InmannRoshi Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 You might also want to watch a syndicated program called "Cheaters" if it's on a station in your area. That one's a hoot as well. They actually follow the person doing the cheating and the betrayed spouse confronts the other two in front of the cameras. I just love that one!!! Yes, Cheaters is the best show on television. So far, the newest host has been been knocked to the ground at least ten times, had a gun pulled on him and his crew, and in the 8/3/03 show, was stabbed in the abdomen by a participant on the show. Yes, the host of Cheaters was stabbed! Bleeding profusely, he was rushed away in an ambulance with the cameras following him every step of the way to make sure they didn't miss a second of the drama. No reality program - hell, no program at all - tops Cheaters for the giddy joy of watching the worst of America at their lowest points. Oh, and don't have sex with married men. Link to post Share on other sites
baby1302004 Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Hi. Loving someone is never wrong...... what makes it wrong is how we love the person. One friend of mine told me once that "if loving and getting involved with a married man/woman is a crime, I bet many would be in jail by now. What do you think? For those who are not in the same situation as you could say "ITS REALLY WRONG" but i know its not easy if you are in that situation. Why i know? Coz I am in a relationship now with a married man (well they just separted this year). I dont think anybody can judge you or anybody in this situtation. For I believe that we have the freedom to what path we choose to take in this lifetime. I know in the face of morality it is not right, but can you blame if two people fall in love? Can you tell your heart to stop beating? Would you sacrifice your happiness because of what other people would say and think? just give it time...... just make sure you are ready to take the consequences... K? Whatever it is... risk is part of it.. k? Ill tell u more about my situation next time.. take care! *baby* Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Loving someone is never wrong...... Untrue. If that 'someone' has a spouse, it is indeed wrong. Would you sacrifice your happiness because of what other people would say and think? No, you find your happiness somewhere else, because to cheat with someone's spouse is to steal happiness from someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
foxglove Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 No your not wrong. I am in the same situation. It happend, no one plans it. And something is wrong in his relashionship if he is seeking you. If your in love I can only hope things work out for you.. Link to post Share on other sites
ml Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 would you want somone screwing your husband? Link to post Share on other sites
unluckylady Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO Yes. Falling in love is never wrong. We have no control over our hearts, just our actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by celin28 Any ladies out there has this experiences? Please share with me.. The heart wants what it wants. Link to post Share on other sites
DAYANDNIGHT Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 yes the heart wants what it wants and u should have no reason to hide what u feel and if hes a mm then if he wants u as if u want him then go with it cus sometimes thats the best love.... and us ow do sometimes get them in the end..lol... Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO Yes. no. and anyone that says yes is wrong. it's not wrong to fall in love with anyone. but it is wrong to act on it. there is no way around it. that's the truth. but sometimes we do. it's wrong but we do. there are plenty of folks here that will judge you but you did ask them their opinion. those judgemental people may not cheat but i'm certain everyone on earth has done something at some time that was selfish and hurt other people. having said that, yes, it's wrong to act on it even if you've fallen in love. usually, everyone gets hurt (with the often exception of the cheating spouse). Link to post Share on other sites
DAYANDNIGHT Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 yes i think that it is wrong that we fall in love with mm/mw but that is something that is sooooo hard to take control over, sometimes u find urself having feeling for the person without wanting to but the heart wants what it wants but a lot of us say that we wish we would of met the mm or mw before they were married but sometimes if it were like that it would take the thrill away so i think that u should fall in love as many times as u can because its a wonderful thing even if hes not really yours... trust me i know...cus im still with him and he left his wife and things couldnt be better... Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by sophie I do believe it is wrong to "fall in love with a married man" HOWEVER..I think it more "wrong" not to stop yourself and try to figure out what is happening in your personal life that is motivating yourself to be drawn to that situation...Recent death of a relative, abandonment of somekind.....Most women find themselves in the dire situation of "being attracted or in love " with a married man as they are so afraid emotionally of true intimacy (usually..if there not psychotic) ..Just human beings and have not sought help for the same old trap that hundreds of thousands of people, men and women find themselves in everyday............Also, the fact that Celine came on here and at least "asked' shows that she is on the internet, seeking others for advice and has been motivated enough by her own "feelings" of guilt or some other feelings to question herself ..Hoepfully, we will not "attack" her because of our opwn situations and guide her to "self help" sites and the like so she can begin to understand this "dangerous" dynamic....8 years ago I was caught in the trap and after much "growing up" "counseling" and a tremndous amount of research...I cam to understand what was going on, how to protect myself from the self abuse and realize how as people we are all vulnerable and able to fall into bad situations...I would say this is exactly the same as an addiciton and almost should have a 12 step program...As far as homicide is concerned, I do believe that this is possible in these situations from time to time, because of the sheer intensity of the emotions on all sides..OF COURSE IT'S NOT RIGHT..But it happens and that just goes to show how ill all parties can become during this situation, including the innocent..therefore..It is compeletly wrong and will always be, as there is simply no good that comes from affairs that is true or loing lasting..and someone..if not all of the parties, will become damaged is some way and hurt in some degree or another..there is no other end..there is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS pain...if it is not stopped soon enough..Hoepfully before the process starts..If it does..getting out and or healing..is the only way to recovery..as well as forgiveness and the search for understanding..its the only road back to health I feel.. God Bless ... this is an intriguing answer and one that i think was true in my own situation. i didn't set out to fall in love with my attached man (had a gf but not married which is SLIGHTLY different - had he been married i think i would never have let it escalate to where it did emotionally). he was my best friend and then emotions got deeper and we both made allowances we shouldn't have. we were weak and selfish and stupid. but now i've gotta stop beating myself up over it and instead try to figure out the why so it doesn't ever happen again. it was and still is the most painful experience of my life and i've been through a lot in my life. i've been hurt a lot and have experienced abandonment as a child several times from several caretakers and throughout much of my young adulthood with falling in love with the wrong kind of men that hurt me over and over. the affair i had with the attached guy was the first affair i'd ever had with any guy that had a wife or gf but in a way, it was one of the healthiest relationships i've ever had (which doesn't bode well for me, i know). he was kind, warm, gentle, loving and ****ing attached. i think now that i'm in therapy, i've come to discover that that might have been one of the reasons i fell so hard for him. he was attached to someone else so i had little fear that he would want to be with me full-time and i think maybe that's what i wanted. i was too afraid to be with any guy full-time again because i'd been hurt so much before. it's all a vicious cycle and one i'm determined to change for myself. anyway, try to do the right thing now and don't give in to temptation. if you can be strong and do that, you'll probably be saving not only his wife and family a lot of heartache but yourself as well. Link to post Share on other sites
DAYANDNIGHT Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 i like what u say there lilflowerpot i mean when u say that it a great love but see u would of never know it unless u exp it and i think that us ow sometimes get the best of the mm because they turn to us and hope to get the love their missing at home.. my mm is the love of my life and i love him to death and i think that i would of never known love if it wernt for him so i can say that im glad i followed my heart and not all these rules about " staying away from mm" im happy and hope u all can b the same.peace Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by DAYANDNIGHT i like what u say there lilflowerpot i mean when u say that it a great love but see u would of never know it unless u exp it and i think that us ow sometimes get the best of the mm because they turn to us and hope to get the love their missing at home.. my mm is the love of my life and i love him to death and i think that i would of never known love if it wernt for him so i can say that im glad i followed my heart and not all these rules about " staying away from mm" im happy and hope u all can b the same.peace i don't know that i could ever say i got the best of him but i did get a lot of good from him. however, the bad stuff far outweighed anything good i ever got. not only that, it would crush his girlfriend if she discovered that he betrayed her even if he didn't set out to do so. if a guy is missing love at home then he should leave before looking for love anywhere else. with my guy, he succumbed to temptation of our deep emotional attachment but it never meant he didn't love her or that she wasn't giving him the love he needed. i'm glad you're happy, honey, but are you really? he is with someone else and you don't have all of him. does that really make you happy? don't you deserve to be with a man that you can have all? and what kind of man would be satisfied with this kind of relationship knowing he could crush the woman he married if she discovered his betrayal? Link to post Share on other sites
