bish Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 Why should she let him get away with it? I know she agreed to sleep with him, but she paid her dues. LMFAO...I guess the FACT that she cheated on her husband with this "jerk" has no bearing on anything eh? Oh..she is sooo innocent huh. If he was to be fired because she has personal issues with him...she needs to be fired too. She wanted revenge on him in the form of ratting him out to be a jerk to his boss....well guess what, if he is a jerk, then so is she because she screwed around on her husband too. Another case of the pot and kettle. And about the kids who now have a jobless father... they are not her kids, they are HIS kids. Maybe next time he will keep his pants zipped. As a matter of fact, she did the kids a favor: if he was encouraged to continue to cheat, he might transmit AIDS to his kids' mother and the kids would stay orphans. This lady taught him a lesson. She sure did. Now what lesson does she need to be taught for cheating on her husband? I could never do what she did, but I support her "deed." Her action was short-term immoral, but I see the long-term moral of the story. I see the moral of the story too...."Cheat on your husband with a MM, then act like you are innocent and get revenge when things don't go your way" I'd still like to ask...what would be fitting "revenge" for lost for cheating on her husband? Maybe her boss wouldn't like an adulteress working for them.
bunset Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 Well does this surprise you? She sleeps with another woman's husband...is an accomplice to betraying someone that his children love.....doesn't care who she hurts...his wife..kids...whoever....and now she is going to take the high road and brag about getting him fired which now hurts his wife and kids even more?? Does the actions of someone like her really surprise you? Well, I certainly didn't expect to see this kind of response. It is traditional advice for one or the other of the AP's to leave their job to appropriately end the A and prevent further damage. It sounds to me as if lost was in a position to suggest a way to keep a proper NC. Under the circumstance, which one should leave? He was let go, without her 'assistance'. No one said anything about her 'power' to fire him, or the absolute last word on MM job. I think she's just happy that, so far, the proverbial "Karma Bus" has hit the MM harder than her.
bish Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 Well, I certainly didn't expect to see this kind of response. It is traditional advice for one or the other of the AP's to leave their job to appropriately end the A and prevent further damage. It sounds to me as if lost was in a position to suggest a way to keep a proper NC. Under the circumstance, which one should leave? He was let go, without her 'assistance'. No one said anything about her 'power' to fire him, or the absolute last word on MM job. I think she's just happy that, so far, the proverbial "Karma Bus" has hit the MM harder than her. and now maybe the "Karma Bus" will hit her for cheating on her husband with this "jerk".
Havn_a_life Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 I'm jumping in here, but whose fault is this but his own? Why should everyone look after a cheater to make sure his life remains intact after the fallout? What did he expect? No consequences for his actions? That attitude and lack of responsibility leads to further cheating down the road. Of course he will make it through this, but there will be lots of suffering on his part finding a new job and making ends meet and he pretty much deserves it and brought it on himself. Sorry if that offends anyone, but why should I or anyone care what happens to a selfish cheat? If anyone was not taking his kids into consideration, it was him. He chose to start an affair risking his wife and family. And that was OK with him. It matters not what is said here. I stand by my statement, and soi as not to continue to keep repeating my opinion and my thoughts on who's fault it is, which is 50% MM, 50% OW, I will discontinue this thread and move on. Everyone knows my thoughts, so good luck with yours.
RecordProducer Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 He was fired for another reason, nothing to do with me. He was not trying to get hired into the company again and had no idea it was even being looked into, ( read the other post) so he doesn't even know I caused him to not get hired. and now that I said it I feel bad for doing so because it will take him a long time to find a job doing what he was doing....But I really cann't have him working with me....just can't I don't understand something. He got fired in another department and after that, the management in your department was considering to hire him? It sounds like he was not laid of due to his own poor performance. So they didn't ask the people in his department about him, but they asked YOU. And they actually based their decision on what YOU said. And they never asked you to elaborate? They never checked the legitimacy of your claims? I find this story internally inconsistent. I think you have omitted to share some juicy details. You seem only concerned about whether HE would find out. If two people know, it's not a secret. You made statements that might haunt you in your own career. Don't be surprised if some day you find yourself in a job interview forced to explain why you got fired.
