my friends pregnant at 15!

[Gwyneth]

Wow, best of luck to your friend...

 

I'm 26, single, and pregnant, and I am imaging it will be hard for me. But lots of love and support is more than a girl needs at a crucial time like this.

[Lizzie60]

Why is she pregnant at 15? I didn't know you could be married at that age.

 

Why is she pregnant at 15?

 

Simple... she had unprotected sex with her bf..

 

I didn't know you could be married at that age.

 

What are you talking about? Did I miss something.. I didn't read anything about marriage.

[Lizzie60]

Interesting. I always thought you couldn't be married anywhere until you were 16, regardless of parental consent.

 

If my teens get pregnant before they are 18, it will not be pretty.

 

 

I don't think there is much you can do..

[Green]

To the origional poster, I had sex with a girl using a condom and then she missed her period and thought she was pregnant and turned out she wasn't so I can some what relate to this situation. First off I'm sorry that people on this thread got you angry, I think they meant the best with their advice and not to insult you. I don't know if you yourself are sexualy active but I'm sure the past few days have been pretty emotional, but you sound like you tried to be a good friend any ways so I doubt your friend felt as alone as she would have if you wern't there. I don't know if you are sexualy active or not, but I hope you and your friend stay abstinent atleast until you reach the age of consent. You sound very mature, and people have been having babies at 15 since the begining of time, its just my personal belief that the best way to raise a kid is to be the person you want to be. And if you have a child as an unmarried teenager it will make it alot harder to live the life that takes you to your true potential. So when I say I hope you and your friend don't have sex for a long while I hope you know I'm just saying it because I think its good advice and its not suposed to be a put down on you or your friend, and I hope you dont take it that way, you strike me as a smart girl

[chillibean270]

actully she was protected ..

[chillibean270]

thank you thank you very very much ..

finally sombody understands!!!

im still a virgin and not too keen on losing it anytime soon.well.

i was welcoming them at first but that lady just kep nagging and nagging it was really making me madd.yeah, I wanted to be that friend who wasent gonna call her a whore and i just wanted to be there for her. i knew she would need somebody. and once again thank you very very very much.

=]

[Kamille]

I'm glad your friend isn't pregnant, but I just wanted to say that one of my best friends had her now teenage boy at the age of 16 and they are both very happy to be together. She's a fantastic mom and he's a great kid. I even asked her at the time if she ever regretted anything and she said : it made going to college harder but I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, right now her career is picking up and she can totally focus on it. She's proof that in life, you can always make do with what you have if your heart is in the right place.

 

Sorry people tried to impose their own personal beliefs as truths onto you.

[ProudMommy]

No one was being mean.

Don't come to a public forum asking for advice and thoughts if you aren't ready to hear both sides and to hear the truth.

If you're only looking for responses from people that will tell you what you want to hear, then you should clarify that in the first post.

Otherwise, take what you get and stop whining about it just because it's not what you want to hear.

Kthanks. Buh bye.

[penkitten]

Yes, adoption is not easy at all. But sometimes you have to put your own feelings aside and think about what would be best for the CHILD. That child did not ask to be brought into this world and it deserves to live a decent life.

I am not saying that this 15 yr. old could not provide that...maybe she could. But it's only common sense to realize that the child would live a more stable life if it was being raised by parents who had a loving relationship, who had the financial and emotional capability to live a good life.

And not only will having a baby at 15 put strain on the CHILD'S life, but think about what it will do to the 15 yr. old mother herself....her childhood will be over, and her life will no longer be about her anymore..unless of course she just dumps the kid off on her own parents and continues on with her own life.....in which case, adoption would have been better anyway, don't you think????

I just don't believe that a 15 yr. old, no matter now "mature" they are for their age, has the emotional capability....not to mention the financial means, to raise a child.

 

although you give really great insight that teenagers raising a baby is not only hard on the baby but also hard on the teenagers, i still feel like everyone and every situation is different and must be treated as such.

 

i was pregnant at 15 and so were some of my friends. some of them aborted their babies, some gave them to their parents to raise, some put them up for adoption, but i was one of the ones that actually kept my child and gave him a life.

 

when you are in the shoes of a pregnant teenager, every opinion that others give to you bounces from thought to thought. instead of being talked into something, the mother to be, really should sit down and weigh out her own options.

 

sometimes the easy road is not the right road for that person to be on.

sometimes the hardest thing to do is also the right thing to do.

