Owl Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 All of which should clearly tell you that she's cake-eating...she's clearly NOT going to leave him, regardless of his behavior. Which brings it all back to...are YOU willing to remain being the OM to a cake-eating wife with a potentially violent husband? Where SHE'S at doesn't seem to bother her...the issue is...does it bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 All of which should clearly tell you that she's cake-eating...she's clearly NOT going to leave him, regardless of his behavior. Which brings it all back to...are YOU willing to remain being the OM to a cake-eating wife with a potentially violent husband? Where SHE'S at doesn't seem to bother her...the issue is...does it bother you? I totally agree with this. Doesn't sound like she is going to leave no matter what he does. I wouldn't think its a good idea to get caught up in this even further than you already were/are. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malaclypse Posted March 1, 2008 Author Share Posted March 1, 2008 I've been thinking about this a lot and of course you guys are right. Also, reading her second mail today, I'm can just smell the lies... The last thing I want is to go back to the crazy love-addiction that we had during the A. I had two good healthy long-term relationships before I met her, and that's what I need, not this ****. If she writes again I will just tell her that I will avoid and ignore her, ask her to stop coming to lunch and that if she still does, there will be no flirting, no talking, no nothing between us. I had arranged a date on sunday with a cool single girl but yesterday I called it off... and now I regret it. It seems this night the common-sense fairy came to me in my sleep and fixed my priorities.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malaclypse Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 She wrote me again, a sappy letter full of how much she loves me and that I'm hurting her and blahblahblah... I replied: "You chose to stay with (Husband), I respect your decision. If you ever leave him, we can talk again." Crap. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Good for you. Don't settle to be second fiddle. Now she'll either DO or she won't. Go on with your life, keep busy and try your best not to focus on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malaclypse Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 This is getting absurd. She mailed again, I told her to stay out of my life, and she replied that she will continue to come to lunches and events at work, because she needs to see me, and she thinks she's entitled to that. I didn't even bother replying... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 So once again...just how are you going to go to FULL no contact while both you and her H work there? Not to mention that she's still emailing you...which of course is continued contact on its own. Why not tell her (no one says you have to carry out on this) that if she contacts you again, your forwarding all of her emails to her H? Again, no one says you have to follow through...since you're worried that some form of abuse may happen. Tell her point blank that what she is doing is harrassment...its not welcome, she isn't entitled to ANYTHING where you're concerned, and that if it continues, you'll be forced to take action against her. It bites, but I don't see any other way for this to end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malaclypse Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 So once again...just how are you going to go to FULL no contact while both you and her H work there? Not to mention that she's still emailing you...which of course is continued contact on its own. Why not tell her (no one says you have to carry out on this) that if she contacts you again, your forwarding all of her emails to her H? Again, no one says you have to follow through...since you're worried that some form of abuse may happen. Tell her point blank that what she is doing is harrassment...its not welcome, she isn't entitled to ANYTHING where you're concerned, and that if it continues, you'll be forced to take action against her. It bites, but I don't see any other way for this to end. Well, obviously full NC is impossible because of her unwillingness to stay away from my workplace. But I will just ignore and avoid her as much as possible. I thought about talking to her H again, but I will only do this if she really starts some full-blown harassment. I can deal with just sitting at the same table sometimes, and she's too scared of her husband to actually start talking to me in public. I know, it won't really end until she finds a new OM... but I guess this won't take too long. I didn't reply to her last emails, and I won't in future, so she'll just have to look for the attention somewhere else... Anyway, I have a new date with the single girl planned this week-end...wish me luck! Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Just another thought....since she is emailing you....maybe block her and she wont be able to anymore. Its possible she might would get in touch with you other ways, but for now block her, if you truly do not want ehr emailing you anymore and since you do not plan on emailing her back. Link to post Share on other sites
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