W is stalking me again??????

[annabelle75]

I knew you were a paralegal, but you said that you were actually litigating which implies that you are an attorney. That is what you wanted me to believe, but I knew you weren't.

 

Now why would I be threatened by women with careers? I've BTDT, quit to raise children and have 2 advanced degrees and yes, on occasion I do watch Oprah, but not so much anymore, she's beginning to bore me.

 

I can't be working on litigating a tax case with the IRS because I am not an attorney? Again, let me ask ... do you know what litigation means? For that matter, do you even know what paralegals do?

 

Why don't we just concede that I probably know more about what I am doing than you do.

[Impudent Oyster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunset

Do you believe that these mistakes, and expressions of feeling are wrong?

 

 

 

Thank you for letting us know about this seeming weakness.

 

Perhaps you will continue to point out where someone may have inadequacies in contrast to your superciliousness.

 

Nah, I'd much rather point out the ridiculous stereotypes propagated by many on this board.

[Impudent Oyster]

I can't be working on litigating a tax case with the IRS because I am not an attorney? Again, let me ask ... do you know what litigation means? For that matter, do you even know what paralegals do?

 

Why don't we just concede that I probably know more about what I am doing than you do.

 

Litigating is a verb that implies that you are actually in court, arguing a case.

 

You can't do that and post here unless you are very, VERY talented.

[annabelle75]

Litigating is a verb that implies that you are actually in court, arguing a case.

 

You can't do that and post here unless you are very, VERY talented.

 

Ahh .... you don't know what tax litigation is then. Its a whole other kind of law that takes place with in the IRS. You don't spend your time in an actual court room.

 

If you are going to try to call some one out on something you might want to make sure you know what you are talking about first.

[bunset]

I apologize if the format of my previous post caused offense.

There was an unexpected behavior of HTML in it, and I was unable to complete editing it before another reply was posted.

 

I believe the its semantic content was not lost.

[RealityCheck]

Litigating is a verb that implies that you are actually in court, arguing a case.

 

You can't do that and post here unless you are very, VERY talented.

 

 

OMG!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ya think! Ya really, really, think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Here's a couple more for ya!

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'll see you in padded walls with crayons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blowingthetrout]

Like I said, this improper usage is all too common. Really, are you doing this on purpose? It's kind of fun.

 

I didn't know I was in a spelling bee, mm that made me randy

 

Do you think I'm going to let you walk away with all the attention? No chance, come on girls start paying attention to ME!!!!

[BurriedAlive]

Wow. I never thought my post would spark this much fire...........

 

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. A few of the facts:

 

-W does not work and the children are grown - 1 has left the house & 1 is in his last years of HS.

-I am not sleeping with MM or any other MM, for that matter!

-She hasn't done anything to make me think I she would do anything other than stop and talk to me..

 

I guess my point of posting this thread was just to hear opinions on why she feels the need to do this again. That's all!

 

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts - many of your posts have provided good insight. And yes, there is more likely than not trouble in paradise! I actually do know this for a fact. One of the guys at my old place of employment told that W came in to the office one day and ended up having a heated fight with MM right in front of everyone!!! Isn't that crazy?

 

I guess I don't really understand why she is still with him if this is the way she has to live her life? Not that I want him because I have moved on, no matter what. But maybe you are right and she is just preparing for divorce....

[bunset]

annabelle75]

I can't be working on litigating a tax case with the IRS because I am not an attorney? Again, let me ask ... do you know what litigation means? For that matter, do you even know what paralegals do?

 

Why don't we just concede that I probably know more about what I am doing than you do.

 

Litigating is a verb that implies that you are actually in court, arguing a case.

 

You can't do that and post here unless you are very, VERY talented.

Hmmm, I found several other implied definitions of litigate.

verb1. engage in legal proceedings 2. institute legal proceedings against; file a suit against; "He was warned that the district attorney would process him"; "She actioned the company for discrimination" [syn: action]

I do not see where this excludes the paralegal tasks that are necessary ad litem.

 

Now, in re the OP

I would like to reinforce JNRR's observations and conclusions.

[Impudent Oyster]

I guess I don't really understand why she is still with him if this is the way she has to live her life? Not that I want him because I have moved on, no matter what. But maybe you are right and she is just preparing for divorce....

 

Really? You don't understand? Look, how long has she been married? Twenty years? It's a LONG marriage, of course she hasn't just let this go and "gotten on with her life", this IS her life!

