I am a bank teller and desire this married man 20 years older...help!

[danavladeem]

Ummm we can all read just fine. What we reading is that you have a fantasy of this guy in your head and of what he is like based soley on his looks and his wealth. You ASSUME you can become friends with him and weasel your way into his life, thereby HOPING it will turn into more and he will leave his W for YOU. So I have read your intentions just FINE. You sound pretty shallow and materialistic to me. Do you think THAT is a quality this man will like about you? I doubt it. Maybe he hates greedy women. Maybe that's why he has not flirted with you. He can probably see right through you.

 

Ouch.....I have one question, why did you choose that picture with the come hither look? Are you trying to express some latent deep seated desire? You wouldn't seize a similar opportunity? Hmmmm....thought not.

[bentnotbroken]

Thanks. Generally, I don't follow these kinds of boards. I just stumble on to it by accident. I was in a bit of down mood due to work and life in general. This past Xmas was kinda lonely. I thought I just post my thoughts about this guy who's been in the back of my mind lately. I thought it would be a good way to get things off my chest so to speak. Therefore, I posted some pretty raw thoughts. But it has been quite an experience listening to all the viewpoints.

 

I know it is probably a bad analogy to compare a marriage to a business. But there are similarities such as both require nuturing, inordinate amount of sacrifice etc to make things happen with no guarantee of success.

 

I am making the best of a poor situation. I am looking at all options. I see why I shouldn't at least tried. It may not work. No harm in not trying. I am not going to paw all over the guy. I just want to earn his trust. If his marriage is solid then there is absolutely no problems. His wife is French. Lots of European women know that men in Europe have mistresses. It is very common there. If he is opening a modelling business there, he will attract far more attention from all of these young and beautiful women then he will get from me. I am not saying that I want to be his mistress. So please don't try to read that into this comment. His wife should know that other women will envy her. So, therefore, she will need to invest in her marriage with him. If not, there will be people like me who will step in.

 

On another note, most wealthy men are not very appealing. They are, quite frankly, *********s. This guy is not. This is another reason why I find him appealing.

 

Let's face it. We tend to judge others by their appearance. Look at all the images in the media. I am just stating things that are obvious.

 

I also know a few people have said how superficial I am. People here don't know me. You only can infer from my comments as to what you think I am like.

 

When you watch that Millionaire dating show, you will truly see how superficial these men (and women) really are. I am not like that. Sometimes words in print cannot convey the context and body language of a spoken word.

 

 

 

You are right no one on these boards know you. But people aren't just judged on looks, they are also judged on what they say(in this case write) You only right down what is in your mind and thought process. So yes your true self is showing in what you write. It's like a garbage can, not matter what name you call it, when you open the lid it stinks, you know it is a garbage can. We as human can only put out to the world what is inside us.

 

And the only thing that you are putting out is what someone else's husband can possible do for you(materiall),that he might make beautiful children with you, that she is European, traditionally she should be able to handle a mistress in her life, that this will be a good business proposal for you. It doesn't matter that he hasn't come on to you,he is just minding his own business. It doesn't matter that those beautiful children have a stable environment, it doesn't matter that you are thinking about intruding on relationship with two people who have been together for awhile.

 

You said that other relationships haven't worked out for you, could it be that they read your actions as not worthy of them?

[bentnotbroken]

Ouch.....I have one question, why did you choose that picture with the come hither look? Are you trying to express some latent deep seated desire? You wouldn't seize a similar opportunity? Hmmmm....thought not.

 

 

 

What opportunity do you see for you to seize? Man you need to get a grip.

[danavladeem]

 

You said that other relationships haven't worked out for you, could it be that they read your actions as not worthy of them?

 

Dunno. All the guys I have dated are, lack of a better word, losers. I have the kind of appearance that attracts all sorts of guys who want to get into my pants. They never look at my eyes. Always staring at my chest. I don't dress slutty. I buy my clothes from Talbots. It would be nice if these men were self-motivated, are goal setters and men of action instead of words. Whenever I ask a guy where do they see a relationship with me heading they disappear really quick. Commitment issues, I guess?

[bentnotbroken]

Dunno. All the guys I have dated are, lack of a better word, losers. I have the kind of appearance that attracts all sorts of guys who want to get into my pants. They never look at my eyes. Always staring at my chest. I don't dress slutty. I buy my clothes from Talbots. It would be nice if these men were self-motivated, are goal setters and men of action instead of words. Whenever I ask a guy where do they see a relationship with me heading they disappear really quick. Commitment issues, I guess?