justice Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 LMFAO...I guess the FACT that she cheated on her husband with this "jerk" has no bearing on anything eh? Oh..she is sooo innocent huh. If he was to be fired because she has personal issues with him...she needs to be fired too. She wanted revenge on him in the form of ratting him out to be a jerk to his boss....well guess what, if he is a jerk, then so is she because she screwed around on her husband too. Another case of the pot and kettle. She sure did. Now what lesson does she need to be taught for cheating on her husband? I see the moral of the story too...."Cheat on your husband with a MM, then act like you are innocent and get revenge when things don't go your way" I'd still like to ask...what would be fitting "revenge" for lost for cheating on her husband? Maybe her boss wouldn't like an adulteress working for them. Best case scenario would be for her to get fired too, and this incident go on her permanent work record. Oh and for the poor wife to find out about her and let her know exactly what she thinks of her. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
bish Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Best case scenario would be for her to get fired too, and this incident go on her permanent work record. Oh and for the poor wife to find out about her and let her know exactly what she thinks of her. "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Just once I'd like to see a case of the BS suing under the "alienation of affection" laws and winning. Anyone got a case to post?
NoIDidn't Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I don't understand something. He got fired in another department and after that, the management in your department was considering to hire him? It sounds like he was not laid of due to his own poor performance. So they didn't ask the people in his department about him, but they asked YOU. And they actually based their decision on what YOU said. And they never asked you to elaborate? They never checked the legitimacy of your claims? I find this story internally inconsistent. I think you have omitted to share some juicy details. You seem only concerned about whether HE would find out. If two people know, it's not a secret. You made statements that might haunt you in your own career. Don't be surprised if some day you find yourself in a job interview forced to explain why you got fired. RP, I agree with this assessment. I too wonder what it was that got him fired if Lost had nothing to do with it. But the fact that a decision not to re-hire him was based on what she said alone? That's the interesting and strange part of this tale. Either way, I don't know why others are intent on blaming her for his W and kids because he lost his job. That's on him. Sure her presence in his thoughts and affections affected the family unit, but his getting fired was a result of his general stupidity. Again,I can't blame the credit card company if this idiot got over his head in debt. So why blame the OW if he really got himself fired over something not related to her? This is just speculation, but what I think is missing from this story is Lost finding out about the OOW on the job. So maybe he got fired because Lost reported him after she uncovered another A he was having, not for her A? But like I said, THIS IS JUST SPECULATION people.
Author lost4ever Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 if anyone cared to read my post instead of just getting the jabs in; you would all know that my MM and I were still together when he was fired (no hard feelings). I can't think of a way to explain why without really giving my identity away, but trust me it had nothing to do with me (in the least bit) It was something that he did wrong and they had trails of paper to confirm it. I don't / didn't report to MM, and my other post gave insight as to why I was asked for my opinion by VP (which was partly becuase I made a stink about the firing, again will not make sense because I can't tell you what it is). I do not hate my MM is a seek "revenge" kind of way, I posted that in an earlier thread, I do not want to be with him anymore, he did not dump me, I dumped him, I meant the revenge in a karma kind of way, I went out of my way to try and get him a job, after I thought about the situation it would put me in I back peddled- Maybe I should have posted the thread as Karma (I can't spell revenage anyways) again, I started to feel guilty for not following through with getting him the job (which would involved flat out lying on my part about his behavior with co-workers and customers) If my VP was "putting me to a test" It would be to see if I would stick up for him and say he doesn't have issues with attitude (been to HR 5 times in 8 years) even though the file says he does. Please stop trying to make me seem like more of a monster then I already feel. I came here to get advice from other people that understand my situation and to get a level headed response about my actions, if you thought it was wrong: that is fine, but saying I should die and you can not wait until something bad happens to me is a little over board...all the rest thanks for the advice.
lovernotafighter Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Just once I'd like to see a case of the BS suing under the "alienation of affection" laws and winning. Anyone got a case to post? try it and find out
MrsHellnoFire Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Yes, it is his fault, but it's also the OW's fault for knowingly getting involved w/ a MM. Why should just the MM be punished for his part of the A by getting terminated? Why not both of them? They were both active in the A, not just him. Whether he pursued the OW or not, they were both involved. They both could of said no to an A. Sounds to me like the ow was emotionally punished enough. I think the mm still got away easy when his family never found out.
