barefoot880 Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Ok so women are looking for men who can financially provide for them. That seems fair enough since we all need money to survive on this planet. But it seems like financial security is not enough to satisfy a woman. She demands much more such as sexual intimacy. I believe it is my duty as a man to provide for a woman financially but why is it my duty and obligation to perform for her sexually? Ok ok I might even be willing to meet her sexual needs by going through the motions of intercourse if it means that much to her. But that may not be enough for her. She's going to want to know what turns me on and I don't want to tell her. How many women here feel that a man is obligated to communicate to his girlfriend what turns him on sexually? Would you consider this alone to be a dealbreaker if he didn't? I have no desire to disclose to any woman I date or marry what positions I like in bed or what turns me on.
AriaIncognito Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 How many women here feel that a man is obligated to communicate to his girlfriend what turns him on sexually? Would you consider this alone to be a dealbreaker if he didn't? I have no desire to disclose to any woman I date or marry what positions I like in bed or what turns me on. Relationships are usually intimate. Usually, you want to have sex with your partner. Usually you want to share your fantasies (if you have any) with your partner. Usually you'd want your partner to please you (by telling her what you like) and usually you'd want to please your partner by asking what she likes. Why is it you seek a relationship, if you're not interested in intimacy?
2sunny Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: just stay single honey and life will be much simpler for you! maybe i smell a troll.....
Author barefoot880 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 (edited) I guess a better question is what is so important about sex? It does not matter how many other good qualities I have going for me as a man if I'm afraid of sexual intimacy? It does not matter if I'm making 200,0000$ a year and that she does not have to worry about money? It does not matter if I do everything else right in the relationship? To answer one of the poster's questions I seek out a relationship because I enjoy having intelligent conversations with a woman about the world. I enjoy cuddling on the couch during a movie. I enjoy taking vacations with her and exploring new things together. Yes I would like to please her in every way sexually & emotionally but I don't want her to worry about pleasing me in return. I'd rather do it on my own. I don't feel comfortable disclosing my sexual fantasizes to anybody. Edited March 10, 2008 by barefoot880
2sunny Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 i suppose the proper question would be - what is it that you are so afraid of? as far as sexual intimacy goes... there is no reason to give of yourself to the opposite sex unless you intend to give yourself totally, without any hesitations - mind, body and spirit - to be connected to one another. what is to be gained by holding back?
AriaIncognito Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I guess a better question is what is so important about sex? It does not matter how many other good qualities I have going for me as a man if I'm afraid of sexual intimacy? It does not matter if I'm making 200,0000$ a year and that she does not have to worry about money? It does not matter if I do everything else right in the relationship? To answer one of the poster's questions I seek out a relationship because I enjoy having intelligent conversations with a woman about the world. I enjoy cuddling on the couch during a movie. I enjoy taking vacations with her and exploring new things together. Yes I would like to please her in every way sexually & emotionally but I don't want her to worry about pleasing me in return. I'd rather do it on my own. I don't feel comfortable disclosing my sexual fantasizes to anybody. Sex is one of the closest things 2 people can share. It is, for most people, a necessary part of an intimate relationship. I've felt like you in the past, that sex was unnecessary. The reality of it was, it wasn't that I didn't like it or want it, it was that I wasn't with the right person anymore. I had been with him a long time (4 years) and well, it grew stale. We grew apart. It's quite possible that you'd be interested in a physical relationship if you found the right woman. Else, if you think you'll never want a sexual relationship, then I'd suggest trying to find someone of like mind. It wont be easy, but there are people out there that dont have sex drives or whatever.
Kamille Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Is it just the question: "What are your sexual fantasies?" that bothers you or actual sexual intimacy? Because if you don't feel like answering a question, that is entirely up to you. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy sexual intimacy (which to me is more about cuddling after sex and exchanging the smitten smiles then actually revealing all of oneself in talk). In fact, I hate the "what pleases you most questions". I don't like defining it, but I'm good at exploring and willing to let myself be explored. And, you know, nowadays, financial stability is important, but most women can provide that for themselves.
