Author barefoot880 Posted March 11, 2008 Author Posted March 11, 2008 As a woman, I feel that a man should want and need to communicate to his woman about his desires. If not, how is she to know how her man wants to get it. You should want to share your fantasies and desires. That's the point. I don't want her to know. I don't care to let her know but it seems like the women I've been with make a bigger deal out of it than I do. I guess I'm trying to understand why. If I don't want to share what turns me on then that's my problem not hers. It should not bother her. I may very well end up alone for the rest of my life but there is a bright side to this. I have close to 0% chance of getting a woman pregnant by mistake.
NuTuDating Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 (edited) Ok so women are looking for men who can financially provide for them. That seems fair enough since we all need money to survive on this planet. But it seems like financial security is not enough to satisfy a woman. She demands much more such as sexual intimacy. I believe it is my duty as a man to provide for a woman financially but why is it my duty and obligation to perform for her sexually? Ok ok I might even be willing to meet her sexual needs by going through the motions of intercourse if it means that much to her. But that may not be enough for her. She's going to want to know what turns me on and I don't want to tell her. How many women here feel that a man is obligated to communicate to his girlfriend what turns him on sexually? Would you consider this alone to be a dealbreaker if he didn't? I have no desire to disclose to any woman I date or marry what positions I like in bed or what turns me on. 1) Being in a relationship means that you care about the other person. And, since no two people are alike, what she cares about may or may not be what you care about. What YOU care about may not mean a hill of beans to her. But in a relationship, you at least need to acknowledge each others' needs and wants to some degree. 2) Being in a SERIOUS relationship (at least to me) means having that you are there to support each other. 3) Frankly, if a girl asks me what turns me on, I take it as a pretty blatant sign that she wants to please me. I'd pitch an instant tent and tell her exactly what makes me happy. AND... I'd be asking her the same question so that I could make sure she's getting what she needs, too. It's not like she asked you to buy her a Porsche. Edited March 11, 2008 by NuTuDating
D-Lish Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 If you're making $200,000 a year, all they're after is your money, a quick marriage, some kids and a divorce. Marry me????
DanielMadr Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Godamit Barefootxxx, if she asks you what you desire the answer is always the same. "You baby". She doesnt tell you her fantasies either - being gangbanged in garage or whatever. Its only a fantasy. Since you are not planning to realize it then she doesnt need to know. Why would she.
Ebeleptik38 Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I have no desire to disclose to any woman I date or marry what positions I like in bed or what turns me on. WTF? I guess if you really don't care about sex, and making it better for not only yourself but your SO. I don't understand your logic...and by this point don't care. I think you don't understand the reciprocation of duties that a relationship requires...and yes that includes sex....it really shouldn't even be an issue especially when it comes to sex. Have fun slacking the probably the most intimate part of any relationship you engage in
Trialbyfire Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Shhhhh...it's a secret what I like or what I want. Guess...
Touche Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 And there are still many women looking for a meal ticket, a 'sugar-daddy', and an 'early retirement plan" ~ aka SAHM. I've always loved your no-nonsense approach but you made me lose ALL respect for you with that one comment. I hardly call being a SAHM, "early retirement!" Are you nuts? There have been many times when I've said that my job was easier than this. You're never off the clock it seems. In my case, I'm not strictly a SAHM, as I work for my H's practice, but I'm kept plenty busy even without that duty. Walk a mile in a SAHM's shoes before you call this retirement. What ignorance. As for the OP, it's ridiculous to think that women are looking to be taken care of. My H had nothing but debt when I married him. I had more in savings than he did and gave him money to pay his taxes. You're not required to support a woman nor are you required to tell her your sexual fantasies. If you can't find a woman, put the blame where it should be, on yourself.
serial muse Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 has a sexual fetish that a woman cannot fulfill... This is exactly what I was thinking. I don't know, OP - sounds like you want what she can give you (companionship, possibly even love, although of a limited variety) but don't want to give much to her. I read your other thread, too. I'm amazed that this woman stayed with you for four years when you gave her no intimacy - sexual, confidences, anything. I'm wondering what you guys did for four years. What did you share? Was there any emotional intimacy at all?? In your other thread you suggest that it's painful to you to ponder being friends, so that suggests to me that you do have romantic feelings for her. But you don't sound emotionally generous at all. Here's a person who isn't satisfied with the moneybags - she actually wants you. Physically and emotionally. She wants closeness with you. And you're basically saying that that's too much for you to give. You'd rather just give money, because it requires no emotional investment from you at all. That's pretty cold. I'm curious - what do you see as an ideal relationship?
Touche Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Shhhhh...it's a secret what I like or what I want. Guess... I know, really. How ridiculous. So what if the OP fantasizes about other men and/or bondage etc? If you can't tell your sexual secrets to the one you love that's pretty sad. It's sad but again, it's not required. There are plenty of women out there who wouldn't mind.
Trialbyfire Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I know, really. How ridiculous. So what if the OP fantasizes about other men and/or bondage etc? If you can't tell your sexual secrets to the one you love that's pretty sad. It's sad but again, it's not required. There are plenty of women out there who wouldn't mind. I find it counter-productive to keep secrets of this nature. Don't you want someone to please you? To get, you have to ask. To hoard it, makes no sense.
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