pricillia Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I really don't think this has anything to do with the age of the person that she is playing games with, it is the attention that she is getting from these men/boys. as far as the 18yr old goes she likes being his fantasy, if I were OP I woud encourage 18 yr old to find someone more his own age, he is definately just using you and vice versa let him be.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Why would a 40 y old want to have sex with a 18 y old? Well, just because. That's like asking why some men want to have sex with men. Not everyone thinks the same way as you and I would. There could be a number of reasons why - psychological, personal, whatever. That's not the subject of discussion at this point. As long as it's not something that causes damage to the 18 year old (which I really don't think it would in this case), it's not an issue to get outraged about.
amerikajin Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Why would a 40 y old want to have sex with a 18 y old? Why do you care?
amerikajin Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 As I said earlier in this thread, "age of life" versus "stage of life", although I sincerely question the maturity level of a 40 year-old woman/man who wants to play head games with and bed down an 18 year-old boy/girl. School boy fantasies and the reality of adult head games are two different things. You guys just assume that she wants to play head games...maybe she just wants a good lay with someone who's young and attractive. I seriously doubt the 18-year-old is going to be scarred for life. For me and most guys I have known, being a teenager is about releasing raging hormones. They would probably only get emotional if they were dating and going out for an extended period of time.
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 You guys just assume that she wants to play head games...maybe she just wants a good lay with someone who's young and attractive. I seriously doubt the 18-year-old is going to be scarred for life. For me and most guys I have known, being a teenager is about releasing raging hormones. They would probably only get emotional if they were dating and going out for an extended period of time. Go back to all of Grim's threads. She's a player or self-styled baller. Her most recent 26 year-old, dumped her for overgaming, while she was gaming three other guys.
pricillia Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Well, just because. That's like asking why some men want to have sex with men. Not everyone thinks the same way as you and I would. There could be a number of reasons why - psychological, personal, whatever. That's not the subject of discussion at this point. As long as it's not something that causes damage to the 18 year old (which I really don't think it would in this case), it's not an issue to get outraged about. I don't think yamaha is getting outraged, and also how do you know that it won't cause damage phycially or emotionally
Krytellan Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I don't think yamaha is getting outraged, and also how do you know that it won't cause damage phycially or emotionally That person is an adult. Why would it be my job to police her emotions or physicality?
pricillia Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 That person is an adult. Why would it be my job to police her emotions or physicality? I never said it was your job, all I am saying is who knows what damage a relationship like this can cause physically or emotionally. Plus if this were the other way around with 40 yr old man and 18 year old girl people would think much differently.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I don't think yamaha is getting outraged, You're right, he's not outraged. More like he's looking to spread the muck a bit more and (somewhat gleefully) see how dirty it can get. and also how do you know that it won't cause damage phycially or emotionally How do you know it would? The person is an adult. I doubt that the OP was looking for a relationship - and so this torrid affair or whatever you may call it, wasn't going to last forever. I also doubt that the 18 year old would be angsting over this incident ten years - or even two years - from now. All I'm saying is that we need to keep this in perspective. It's not possible for us to hand-hold and guide every person in their personal matters. In fact, I doubt if even one-tenth of the advice given here is actually implemented. In the end, people do what they want to do.
pricillia Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 You're right, he's not outraged. More like he's looking to spread the muck a bit more and (somewhat gleefully) see how dirty it can get. How do you know it would? The person is an adult. I doubt that the OP was looking for a relationship - and so this torrid affair or whatever you may call it, wasn't going to last forever. I also doubt that the 18 year old would be angsting over this incident ten years - or even two years - from now. All I'm saying is that we need to keep this in perspective. It's not possible for us to hand-hold and guide every person in their personal matters. In fact, I doubt if even one-tenth of the advice given here is actually implemented. In the end, people do what they want to do. I don't know it would, however it is food for thought. I can let Yamaha fight his own battles however he just asked a question. You also don't know if people take advice of others here, yes in the end people do what they want to do, however if they did not want some input they would not come here in the first place. For me the perspective is that OP is loving the attention and if this was the other way around 40 year old man with 18 year old girl he would be a perv.