 

i am glad and have never for one slight moment regretted having my son when i did. i never cared that i gave up my childhood so that he may have one. he is now the oldest of 4, he is 14, he is a sweet boy, who loves his family and has dreams and goals and desires of his own. i try my best to encourage him to live life and not to be scared of things, but i also keep a close check on him as i do not want him to grow up too fastly as i did. i WANT him to have the time i missed out on as a teenager. i DREAM that he continues education and finding himself before he settles down to have children. however, i would be right at his side to help him if he came home with the same news i told my parents as a teenager. i could not hand my newborn to a bunch of strangers and i couldn't expect him to either.

 

all i can honestly say is that this girl must now make a choice that will affect her everyday for the rest of her life. she needs some privacy to make a choice and reflect on it without others interfering, including this father to be (because quite too often and sadly it just doesn't work out.) suggest counseling if possible to help her.

[LadyInsanity]

It's been a long time since I posted here, but this one drew me in.

 

As an adoptee, I would never suggest my teen abort or put their child up for adoption.

I couldn't imagine giving away a part of my family...my grandchild.

 

If my teen was especially young...I would assist in raising the baby until my child was able to do it 100%.

There would definately be rules....I wouldn't act as a free babysitter so my child could continue partying....but school, work...etc, I would care for the baby.

I am the Mother of 2 teen daughters 14 & 18....we've been fortunate not to have had this as an issue....but I would be supportive.

 

I see some posters giving advice about teens...and they're barely past their teenage years themselves.

 

See me in 12 to 15 years....opinions & views change.

[Elyssa]

well and the bitch is back again!

i listend and thank'd you!!

but yet you argued and argued with me

so seriously "ms. perfect mommy" chill the hell out!and leave me alone!really!

 

"No one was being mean."

my ass 0.o

 

"hey i got an idea!! lets push this ****ed up girl until she flys over the edge!! yeah great funn!!!omg.. shes dead.... ahahaha!!

jobs done!

ohh...wait i gotta stab her a couple more times to make sure shes lifeless.."

 

I'm amazed that with this incredibly rude and immature behavior you pretend to be a good friend.

 

This is an open forum where anyone can post. ProudMommy was giving you useful advice and YOU, not her, was the one doing the trashing and name calling. What does that say about you? If you're incapable of listening and considering other opinions which may not be to your liking, you have no business posting here to begin with.

 

-E

[brainless twit]

I usually don't post up here, but a good teen pregnancy thread always gets my attention.

 

I had my son when I was 15. I was on birth control AND taking it correctly but a medication I was on affected how well it worked (not an antibiotic, I wasn't a total idiot). I finished high school, went to college, got a master's degree, and now consider myself to be pretty damn successful. I had help from both sides of the family, but only the minimum needed for me to go to school. My son is gifted, does well in school, and hasn't required any therapy so far. His father and I got married when he was 4 - I didn't want to get married just because I was pregnant, so we waited until we wanted to.

 

I know it's a general assumption that teen pregnancies are bad and that young girls are incapable of taking care of another life. After all, talk shows always portray the girl who has a baby and leaves it with her mother all the time while she goes out partying and the like. However, with the right amount of support, it doesn't have to be the end of the world. My grandmother was 15 when she had her first child, and no one blinked an eye. I think it's disgusting to say that the girl in this situation was immature to get pregnant on birth control - how many times do we see that in the lower sections of the forum, from women who are in their 30s or higher? Things happen, and it's how you react to them that makes the difference.

[sedgwick]

 

honestly, have any of you adopted a child or gotten an abortion? .. did you regret it?

 

At 36, I'm one of the few women I know who has never had an abortion. I've never been pregnant; I'm lucky. But when we were 16 I went with my best friend when she had an abortion.

 

The doctor was very nice to her, it was very professional, and it was over quickly. She did not regret it. She still wonders who the child would have been, but she managed to finish high school, go to college, marry a man with an education and a good job, get a good job herself, and have two kids to whom she is an amazing mom. She appreciates her kids even more now because she was able to choose when to have them, and to give them a life she couldn't have given when she was in high school.

 

I know women who have given up children for adoption and regretted it. I know far more women who have had abortions and have not regretted it -- or, they regretted that it happened, but given their circumstances at the time they knew they made the right decision, the one that would give the best quality of life not only to them but to their eventual, wanted children.

[lovestruck818]

Honestly my opinion is there are condoms, birth control and the morning after pill for emergencies- use it. If you are going to be an idiot and not use protection then you deserve the consequences.

 

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but it's the truth. I wish your friend good luck in whatever outcome she chooses.

