Am I the only Proud OW on here?

[Gwyneth]

And there you have it. Fantasy and fiction, same thing, not real or the truth.

 

Ooops, I mean fantasy from non-fiction.

[RecordProducer]

RecordProducer --

 

Next time a man enters my life and heart, it will be only to love me and be loved.

 

Good for you! That is what I'm talking about. I'm so glad my words made sense to *somebody*! Sometimes I type just to convince myself of what I know to be true but can't always focus on. If that makes sense.

 

I'm pretty new to this forum concept and don't know how to find threads posted by someone. Where are your threads?

You can find my threads if you open my profile, but you need not answer the old ones. There is one thread that is currently going on, but you don't know me too well to respond to that and it's about a school application. Stay in the forum, don't disappear.

[RecordProducer]

I haven't had sex with him nor do I intend to. I respect my V, and he is well aware of that. It's more about touching, feeling, and cuddling. It's not about sex at all. In our minds, yes, but we separate fantasy from fiction.

How old are you, Gwyneth?

[Gwyneth]

How old are you, Gwyneth?

 

I am 26 years old; why?

[TogetherForever]

I seem to have missed alot over the weekend.

I don't see how one could claim to be a PROUD OW. Happy maybe, but proud?

TF

[RecordProducer]

I am 26 years old; why?

Because you said:

 

I haven't had sex with him nor do I intend to. I respect my V, and he is well aware of that.

You must be aware that he is desperately trying to get in your pants. Don't be disappointed when he gets disappointed cuz he didn't get any.

 

What do you mean you respect your "V"? What's V?

[Gwyneth]

Because you said:

 

You must be aware that he is desperately trying to get in your pants. Don't be disappointed when he gets disappointed cuz he didn't get any.

 

What do you mean you respect your "V"? What's V?

 

Not too many men aren't interested in having sex with most women...why would I be at all shocked that he does want to? Like I said, we want to, but we will not.

 

V=vagina, of course. Not virtue--obviously I am far from virtuous.

[RecordProducer]

V=vagina, of course.

You respect your vagina? What a weird way to express your attitude. Is this something typical American that I just learned?

 

Like I said, we want to, but we will not

You have this "we" thing as if it is a "we" thing. HE wants sex, YOU want emotions. When he realizes that he didn't get sex and never will, he will ditch you.

[Gwyneth]

I'm really not comfortable with discussing my sex life with any one, particularly a bunch of strangers. Whether he and I have sex is really no one's business. I said I will not and to me, No means NO.

 

Please don't ask me any questions about my sex life. Thank you.

[nadiaj2727]

RecordProducer --

 

You respect your vagina? What a weird way to express your attitude. Is this something typical American that I just learned?

Ha ha you just made me LOL at work. That is no American phrase I've ever heard and I'm American. I'm not quite sure what she means by saying she respects her V. Gwenyth, I think you should worry even less about your V and start respecting your H ("heart", of course).

 

And now I see what you meant, RecordProducer, about not dropping out of the forum. I will try to stick around at least until you post something. ;-p

[nadiaj2727]

Please don't ask me any questions about my sex life.

 

Sorry Gwenyth but you were the one who said you two aren't having sex. I won't ask any questions about your sex life but I will say that a married man does not look outside his M unless he's also expecting some sex with whatever other kind of comfort/ companionship he's getting. You won't have to worry about your A long if you don't have sex... it will end on its own terms quite quickly. In fact I wish I would have tried that approach, mine would have been over a lot sooner and I would have understood many things a lot more clearly. I'm not saying he ONLY wanted sex, but, whether he wanted to admit it or not (of course not, he saw himself as the perfectly "good guy" and would never admit anything negative about himself), it definitely involved a lot of sex and it wouldn't have been much of anything without it. I know that's just my (former) situation and I would like to hope yours is different but this is just one of those things women know from instinct and experience: a married man will not stick around with his affair partner without eventually having sex with her.

[TogetherForever]

You respect your vagina? What a weird way to express your attitude. Is this something typical American that I just learned?

