heatherd1201 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Phateless---have you talked to her?? I wanna know whats going on!
Author Phateless Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 No, I think I'm just gonna let it lie. I don't think she's interested.
heatherd1201 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 awww.... what gives you the impression that shes not interested?
Author Phateless Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Mainly where she draws the line in terms of hugs and if we're both sitting on a couch, how she reacts if our feet accidentally touch, stuff like that. Plus I was talking to her best friend on IM the other night and she said "it sucks you guys can't get together" and a littler later on "i don't think either one of you is interested in the other." so i'm just gonna let it lie. Although I was the one who opened that line of conversation earlier by saying something like "that's why she doesn't like me, I'm too nice" because we were talking about how she goes for *******s. I did finish off with "hey, for the record, i'm not into her like that. if she thought i was she would probably get all weird." I dunno... I'd rather just suck it up and keep looking than make the friendship weird. I think I've seen enough to where I'd only look stupid to confess my feelings.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 can understand how you feel. You do seem like a really nice guy and I have no clue who you are! But my future Husband is one of those "nice guys", and I was the girl who also seemed to gravitate towards the jerks and finally got tired of it. Im sure you'll find the girl who looks at you like you are her prince charming! ( I love disney....and love stories..!)
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 can understand how you feel. You do seem like a really nice guy and I have no clue who you are! But my future Husband is one of those "nice guys", and I was the girl who also seemed to gravitate towards the jerks and finally got tired of it. Im sure you'll find the girl who looks at you like you are her prince charming! ( I love disney....and love stories..!) Me too! I have always loved and believed in the fairy tale, and I'm still less optimistic about it now, but I still hope it comes true. Funny, what happened the other night (Tuesday) after that conversation with her friend, I went over to hang out with her to watch house. In the middle of the show she decided she wants steak and asked me to go get her some and bring it back, and she'd pay. I said no. I told her I came over to hang out with her and i'm not gonna run an errand for her while she watches tv. i said we could go get steak together after the shows were over if she wanted. this is where things got weird. i also threw in that the eternally doomed nice guy who has no hope would do that for her, hoping it would win her over. I was making a reference to another guy who wants to date her but she's not interested in. I was joking with her that she was testing her power over me and she got mad, saying that i must think she's a manipulative bitch, and she's not. it got kinda quiet and i said after a bit that i'm gonna take off to go down town with my buddy and she said fine. i asked her if she'd be mad and she said "we're not in a relationship" to which i replied "i know." i did also mention that i am still insecure about people taking advantage of me and asking me to do excess favors for them etc, and if she had been sick or something i would have done it. haven't talked to her since. it's friday now. that was a ridiculous thing for her to ask me, and i'm offended that she did. i should have told her that, but i didn't. at least i had the balls to say no flat-out, but i shouldn't have brought all that other stuff into it. It's friday now, i'm gonna call her and ask her if she wants to do lunch. thanks for reading guys.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 when you told her you were going out and asked her if she minded and she responded with "were not in a relationship" how did she say that? what was her tone? Its good that you said no and gave her the option of going with you to get steak (who would want to miss House to go to the store????). I wonder why she thinks its ok for you to be her "do-boy"... I think that she knows that you have feelings for her and she might be taking advantage of that. Asking you all sweetly to do things for her because girls seem to think that if someone has feelings for them they will do those things...but it has to be 2 sided you know..... Just my opinion..
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 when you told her you were going out and asked her if she minded and she responded with "were not in a relationship" how did she say that? what was her tone? Its good that you said no and gave her the option of going with you to get steak (who would want to miss House to go to the store????). I wonder why she thinks its ok for you to be her "do-boy"... I think that she knows that you have feelings for her and she might be taking advantage of that. Asking you all sweetly to do things for her because girls seem to think that if someone has feelings for them they will do those things...but it has to be 2 sided you know..... Just my opinion.. Right. That's exactly what I told her. And she said that she does things for me too and I pointed out that I also do things for her, and it's one thing if I volunteer to do something like that, but another if she asks for it. I completely agree, I wonder why she thought it was ok. My roommate said she must have got mad because I called her on it. Her tone when she said that was... harsh, is the best word I can think of. On second thought, screw that, I'll wait until she calls me.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 you said "on second thought" you'll ait till she calls you, but i didnt see a first thought.....maybe I just read wrong. By her sounding harsh about you going out, etc...I think she's jealous. Just my opinion. BUt if she really was just your friend and not interested in anything more than she would have sounded cheery of sorts about it, like "why would I mind? have fun!" her saying "were not in a relationship".....why would she mention that youre not in one. Does she think that you dont know that?? I think that that may be a hint...
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 This girl is freaking confusing! One minute she's making sure to draw the line so that I KNOW we're just friends, and then she gets pissed off when I act accordingly. Heather, I've been thinking what you're thinking for quite a while but I just have no clue. I think one of these days I'm just gonna have to plant one on her and see what happens. If she slaps me, then I finally know. Sometimes I just want to say to her outright "I love you. We can't be friends anymore." She and I have had quite an interesting story of being friends. We've only been hanging out less than a year, but it feels like we've known each other for years and years. At first we were thinking about dating each other, now we're friends, then she got soooo pissed when i hooked up with one of her friends, and eventually got over it... <shakes head> i'm soo lost...
