W is stalking me again??????

I've never been married but from what I heard, in Canada it's a NO fault laws in divorce. You split half and half... make decent arrangements for the kids..and here you go... each your way. I also can't see why someone would spend so much cash unless they're hiring a 'Hell's Angel' to take care of them...LOL

Yes Lizzie that is pretty much our laws in Canadahhhhh!!!

Basically says "Grow up People and Move on!"

That's your only response to what I said? What a joke.

 

Sorry, I'm too busy litigating a tax case to check my typos on a chat forum. Why don't you go back and finish watching Oprah now.

That's your only response to what I said? What a joke.

 

Sorry, I'm too busy litigating a tax case to check my typos on a chat forum. Why don't you go back and finish watching Oprah now.

Bwahahahahaha...oh right, you go ahead and "litigate"...do you even know what that means? How in gods name can you be litigating and posting on Loveshack simultaneously? Too funny!

Like I said, the entertainment value alone of this board is worth ten times the price of admission.

Annabelle is off to court now, but when she gets back, the onus probandi is all hers, fair enough Annabelle?

Bwahahahahaha...oh right, you go ahead and "litigate"...do you even know what that means? How in gods name can you be litigating and posting on Loveshack simultaneously? Too funny!

 

Like I said, the entertainment value alone of this board is worth ten times the price of admission.

 

Annabelle is off to court now, but when she gets back, the onus probandi is all hers, fair enough Annabelle?

Your jealous streak never seizes to amaze me!

It's written in every word you write!

Blah, blah, blah.....

I see a woman who signed up for a lifetime of PI'ng on her free time. Most BSs become obsessed with PIng after and A, why would this be any different? HOW COULD YOU NOT? any person would turn into a spying maniac after that. WHICH IS WHY I think cheaters should not be forgiven FOR THE BS's OWN SANITY.

What a bunch of unmitigated bullsh#t. Truly. That's quite the non sequiter, going from driving by the OW's house a few times to becoming a "spying maniac".

Just FYI, I did drive by the OW's house after d-day. I was curious, I wanted to make sure I didn't see my H's car there. I did it ONCE.

Now that it's been a few years since d-day, I keep NO TABS on my H. I don't check his phone, I don't call him at work unless I need to, I don't check up on him at hotels when he travels, nothing, nada, zip, can't be bothered, in fact, he does much more checking up, he calls me 4 or 5 times a day, not the other way around.

I've got better things to do, so TC,I hate to burst that fantasy of yours that all BW's are obsessed with their husband's comings and goings and have turned into crazed stalkers, but it just is a big fat fallacy. Most of us could care less.

Go on over to a betrayed board and ask how many people who are a year or 2 past d-day and are acting the way you'd like to think you are. They'll laugh at you.

Your jealous streak never seizes to amaze me!

 

It's written in every word you write!

OMG! It's the attack of the ubiquitous inappropriate punctuation marks! Again!

Your jealous streak never seizes to amaze me!

 

It's written in every word you write!

No kidding. Wow !! I guess he can't comprehend that there are people in this world with actual jobs? I'm not understanding her response at all. If I was going to create some fictitious fanstasy career it would not be in tax law. Yikes.

She's not the brightest bulb, I guess.

OMG! It's the attack of the ubiquitous inappropriate punctuation marks! Again!

You seem to be in the appropriate Thread......"Obsessive Behavior":p:p:p:p

Obssesivley correcting peoples spelling, grammer and puncuation:p:p:p

Here this will keep you busy for a while....

slkjfioudkjdfn;fjkkdjkv;kj;kdjroiuefnckjd;kjrfoiej

Figure that out!!!!!

No kidding. Wow !! I guess he can't comprehend that there are people in this world with actual jobs? I'm not understanding her response at all. If I was going to create some fictitious fanstasy career it would not be in tax law. Yikes.

 

She's not the brightest bulb, I guess.

Despite your lame attempt to convince me of your illustrious profession, I know for a fact that you are not a litigator.

As far as my not being the brightest bulb, that may be true, there are smarter people than I, they just don't frequent this board.

But then, choosing to be an OW is not a particularly brilliant move, is it?

Despite your lame attempt to convince me of your illustrious profession, I know for a fact that you are not a litigator.

 

As far as my not being the brightest bulb, that may be true, there are smarter people than I, they just don't frequent this board.

 

But then, choosing to be an OW is not a particularly brilliant move, is it?

You are insane. You know that right?

I mean seriously. You are a nut case. How many times have I told you my story? I didn't choose to be an OW, ever in my life. MY god ...you are just a delusional nutcase!

How would you know my profession? Are you hiding under my desk?

You are the very defintion of PATHETIC. Get a life.

 

I've got better things to do, so TC,I hate to burst that fantasy of yours that all BW's are obsessed with their husband's comings and goings and have turned into crazed stalkers, but it just is a big fat fallacy. Most of us could care less.

 

Go on over to a betrayed board and ask how many people who are a year or 2 past d-day and are acting the way you'd like to think you are. They'll laugh at you.

I'm glad you've learned to let go.