MrsHellnoFire Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It's totally ridiculous that one woman had the power to put the thumb up or down about another person's fate. And this woman happens to be his ex-lover. It creeps me out. I am thinking, some day an employer will ask my co-worker - some guy whom I rejected - about my performance and he will say whatever he wants. And I might go up or down, depending on how big a jerk or an angel he is. Creepy! Granted I don't know all of the information and am just basing this on personal logic, but it's quite practical that he asked more employees than she on the character and abilities of this one man. I highly doubt she is soley responsible for his demise at the workplace. Sounds kind of irrational unless she is one of the most trusted, respected, and important assets of the company. Also, self-preservation is the most important basic instinct. I don't think there was malicious intent involved, only that of preserving her emotional stability. If he worked in her quarters, a possibility for affair #2 would start. He would be cheating on his family again and the OP would risk the possibility of becoming emotionally unstable. She did what was crucial for her own well-being and I can't fault her for that. And I'm fairly certain most here would do the same if they were in her shoes. That is assuming her opinion was basically a lie, but since there was some truth to it, I don't understand the problem. In the long run, this is better for both of them imo.
OWoman Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 if anyone cared to read my post instead of just getting the jabs in; you would all know that my MM and I were still together when he was fired (no hard feelings). I can't think of a way to explain why without really giving my identity away, but trust me it had nothing to do with me (in the least bit) It was something that he did wrong and they had trails of paper to confirm it. I don't / didn't report to MM, and my other post gave insight as to why I was asked for my opinion by VP (which was partly becuase I made a stink about the firing, again will not make sense because I can't tell you what it is). Lost, I think you're wasting your electrons here. If those posters wanted to know the story, they'd bother to read it instead of speculate wildly about it. Same thing happened on Gwyneth's thread, and countless others - it's far easier to latch onto something someone else said (even in passing, as on the thread where NID mentioned welfare and the whole thread was turned into a dole-bludger hate rant, with an abortion debate on the side...) As I understand the story - Lost's MM got fired. For something she can't disclose to protect anonymity. Sounds to me like it was a procedural thing - maybe using the wrong purchasing code or logging in under someone else's password or spending too much time at the coffee machine. Whatever. Lost was outraged as it was something "they all did", and challenged the decision. So far: no "revenge". No undue exertion of influence that I can see. No impropriety (beyond the irregularity that "they all did"). Unless, of course, challenging a decision is deemed insubordination? So she tries to get him rehired. In the process, is asked by the VP for an opinion and reconsiders, gives a qualified appraisal and the MM doesn't get rehired. So: if Lost was still starry-eyed about MM, and gave a rave review to the VP, and MM got rehired, would that have been better or worse? She'd have ignored or downplayed reservations about his people skills - which are on file, documented, a matter of company record - which may down the track have led the VP to question her judgment (or the basis for it, if news of the A leaked out). Professionally, was that a bad thing to do? On the social side - she'd terminated the A. If she then arranged for MM to be working with her, his W in another town, especially if he knew he had the job as a result of her intervention - would this have been a wise move? For Lost, trying to walk away from the A? For the MM, now with his OW in his face, his W at a distance and his having a job placing him under obligation to the OW? I can imagine the MM posting on the infidelity board: "I lost my job. My xOW has now arranged another job for me in her department - which will mean leaving my W behind and working closely with my xOW every day. Should I take it?" I don't imagine too many people would be saying, yes, yes, go for it! Lost - I don't honestly see the issue here with what you DID... beyond heading your thread "revenage" because that was clearly what sparked off all the hate-posts wanting you to get hit by karma buses, or to lose your job, or whatever else. (Funny, though, that they picture the karma bus stopping at you. Do they not think that "what goes around, comes around", and all the hatred they're spewing at you is not going to come back to bit them, too?) Perhaps you did get a brief kick of schadenfreude out of it - don't we all, when the idiot who cuts us off in the traffic gets caught behind a garbage truck while we sail past? But sometimes, by too much focus on the detail, the bigger picture is lost.
Darth Vader Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Just once I'd like to see a case of the BS suing under the "alienation of affection" laws and winning. Anyone got a case to post? No Problem! There was one in here, about a man who prevented his wife from getting hurt, he got hurt, was in a coma for a number of months, his wife had an affair, got preggers, he woke up, found a sex tape of them having sex in their own bed, sued OM in an AOA suit, WON! But, I can't remember what the Thread name was, but, he could sell the movie rights!
OWoman Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 No Problem! There was one in here, about a man who prevented his wife from getting hurt, he got hurt, was in a coma for a number of months, his wife had an affair, got preggers, he woke up, found a sex tape of them having sex in their own bed, sued OM in an AOA suit, WON! But, I can't remember what the Thread name was, but, he could sell the movie rights! Isn't this off topic? I'm sure if the mickey mouse guy seriously wanted an answer he could start his own thread instead of jacking someone else's, dealing with something else entirely. I think his comment was just a wind-up, trying to score cheap points. Respect, people.
