It seems like when I get sleep I am so close to being back to my old self and I feel mentally better. I am a little nervous though because hubby just called to tell me that they are switching up which cities I am going to run on my machine. I HATE change, it feels chaotic and out of my control.

[EmotionallyYours]

I've told him, even before all this happened that sleep is extremely important. I really have a hard time thinking straight without sleep. When we were going through the worst of everything I almost wanted him to just go ahead and leave so I could sleep and get my head together!

 

The last couple of days since I've been getting sleep my mind is MUCH calmer, I was able to take my kids to dinner and focus more on THEM. They really enjoyed it and I could tell they felt special because Mom finally took some time to pay attention to THEM!

 

It seems like when I get sleep I am so close to being back to my old self and I feel mentally better. I am a little nervous though because hubby just called to tell me that they are switching up which cities I am going to run on my machine. I HATE change, it feels chaotic and out of my control.

 

I did leave because of the sleep. My kids were the same way when I managed to be together enough for them at the time. It is so hard to focus on them because everything else seems so immediate and urgent. Try to relax. Good luck and be well today.

[Findingme]

I did leave because of the sleep. My kids were the same way when I managed to be together enough for them at the time. It is so hard to focus on them because everything else seems so immediate and urgent. Try to relax. Good luck and be well today.

 

yeah sleep is REALLY inportant! And Tylenol PM....... gotta love em.When my kids and I got home they thanked me and said they had fun and were glad we could do it. Now that hubby is on the same shift and nights off we are going to try to start doing stuff as a family at least once a week.You are right, for the last few months my mind has been consumed with work and the computer so it's been so hard to even take the time to pay any attention to them. It's been slowly getting better.

[mental_traveller]

Good post. Hope things turn out better for all involved.

 

I have one question - with the benefit of hindsight, what would you have done differently? Do you have any advice for others in similar situations to the one you faced?

[EmotionallyYours]

Good post. Hope things turn out better for all involved.

 

I have one question - with the benefit of hindsight, what would you have done differently? Do you have any advice for others in similar situations to the one you faced?

 

I would have been more honest in marriage counseling when we went 7 years ago.

 

If that wasn't possible, I would have asked (actually I did... demanded is more appropriate) more marriage counseling earlier when there was no OM involved. If that didn't work, insist that we should get a divorce earlier.

 

I was weak in that it took the push of someone else that I really wanted to be with to leave the marriage. I would still be in an unhappy marriage now without the OM I think. I wish I would have done it without that push so I wouldn't have the guilt of betrayal on top of the guilt I already had for wanting to be divorced from my husband in the first place. Also, if it does work out in the end with my OM, we will always have the gossip / stigma of what we did. It will mostly be speculation since only our families know the truth, but it will be there.

 

One last thing. It is healthier I'm sure to be on your own for a bit. With the complictation of the OM in there as well, I am jumping from one relationship to another. A lot of people would/has advised me to drop him as well or take a break so I can "stand on my own two feet for a while". I really don't want to because I am happy. If I would have done this the right way before I fell for someone else, I would have had that time to know what it really is like to be on my own.

 

I guess that's it. Good luck if you are the one who needs the advice.