But some don't or can't. I doubt anyone makes a blanket statement that ALL BS are obsessed w/the A. Clearly this one, mentioned by OP is still rather disturbed by it.

I can assure you that even a BS who knew the A was 3 encounters, long distance over a period of one month and is more than 1 year past d-day still monitors all email, internet access and accuses reconciling WS of 'still looking' for A's

It seems that your replies make an assumption that most BS's think like you. I have read that this kind of projection could be indicative of a controlling and possibly verbally abusive nature.

OMG! It's the attack of the ubiquitous inappropriate punctuation marks! Again!

Do you know of a more appropriate way to represent facial expressions, vocal inflections and body language on a predominantly text-based forum?

I believe that people who accidentally mis-type are also expressing their need to respond in a timely fashion in order to communicate their emotions.

Do you believe that these mistakes, and expressions of feeling are wrong?

Do you believe that these mistakes, and expressions of feeling are wrong?

Yes, not to mention that the constant use of the exclamation point is incredibly annoying.

Do you know of a more appropriate way to represent facial expressions, vocal inflections and body language on a predominantly text-based forum?

 

I believe that people who accidentally mis-type are also expressing their need to respond in a timely fashion in order to communicate their emotions.

 

Do you believe that these mistakes, and expressions of feeling are wrong?

That is just how she repsonds to posts that she can't actually argue with the truth or logic.

Yes, not to mention that the constant use of the exclamation point is incredibly annoying.

YES!!!!!! AND YOUR ALL OVER IT!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are insane. You know that right?

 

I mean seriously. You are a nut case. How many times have I told you my story? I didn't choose to be an OW, ever in my life. MY god ...you are just a delusional nutcase!

 

How would you know my profession? Are you hiding under my desk?

 

You are the very defintion of PATHETIC. Get a life.

Why do you think I was talking about you when I talked about people who choose to be OW? I know YOU didn't choose it, I wasn't talking about you but about most OW who know the men they choose to get involved with are married. Are you paranoid?

I know you aren't a litigator because it's glaringly obvious. I'm not wrong, am I?

To the OP: I wouldn't get all bent out of shape over the BW driving past your house a few times. And really, driving past 3 times over a period of 24 hours is hardly "circling", nor is it stalking. Yes, there are certainly law about stalking, but driving past your house does not fit the criteria.

Four months after D-Day, she is still scared. I don't know if she met you (I didn't read very thoroughly), if not, she may just want to get a look at you.

I wouldn't personally stop her and ask her what she's doing, but that's me. If it doesn't stop, then I might get concerned, but not yet.

To the others on this thread:

Wow - you folks sure got your tails in a twist - and I'm not sure over what.

BS do not spend the rest of their lives monitoring their husband's actions. Usually there is a period of time where they are very afraid and do some monitoring. That dies out pretty quickly. If nothing else, few people have enough time to do it, unless they have no kids and no job.

While it may seem like somewhat of a double standard to OW that it's OK with us for a BW to do a little investigating of the OW (like driving past to see if our husband's car is parked there....) and it is NOT OK with us for the OW to be driving past our house looking for our husband... if it doesn't make sense to the OW that there is a difference, it just doesn't. Most BW will see the difference readily. (Just so you know my opinion, I do think it's a double standard, but that's OK with me.)

What does it matter how well any of us spell, or our grammar, or our jobs or anything else? All of us OW and BW included provide valuable insight into behavior and perceptions of other points of view. A lot of time our perceptions are considered stupid by others, but that's OK too. That's what makes us unique and fun.

Hope ya all have a nice day. You gave me an interesting end to mine!!

I was wondering if maybe someone can tell me what the heck this means.... MM & I have been in NC for more than 4 months after I met with his W about 3 weeks after D-day after she kept driving around my house & showing up at my work. Anyway, the last time I talked to her was more than 3 months ago when she told me her therapist didn't want her talking to me - that she had to stop feeling the need to get her answers from me when they should be coming from her husband (because he is SUCH an honest guy!). Since then I have only seen her around town a few times when we both don't acknowledge each other. I haven't seen her around my house all summer.

 

Anyway, the past weekend, I have seen her 3 times in 24 hours circling my house (I live on a corner). I haven't been looking for her either so I wonder how many times I have just not seen her... WTF is this that all about???? Why after all this time is she back?

Bunset - Brilliant post.

Burried Alive - there are a number of reasons as to why BW would be circling your door...the list is not in any means exhaustive...but here goes

• She suspects her H of cheating and believes it could be with you and is checking if he goes to your house
  
• She is in comparison mode and wants to check out what you may have that she thinks she doesn't have if she's feeling particularly insecure
  
• She (obviously) hasn't got over the situation and her issues are driving her to go to your house for no other reason than to "be there"
  
• She is threatening you with her presence reminding you of her existence (and probably her pain)
  
• She wants to drive you to confront her for some reason (maybe start a fight with her)
  
• She needs to continue the drama in her life with you as the focus because its too painful to deal with the resettlement of her life after an affair and focus her anger on her H
  
• She wants to confront you again and ask more questions and hasn't built up the nerve
  
• She is obsessing about you and wants to be near you/learn your movements (basically stalk)

I think the most likely reason is number one. However, although Impudent Oyster insists the opposite, it could possibly be the last point (worst case scenario) because none of us, even BW's know what is in her mind. It is only speculation.