 

She has no outside job, her job is being a wife and mom and her purpose has been threatened, do you really think she's not going to be curious, concerned and searching for the truth?

 

At the risk of being redundant, it's only been FOUR MONTHS. She's been his wife probably for decades, and you really don't understand why she's still with him? Maybe she loves him, maybe she loves her life, maybe she doesn't want to be 40 or 50 something and alone, dating again.

 

This just boggles my mind how people see divorce as such a knee-jerk reaction to what might be a bump in the road of a good marriage. Lots of marriages survive infidelity and go on to be stronger than ever, but to think she should just snap out of it after a few months is ridiculous. To throw out a marriage and turn her life upside down over infidelity when she is otherwise happy with her husband is equally so.

[Trialbyfire]

she is just preparing for divorce....

Which is why you should stay away from any confrontation or acknowledgement of her driving by. Ignore her and she will go away because her interest is in her WS, not someone who has already moved on.

 

The last thing you want to do, is to embroil yourself back into the triangle by showing aggressive action.

[Impudent Oyster]

And yes, there is more likely than not trouble in paradise! I actually do know this for a fact. One of the guys at my old place of employment told that W came in to the office one day and ended up having a heated fight with MM right in front of everyone!!! Isn't that crazy?

 

Not really. Personally I would never fight in front of anyone, hell, we never really fight, but after d-day? We had many heated fights in the privacy of our home, it goes with the territory.

 

It won't last forever, and on the upside, it usually concludes with great make-up sex.

[bunset]

Really? You don't understand? Look, how long has she been married? Twenty years? It's a LONG marriage, of course she hasn't just let this go and "gotten on with her life", this IS her life!

 

She has no outside job, her job is being a wife and mom and her purpose has been threatened, do you really think she's not going to be curious, concerned and searching for the truth?

 

At the risk of being redundant, it's only been FOUR MONTHS. She's been his wife probably for decades, and you really don't understand why she's still with him? Maybe she loves him, maybe she loves her life, maybe she doesn't want to be 40 or 50 something and alone, dating again.

 

This just boggles my mind how people see divorce as such a knee-jerk reaction to what might be a bump in the road of a good marriage. Lots of marriages survive infidelity and go on to be stronger than ever, but to think she should just snap out of it after a few months is ridiculous. To throw out a marriage and turn her life upside down over infidelity when she is otherwise happy with her husband is equally so.

First: IO why do you question BA when she states, clearly that she doesn't understand? I interpret her experience and philosophy as opposed to the apparent confusion and misplaced investigation that the BS is exhibiting.

Second: If the BS loves (present tense) her life she would not need confirmation of her position by seeking information from the OW. Perhaps you meant to say the BS loved her own misinterpretation of her WS views that put him in the A.

Third: I can appreciate your suggestion the BS might be feeling the things you state.

Fourth: I believe that the BS needs to refocus her efforts on communicating w/WS and follow her therapist's advice that she leave the OW out of her reconciliation.

[Impudent Oyster]

First: IO why do you question BA when she states, clearly that she doesn't understand? I interpret her experience and philosophy as opposed to the apparent confusion and misplaced investigation that the BS is exhibiting.

Second: If the BS loves (present tense) her life she would not need confirmation of her position by seeking information from the OW. Perhaps you meant to say the BS loved her own misinterpretation of her WS views that put him in the A.

Third: I can appreciate your suggestion the BS might be feeling the things you state.

Fourth: I believe that the BS needs to refocus her efforts on communicating w/WS and follow her therapist's advice that she leave the OW out of her reconciliation.

 

Baloney. Don't you just adore brevity? Oh and, did you not read my previous posts? Why the assumption that she's seeking information from the OW? She's not seeking information, just reassurance that her husband, is in fact, not at her house (and he wasn't).

[silktricks]

Really? You don't understand? Look, how long has she been married? Twenty years? It's a LONG marriage, of course she hasn't just let this go and "gotten on with her life", this IS her life!

 

She has no outside job, her job is being a wife and mom and her purpose has been threatened, do you really think she's not going to be curious, concerned and searching for the truth?

 

At the risk of being redundant, it's only been FOUR MONTHS. She's been his wife probably for decades, and you really don't understand why she's still with him? Maybe she loves him, maybe she loves her life, maybe she doesn't want to be 40 or 50 something and alone, dating again.

 

This just boggles my mind how people see divorce as such a knee-jerk reaction to what might be a bump in the road of a good marriage. Lots of marriages survive infidelity and go on to be stronger than ever, but to think she should just snap out of it after a few months is ridiculous. To throw out a marriage and turn her life upside down over infidelity when she is otherwise happy with her husband is equally so.