DAYANDNIGHT Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 well he did leave his wife and we are living together now so it showed me that he was true to himself for chosing to leave his wife because i never once asked him to leave her but he did that on his own and hes with me now and hes all mine Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by DAYANDNIGHT well he did leave his wife and we are living together now so it showed me that he was true to himself for chosing to leave his wife because i never once asked him to leave her but he did that on his own and hes with me now and hes all mine then i wish you luck and happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
luvroses Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Originally posted by Midnight Magic It is not wrong to fall in love with a married man, I have been there and done that, it was someone who I worked with in my office, and things got out of hand, thank good ness that nothing sexual happened, it was close but nothing ever happened, and I am very thank ful for that. Sure I was heartbroken and still am to a point, but I realized that this was wrong..Not only would I break up my family, but his as well, and he has a beatiful whom I admire very much, ok I am jealous and envious of her too, but he is lucky to have her. They have the kind of love that I would like to have. But please do not go there in the relationship. You are going to be the one who is broken hearted, and I know this as I am still experiencing it, and I ended it months ago, the hardest thing is that I have to see him and work with him everyday and each day the hurts get smaller and smaller. It does not go away, but one day it will. The happiest day was when he came to me and thank me for being the brave one and ending it. He said it was an adult thing to do, he said he realizes how hard it was for me to do because he knows that I loved him, man was he right. But in the end it was the best thing to do, I try to convince my heart of that, but I am a much better person because I did it. I wish you all the luck in the world. Life is too cruel enough without causing yourself anymore. You are in my thoughts. Midnight Magic Your story has given me a lot to think about. I have a BF who's now talking about getting married - we've been dating for about 8 years. Over the last few years, I have dreamt about this moment - him proposing, getting married, kids, etc. However, recently I've met this guy (who turns out to be a MM - I didn't know in the beginning).We just had an instant connection - I feel like I've known him all my life. MM and I have been spending a lot of time talking - about anything and everything. I can't stop thinking about him - he's first on my mind when I wake up and the last person I think about when I go to bed. I feel alive again - I haven't felt like this in a very long time. All the years I've been with my BF, I was never interested in anyone else or felt this attraction and wanting to spend every minute with another person and making them happy. Maybe I'm going through a phase - I'm really afraid of making a mistake especially with a lifetime committment. Sometimes, I've wondered if I stayed with my BF because I got comfortable. I know I should never go down this road with this MM. I've read through the different postings here and its good to know that I'm not alone. I hope I have the strength to stop and not get involved with the MM - before I get hurt and others get hurt. I think about that song that states "Its sad to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along". I regret not knowing him when he was single - but I have to face facts that he is married. Who knows, maybe we'll meet again years down the road or in another life, when we're both available... I need to reassess my situation with my BF - I'm afraid that I'm not sure if I want to say YES when he pops the question 'Will you marry me?".... What scares me is prior to meeting MM, I was 100% sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with my BF. I know I should cut off all contact with MM because it just gets me very confused - I just don't know if I'll have the strength. I don't always make logical decisions. It doesn't help that MM has all the qualities that I've dreamed about in the search for the ideal mate. Well - wish me luck! Link to post Share on other sites
karri Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 hi, i am inlove with a married man, i never meant for it to happen, it really took both of us by suprise. i was married at the time we met, we've been seeing each other for about 7months now. at first it just started out with talking on the phone. then it went from just talking to sex, then from that to falling in love with him, we know that what we did wasn't right just for the fact that we were both married at the time, but it felt right, for me i had fallen out of love with my husband, he had moved out of our bedroom, i asked him why and he never really give me an explanation, we had grown apart, we had became more like friends, are sex life was down to 2 times a month, i wasn't happy and he wasn't eaither, i didn't find that out till we decided to get a divorce. now that are divorce is over with, i'm stilling seeing the married man, he says he getting a divorce cause he loves me, i love him so much. but he still lives with his wife and kids and they haven't started the divorce process yet, she knows he wants one, and she says she'll give him one, but nothing has been done yet, i know he's telling me the truth about everything and that he loves me. but i don't know how much more i can stand being alone here at my house without him, he comes by a few times a week , and we talk all the time on the phone, we work togeather but we don't talk or speak at work, everyone knows about us, but nothing has really changed with the fact of us being togeather for good, i love him, and it would kill me to lose him, i fill for his wife, but i figure if she would of made