Yamaha Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 You're right, he's not outraged. More like he's looking to spread the muck a bit more and (somewhat gleefully) see how dirty it can get. You have me all wrong, TTSP. I am not outraged by her wanting to see a 18 y old but I do wonder why a women of 40 years would want to be with him. Women usually want more of a connection with the people they sleep with than just pure unadulterated lust. If you have read some of her(Grimm's) other posts she has admitted to having issues with her life and is now questioning some of her desires. I do not believe that it is normal for a healthy, emotionally sound human being of 40 to want to sleep with a 18 y old. She has every right to if she desires but that is the reason I brought it up. I was trying to help her but the decision is hers.
amerikajin Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Go back to all of Grim's threads. She's a player or self-styled baller. Her most recent 26 year-old, dumped her for overgaming, while she was gaming three other guys. What do you mean by "gaming"? Look, I'm not saying what Grimm is doing is necessarily advisable, but it's hard for me to feel a lot of sympathy for the guy here. I know how the majority of men think in this situation like this. A 20-something who hooks up with a 40-something is not looking for a relationship; they're probably just living out a fantasy and enjoying sex with a woman who knows how to work it in the sack.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 You have me all wrong, TTSP. I am not outraged by her wanting to see a 18 y old but I do wonder why a women of 40 years would want to be with him. I actually didn't mean "you" being outraged. I was referring to the general mood of hand-wringing despair that was exhibited here by some. Women usually want more of a connection with the people they sleep with than just pure unadulterated lust. Apparently not. That's a pre-conceived notion that we have - that women sleep with someone because they feel a connection with them. To be honest, there could be any number of motives as to why a person would want to sleep with another. Lust is just one of them. Love is often not at the top of the list. If you have read some of her(Grimm's) other posts she has admitted to having issues with her life and is now questioning some of her desires. I do not believe that it is normal for a healthy, emotionally sound human being of 40 to want to sleep with a 18 y old. She has every right to if she desires but that is the reason I brought it up. I was trying to help her but the decision is hers. I understand. I agree, a 40 year old woman wanting to sleep with an 18 year old kid is not exactly a healthy mentality. For the purpose of this thread, though, my opinion was focused more on giving them both personal choice.
amerikajin Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 LS Mods: please consider changing the edit format. Much appreciated.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Oh, by the way - the OP's name is "Grim" and not Grimm. We're not talking about those fairy-tale guys - "The brothers Grimm".
uniqueone Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 It depends if he's a naive 18 year old or not. If he's naive, then she should not date him because he's too vulnerable. If he's very worldly, then I guess it's up to them. A 25 year old convinced me into going out with him last year. It took a lot of convincing. I have to admit that he didn't act 25 at all. He acted 35 so it was an unusual situation. He was very worldly and intelligent. I didn't have sex with him but I think that's all he was looking for. It didn't last very long.
Author Grim Posted August 12, 2007 Author Posted August 12, 2007 ok once again 18 is dead in the water i cant go there
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 ok once again 18 is dead in the water i cant go there Glad to know you're being so decisive. It's for the good, anyway.