 

 

I think their is a difference between self esteem and superiority. You even come across in your post as superior to his wife and she deserves to be displaced because whatever you have to offer is better than what she has done. I still think you're not for real, but I enjoy the mind thing.

[PLAYBRAT]

LOL. I posted this pic because I was in a silly mood. I don't need to post a pic to get a man.....nor would I want to. A man would like me just fine

because of WHO I am, not what I have or how "beautiful" I am. I have the self confidence that you are obviously lacking in that dept.

 

You truly need to lay off of the soap operas. It's obviously frying your brain.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I was in a bit of down mood due to work and life in general. This past Xmas was kinda lonely.

 

I can imagine, I mean, if you built this whole fantasy about the customer guy that you know so little about things must be pretty sucky.

 

Therefore, I posted some pretty raw thoughts. But it has been quite an experience listening to all the viewpoints.

 

Yeah, you'll get all sort of stuff.

 

I know it is probably a bad analogy to compare a marriage to a business. But there are similarities such as both require nuturing, inordinate amount of sacrifice etc to make things happen with no guarantee of success.

 

A marriage is a business partnership among other things. And since you have a business background, I can see why you are making all these analogies which actually all made sense to me.

 

I can see why you are saying that he has money and material things also. It's because that's the only thing you know about him.

 

I'm sure you'd like to know more but you can't at this point, now without being friends yet. I believe your feelings are genuine when you say that you are obsessed with him and think about him all the time, I don't think it is because he has money only, but because he has made an impression in you. Of course, the money part is very appealing.

 

I am making the best of a poor situation. I am looking at all options. I see why I shouldn't at least tried. It may not work. No harm in not trying.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean. You are looking for an opening. Say, his marriage is crap and he is filing for divorce or something. No way to know really, I'd say it's unlikely though, probably the wife had to deal with a bunch of women being interested at some point or another and is with him still.

 

I am not going to paw all over the guy. I just want to earn his trust. If his marriage is solid then there is absolutely no problems. His wife is French.

 

Btw, did you ever see this movie? You might like it: The Lover. Beautiful movie, one of few movies I've seen more than once.

 

Let's face it. We tend to judge others by their appearance. Look at all the images in the media. I am just stating things that are obvious.

 

That's true. At least in that Millionaire Matchmaker, seems like one of the requirements is that the girls look like models.

 

Well, good luck finding love.

[PLAYBRAT]

I think their is a difference between self esteem and superiority. You even come across in your post as superior to his wife and she deserves to be displaced because whatever you have to offer is better than what she has done. I still think you're not for real, but I enjoy the mind thing.

 

 

LOL. Maybe they disappear because you are staring at their WALLET or checking account balance when you ask where things are going??

[Cobra_X30]

Dunno. All the guys I have dated are, lack of a better word, losers. I have the kind of appearance that attracts all sorts of guys who want to get into my pants. They never look at my eyes. Always staring at my chest. I don't dress slutty. I buy my clothes from Talbots. It would be nice if these men were self-motivated, are goal setters and men of action instead of words. Whenever I ask a guy where do they see a relationship with me heading they disappear really quick. Commitment issues, I guess?

 

I'm glad your getting to the meat of the issue.

 

There is a difference between bieng superficial and acting superficial! Don't act it and people wont assume that you are.

 

Basically your meeting lots of loserly guys. Are you meeting them in clubs and bars?

 

Your always in danger the moment you forget that there is a good single man right around the corner. It's just guys our age are rarely rocking 8 figures... mostly 6. So, you need to ask yourself... can you live with that?

[bentnotbroken]

I am not blonde, tall, in my 20s or of European decent. I am 5'1'' 120 lbs(depending on the day of the week:)0), 43 and I wear a size 6. I lift weights and work out at least 5 days a week. I have great genes so I could easily pass for my 20's(I have been mistaken as my son's girl friend, he's 21), I get hit on by males from late teens to one foot in the grave; I said all of that to say, none of that defines me.

 

My love of my family, my faith, the children I teach, the blessings that I pass on, the help I give, those are things that define me. They are who I am. My actions tell people who I am without me ever saying a word. So all those things listed in the first paragraph were to be taken away today, people will still know who I am because of the things that really make me..me.