Author barefoot880 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Is it just the question: "What are your sexual fantasies?" that bothers you or actual sexual intimacy? Because if you don't feel like answering a question, that is entirely up to you. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy sexual intimacy (which to me is more about cuddling after sex and exchanging the smitten smiles then actually revealing all of oneself in talk). In fact, I hate the "what pleases you most questions". I don't like defining it, but I'm good at exploring and willing to let myself be explored. And, you know, nowadays, financial stability is important, but most women can provide that for themselves. True most women these days can financially support themselves which would explain why many women don't want to commit to a man. They see no reason to get into a committed relationship with a man if they can already provide for themselves. Men are only good for two things: That's their money and sex.
AussieJack Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 .. But it seems like financial security is not enough to satisfy a woman. She demands much more such as sexual intimacy. You poor, poor dear ! Given the choice i would always rather be with a sexually demanding woman that have to "provide for her security" ..BTW, guys, that is womanspeak for .." I want to live a life of luxury and self indulgence without lifting a finger. I am a western woman therefor I am ENTITLED to go the the salon every second day in my new BMW and buy 1000 pairs of shoes and it is HIS job tp pay for all this.
Author barefoot880 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 I would not dare to approach a finanically independent woman. I know better than that. She will reject me because she has no use for me. That's how it was back in the old caveman days. Women went after the men who could provide for them materially. Those were the only men who got the women. Today it's worse. Even if you as a man can financially provide for them it's not enough. They demand sex.
2sunny Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I would not dare to approach a finanically independent woman. I know better than that. She will reject me because she has no use for me. That's how it was back in the old caveman days. Women went after the men who could provide for them materially. Those were the only men who got the women. Today it's worse. Even if you as a man can financially provide for them it's not enough. They demand sex. huh? demand? yep, i definitely smell a troll...
AussieJack Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I believe it is my duty as a man to provide for a woman financially but why is it my duty and obligation to perform for her sexually? If you feel so reluctant to provide for her sexually, then I am willing to step in and shoulder that task - It will be a burden BUT what are bros for? Shoot me a pic of your squeeze and your Visa # - I will need to wine and dine her first of course BTW Does she like bar-b-que and camping ? Nude sky diving ?
City_girl Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Don't think this is about sex at all, this looks to me like you finding a woman you don't consider your equal in order to avoid real intimacy. Financially independent woman have no need for you? Or they won't put up with this crap? Some people are givers some people are takers and some are sharers. I think this sex issue is your way of making sure that you don't have to give of yourself
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I guess a better question is what is so important about sex? It does not matter how many other good qualities I have going for me as a man if I'm afraid of sexual intimacy? It does not matter if I'm making 200,0000$ a year and that she does not have to worry about money? It does not matter if I do everything else right in the relationship? To answer one of the poster's questions I seek out a relationship because I enjoy having intelligent conversations with a woman about the world. I enjoy cuddling on the couch during a movie. I enjoy taking vacations with her and exploring new things together. Yes I would like to please her in every way sexually & emotionally but I don't want her to worry about pleasing me in return. I'd rather do it on my own. I don't feel comfortable disclosing my sexual fantasizes to anybody. Wow I feel the same way I'm a very sexless person I just don't have the intrest in it to be honest. I rather like you say take care of myself so if your not a troll after all wanna get togher? lol just kidding..
sally4sara Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 You state that women want to be provided for and it is your duty to provide for a woman. You do recognize that a lot of women don't expect to be provided for but that you wouldn't date a woman who wouldn't need you to support her financially. Then you say you have no interest in sex for yourself; you would rather see to your own sexual pleasure than share with a woman what would please you sexually. Part of the fulfillment of being in a relationship is pleasing each other in different ways. These ways do not always include financial support, but usually it does include sexual intimacy. I going to guess you have many insecurities about yourself sexually and wish to seek out a particular kind of woman to avoid facing them. It doesn't seem so much like you actually believe it is your duty to provide for a woman so much as it is that you feel if you DO provide for her, it should get you off the hook from being very intimate with her. What is it about your fantasies that make you feel so secretive about them? Would you be happier with a man but don't feel it is right to be gay? Or do you have Asperger's Syndrome? I only suggest these because you say you WOULD give her sex, but that you would still need to see to your own release so it isn't that sex puts you off completely. If it did you wouldn't be able to perform. I also suggest these because your ideals of how women are seem very....stunted I guess is the only way to describe it. For the most part I don't know why you wish to seek out a relationship. At least not until you work on these issues. If a woman is sitting at home while you provide for her, how much great conversation do you think she will have about the world after a while? And if you cannot achieve release with her, there isn't much chance of children for her to NEED to be at home all day for in the first place. So your ideal relationship isn't a very realistic one.