You have this "we" thing as if it is a "we" thing. HE wants sex, YOU want emotions. When he realizes that he didn't get sex and never will, he will ditch you.

 

 

Respect your vagina:lmao:

I thought it was Respect your virginity?

TF

[whichwayisup]

At age 26, you're pissing away your life for some MM that you don't even want.

 

Anyway, it's your life, you know what you're doing - Just know that all this WILL come and bite you in the butt one day, though as you've said you're a strong woman and will survive it. I honestly just don't see the whole point in this 'friendship' to begin with, you're ALL over the map about him, your feelings, his feelings, hating his wife, wishing he was yours, then not wanting him...Geez, up and down like a toilet seat. Get used to this as this WILL be your life the longer you continue to stay with the MM.

[sillygirl32]

I guess I wouldn't (& didn't) want to settle for being second in my love's life...

[Gwyneth]

By saying I respect my V, I meant that I don't just sleep with anyone. It's not about sex for me; for me, it's about friendship. He and I discussed what's the point if there's no sex. Well, we have friendship--as I have said before, we both feel comfortable talking to each other about what's on our minds. We cuddle, comfort, etc. It's not about sex--and that's not to say it can't be. I cannot predict what I will do with him next week. If the urge is there, then so be it. Right now though, I am going to say I will not have sex with him. I also said I'd never have an affair with a married man, but here I am having an emotional one. I think we all, as humans, say we won't do something until the opportunity presents itself and we say, "Hey, why the Heck not?"

 

I'm not saying I'm Proud that I'm having an affair with a married man, but I am proud and happy that I met him. I wish things were differently, but I am not looking for a relationship more than I already have with him. Confused, yes--because I will not allow myself to want him more than I have him now. I'm coming out of a really bad relationship myself so to jump into something serious I just do not think is the right thing to do right now, which is also why I am refraining from having sex with the MM because I am not completely over my ex. I do not want to further depress myself by sleeping with another man, while missing the ex.

[JackJack]

Here it is, 7-8 pages later and you're saying;

 

"I'm not saying I'm Proud I'm having an affair with a married man, but I am proud and happy I met him."

 

According to the first page of your post, it didn't sound as if you were just happy and proud you met him.

 

Maybe you're changing your tune now that you have gotten these replies, or maybe what you orginally were trying to say came out wrong? At any rate, if that is what you were meaning, looks like it wouldn't have taken you this many pages later to say what you were really meaning to say.

[Gwyneth]

I explained several times past page ONE that "Proud" was misused.

 

I also am tired of defending my affair with the married man on a forum that's labled OW/OM. I"m tired of having to defend myself to BS (b as in Bitter). This is Our affair and this is how I feel. That was the point of this thread--to make myself clear that I am very well still in this affair and not ashamed of that at all; =Proud.

[RecordProducer]

a married man will not stick around with his affair partner without eventually having sex with her.

No man will. Woemn always want to fill in the emotional gap, whether they are married or not, whether they have sex or not. But in a man's mind and body, everything starts with sex. If it doesn't start with sex, it never started so it can't go onto something more. This guy is still hopeful that he'll get some. What a talented actor.

 

I think we all, as humans, say we won't do something until the opportunity presents itself and we say, "Hey, why the Heck not?"

The difference between a human and a wise human is to discern an opportunity to gain something from an opportunity to get hurt. If you see a volcano, you don't jump in with the idea "Why the heck not?" Do whatever makes you happy, but know WHY it makes you happy. And the correct answer is not "Why not?"

 

I'm coming out of a really bad relationship myself so to jump into something serious I just do not think is the right thing to do right now

I am sorry that you are still hurting over your ex, but honey you don't realize that this IS serious. You are getting emotionally deeply involved with a man who will break your heart, because he will not leave his wife.

 

On the other hand, if you're not so hot for him, then you have a pretty strong position. In that case, this whole emotional affair is nothing but friendship for you and hopes to get in your pants for him. If you don't have any deep feelings for him and we know you don't have sex with him, there is no affair and you're wasting our time.