[johnnyj]

They are all the time like that.

 

You see a handsome man on the street and they say, how dare you put your eyes in a taken man.

 

Many of them have been cheated by their husbands and are afraid of women out there.

 

Anyway, if you want to get a chance with this guy you are going to have to become friends, but most likely he is happy in his marriage (even though people get divorced, if he has children and has been married for a while it is unlikely).

 

On the other hand, if he has so much money, why is he going to the bank so much? I mean, he could have people do it for him, or go to other branches, or do it online, or however else guys like that do business (I can't figure Donald Trump standing in line).

 

So, maybe he goes to see you.

 

Ariadne

 

Reading your post, it's like receiving advice from the lady on the left........

 

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/5907/fa.gif

[danavladeem]

Hey,

 

I was in a bit of down mood due to work and life in general. This past Xmas was kinda lonely.

 

I can imagine, I mean, if you built this whole fantasy about the customer guy that you know so little about things must be pretty sucky.

 

Therefore, I posted some pretty raw thoughts. But it has been quite an experience listening to all the viewpoints.

 

Yeah, you'll get all sort of stuff.

 

I know it is probably a bad analogy to compare a marriage to a business. But there are similarities such as both require nuturing, inordinate amount of sacrifice etc to make things happen with no guarantee of success.

 

A marriage is a business partnership among other things. And since you have a business background, I can see why you are making all these analogies which actually all made sense to me.

 

I can see why you are saying that he has money and material things also. It's because that's the only thing you know about him.

 

I'm sure you'd like to know more but you can't at this point, now without being friends yet. I believe your feelings are genuine when you say that you are obsessed with him and think about him all the time, I don't think it is because he has money only, but because he has made an impression in you. Of course, the money part is very appealing.

 

I am making the best of a poor situation. I am looking at all options. I see why I shouldn't at least tried. It may not work. No harm in not trying.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean. You are looking for an opening. Say, his marriage is crap and he is filing for divorce or something. No way to know really, I'd say it's unlikely though, probably the wife had to deal with a bunch of women being interested at some point or another and is with him still.

 

I am not going to paw all over the guy. I just want to earn his trust. If his marriage is solid then there is absolutely no problems. His wife is French.

 

Btw, did you ever see this movie? You might like it: The Lover. Beautiful movie, one of few movies I've seen more than once.

 

Let's face it. We tend to judge others by their appearance. Look at all the images in the media. I am just stating things that are obvious.

 

That's true. At least in that Millionaire Matchmaker, seems like one of the requirements is that the girls look like models.

 

Well, good luck finding love.

 

Hi A,

 

Wow....you pretty well bang on articulating my feelings. You are right, I don't know too much about the guy. You are right that I don't know much about the guy's personal habits, thoughts and soul is like. I can only go by what I know of him thru existing sources. Actually, it really wasn't about the money that caught my eye about him. It was his consistent gentleman behavior. His quiet classiness. To find out about the money was really a bonus since, as I mentioned in an earlier post, most men with wealth or are self made have big egos, are jerks etc....Plus the fact he is nice eye candy made it a plus. Most wealthy guys are really old, fat, ugly, in terrible physical shape....I am talking about self made guys. There are good looking rich guys but they are usually guys who are trust fund babies...inherited wealth or drug dealers. Never was interested in those type of men. Actually most men I have dated were working stiffs, recent university grads etc....So, no, I have never dated or gone out of my way to date a rich guy. This guy was the first guy I thought of doing something totally different. You are probably correct in that it is highly unlikely his marriage is crap, but gotta try and see. His wife is probably aware that other women probably envy her husband. I am just keeping things cool, low key, platonic. Sorry if I sound a bit blunt and factual in my writing tone at times....it is my business attitude from working around men alot. Also, my mom brought me up to be pragmatic.

 

Yes, I did see the movie the Lover. It's hot! The taxi ride scene was delicious!

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I will find my man one day! And if not, maybe I will join the other team. LOL....

[danavladeem]

LOL. I posted this pic because I was in a silly mood. I don't need to post a pic to get a man.....nor would I want to. A man would like me just fine

because of WHO I am, not what I have or how "beautiful" I am. I have the self confidence that you are obviously lacking in that dept.

 

You truly need to lay off of the soap operas. It's obviously frying your brain.