Woggle Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Intimacy is an improtant part of any relationship but I do agree that some women can never be satisfied. You can give them the world and then they want the galaxy and after you give them the galaxy they want the universe. After they have the universe they are still not happy and want to divorce you because you supposedly neglected them while earning the universe but if you don't give them the universe they call you a loser and think they settled. A man just can't win.
Gunny376 Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 While its true that many more woman in this day and era are financially independent ~ and don't need a man to care for them financially ~ the truth of the matter is that there are still women who need a man to care for them? And there are still many women looking for a meal ticket, a 'sugar-daddy', and an 'early retirement plan" ~ aka SAHM. I know, I meet them almost everyday. They find out I'm retired military and single and they get that "chi-ching" look in their eyes! You look at the personals on Yahoo and Match.Com and if your a man? Don't even bother unless you make less than $75K a year? This in a Southern state where the per capital household income is less than $34K? Women in their 40's and 50's still think they're back in HS or college ~ back in the day? Too many women think they were born with everything they need to get through life with! Sorry? I don't do the "cat-lady" thing! For many women? All a man is? Is a meal ticket, a handy-man, a source of income, a "go-fer" and a bug killer? You marry one of them? Buy them a car, a house, furnish it ~ and they've got you painted into a legal corner ~ they think they own you. Can talk to you and treat you anyway they want. The sex goes away ~ and they best not catch you with "satisfying yourself" nor cheating ~ or its divorce time! NOT to say all women are this way ~ its just that the ones that aren't? Are generally already spoken for? LS women (the regular posters) are the excpetion ~ in of and as a general rule ~ why I don't know. So, my and your points are mute on the subject? Your average woman on the street? Isn't anything but a waste of time, effort, energy and money. Ditto for your average "Joe" for the ladies. (That door swings both ways!) Bottom line? Finding the "right-one" is hard work!
stillafool Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 How many women here feel that a man is obligated to communicate to his girlfriend what turns him on sexually? Would you consider this alone to be a dealbreaker if he didn't? I have no desire to disclose to any woman I date or marry what positions I like in bed or what turns me on. Why wouldn't you tell her? You are cheating yourself by not telling her what you want in bed. Don't you want her to please you? You want to provide financial security for her and not expect anything for yourself??? Ladies, what a catch!!!!!
DanielMadr Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Many people bribe their brain pleasure centers with buying new things. It is called being materialistic. Always was, always will be. However, welcome to the real world. People want sex and people want money. It is just to find the one whose priorities match yours.
DetroitGirl Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I think City_Girl said it best. Barefoot must have some pretty deviant fantasies. I mean if you don't talk about them, do you try to "creep" in a position during sex to let her know what you want to do? Sounds like you are the one who has some issues because I have never come across a M who didn't ask to try something or even attempt it during intercourse. She will let you know whether she likes it or not. During your dates, you have never felt close enough to discuss sex? I am new here so what is the true definition of a Troll?
malaclypse Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Why wouldn't you tell her? You are cheating yourself by not telling her what you want in bed. Don't you want her to please you? I get the impression he's either asexual or has a sexual fetish that a woman cannot fulfill...
AdrianaLima Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 As a woman, I feel that a man should want and need to communicate to his woman about his desires. If not, how is she to know how her man wants to get it. You should want to share your fantasies and desires.
DanielMadr Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 As a woman, I feel that a man should want and need to communicate to his woman about his desires. If not, how is she to know how her man wants to get it. You should want to share your fantasies and desires. Buenos Tardes senorita Lima, Aimee Mullins is Marine Corps instructor? Confidence is pretty necessary for troopers.
Legend Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 If you're making $200,000 a year, all they're after is your money, a quick marriage, some kids and a divorce.
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