OpenBook Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 (Funny, though, that they picture the karma bus stopping at you. Do they not think that "what goes around, comes around", and all the hatred they're spewing at you is not going to come back to bit them, too?) Actually, I think the karma bus has ALREADY hit them, bigtime. And that's why they come in here and spew the hatred at us. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
Darth Vader Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 if anyone cared to read my post instead of just getting the jabs in; you would all know that my MM and I were still together when he was fired (no hard feelings). I can't think of a way to explain why without really giving my identity away, but trust me it had nothing to do with me (in the least bit) It was something that he did wrong and they had trails of paper to confirm it. I don't / didn't report to MM, and my other post gave insight as to why I was asked for my opinion by VP (which was partly becuase I made a stink about the firing, again will not make sense because I can't tell you what it is). I do not hate my MM is a seek "revenge" kind of way, I posted that in an earlier thread, I do not want to be with him anymore, he did not dump me, I dumped him, I meant the revenge in a karma kind of way, I went out of my way to try and get him a job, after I thought about the situation it would put me in I back peddled- Maybe I should have posted the thread as Karma (I can't spell revenage anyways) again, I started to feel guilty for not following through with getting him the job (which would involved flat out lying on my part about his behavior with co-workers and customers) If my VP was "putting me to a test" It would be to see if I would stick up for him and say he doesn't have issues with attitude (been to HR 5 times in 8 years) even though the file says he does. Please stop trying to make me seem like more of a monster then I already feel. I came here to get advice from other people that understand my situation and to get a level headed response about my actions, if you thought it was wrong: that is fine, but saying I should die and you can not wait until something bad happens to me is a little over board...all the rest thanks for the advice. So you and MM were still seeing each other when he got fired? After you told us that you weren't seeing him before he got fired? My BULL**** Detectors going off like crazy NOW! Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive!
Darth Vader Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Isn't this off topic? I'm sure if the mickey mouse guy seriously wanted an answer he could start his own thread instead of jacking someone else's, dealing with something else entirely. I think his comment was just a wind-up, trying to score cheap points. Respect, people. Ah, this whole thread is off topic! Anyway, it's not Mickey Mouse, It's Mighty Mouse!
Darth Vader Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Actually, I think the karma bus has ALREADY hit them, bigtime. And that's why they come in here and spew the hatred at us. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Whatever works!
Havn_a_life Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Actually, I think the karma bus has ALREADY hit them, bigtime. And that's why they come in here and spew the hatred at us. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Who's them and they in this statement?
bish Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 try it and find out On my end whats the point...he aint got nothing for me to take.
bish Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 No Problem! There was one in here, about a man who prevented his wife from getting hurt, he got hurt, was in a coma for a number of months, his wife had an affair, got preggers, he woke up, found a sex tape of them having sex in their own bed, sued OM in an AOA suit, WON! But, I can't remember what the Thread name was, but, he could sell the movie rights! SWEET...and there is a fine how-do-you-do...man saves his wife from going to the hospital, then cheats on him when he is in a coma. Thats love and gratitude for you. He should have been able to sue his wife as well. I think in a case like that, the wife should have lost all rights to marital assets and lost custody if kids were involved.
Darth Vader Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 SWEET...and there is a fine how-do-you-do...man saves his wife from going to the hospital, then cheats on him when he is in a coma. Thats love and gratitude for you. He should have been able to sue his wife as well. I think in a case like that, the wife should have lost all rights to marital assets and lost custody if kids were involved. They had no children, and this was in a foreign country. He was well off too, but, even if he wasn't, he is NOW!
NoIDidn't Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 SWEET...and there is a fine how-do-you-do...man saves his wife from going to the hospital, then cheats on him when he is in a coma. Thats love and gratitude for you. He should have been able to sue his wife as well. I think in a case like that, the wife should have lost all rights to marital assets and lost custody if kids were involved. This is how rumors get started. None of this is how it went down. The man was in a coma for nearly 18 months and even the doctors didn't think that he would ever recover. Miracle of miracles he did. But she had started seeing another man, with the knowledge and probably acceptance of his family, and had just found out she was pregnant a little before he awoke. She did love him and was willing to consider aborting her baby and her relationship for him, but HE didn't want her back feeling that she should have waited for him no matter the odds. This situation was complicated, it was not a run of the mill A. Amazing how its been twisted like this.
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