richardcruz Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 So I'm still doing nc..Regardless of how hard its been to not call her, I've stuck by it thus far. My weekend was kind of interesting. First night I tok this girl out to dinner that I met last two 3 weeks ago.th whole night she was holding my arm and hand and hugging me and putting her face next to mine. You would think that this would make things so much easier to forget about my EX, but honestly all it did was made w me think about her. I was really bothered by it but I just kinda went with it. She knows my situation and how I just broke up with someone so i'm not leading her on. At the end of the night it seemed that she wanted a good bye kiss but I couldn't give her one because i'm just not there yet. I just gave her a hug instead. All I could do was imagine my ex holding my hand and I was thinking to myself if only it was her that was here with me. The next day I took out some other girl that I met and went to a club. We'll turns out this girl gets really drunk and ends up making out with another guy. I didn't really care much about that but It showed me just how far I am from where I'd want to be. If only I could go back to the time when I was happy with her. At the end of my night when I got home. I was lying down in bed and thinking about the past two days. Yeah I went out and did something but all for what. All in all I didn't really enjoy it. I looked at my phone. I so felt like texting her but I knew I couldn't. In my mind, it would play out like this; I would text her and tell her that I miss her terribly and she would say the same. She would proceed to tell me how sorry she was for treating me so badly. Now, In reality, as much as it hurts, she probably wouldn't respond. I'm sure she doesn't really realize how messed up she was and I doubt she misses me at all. If she did she would have called me or text me by now. Her memory still lingers and I cant stop thinking about her. I really hate it and I wish I could just get passed all of this hurt already. Going out on these dates hasn't helped and if anything, it has shown me how I really have nothing to give to someone else at this point; no feeling, no emotion, nothing. Im just a shell. NC on day 19 hasn't got any easier, just a little more tolerable. The urge to call is still there but my will to not go back to day one is getting stronger. Its the pain from the way that she treated me at the end that has left a gaping hole in my heart. Thats what makes me feel like crying at times.
BklynGuy Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 How long were you with this girl? Two years? It's going to hurt and bother for some time. Everything you're experiencing now is normal. Stick with it and when you're OVER her then it may be possible to be friends. I for one believe it's best to leave people alone once you break up with them. Stick with NC, keep your distance, give yourself time to grieve & heal. These girls you're messing with now just sound like they're rebounds. Stay strong.
Author richardcruz Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 Here's the original story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t141326/ Her's what happened the last time I broke 15 day NC http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142704/
CalamitousJane Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Hi Richard, It's great that you've made it to day 19! But I'm not surprised it still hurts. The first time I went NC with my ex it was 27 days, and every day I cried about him. Couldn't really look at anyone else. But somehow those 27 days of crying did me good. I was back in contact with him for a couple weeks, just long enough to really understand that he can't give me what I'm ready and willing to give him. This second round of NC is different - I really understand that he's not going to suddenly become the committed partner I want and need. Waiting for him makes no sense. But at day 19 that was impossible to understand. Hang in there Richard, you're doing great.
Author richardcruz Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 Well guys, I have been having the HARDEST time staying NC. Last night I was out with my friends having some drinks and I was so close to texting her.. It always goes down the same way; I have my cellphone in my hand and I'm typing the message that I want to send her and I keep on deleting it only to type something else. In the end I save the message to my drafts folder and survive another moment of NC just to struggle again the following day. This morning I wanted to text her " i really miss you" but I didn't send the text. So what happens when you know all the reasons why you shouldn't call the person, and everyone around has been more than supportive and has give you all the reasons why you need to stay away from her yet you still feel drawn to texting her. I've never been NC for this long and each day is getting harder. Its an uphill battle. In my mind, everyday that goes by is a another day that my memory fades from her mind. I feel that I have to contact her. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I just want to tell her that I miss her.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Well guys, I have been having the HARDEST time staying NC. Last night I was out with my friends having some drinks and I was so close to texting her.. It always goes down the same way; I have my cellphone in my hand and I'm typing the message that I want to send her and I keep on deleting it only to type something else. In the end I save the message to my drafts folder and survive another moment of NC just to struggle again the following day. This morning I wanted to text her " i really miss you" but I didn't send the text. So what happens when you know all the reasons why you shouldn't call the person, and everyone around has been more than supportive and has give you all the reasons why you need to stay away from her yet you still feel drawn to texting her. I've never been NC for this long and each day is getting harder. Its an uphill battle. In my mind, everyday that goes by is a another day that my memory fades from her mind. I feel that I have to contact her. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I just want to tell her that I miss her. Get your Sac up homie!!!!!! It's time to man up, she aint coming back!!! Focus on your future for yourself on your own!!!!! One step in front of the other and keep it moving!!!! You need advice talk to Gunny!!!
sandflea Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I know 19 days seems like a long time, but hang in there. It will get better, and one day you'll say to yourself "gee, I haven't thought about her in a week, or two, or a month" - Trust me, you'll be OK. Just take it a day at a time, and read No Foolin's post. It says it all. Spring is comin, hang in there! Keep posting, and remember, it's OK to feel down. Just try to stay busy. SF
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