Author gkaplan000 Posted October 18, 2007 Author Share Posted October 18, 2007 the person is a mutual friend and i don't think he knows about the affair Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 the person is a mutual friend and i don't think he knows about the affair Well, then you cant trust him to tell you anything! Basically on this one... you cant put your foot down now. Its too late. BUT, you need to make it abundantly clear that if she does anything that your not ok with... Marriage Over! At this point... you have to be willing to walk away from her to keep her with you! The moment she thinks that she can cheat on you and you will just sit back forgive and take it... or that your too stupid to catch her. She will do it again! Why? Because she thinks the first one did good things for your marriage, she doesnt regret it! Does she ever lie to you about small things? Also, if you caught her doing this again... are you willing to divorce her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gkaplan000 Posted October 18, 2007 Author Share Posted October 18, 2007 She knows that if she cheats again we are done and the child goes with me...she doesn't lie about small things...to give u an example an ex boyfriend called her out of the blue today and as soon as she was done talking to him she called me and told me. she says she told me right away so i would not think she was hiding anything from her Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 Well, So here you are! You know your fears are valid, she proved that to you once already. So what do you plan to do about this 45 yo potential problem that she seems to be hanging around? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gkaplan000 Posted October 18, 2007 Author Share Posted October 18, 2007 not sure....as long as she gives me no reason to believe otherwise i guess i will let it play out...as of now she doesn't hide him from me and we all hang out together as often as we can..besides he seems to only like women over 30 that are ethnic..my wife is as white as u can get and she is 21. Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 I agree with you, bestadvisor. But can you tell me what the other exceptions are that you mention above? I've been having this discussion lately with a friend, and I'd like to hear what else you have to say about it.... Anyother common exception is when they are closely-blood related such as brother/sister and first cousins, but anything else, view it with suspicion. Tell me the story with as many essential facts as you can then I'll tell you whether it fits into this "rare other exceptions" or not. Just keep in mind that a man and a woman can always be regular friends, just not close/best friends. Some of the signs that they are "close" friends are when they hang out together alone, do activities together alone, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
TryingToHeal3 Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Of course a man and a woman can be friends BUT they cannot be even remotely attracted to each other in any way, shape, or form. No what if, or I'm married of course not, nothing. He is more than twice her age and probably enjoys the company. Like she said he's like a brother, or even an uncle to hang out with. I would even be more concerned if he was near her age, because a yound man should have no problem finding a lady friend. But he's in his mid 40's. Most people his age have a lot going on in their life, family wise and working. You almost have to befriend someone younger just to have a care-free hangout. You know what. Here's something that might help your anxiety. Go out with them one time. See them laugh, joke and just chill like you would with your friends. Assure yourself that your fears are silly. Talk to her about how you feel and overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
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