Total agreement from me. Ow seem to have a hard time understanding that infidelity - an instance, not a lifestyle - does not really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. The idea that a wife is going to spend the rest of her life scared is such a joke.

 

It takes awhile to mend, but like everyone knows, scar tissue is actually stronger than tissue that's never been abraded. Thee are so many reasons that 2 people choose to work on the issues in their marriage, and love is usually one of the primary reasons.

 

Infidelity is a tough one to get past, but there are lots of reasons for it. What caused the infidelity in the first place can also affect how readily it can be overcome.

[bunset]

Not really. Personally I would never fight in front of anyone, hell, we never really fight, but after d-day? We had many heated fights in the privacy of our home, it goes with the territory.

 

It won't last forever, and on the upside, it usually concludes with great make-up sex.

 

BA,

 

I'd suggest that you may want to consider that IO is an alternate personality of the BS, since IO knows what usually happens in the BS/WS bedroom.

 

Which is why you should stay away from any confrontation or acknowledgement of her driving by. Ignore her and she will go away because her interest is in her WS, not someone who has already moved on.

 

The last thing you want to do, is to embroil yourself back into the triangle by showing aggressive action.

I hope that TBF's prediction that by ignoring the BS she will go away is accurate. TBF may have been trying to say the the BS interest should be in her WS. Also, TBF may have meant that if she were you she wouldn't want to embroil herself by showing aggressive action. What kind of action TBF considers aggressive, I don't know (because I realize that I cannot read the mind of an other person)

[bunset]

Baloney. Don't you just adore brevity? Oh and, did you not read my previous posts? Why the assumption that she's seeking information from the OW? She's not seeking information, just reassurance that her husband, is in fact, not at her house (and he wasn't).

 

Sometimes I enjoy brevity other times I'm more comfortable with wordiness.

I have read many of your posts. I am not trying to emulate them

Then it appears you agree with me that the BS is looking for reassurance with a fact about a dwelling of the OW. You answered your own question about my assumption.

[bunset]

Total agreement from me. Ow seem to have a hard time understanding that infidelity - an instance, not a lifestyle - does not really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. The idea that a wife is going to spend the rest of her life scared is such a joke.

 

It takes awhile to mend, but like everyone knows, scar tissue is actually stronger than tissue that's never been abraded. Thee are so many reasons that 2 people choose to work on the issues in their marriage, and love is usually one of the primary reasons.

 

Infidelity is a tough one to get past, but there are lots of reasons for it. What caused the infidelity in the first place can also affect how readily it can be overcome.

 

I agree with much of ST post, but it never ceases to amaze me that such a statement as "does not really mean anything in the grand scheme of things" is not conditioned by the speaker's realization that they do not truly know what others' grand scheme is.

I did not know that scar tissue is actually stronger than tissue that's never been abraded. Then again, my name isn't everybody

[BurriedAlive]

Not really. Personally I would never fight in front of anyone, hell, we never really fight, but after d-day? We had many heated fights in the privacy of our home, it goes with the territory.

 

It won't last forever, and on the upside, it usually concludes with great make-up sex.

 

Um, you do know that I didn't sleep with your husband, don't you?

 

Good for you that you have great make up sex. I bet your husband had great make up sex with his OW during their affair.

 

It's very sad that you try and justify why YOU took YOUR WH back after D-day by coming over to OUR forum by trying to make us OWs all feel worthless and that our relationships with MM meant nothing. Seriously, unless you wish to offer respectful advice and want to work with us OWs instead of against us, you may want to stay on the infidelity forum!

 

Yes, bunset, I do think IO may in fact be another one of xMM W's personalities! Good one.

 

On another note, I do plan on ignoring W's lurking around. I am away from my house for more than 12 hours per day and I tend to always go away for the weekend so it shouldn't be very hard! When I am around, I have better things to do than watch for her.

[whichwayisup]

On another note, I do plan on ignoring W's lurking around. I am away from my house for more than 12 hours per day and I tend to always go away for the weekend so it shouldn't be very hard! When I am around, I have better things to do than watch for her

 

Don't worry about it unless you have something to worry about. Enjoy your life and just go on as you were before.

 

I guess I don't really understand why she is still with him if this is the way she has to live her life? Not that I want him because I have moved on, no matter what. But maybe you are right and she is just preparing for divorce....