[mental_traveller]

Im sorry i WILL NOT advise her to get an adoption or abortion.. would you adopt your own child?

how bout kill your child?

i think not.

 

But she isn't 15. Being a single mother is a bad enough environment to raise a kid, but a 15 year old single mother? Even if the guy marries or moves in with her for good, I feel sorry for the son/daughter.

 

She should make the choice she is most comfortable with, but you shouldn't write off adoption - it may not feel amazing for the mother, but it is the kid's interests you should have at heart rather than your friend's.

[Shellz937]

I find it amazing that teenagers today are becoming parents when they are still children themselves. It all goes to the maturity of the individual. I know a variety of people who have had open adoptions for their kids. They get to know their biological son/daughter and they can help the adoptive parents out especially when a child acts a certain way. Like my one friend would stare and study people, well their child did the same thing. It helped the adoptive parents understand their kid better.

 

In my personal opinion and yes I may get flamed and get called a prude but, I figure if you are not ready to be a parent then you are really not ready to have sex.

[sam light]

:confused:things like this happen.. but shes preganant wth a 14 year old guys baby and hes all for playing daddy ..

at first when he told me, i thought it was a sick joke .. but i was wrong i love my friend so much .. and i want to be with her through it in case he chickens out .. (btw she lost her virginty to this guy) but shes moving wich living in a small town and being pregnant is a good thing .. but shes moving over 200 miles away . and you know i wanna be there for her but ..i dont know .. my mom sure as hell wouldent drive me up to see her ever weekend ...

jeez .. any comforting coments would be nice .. thanks

The baby will be her focus, you will be less important to her.

The only good thing about having a kid now, is you friends parents can help her with the chores.

All in all she'd be better off without it.

[chillibean270]

hey man im sorry, i did ask forit,, but it started to get a little outta my reach... she was asking me to make a decision for my friend that i didnt want to be involved in .

and i apologize for being rash .

but guys, enough is enough!

i can only take so much prodding before i explode.and again im sorry, but i did ask her to leave me alone several times.and she didnt.

and once again thank you guys for the encouraging thoughts and stories i really appreciate it.

[boshemia]

Why is it a good thing that she is anti-abortion?

 

Because Chilibean has been raised to belive that all human life is precious even that of an unborn child.

 

Why would chilibean think hat a good friend would advise against adoption?

 

Because Chilibean's family has been there. Her great grandmother gave a child up for adoption in the 50's. It wasn't her choice, because back then girls were not given a choice. She was shipped off to a home for unwed mothers, she was given a false name and treated like the scum of the universe. As soon as the baby was born it was taken from her, and given to a "proper family. For fifty years Chili's great grandmother kept it a secret... it shamed her, and it shamed her family and every year on her childs birthday she cried.

 

When her next child was born she cried for the first, and nobody knew what she was talking about when she screamed for her baby. When her daughter located her in 2000, Chili's great grandmother was overjoyed. They reunited, and have grown very close, but Chili's great Grandma still felt so much shame over it that it was years before she could talk about it.

 

Why would chilibean not be a good friend and tell her friend these things?

 

Because her mother would not be here if everyone thought like that. Her mother was born to a young mother. She was raised battered and absed, but she made up her mind to give her kids a better life than she had.

 

The really big question, is why is everyone acting like chililbean is the one that is pregnant, like she is the one having sex, unprotected sex at that?

 

She isn't, she is still a virgin. She intends to stay a virgin, and I think she has proven that she is a strong willed girl and wont let anyone sway her from her goal. Chilibean isn't pregnant, she is concerned about a friend who may have been.

 

So why did she come here?

 

Because I thought it would be a good place to get advice that I couldn't give her. I said much the same as many of you. Your friends childhoods are over. They really screwed up, and they will have to live with the conqequences. Hopefully you are smart enough to learn from their mistakes.

 

As someone who was born to a young mother, and raised by a loving grandmother... there are worse things in the world. Yeah, sometimes I wish I hadn't been born. When I look at my kids though... I'm glad I was. I brought three beautiful lives into this world and that is something. I've brought positive change to this world, and I've done good things. I was *that close* to being aborted myself.

 

Chili- Watch your mouth young lady! I raised you better than that, and even if someone does make you angry you always have the choice of ignoring them. I have always taught you to treat others the way you want to be treated, and I don't care if she hit you first... you are better than that!

 

I've raised you to be a shepherd not a sheep!

Edited April 6, 2008 by boshemia