[whichwayisup]

but honey you don't realize that this IS serious. You are getting emotionally deeply involved with a man who will break your heart, because he will not leave his wife.

Sadly, she's in denial about how deep she feels for this guy...I mean, honestly, I don't know anyone IRL who obsesses about someone they're really not interested in pursuing, that wishes his marriage would bust up, hopes that his wife doesn't get pregnant because then he'll stay married. The thing is, child or not, he IS staying married. That is something G has to accept and I really hope she wakes up and walks away from him because this soulmate fantasy friendship is very unhealthy and toxic.

[RecordProducer]

Sadly, she's in denial about how deep she feels for this guy...I mean, honestly, I don't know anyone IRL who obsesses about someone they're really not interested in pursuing, that wishes his marriage would bust up, hopes that his wife doesn't get pregnant because then he'll stay married. The thing is, child or not, he IS staying married. That is something G has to accept and I really hope she wakes up and walks away from him because this soulmate fantasy friendship is very unhealthy and toxic.

You are right: she wouldn't be posting about him if she had no deep feelings. It's like what I said once, why do people write songs about how they DON'T care about someone?

[Gwyneth]

LOLOL, you people are ridiculous. I'm not in denial about anything. I'm pretty straightforward about how I feel about this affair. I do not have to prove myself to any of you. My god! I have no expectations. Why is this thread even continuing on? Many of you have so much to say, yet it's going no where. I feel how I feel and no one can change my mind. Let's move on and concentrate on someone else. Thanks.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwyneth

I think we all, as humans, say we won't do something until the opportunity presents itself and we say, "Hey, why the Heck not?"

 

RecordProducer

 

The difference between a human and a wise human is to discern an opportunity to gain something from an opportunity to get hurt. If you see a volcano, you don't jump in with the idea "Why the heck not?" Do whatever makes you happy, but know WHY it makes you happy. And the correct answer is not "Why not?"

 

 

 

Are you insinuating that I'm not wise?

[RecordProducer]

LOLOL, you people are ridiculous.

OK, I see that we're all bugging you. I am sorry. We should really just accept that this is your life and we wish you happiness.

I'm not in denial about anything.

If you're in denial, you will certainly not accept that you're in denial.

 

I'm pretty straightforward about how I feel about this affair. I do not have to prove myself to any of you. My god! I have no expectations. Why is this thread even continuing on?

Well, don't forget that you're the one who started this controversial thread. When someone starts a thread that requires compassion and support, some people will still give you crap. But when you should out loud that you're a proud OW, some women find it offensive and some people (like me) think you deserve better than a married man.

 

Many of you have so much to say, yet it's going no where. I feel how I feel and no one can change my mind.

That's true.

Are you insinuating that I'm not wise?

No. Even the wisest people do unwise things. Me, for example.

[OWoman]

No man will. Woemn always want to fill in the emotional gap, whether they are married or not, whether they have sex or not. But in a man's mind and body, everything starts with sex. If it doesn't start with sex, it never started so it can't go onto something more.

 

Ulp! I guess that makes me a man then. Now, how do I explain that to MM?

[JackJack]

LOLOL, you people are ridiculous. I'm not in denial about anything. I'm pretty straightforward about how I feel about this affair. I do not have to prove myself to any of you. My god! I have no expectations. Why is this thread even continuing on? Many of you have so much to say, yet it's going no where. I feel how I feel and no one can change my mind. Let's move on and concentrate on someone else. Thanks.

 

 

Sorry you feel people's opinons are ridiculas. YOU are the one who posted about how your felt, so you will get people to share how they feel on the matter. You will get people who agree and see your point and you will get people who don't. I'm sure you're aware of that. If you do not want the thread to "continue on", then it might be best to stop replying everytime someone else does. Let others talk about it and when they see you're not responding , hopefully for you the thread will die out.

[tomwiz]

Its one thing to be in love but feel bad, but to be proud is dispectable...