Firstly, I must say, and largely because of this site and judging my BW on the same terms as other BW's I had learned from, that I let the BW in my situation rule my life for a while. Big mistake. She followed me, tried to assault me, talked to me, called me countless times on my mobile, wrote poison pen letters, left me alone, contacted my friends. She contacted every single one of my colleagues and told them about the situation in two seperate work places. Because of my guilt (I've driven her to this mindset) I did nothing about it and watched as drama after drama unfolded. However, after some strong words from LS'ers I took action and stopped my guilt from clouding my self-preservation. Now, your situation is different to this, your BW hasn't yet gone a further step. But protect yourself before (in case she does) by...

• Logging times and dates when she is at your house
  
• Checking with your postman that all mail is being delivered
  
• Checking around your house/car for possible damage
  
• Would it be possible to confront her when you have a witness in tow? Just to simply state that you would like to know why she is circling your house and also that if she does not stop you will be forced to log your concerns with the authorities - and also inform her H of her actions (I'm sure she does not want any further contact between you and MM so it may encourage her to stop)
  
• If she seems genuinely upset and wants to ask questions could you provide her with answers with the agreement that she will no longer visit your house etc?

I guess it all depends on her state of mind. Its worrying she is now deciding against the very good advice of her therapist, but I wouldnt worry too much - its always best to prepare for a worst case scenario though.

Why do you think I was talking about you when I talked about people who choose to be OW? I know YOU didn't choose it, I wasn't talking about you but about most OW who know the men they choose to get involved with are married. Are you paranoid?

 

I know you aren't a litigator because it's glaringly obvious. I'm not wrong, am I?

Do you you know what tax litigation is? I don't see how my being a paralegal has anything to do with what we are discussing. Are you some how threatened by women with careers? I don't think my point of view would be any less valid if I walked dogs for a living.

Honestly, if you think arguing with the IRS about estate taxes is an "illustrious" career, you have a very odd way of looking at the looking at the world.

But seriously, please tell me how you have come to this conclusion. I'm dying to know.

YES!!!!!! AND YOUR ALL OVER IT!!!!!!

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This should be you're all over it. You're is a contraction of you are. Your is a possessive form of you, referring to something a person has.

This common improper usage is also very annoying.

What does it matter how well any of us spell, or our grammar, or our jobs or anything else? All of us OW and BW included provide valuable insight into behavior and perceptions of other points of view. A lot of time our perceptions are considered stupid by others, but that's OK too. That's what makes us unique and fun.

 

Hope ya all have a nice day. You gave me an interesting end to mine!!

I agree! Well said!

Why do you think I was talking about you when I talked about people who choose to be OW? I know YOU didn't choose it, I wasn't talking about you but about most OW who know the men they choose to get involved with are married. Are you paranoid?

 

I know you aren't a litigator because it's glaringly obvious. I'm not wrong, am I?

Oh Castle of Grey Skull what on my sweet garters do we have here!!your more bitchy than Joan Crawford festival all week on AMC!! why pay for cable when I can just read you posts Mommy Dearest!!

Do you you know what tax litigation is? I don't see how my being a paralegal has anything to do with what we are discussing. Are you some how threatened by women with careers? I don't think my point of view would be any less valid if I walked dogs for a living.

 

Honestly, if you think arguing with the IRS about estate taxes is an "illustrious" career, you have a very odd way of looking at the looking at the world.

 

But seriously, please tell me how you have come to this conclusion. I'm dying to know.

I knew you were a paralegal, but you said that you were actually litigating which implies that you are an attorney. That is what you wanted me to believe, but I knew you weren't.

Now why would I be threatened by women with careers? I've BTDT, quit to raise children and have 2 advanced degrees and yes, on occasion I do watch Oprah, but not so much anymore, she's beginning to bore me.

Oh Castle of Grey Skull what on my sweet garters do we have here!!your more bitchy than Joan Crawford festival all week on AMC!! why pay for cable when I can just read you posts Mommy Dearest!!

Like I said, this improper usage is all too common. Really, are you doing this on purpose? It's kind of fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunset

Do you believe that these mistakes, and expressions of feeling are wrong?

Yes, not to mention that the constant use of the exclamation point is incredibly annoying.

Thank you for letting us know about this seeming weakness.

Perhaps you will continue to point out where someone may have inadequacies in contrast to your superciliousness.

I'm glad you've learned to let go.

But some don't or can't. I doubt anyone makes a blanket statement that ALL BS are obsessed w/the A. Clearly this one, mentioned by OP is still rather disturbed by it.

If you doubt that anyone makes a blanket statement that ALL BS are obsessed then I beg you to read Tomcat's posts. She insists that all BS's who drive by the OW's house are heading straight for the looney bin, with a few detours to stalker central before they arrive. She insists they should just get divorced because their lives will become a never ending stake out.

Read her posts then get back to me. You won't be doubting for long.