Author Grim Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 Go back to all of Grim's threads. She's a player or self-styled baller. Her most recent 26 year-old, dumped her for overgaming, while she was gaming three other guys. (26) he is lying sleeping on my sofa. he is screwing with my head my heart is in shreds but i have a great suit of armour on and yes i do wanna feel special just for once im tired of always coming second
burning 4 revenge Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 You guys just assume that she wants to play head games...maybe she just wants a good lay with someone who's young and attractive. I seriously doubt the 18-year-old is going to be scarred for life. For me and most guys I have known, being a teenager is about releasing raging hormones. They would probably only get emotional if they were dating and going out for an extended period of time.please re-read post 47. the last thing we need is a bunch of women fully justified in their minds to do what they all want to do anyways
Author Grim Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 please re-read post 47. the last thing we need is a bunch of women fully justified in their minds to do what they all want to do anyways re read and digested i am forty but everyone says i look 27 ( i could lol that, but i wont) im not really a player just ran with the idea when cobra planted the seed. loke most women sex love is there a difference do think im in the last chance saloon and in need of reassurance. i enjoy the ego trip, but feel like crap after. however the 26 yearold has more maturity than me, i am quite niave and shy believe it or not and most under 26's could teach me a thing or two. i read people, just not me. im easily flattered because untill lately it hasnt happened. (hubby wouldn't even dust me on the way past to get to the kettle) im just out of a 15 year relationship and anyone who knows me, knows im a joker but i dont mess around. (26) managed to hit the right buttons but he is playing games, not me im just remaining at arms length, (thats really hard) trying not to be high maintainence. (18 ) messes with my sense of humour but i think it is all quite innocent, (innuendo bingo) i think if i took him up on his offer he would run a mile. he is a wee flirt but he is harmless and i think he knows i am too, so its like a game that makes him look good to his friends and i can handle the fun so long as there are boundries, we r never alone, we will not touch never mind have sex but loads of chat and back chat. im lost and alone and trying so hard to get through it. im not the bitch i profess to be (armour)
burning 4 revenge Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Does the idea of f*cking anyone born before the Thatcher Administration fill you with disgust?
Author Grim Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 Does the idea of f*cking anyone born before the Thatcher Administration fill you with disgust? no its not about age (26) just makes me feel real, happy, attractive. but he has issues and its to early to intrude. and i dont go where i am not invited. he pushes me away then pulls me back everytime i accept his decision. maybe he wants me to fight for him maybe he doesnt, i dont know, he sees me as strong and independant, but maybe he is as scared as me, i just dont know. he has a rep as a player but reps can be false rumours. look at me i even have myself convinced i can handle this, but there is a cloud blocking out my sun. so i run to every glimmer of light
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 i am forty but everyone says i look 27 ( i could lol that, but i wont) Props to you for maintaining your looks. But you're completely dependent on your appearance. You're resorting to your looks for getting yourself friends, getting lovers, getting out of tough situations, and then getting new lovers. It won't last forever, and you know that too. Stop defining yourself merely by how you look. im not really a player just ran with the idea when cobra planted the seed. OK, I racked my brains around this one, but I REALLY don't get it. do think im in the last chance saloon and in need of reassurance. i enjoy the ego trip, but feel like crap after. Who says you're in the "last chance saloon" (whatever that is)? You're nowhere near the end of your relationship potential, yet. Please stop using your need for reassurance as an excuse to start yet another meaningless, imbalanced relationship that leaves you feeling lonely and guilty afterwards. however the 26 yearold has more maturity than me, i am quite niave and shy believe it or not and most under 26's could teach me a thing or two. I don't really buy that. You're a grown woman, you know what you're doing. You just get strung along by whoever gives you a bit of attention. read people, just not me. im easily flattered because untill lately it hasnt happened. (hubby wouldn't even dust me on the way past to get to the kettle) im just out of a 15 year relationship and anyone who knows me, knows im a joker but i dont mess around. You're married?? Or did you get divorced recently? I don't know if you're using these men to fill in the new-found emptiness in your life, or whether you just love the attention and feeling of wantedness that you get from them. In any case, you need to understand that just because you feel lonely and bored, you can't go around having a relationship with every guy who's willing. It won't take away your feelings of loneliness, because you'll still feel empty at the core. The only way to get over this feeling of insecurity is to accept yourself and your situation for what it is. Be honest with yourself about what you really want.
Trialbyfire Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 (26) he is lying sleeping on my sofa. he is screwing with my head my heart is in shreds but i have a great suit of armour on and yes i do wanna feel special just for once im tired of always coming second If you want to feel special, you need to find someone who considers you important and a priority. No more little boys who aren't ready to settle down and want to play head games. When I use the term little boys, it's not age reliant because there are enough biological men that still fit this category. You also need to believe you're hot. By using little boys to stroke your ego, it will not help you in the least. What will help is to find someone who cares about you, as a person. Like I keep saying over and over again on LS, we wimmins need to wade through a whole lotta' garbage, to find someone worthwhile.
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