 

4 months isn't that long and who knows, maybe she felt like checking up to see where he was, or she's feeling insecure and is doing this so she can trust him again...Noone knows what is really going on between them except the two of them - So to speculate and assume that things are really bad, they're about to divorce really is a mute point because bottomline, you're not with him anymore so what he does or doesn't do doesn't matter...

[Impudent Oyster]

It's very sad that you try and justify why YOU took YOUR WH back after D-day by coming over to OUR forum by trying to make us OWs all feel worthless and that our relationships with MM meant nothing. .

 

You give me too much credit. I think you can feel worthless and that your affair was meaningless without any help from little old me. I'm sure the MM took care of that for you.

[Trialbyfire]

I hope that TBF's prediction that by ignoring the BS she will go away is accurate. TBF may have been trying to say the the BS interest should be in her WS. Also, TBF may have meant that if she were you she wouldn't want to embroil herself by showing aggressive action. What kind of action TBF considers aggressive, I don't know (because I realize that I cannot read the mind of an other person)

I said what I meant bunset. Most people would find it pretty easy to understand.

[bunset]

Which is why you should stay away from any confrontation or acknowledgement of her driving by. Ignore her and she will go away because her interest is in her WS, not someone who has already moved on.

 

The last thing you want to do, is to embroil yourself back into the triangle by showing aggressive action.

I hope that TBF's prediction that by ignoring the BS she will go away is accurate. TBF may have been trying to say the the BS interest should be in her WS. Also, TBF may have meant that if she were you she wouldn't want to embroil herself by showing aggressive action. What kind of action TBF considers aggressive, I don't know (because I realize that I cannot read the mind of an other person)

I said what I meant bunset. Most people would find it pretty easy to understand

TBF,

 

Do you know for a fact that the BS will go away if BA ignores her?

I do not see where the BS really does have her interests in WS.

How do you know that "the last thing" BA wants to do is embroil herself?

What do you consider aggressive action that BA might take?

 

I wrote my response because your words were stating what other people are doing/thinking, not what you are thinking.

Or, perhaps you imagine that you control what other people feel and do.

[silktricks]

it never ceases to amaze me that such a statement as "does not really mean anything in the grand scheme of things" is not conditioned by the speaker's realization that they do not truly know what others' grand scheme is.

"the grand scheme of things" is a fairly well known phrase indicating the world and system of life as we (humanity at large) know it. I was using it in that reference. A case of infidelity does not mean anything in that context, yet it seems that many (if not most) OW want it to mean everything. Or even expect to mean everything for the rest of the FBS's life. :laugh:

 

As for me and my "grand scheme" it's that my husband's "mistake" is over and in the past. I would assume that is the case for the OW as well. I know it's the case for my husband.

 

I did not know that scar tissue is actually stronger than tissue that's never been abraded. Then again, my name isn't everybody

You do seem to be in a nit-picky mood, now don't you? If you want to pick apart my posts, I really don't care, but you may expect to be picked back at in the future (when I'm in a worse mood than now). (And I can't really be expected to know that your real name isn't everybody can I, this being an anonymous forum and all :lmao: .)

[bunset]

"the grand scheme of things" is a fairly well known phrase indicating the world and system of life as we (humanity at large) know it. I was using it in that reference. A case of infidelity does not mean anything in that context, yet it seems that many (if not most) OW want it to mean everything. Or even expect to mean everything for the rest of the FBS's life. :laugh:

 

As for me and my "grand scheme" it's that my husband's "mistake" is over and in the past. I would assume that is the case for the OW as well. I know it's the case for my husband.

 

I'm sorry, but I'm still reading that you know what most OW want.

I know quite a few OW, and I haven't heard that they want the A to mean everything. Neither have I heard that they expect their A to mean anything to the FBS.

 

You do seem to be in a nit-picky mood, now don't you? If you want to pick apart my posts, I really don't care, but you may expect to be picked back at in the future (when I'm in a worse mood than now). (And I can't really be expected to know that your real name isn't everybody can I, this being an anonymous forum and all :lmao: .)

 

I'm sorry, but generally I'm not this nit-picky, but I am so very tired of dealing with controlling people that project their feelings and opinions on their 'targets'. And the words they tend to use are generally abusive, judgemental and controlling. I saw some of this occurring toward other posters in this thread. The best defense against such abuse is to tell the abuser that they do NOT know what is actually in the mind of their target. (per Patricia Evans, author of several books about verbally abusive relationships)