carrotgirl Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Nah, we already chatted by phone. Maybe I'll try being aloof tomorrow. We went over my paper which really is a very big, very cool deal that's worth nothing more than bragging rights. And we chatted about the rest of the day, school, work, dogs and allergies and raspberries and other random stuff. I told him he's going to help me paint my place and he seemed to like that. So what if he broke up with me for no reason? What does that really mean? Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I dont think its about not loving the other person enough. You love them or you dont. Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. I think minus all the negatives (abuse, jealousy, possessiveness, cheating, etc) they end because a lot of people just don't know what its like to have a good, solid relationship and recognize it for what it is. When it gets a little tough they make snap decisions. Only then does time apart from each other test to see if it could really work out. I agree with most of that. I left my last relationship because we had serious communication issues and I think it is only now that my ex is facing up to this, he dismissed my points before. The break-up wasn't for 'no reason' but not everybody would decide to call it quits just because of communication issues but I know it is essential for stable long term relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
sao2 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 It sucks, the ex and I ended for a reason. We became long distance and she was unable to say that this has a future. Without a future I don't believe in long distance. We still have strong feelings for each other we just weren't on the same page as to what a relationship (particularly a long distance relationship) should be. Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I got some enlightenment on the "breaking it off for no reason" situation. I hope I don't botch this retelling too badly; a good friend and former colleague (and renowned psychotherapist) had this to say. He seems to genuinely cares about you and he's happy being with you but it sounds like he is so happy with you he feels terribly guilty for enjoying himself. He's probably afraid to make a commitment because this might be all there is and if he isn't in love with you he still wants to feel like he's in love with someone. Also since he really cares about you he's afraid of what will happen if he does fall in love with someone else someday. Wouldn't you prefer him to be straight with you now instead of years from now? How would you feel if he stayed with you for years and then left? Unfortunately happiness [interesting to me that he said happiness and not love] is one of those things that's hard to put your finger on even when you feel it. Since he says he happy but he feels guilty there's something holding him back that's likely an issue having nothing to do with you. He might not even know why he feels like this. He needs to look inward and figure out what is keeping him from accepting that the happiness he experiences could very well be the love he wants to experience. But really, he probably thinks he's doing the right thing for you by ending it now instead of leading you on when he's unsure. And even though it doesn't seem like it, that's really not a selfish thing at all. Link to post Share on other sites
gdguy07 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Hi Nice guy just to let you know my experience.My gf dumped me after 12 really good mths together,she said she didnt want a relationship long term but within a month or so was with another guy, that gutted me. 6 months down the track she is telling this guy the same thing (i got told from a friend),she did come out of a bad marriage 2 yrs ago which affected her but i said you cant tell guys you love them & then end it down the track cause you cant commit,dont get into it in the first place. I think of her as a player now,a selfish slut you could say i think the excitement of someone new just wears off & she only thinks of herself when it comes to breaking up.I dont hate her but she will grow old & lonely because of the way she is treating guys, where as i know im a good person & would never do this to anybody. I believe there is always a reason for a break up it just may take time to find it out when the true colours are shown. Link to post Share on other sites
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