SadHatter Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Hi guys, The link to my story can be found here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t132744 I've not been with my ex-gf now for about three/four weeks, we've had times of no contact, and times of talking. She's totally up and down, she broke up with me, but she'll happily tell me she fancies someone, has 3/4 guys chasing her etc. In turn, as a defence mechanism, this has made me play stupid games, like letting her know there's a girl who likes me and I'm going on a date with her (its true, but I make sure she knows it now, like she has to me!). Two days ago she asked me if we could go for a drink, the pub near to mine has been refurbished and she said she was intrigued to see what it looked like. She said we could talk about us too. It gave me hope that maybe we could sort things out. I played it cool and said "maybe". Yesterday we spoke and I told her I was going to the pub last night. She asked if that girl was going that likes me. I said yes. She said, "Ok cool...well good luck, I'll text you tonight!". So last night I'm at the pub...didn't get home till gone midnight...but she hadn't text me. I rang her about 12.15am and asked her if we were meeting the next day and if she wanted to get her stuff that was still at mine. She said she'd been out and was just getting in, she'd ring back in 1 minute. 10 minutes later she rings back..."Sorry...I've been out for a meal"..."Oh right, who with? Nice?"...."I can't tell you because you'll go mad..."..."Will I?...who was it?..."..."Phil"..."Phil as in my mate of 13 years Phil?"..."Yes...we only went to Nandos, he asked me on MSN and it was either sit in or go....is there a problem then?". At this point I hung up because I was so angry and was going to burst into tears! She then rang and rang and rang my room phone and I was on my mobile phone to my "mate" telling him exactly what I thought of him. He pleaded innocence and said it was only as mates and nothing happened or would happen. I'm not interested. He's gone. No longer a "mate". While I am on the phone to him, my mum answered my room phone as she just didn't stop ringing. My mum told her it was a horrible thing to do and she was really disappointed in her. Her reply was, "I'm allowed to have friends." My mum said....there are billions of guys out there, u DON'T go with one of his mates. She replied, "Fair enough" in what my mum sensed was a rather "cocky" tone. My mum then hung up. Needless to say I got no sleep last night at all. She rang me this morning and said sorry, but that she couldn't see what all of the fuss was about. Her parents didn't see a problem with it, so why were my parents and I causing such a drama about it? She couldn't even see what she'd done. She said "What else was I supposed to do? You were out at the pub with your new little girlfriend (which she knows categorically she isn't, this girl has a boyfriend, but does flirt with me)...Phil asked me to Nandos, said he'd pick me up, so I thought I might as well have a laugh...better than sitting in doing nothing." So I said, "Ahh....so that's what this is about is it...because I went to the pub with that girl" and she laughed and said, "If that's what you want to think, you can! But it has nothing to do with that, I don't even care!" She won't take any responsibility...I said, "How would you feel if I went out for a meal with one of your mates?? and she said..."I wouldn't care. I can't talk about this all day, I've said sorry, I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm not going to listen to you shout at me all day, I can't change what happened. If you must know, we spent most of the time talking about you! Anyway my mate is here, we're going out for lunch, so I will ring you later today or tonight and I'll come and see you tomorrow and we can sort this out. But I'm too scared to see your parents!" I replied, "Well I'm glad you can go out and have a great day, I'm not quite as happy and cheerful." And she said, "Well what am I supposed to do? Slight my wrists?! The whole world doesn't just stop because of this. I won't see him again now I see you're this bothered. I didn't think you would be. Anyway, I gotta go now seriously" And there you have it....everything that's happened since last night...advice please!
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 She said "What else was I supposed to do? You were out at the pub with your new little girlfriend (which she knows categorically she isn't, this girl has a boyfriend, but does flirt with me)... So it's not okay for her to go out with your mate but it's okay for you to go out with someone's girlfriend?
Author SadHatter Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 I didn't go out with her! Her dad runs the pub and sometimes she's in there and stays there so she can see her dad...nothing's happened, which my ex-gf knows and I've told her so many times she has a bf...can't believe you're trying to make me the guilty party! The girl drinks in my local, I don't arrange to go and meet her...
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Wow relax already! Did you state earlier that her father owns the pub cause if you did, I must have missed it! I'm not making you the guilty party, it's just that she's your ex. I think she is allowed to hang out with whoever she wants and vice versa. Even if you both ARE together, isn't she allowed to have her own friends? Don't you have your own friends? From both genders?
Spinderella Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I can understand why you are upset. Trouble is, once games start you dont ever know what to make of the other persons behaviour. Was it a reaction to your game? Was it because you had been winding her up about the other girl? It doesnt matter who started what, but as long as you continue playing games you will never know the truth of what she feels. Stop now, tell her how you feel, and then have no contact.
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