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I wonder why she would get mad at you for hooking up with her friend...... She is into you. I can just feel it and I dont even know her. Just the reactions that you tell me she gives you- Its classic. I would love to be there to see what happened if you just planted one on her!!!! I dont know that I would go about it saying "I love you, we cant be friends". That might put her in shock and make her feel "put on the spot".....
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 I wonder why she would get mad at you for hooking up with her friend...... She is into you. I can just feel it and I dont even know her. Just the reactions that you tell me she gives you- Its classic. I would love to be there to see what happened if you just planted one on her!!!! I dont know that I would go about it saying "I love you, we cant be friends". That might put her in shock and make her feel "put on the spot"..... yeah... i dunno how to act.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I feel for you! Its hard to make the first move when you dont know what is going to happen next. Its different when youre out on a date and you plant a kiss- then its understood. I just think you should go for it. Carpe Diem!
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 I feel for you! Its hard to make the first move when you dont know what is going to happen next. Its different when youre out on a date and you plant a kiss- then its understood. I just think you should go for it. Carpe Diem! Maybe I will... I'm clear in what I'm thinking and what I want. I don't know if she is. I know I want her but I'm making no effort to try to get her.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 then maybe thats the problem. What if shes waiting for YOU to make the move? You shouldnt deny yourself the chance to have what you want. At least if it turns bad you wont have to wonder "what if "...
Author Phateless Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 then maybe thats the problem. What if shes waiting for YOU to make the move? You shouldnt deny yourself the chance to have what you want. At least if it turns bad you wont have to wonder "what if "... I agree. I'll keep you guys updated.
Trialbyfire Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 This reminds me of the thread by Sand&Water, where she wants to keep the friendship but doesn't want to date him. The only problem is that she knows the guy is "into" her, so he gives her attention. In essence, is there a friendship to preserve? If you think about it, you continue to give her attention, which she's starting to take advantage of, while preserving the attention, including the ego-stroking of flirtation. If you want her, go get her. What have you got to lose? You want to maintain the friendship because you have romantic interest in her. If she backs off with no explanation, you know it's all about the ego-stroking so in reality, the two of you don't have a "real" friendship to preserve.
sderenzi Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 This reminds me of the thread by Sand&Water, where she wants to keep the friendship but doesn't want to date him. The only problem is that she knows the guy is "into" her, so he gives her attention. In essence, is there a friendship to preserve? If you think about it, you continue to give her attention, which she's starting to take advantage of, while preserving the attention, including the ego-stroking of flirtation. If you want her, go get her. What have you got to lose? You want to maintain the friendship because you have romantic interest in her. If she backs off with no explanation, you know it's all about the ego-stroking so in reality, the two of you don't have a "real" friendship to preserve. Yes you are right but he will not get her, she's playing him for a fool and winning. Sadly all women do this..
Trialbyfire Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Yes you are right but he will not get her, she's playing him for a fool and winning. Sadly all women do this.. Possibly. If he handles it right, he can get her to change her perception of him. As far as gender-specific issues, no. Men also do this. It's about feeding the ego.
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Yes you are right but he will not get her, she's playing him for a fool and winning. Sadly all women do this.. All women do what exactly?
sderenzi Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 All women do what exactly? Pretend to be friendly while exuding an aura of sexuality that draws their friend nearer. They use their femanine whiles to keep a man even though he wanted more than friendship, and should he try leaving they become angry and do anything to prevent them leaving. You also sound angry in this comment btw :S
heatherd1201 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I am because you generalized! NOt all women do that. Not all women feel the need to pretend to get what they want. And some of us have an aura of sexuality just because were happy....... Phateless- I still think you should go for it!
sderenzi Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Tell that to these guys http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/ http://bobstruth.blogspot.com/ http://desperateguy.blogspot.com/ http://siberianow.wordpress.com/ http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/ http://wackoworldchronicles.blogspot.com/ http://themensview.blogspot.com/ I'm sure they'd agree women are not all alike, oops nevermind
Trialbyfire Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Tell that to these guys http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/ http://bobstruth.blogspot.com/ http://desperateguy.blogspot.com/ http://siberianow.wordpress.com/ http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/ http://wackoworldchronicles.blogspot.com/ http://themensview.blogspot.com/ I'm sure they'd agree women are not all alike, oops nevermind Realistically speaking, men and women both play and if you're stupid enough to allow it, that's really your own fault for your own victim mentality. Phateless has put his foot down on this aspect so it's no use beating a dead horse about it. He's trying to decide what he should do about either proceeding forward or walking away. I agree with heather. Life's too short to not take a chance. You have nothing to lose. If you handle it right, you won't even have to lose any pride over it, as long as you don't allow yourself to be a doormat.
Author Phateless Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 This reminds me of the thread by Sand&Water, where she wants to keep the friendship but doesn't want to date him. The only problem is that she knows the guy is "into" her, so he gives her attention. In essence, is there a friendship to preserve? If you think about it, you continue to give her attention, which she's starting to take advantage of, while preserving the attention, including the ego-stroking of flirtation. If you want her, go get her. What have you got to lose? You want to maintain the friendship because you have romantic interest in her. If she backs off with no explanation, you know it's all about the ego-stroking so in reality, the two of you don't have a "real" friendship to preserve. You're right TBF... but the reason I haven't made a move yet is that I'm not sure I'm ready to quit having fun and be serious, although I think this girl is worth it. For example, I went out last night and tonight, got a phone number each time. Both of these girls seem like nice, quality women who would be relationship material. I'm gonna go on dates with each of them and see what happens.
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