Should I call or write?

[Sandy]

I went out two weeks ago with a guy I met on the Internet. I had a great time! I wrote him the next day and thanked him for a nice evening (he insisted on paying for everything). He wrote back two days later saying that he too had a wonderful time and agreed that it was very rare that we had so many things in common.

 

In his email he wrote that he would call soon. And two days later he did. At that time he said he would get back to me again, and again, he did. That was a week ago Monday. He ended that conversation by saying he would get back to me later that day or in a day or two, but I still haven't heard from him. He never mentioned getting together again.

 

Other than the initial phone call, he has always called me. I'm not against calling him, and certainly could do that. But should I? Or should I email him? What would guys prefer? If he's no longer interested, I don't want to call and make him, or myself, feel awkward. But I don't want to spend more time thinking about this. I'd really like to move on if he's not as interested in me as I am in him. So...call or write? And what do I say to sound casual?

[niko1999]

I would start it as an email, just be casual about it. ask him what is up, and you were justi wondering how he was doing since you hadnt talked to him for a couple of days. things could have just come up and he could have just been busy. but that is what i suggest, email him, just to say hi, and tell him you miss hearing from him and would like to hear from him again. if he doesnt write you back, or even call you, i wuould let it go. good luck

[yes]

i wouldn't call or write. i'd probably wait another week to say forget it, but i wouldn't try to contact him since he said he would contact YOU.

 

-yes

[Sandy]

Thanks!

 

That's the same thought process I had. I don't want to seem like I'm 'hiding' behind an email, as opposed to calling, but that's really what makes me feel most comfortable at this stage.

 

I don't want to sound overly anxious, but I do want him to know that I'm interested. I'd rather learn that he's not interested in me, than to go on wondering and having regrets. I'll let him know that I hope to hear back from him.

[clia]

I agree with yes.

 

He said he would contact you and he didn't.

 

If you want to e-mail him, go for it, but be prepared for a short response, or even worse, no response at all. You just never know. I feel that if he really wanted to go out with you again, he would have called you by now to set something up.

 

You sound like you were receptive to him and his calls. At this point, it's only going to be an ego boost for him if you send him an e-mail, because that puts you in the position of chasing him. He knows your number. He knows your e-mail address. If he really wanted to contact you, he could do so. If he had been too busy to see you, he could've sent you a quick e-mail explaining things.

 

He has done none of these things.

 

I don't know how much Internet dating you've done, but this is very common. People have a vast selection of people to choose from, and it's entirely possible that in the past week he has met someone else he likes better than you. It's not your fault, and nothing against you--it's just one of the pitfalls of dating on the Internet.

 

IMO, just move on and forget about this one.

[Tony T]

He already knows you're interested. You seem to be hell bent on calling him...you're ignoring all advice to the contrary....but doing so is a big mistake.

 

If this guy's interested, he will call. If he's interested and you call, he will be less interested. If he's not interested and neither of you call, things will happen as they are supposed to...you will both move on.

 

Don't get all caught up in some situation that's not happening. He may very well be interested...but he also may very well have a whole lot more happening in his life right now.