 

Hmmmm....so you never wore a pair of tight jeans or a form fitted top? Not. Honey, if you have the assets, you would flaunt it.

 

Actually, I don't watch soap operas.

 

As for my brain, it is fine. I don't do drugs or smoke or suntan to wreck my body like some people do. Last time I check, my brain was able to figure out how to fill out an application for a MBA school.

[bentnotbroken]

Reading your post, it's like receiving advice from the lady on the left........

 

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/5907/fa.gif

 

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: So true.

[bentnotbroken]

Hmmmm....so you never wore a pair of tight jeans or a form fitted top? Not. Honey, if you have the assets, you would flaunt it.

 

Actually, I don't watch soap operas.

 

As for my brain, it is fine. I don't do drugs or smoke or suntan to wreck my body like some people do. Last time I check, my brain was able to figure out how to fill out an application for a MBA school.

 

Wearing clothes because you look good in them and because YOU want to and nothing more, isn't the same as trying to trap a man. How silly and so high school.

[Owl]

This thread is HILARIOUS! No advice from me...you've created the best story I've read in a while!

[Tomcat33]

This thread is HILARIOUS! No advice from me...you've created the best story I've read in a while!

 

 

Actually the best one if I might interject was the one about "The OW is a dog " :lmao: That was the best story ever, in my books at least. She was conivnced her H was in love with the dog :lmao:

 

I still laugh out loud when I think of that one..."talk about a bitch that wrecked a home..." :laugh:

[Owl]

I missed that one...DARN!

[herenow]

Actually the best one if I might interject was the one about "The OW is a dog " :lmao: That was the best story ever, in my books at least. She was conivnced her H was in love with the dog :lmao:

 

I still laugh out loud when I think of that one..."talk about a bitch that wrecked a home..." :laugh:

 

TC, I'm sure that one was funny, wish I had read it.

 

My favorite was the one who was pregnant with some rich guys baby and the wife pushed her down an escalator. Then she came back and said she was writing a book and doing her research on LS. I think she was also the same one that said her MM was a billionaire and then people started to guess who he was based on the info, so she admitted it was all a game. Those were the days my friend...

[brothermartin]

I am not a gold digger. I am not a Paris Hilton type. My friends tell me I am a sweet, nice, intelligent girl. It's just there are no nice single guys out there who are self-motivated, intelligent and ambitious and have their head screwed on right. Most guys I dated, unfortunately as I found out as the dates progress, are into themselves, their beer and their immaturity.

 

This guy is intelligent, a gentleman, and a bonus...a looker! I wouldn't mind parking my shoes under his bed!

 

And most likely he wasn't born that way. The guys that you dated may be all beer and video games now, but who knows what they'll be in a few years.

 

And, again, HE'S MARRIED. And if you're not interested in his material prowess, why mention it in the first place?

[danavladeem]

This thread is HILARIOUS! No advice from me...you've created the best story I've read in a while!

 

Hi Owl,

 

Wish it was a story. But life is stranger than fiction at times. Anyhow, I got my dream Ferrari ride date this friday. I am soooo happy! I feel like a little princess......

 

I may even post a pic of the car with a message to the community of Love Shack in the pic!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Yep, next up... "we are having an affair!" and probably after that "I'm pregnant!" You can see this one coming from a mile away.

[herenow]

Hi Owl,

 

Wish it was a story. But life is stranger than fiction at times. Anyhow, I got my dream Ferrari ride date this friday. I am soooo happy! I feel like a little princess......

 

I may even post a pic of the car with a message to the community of Love Shack in the pic!

 

You post your Ferrari pics and I'll post mine. Let's see who can find the best clip art.

[carrotgirl]

Geez, I didn't know we Asians could have such attractions from girls.

 

I'm driving a BMW M6, owns a IT company and I'm still single. But I don't have any girls stalking on me

If you're the guy in the pic and you live remotely near my neighborhood, I'll stalk ya sweetie.

 

Carrot

[whichwayisup]

Hi Owl,

 

Wish it was a story. But life is stranger than fiction at times. Anyhow, I got my dream Ferrari ride date this friday. I am soooo happy! I feel like a little princess......

 

I may even post a pic of the car with a message to the community of Love Shack in the pic!

 

You might as well post a picture of him so we can see what the big deal about this guy is.

 

I can't believe he is taking you in his car for a ride.............Sorry, but he's a big fool and has NO idea he's about to played.