Phateless Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 i tried that. if i could just get her on the phone i think i could talk to her and make her understand. we didn't talk for a couple months once and i emailed her nice apologetic letters. it made her uncomfortable. she said stop sending me love letters lol. see she wants a relationship where there is no arguing and no serious talks. she wants to just enjoy somebodys company and thats it. shes had some tumultuous relationships so the first sign of another one she bolts. you have to talk sometimes don't you? she just wants everything to be roses 24 hours a day. she d tried dating agin ion the past and then came back to me because she wasn't being appreciated. Now I try to do the right thing and she doesn't appreciate me. I just get so frustrated. I respect she wants things to be simple. I think thats great and all but is that realistic? You can't ever "make someone understand." What you're hoping to do, in essence, is talk her out of her feelings - basically convince her that she's not feeling what she's feeling. This never works. Trust me, I've tried in my past relationship. You have to realize that when you act a certain way, people will REACT a certain way. Regardless of how you meant it, this is how she feels now. Reread your own posts, and if possible, reread your IMs with her, and try to read them as if you were her. Your behavior IS very erratic, and to be honest, if a girl behaved this way around me, I would call her a psycho and run like hell. You need to get your anger under control, and if you are so frustrated with her that you have an incredibly short fuse, maybe you guys aren't good together. If anger and behavior like this is out of character for you, maybe you guys should part ways. If this behavior is common for you, you need to deal with it on your own and sort this problem out before you have any chance of a successful relationship - with ANYONE. Her refusing to talk about things is a big problem, but if you're yelling at her and sending mean texts, why would she want to talk to you? You see what I'm saying? My ex did pull this crap with me, and in that case, my anger stemmed from my frustration with her refusal to work on our problems. After it ended, I realized that I should have broken up with her years ago when I first realized my needs weren't being met. I am a very mellow person, and the bad situation is what made me angry. It sounds like a combination of both in your situation - I think she's not willing to put the work in to sort out the problems, and you get so angry and frustrated with her for this that it sets you off. Again, very volatile combination. Yelling and screaming and sending mean texts - that's your problem that you need to work on. Maybe take an anger management class and a little bit of therapy? At the very least it might help you figure out whether you should blame yourself or blame her and end the relationship. Good luck!
DanielMadr Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 You obviously were not a happy person in this relationship. Some say that opposite of love is not hate but power struggle. Why would you dwell in a relationship which brings you no joy? Or why would you try to bring it to life again? No reasons I suppose. Just move one. No hard feelings, no remorse. Just 'Bye honey, we dont get along'. She seems to me a little bit of control freak and drama queen, anyway. Dont mind her remarks towards you...she wants to hurt you. Let it slide and move on. Some guys are bad "enders". They try and try to resuscitate the relationship because they hate the feeling somebody dont like them or it is like they failed. No it is important to know when to leave and forget. You have the right to pick a life partner who dont get on your nerves that much. You dont have to and you cant change people. You dont get along, its a pian, walk away. No drama, no argument, just walk away and find someone better.
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