ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I would recommend doing that, only because to start over, I mean REALLY start from scratch and make it better than the last time, then I think that would be jumping the gun. You gotta let him know that you're serious. And by ending the night your separate ways you're showing you meant everything you said, and that it really matters to you. Him respecting your decision will show it matters equally to him as well. See what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author blon_dee Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 yes thats a good point.. so hard to go that far back though!! lol.. i will suss out the situation... and thankyou, i appreciate your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Best of luck darling, and DO have a good time while you're out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blon_dee Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 Hey guys.... Had a fun night out.. drank a little too much wine...Well... i cant say it all went brilliantly.. he said he misses me but is not sure what the future holds.. He then went on to say he wanted to still see me, but with no expectations., and take it back to the start for a while. I guess im happy enough with that for now.. Kind of.. He said he doesnt want to lose me and told me numerous times that he loves me. I am happy to see him on a more casual basis but i insisted if we were seeing each other, that we were seeing only each other and no one else and he promised me that. I guess i will just cruise along for a while and see how i feel... And he bought me the most beautiful Tiffany&Co necklace and bracelet for xmas! how good is that? lol.... Hmm....... Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Wow! Sweet! :-) And it sounds like things went pretty good, you two have a clear understanding, that you're exclusive but just going back a few steps. Good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author blon_dee Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Thanks... yeah it is good.. but ultimately, he just doesnt want to commit.. I can settle for that for now.. who knows how i will feel months from now.. but may as well enjoy it.. maybe i will just slowly wean myself off him.. im a bit confused about it right now..... And cant help but wonder if hes just keeping me on a string.. yknow?? Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Well I wouldn't say he's keeping you on a string, I think he just doesn't want anything too serious. And like you say that may work for now, but if down the road nothings changed, you may just naturally find it easier to move on with your life to seek out what you really want form someone. A true commitment. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author blon_dee Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Hey.. just thought i would update you with my final chapter of the story.. After a few discussions, it became very evident to me that he WAS just keeping me hanging.. I decided i really couldnt trust him after all the things he has done (including texting a friend of mine only a few weeks ago to try and hook up a secret meeting), so despite all my wanting him back... and getting him back, i woke up this morning and decided i deserved so much better than that. So, hard as it was, i ended it. For good this time. No going back, and you know what? I feel really good about it.. I felt the relationship had no future whatsoever... I really appreciate all your advice too ElvenPriestess... Thanks heaps :-) Im sure i will be still hanging around the site... Cheers xxx Link to post Share on other sites
pigeonsid Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Hi Blon_Dee, I just read you whole story and it's made me want to stop and think a bit more carefully about my own situation. When did you realize that he was really just keeping you hanging? I mean - did he say something specific, or could you just tell in his attitude? And would you say that it was good to get back with him again, even if it's led to you ending it? You sound much happier with this last post - certain that it's the right thing to do and that you won't have any regrets with it. I dont' know if love's like that - you try and try until you've exhausted every possibility and know it isn't going to make you happy, or if people can really just walk away and find closure without having to go through all the heartache. Some people on this site seem to have done that but I really don't know if I can. (But it sounds great - a much more efficient way of doing things!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author blon_dee Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 Hey there... yep like you said, i just tried and tried and knew it was now going anywhere.. He did say he didnt think he could commit, never wanted to get married.. not that that was super important to me, having already been divorced, but with the trust issues as well, i just knew it was going nowhere.. I think i knew it all along, i just felt solost without him, after being with him so much over the year we were together.. Then i thought i could make it work, but i was just compromising too much of myself.. And when we started trying again, although it was only the one night i saw him, he was making heaps of other plans including going on the holiday we had booked together.. i asked if i could still come and he said he wanted to think about it.. I knew then for sure that it was well and truly over.. It still hurts, dont get me wrong, and i am still missing him, but i know i did the right thing and getting strung along by him meant that maybe i wouldnt meet the RIGHT one somewhere down the track.. Best of luck to you... Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 don't do anything. he needs to be the one to initiate all contact at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
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