him happy then he wouldn't of falling out of love with her. he has two kids who he adores, he tells me thats why he still there with her, till the divorce is in process. and i do belieave him, and i do belieave that things will change for the better, so what i'm trying to say is i would do it all over again, if that makes me a bad person then so what, you only get one life, so live it the way you want too. we both fill that its fate that has brought us togeather, that were meant to be, i've never felt like this before till him. he's my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, the man that i love. and what seems bad to one person isn't aways bad toanother, i don't fill like i've broke up a happy family, and don't get me wrong i'm not proud of the fact that he is married, but you can't help or control who you fall in love with, LOVE IS JUST LOVE. and he means the world to me. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 You are exactly right. After being in this type of relationship 3 times I had to ask myself why do I keep getting into these types of relationships. I still do not REALLY know why because I do think it is stupid. One reason I think is as a child I was dishonest and got away with it. It was my way of protecting myself and it worked. Another reason maybe is because my mom was not available to me always because she was sooo messed up. She was someone I loved very much and that is the kind of love we had. Off and on. I am not sure if this is it or not either. All I know is that I have had to ask myself this questions recently because I have been there too many times. The first one...young. The second one...hurt. And the third one...just did without much thought. It is like a drug addicition or something of a sort. I am still trying to figure this out so I am not sure why really. Originally posted by sophie I do believe it is wrong to "fall in love with a married man" HOWEVER..I think it more "wrong" not to stop yourself and try to figure out what is happening in your personal life that is motivating yourself to be drawn to that situation...Recent death of a relative, abandonment of somekind.....Most women find themselves in the dire situation of "being attracted or in love " with a married man as they are so afraid emotionally of true intimacy (usually..if there not psychotic) ..Just human beings and have not sought help for the same old trap that hundreds of thousands of people, men and women find themselves in everyday............Also, the fact that Celine came on here and at least "asked' shows that she is on the internet, seeking others for advice and has been motivated enough by her own "feelings" of guilt or some other feelings to question herself ..Hoepfully, we will not "attack" her because of our opwn situations and guide her to "self help" sites and the like so she can begin to understand this "dangerous" dynamic....8 years ago I was caught in the trap and after much "growing up" "counseling" and a tremndous amount of research...I cam to understand what was going on, how to protect myself from the self abuse and realize how as people we are all vulnerable and able to fall into bad situations...I would say this is exactly the same as an addiciton and almost should have a 12 step program...As far as homicide is concerned, I do believe that this is possible in these situations from time to time, because of the sheer intensity of the emotions on all sides..OF COURSE IT'S NOT RIGHT..But it happens and that just goes to show how ill all parties can become during this situation, including the innocent..therefore..It is compeletly wrong and will always be, as there is simply no good that comes from affairs that is true or loing lasting..and someone..if not all of the parties, will become damaged is some way and hurt in some degree or another..there is no other end..there is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS pain...if it is not stopped soon enough..Hoepfully before the process starts..If it does..getting out and or healing..is the only way to recovery..as well as forgiveness and the search for understanding..its the only road back to health I feel.. God Bless ... Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 The only thing I can say is that is very painful to find out the one you love has cheated on you... Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I'm sure it is. My husband did not cheat on me that I know of while we were married. I can only imagine that it is devasting. But I think you kinda know when something else is going on. A man may not sense it but a woman will begin to notice small things. That is just the way we normally are. Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 jv.... very painful.... I would not wish that pain on anyone........ On a happier note... my future hubby would never cheat on me in fear of what I would do to him ........(yes, I put the fear of God in him) Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Girl, you never ever ever ever know. I am sorry. You just have to pray to God.. Cheating is not the worst thing in the world. There are worst things a man can do to you. Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 jv... please do not be sorry... what did not kill me made me stronger.... xoxo Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 You are a fireball!!!!I like that. go girl! I see why he might be scared. Are you a professional wrestler or boxer. Just playing. Kick his a**!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 LOL just have yankee parents... (think of the movie Fargo) Gosh....golly...dont you know............ Link to post Share on other sites
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