Poca Posted February 1, 2000 Share Posted February 1, 2000 Why do I feel nautious every time there is the slightest problem in my new relationship? I get stuck in this rut of insecurities -- fearing rejection I imagine every possible scenario of things that might go wrong. I've made myself sick waiting for 'the phone to ring' -- and when/if it does, I'll no doubt offer up some pathetic apology just to make things better. I want to tell him how crappy he made me feel, but maybe it's better that I keep my baggage to myself? No one wants to be with someone depressing. I read today that "No one can make us feel anything. We are totally responsible for our own thoughts and feelings." Too true. How do I learn to 'get over it' and stop letting my relationship rule my moods? Link to post Share on other sites
http:// Posted February 1, 2000 Share Posted February 1, 2000 Read through the one that are titled is she tired of me yet. Its me... I went through a relationship that I was into more than her. When something was wrong, or I felt something was wrong, I would freak out. Understand that I was dealing with someone who is self centered and not fully together like she thinks she is. But I made myself feel this way, but she didn't help start my head trip problems. Anyway, relax, no two people are 100% alike. We think this person feels or does something because we would do it that way. We all have insecurities. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Try to communicate. Not too heavy but always talk. Some people just don't get it. You seem to be a caring person. Thats nice. Believe that, its a gift. Relax and if this other person can not share the gift you want to give, well maybe its time to look on, or maybe not. I wanted so bad for this person to reach out like she use too. I know she cared about me but something changed or she was able to feel what I wanted. (and thats crappy) I broke up with her today and it hurts, but I got control of my feelings. While it is hard. I will find someone to share the gift with...and so will you. Relax TRUST ME ON THIS Why do I feel nautious every time there is the slightest problem in my new relationship? I get stuck in this rut of insecurities -- fearing rejection I imagine every possible scenario of things that might go wrong. I've made myself sick waiting for 'the phone to ring' -- and when/if it does, I'll no doubt offer up some pathetic apology just to make things better. I want to tell him how crappy he made me feel, but maybe it's better that I keep my baggage to myself? No one wants to be with someone depressing. I read today that "No one can make us feel anything. We are totally responsible for our own thoughts and feelings." Too true. How do I learn to 'get over it' and stop letting my relationship rule my moods? Link to post Share on other sites
Poca Posted February 3, 2000 Share Posted February 3, 2000 Thank you so much for your kind words. The awful feeling in my stomach was right -- he told me it was over, yesterday. 24 hours later and I can't eat, sleep or stop thinking about it. But this is me -- I grieve for an inordinate amount of time. I learned early on that 'what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger'. I should have super-hero strength by now! I know the routine and will get over this, time heals all wounds and bla bla bla. But what really kills me is my blind faith that he was the man of my dreams; I got caught up in my own fantasies. I now grieve not 'what was' but 'what could've been' -- and that's the tough part. I can't trust my own instincts -- how can I survive if I can't do that? I wish that I could approach my personal life with the same logic and reason I do in my professional life. I am a sound decision maker. Not when it comes to love though... Hope you are feeling better. You can't be both halves of a relationship. It's sometimes v. difficult to make people realize what's really important. Glad you can see that your emotional health is what's most important here. You sounds as if you are relieved -- still hurt, but free. Be glad you got out, you desserve better. Keep well. Read through the one that are titled is she tired of me yet. Its me... I went through a relationship that I was into more than her. When something was wrong, or I felt something was wrong, I would freak out. Understand that I was dealing with someone who is self centered and not fully together like she thinks she is. But I made myself feel this way, but she didn't help start my head trip problems. Anyway, relax, no two people are 100% alike. We think this person feels or does something because we would do it that way. We all have insecurities. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Try to communicate. Not too heavy but always talk. Some people just don't get it. You seem to be a caring person. Thats nice. Believe that, its a gift. Relax and if this other person can not share the gift you want to give, well maybe its time to look on, or maybe not. I wanted so bad for this person to reach out like she use too. I know she cared about me but something changed or she was able to feel what I wanted. (and thats crappy) I broke up with her today and it hurts, but I got control of my feelings. While it is hard. I will find someone to share the gift with...and so will you. Relax TRUST ME ON THIS Link to post Share on other sites
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